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No foreplay before sex
20female
So it's really weird but I would rather just have sex then do foreplay. I feel more comfortable having sex then giving a guy a handjob or blowjob. I've actually never given either because I'm scared I'll be bad but I've had sex before. It's actually pretty weird. I'll let a guy finger me and I don't care but I just can't find myself to let me return the favor to them and would rather just get right into sex. Like from making out to sex. Is this weird? I've only had sex twice with the same person ..but I'm no longer talking to him. Would any guy let this happen or would they be turned off that I wouldn't want to please them before sex?
I don't know what to do!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It's all about being comfortable with yourself and your partner.
It's really about honesty and trust.
I know that sounds wholesome, but I actually mean it in a dirty way.
Oral sex, either as stimulation before intercourse or as the complete sex act, is very intimate... in some ways more intimate than intercourse itself because of the selfless nature of it.
I was sexually active for a few years before I performed oral sex on a woman because, like you, I was concerned I wouldn't be doing it right.
When it comes to performing oral sex on a man as a newbie, let me give you some advice from a male perspective.
Let him know you've never done it before, or that you're relatively inexperienced at it.
This can be a great turn on for a guy.
Ask him what feels good, what you're doing that's right or wrong.
This can be really exciting for both of you.
If you're concerned about cleanliness (most of us guys don't keep as clean as most women do down there) ask him to clean.
Believe me, any woman who asks a man to clean himself with the prospect of oral sex looming will run like the wind to the nearest sink and come back cleaner than he's ever been.
Oral sex as a complete act is very intimate and very giving... and for many men can be more stimulating than regular sex.
Afterall, no matter how long we last during regular sex, most men are trying hard not to climax. While receiving oral sex, we are allowed to climax and not fight it, allowing ourselves to enjoy it more.
As far as oral sex just as foreplay, not climaxing, it is a great stimulation before regular intercourse, not just because it's dirty, intimate, and exciting, but also because the suction during oral sex draws more blood to the penis, often making for a more intense feeling erection.
As to your question about would a guy feel insulted because you didn't want to...
No... not if you tell him you don't do that.
The only way a guy should feel insulted would be if you did it for others, just not for him.
Let him know.
I once had a passionate relationshp for several months with a girlfriend who made it very clear at the beginning of the relationship that she didn't do that.
It was never a problem because she made it clear at the beginning and I didn't take it personally.
Had she not made that clear at the beginning, I probably would have wondered after some time why she wasn't doing that and felt insulted.
If some guy feels insulted that you won't do that for him even after you tell him you're not comfortable with that... dump him.
Just like anything with sex... if you're with a guy who wants you to do anything you're not ready to do for him, he's a selfish prick.
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You've stated you've only had sex twice. Give yourself time to feel more comfortable doing other things besides intercourse. You should not feel compelled or forced to do anything you are not comfortable with and your partner should respect that. If you aren't experienced at performing oral sex then of course it will make you unsure of yourself. Relax, take your time and it will develop naturally. Putting so much pressure on yourself will only result in more insecurity. If your future partner gets upset with you then you don't need to be with him. Hope this helps.
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Every guy is different in what they want to get from sex. Some love foreplay, others would just as soon jump right to intercourse. The biggest problem is finding out what a new lover wants or likes.
One thing I believe is that anyone who is interested in a long term relationship or even marriage will also be willing to teach each other what their likes and dislikes are. One of the greatest things about sex is the exploration of your partner. I know you may find it embarrassing at your age to tell a guy you have little experience at handjobs or blowjobs. If he is any type of man he will find this sweet that you trust in him enough to confide in him enough to ask him to teach you how to please him. He should then ask you what you like and ask you to show how him how you like to be touched and licked. If your more clitoral or vaginal.
There is virtually nothing off limits when it comes to sex between two CONSENTING adults as long as both consent to what ever you are doing. As relationships evolve personal fantasies come out. There is nothing wrong with this and if possible the other party should at least once try and indulge the other.
Example: A friend confided to me that his wife felt what was good for the goose was good for the gander and wanted to use a strap-on on him. He felt that was gay. I told him of my feeling about whatever happened between him and his wife was perfectly okay as long as they both agreed. He then asked me if my wife asked me to let her use a dildo on me would I allow it. My answer was I would.
Another couple the husband wanted to try going to a nudist camp. The wife after having two children didn't think her body would stand up to the other women. She finally agreed to going one time. They are now confirmed nudists.
I tell you all this we are born with out guilt or embarrassment, it is something that is learned. We can overcome this when we need to for our best interest. Sex can be so beautiful and rewarding that we should not allow our guilt or embarrassment stand in the way of receiving pleasure. Like everything else in life sexual pleasure is a learned event. Never be embarrassed to ask a lover how to please them. If it is something you have not done before and willing to try,ask them to show you how.
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that's not weird at all.. a lot of girls feel like that. obviously guys would appreciate if you would return the favor but you don't HAVE to. if the guy likes you enough he won't be expecting anything. every guy is different. some may be turned off by the fact that you don't want to please them before sex, but most guys won't turn down sex so they'll soon forget about you not wanting to please them. hopefully you'll eventually find a guy you're comfortable enough with to try those things but if you decide you don't want to then that's fine too.
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