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really complicated relationship...
Heyyyy. Okay... So I'm a sophomore girl, fifteen. Some background on me: Dated a guy all of last year (I was freshman,14 he was sophomore,16) and he was a jerk. He would be a complete ass one second and then force me to look him in the eye when he told me he loved me. He kinda sorta (based on your defintion) cheated. He pressured me into fingering. He physicallyl forced my hand to give him a hj. He asked me for weeks for a bj saying things like "if you really loved me, you'd do this". He dumped me in a text. All in all, he really hurt me. He confessed he was only in the seven month relationship for the physical stuff, only liked me when we were hooking up, etc. He also told me he didn't tell anyone about how far we'd gone which was a lie cause he would give his baseball team entire play-by-plays and brag about how he "had me on a leash". But okay. I was whipped. I was so confident and strong before I met him. I really changed when we dated. I hate that girl that I was. I was an IDIOT and I wish more than anything I could take it back. I became a little puppy dog and basically lost all of my self worth when the whole thing was over and done with. I felt like a joke. I felt like(because of this and other instances involiving guys prior to this one) a guy couldn't ever like me for the person I was. That there was something so horrible about me or my personality that my body was the only thing that would keep them around. After the break up I was to put it shortly a mess. And one of my really good guy friends basically saved me... He talked me through a lot of it. I told him things I didn't even tell my girlfriends. When I wanted to beg for my ex back he told me I was too good for that and he basicallly helped me find myself again. We've stayed god friends August he started dating a girl. Around November I started dating a guy. Towards the end of November he was talkign to me about how he wanted to break up with the girl. He did it and called me after so we could talk. He was pretty upset just because he felt bad for hurting her. About a month later I decided to break up with my boyfriend cause he was super clingy and would look through my phone and yell at me and stuff. Again, my guy friend helped me through this. After that we started talking every single day. People accused us of liking eachother but we both assured them we were just really good friends. But the thing is... I like him now. I'm so confused by our relationship. And I don't want to ask him about it because I don't want to ruin the friendship. Recently he hasn't texted me as much and he acts really distant when we hang out around other people. But that's only b een the past like week so maybe he's just in a slump? I dont' know... but it actually makes me sad. We've been through so much and I don't know what's going through my head or what to do or if I really do like him or what... I need some serious help...
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Ok to start off you've been through a lot. You and him both need some time to think things over. He probably doesn't know what to do either and he's a guy so he's probably isolating himself from you and trying to fix his problems on his own. That's why he's acting so distant. He probably doesn't know how he feels about you.
The best thing to do would be to give each other some space. Don't text him a whole lot.
If you want communicate and ask him about what you both should do. If he says remain friends then just do that. Tell him you like him though. If he wants to be in a relationship with you he will ask you out and say so when you guys talk about it. You can't force him to go out with you. Go by what he says.
I hope this helps and that's a really rough situation. I'm sorry you had to go through all this. If you need more help inbox me. :)
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The distance can mean a difference of things. But its understandable that you like him. Some one that cares for you that much and you the same is common. But sense you have the relationship that you do. Just ask him if theirs anything wrong. It might just be a test or something. If there is nothing wrong, talk about what you usually do.
Lillian
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Most strong, long-lasting relationships begin with friendship. It sounds to me like you two have the basis for a mutually beneficial relationship. Maybe his recent silence means he's feeling the same mixed feelings that you've been experiencing and he's feeling unsure as well. He sounds like a wonderful, caring guy and I feel you should bite the bullet here and let him know how you truly feel about him. It sounds like you've been through alot in a short amount of time. Let him know how much he means to you and take it from there. Hope this helps. Good luck!
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