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Boyfriend advice- rough patch
So my boyfriend came over a week ago and we talked for about 3 hours...at first I was upset with him because I felt like we were growing apart and fighting a lot more about stupid things and he didn't want to talk to me and fix things. After a lot of tears, he finally broke through and told me how he felt. After that everything just flooded out from both of us and we made a huge 'break through' in our relationship. We both decided that even though we're in love, in the long run we probably weren't going to last. But I asked him if we were still going to try and he said yes of course...sooo we're still going out and things have been going better then ever since then but I was just wondering if this will be good for me. I love him and I love hanging out with him, but should I keep being with him if our personalities clash? We haven't gotten into any fights lately, but I'm sure we will eventually start again...I mean, yeah we fight a lot but the good times ALWAYS make up for the bad times...So what do you all think? Should I run this thing into the ground? Or might we actually have a chance? Any advice is good, thank you all so much.
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I don't want to sound like a bitch but I think that you should keep the relationship going if it doesn't work out the way you wanted then tell him its done and try to find someone who is some-what like you but who isn't exactly like you
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Your relationships sounds a lot like mine. I've been in love with my boyfriend since I was 14 and we dated freshman year then got back together our senior year, broke up over summer, and now are back together. Overall, we've been together for over a year. Now, I might be biased because of this, but I'm going to try to help you out anyways. I've been in your position many times and have debated ending things with my boyfriend many times. I even did once, but I was miserable and we got back together.
My advice? If you love him and enjoy being with him, why give it up? Don't count him out. Don't expect that just because you hit a rough patch now means that you aren't meant to be together. People fight, it's completely normal. Especially when you love someone and are so close with someone. My boyfriend and I clash all the time, even over the dumbest and most minuscule things, but it doesn't mean we aren't happy and just because your personality clashes with your boyfriend's means you can't work out.
Maybe you won't end up together in the long run, but if there's one thing my boyfriend himself has taught me, it's to live in the now. Enjoy your time with him now and don't worry about the future. Like my boyfriend always says, "what's meant to be will always find it's way." Every experience in life teaches you something, and this relationship has been and will continue to be a great experience for the both of you, regardless of the long run outcome.
I hope this helps and I wish the two of you the best!
-Laura (18-f)
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It sounds to me like you have a pretty solid basis for a good relationship. Everyone argues now and then. But when you do fight, are they knock down drag outs? Do they escalate to something physical? If so, then it's not a good idea to stay in the relationship. If not, then maybe you can work it out. It sounds like the two of you have been keeping the lines of communication open (having had a 3 hr talk shows this). Communication is one of THE most important skills in maintaining an open relationship. You don't say how old the two of you are. That might play a part in things as well. One thing I did notice is that you seem to be waiting for the other shoe to drop...that is you say you haven't been fighting lately, but you're sure it'll start up eventually. If you are anticipating issues then they're bound to crop up. Try just focusing on the good times you have when you're together and don't sweat the small stuff. I hope this helps a bit. Good luck!
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Hey so I dont think you shuld give up on the relationship. Like me and my boyfriend have been going out since the 8th grade and were in 10th now. We had the same issues where we were just fighting and couldnt seem to get along. We even broke up for a period of time and it was some of the most painful experiences that ive ever encountered emotionally. We felt like we were so young and we were too serious. Like we were married and he just didnt want that anymore. We got too comfortable and forgot what brang us together in the first place. So just really think: Why do I love him? Why does he seem so special? And if we broke up do u think you would be terrified? It all depends on how important you are to each other. Any relationship can make it past this stage if both people are willing enough
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