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I miss being single...
To begin with, I love my boyfriend...we always have a great time together and he is my best friend. He's the only guy I've ever done stuff more then kissing with and I've lost my virginity to him (and he lost his to me). This morning I woke up really happy because we had a date last night and it was really fun. But then I checked my facebook, and everyone else updated their status about them hanging out with friends and my best friend sent me a text and said she missed hanging out with me...I'm so confused, because I LOVE hanging out with my boyfriend, I'd rather hang out with him then anyone else, but at the same time I miss hanging out with my friends. I feel like my friends are just like "oh, she's always with her boyfriend now, she probably won't want to hang out with us anyway" and they never invite me to stuff like they used to :( I guess I have been more distant since I've been with this guy, and I miss my friends but I'd still choose to hang out with my boyfriend over hanging out with them...I don't know why but I've been craving the 'single life' lately, even though I'd never break up with my boyfriend, at least not right now. And I don't believe in 'taking a break'...if I ever broke up with him (or him with me), I couldn't ever allow us to get back together because if we can't work out the first time, then we probably can't work out the second time. So what do I do? I feel like I'm torn between my friends and my boyfriend, but I'm not...I'd rather hang out with my boyfriend. Maybe I just like the idea of being more social rather then actually doing it? A lot of times when I used to hang out with a friend, I'd get really bored and just want them to leave so I could be alone...I just don't know what's up with me! I'm so confused :( please help, any advice is appreciated!
Also, if it helps, I'm 17 and he's 18...we've been together for a little bit over a year.
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Well, don't get to hung up over whether or not it's a choice between your friends and your boyfriend. They don't have to be mutually exclusive. Try to find activities that you can include your friends and your boyfriend in. If not, find another way to hang out with your friends. You probably don't hang out with your boyfriend everyday, and if you do, you don't have to to show that you love him. If he trusts you, and it seems like he does, then just say you want to reconnect a bit with your friends and he's welcome to join you if he wants or if your friends want to hang out with just you just tell him girls night out or whichever you like. If you feel your friends aren't inviting you to whatever they're doing, take the initiative and come up with a plan and invite them to it. Whichever you choose to do, though, take it lightly, there's no need to choose one over the other right now.
Also, if it's a case of your friends not supporting you, wrong friends. There are surely friends of yours who have boyfriends or such that you could double date with or other single friends who are willing to be flexible with you in order to hang out with you. Whichever, just take the whole process with ease, don't worry yourself too much.
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You can't choose one over the other. Everything in life requires balance, that includes, friends and boyfriends. Your question is more about time management. Find ways to include them together and seperately. It's important to all relationships concerned, like plants they will eventually die without care. To preserve them all, nourish them all.
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what you can do is get your friends n boyfriend all together have a meeting on what yall should do so you want lose your friends or boyfriend you dont want to habe to pick what you can do is make planes fo him n your friends make up dates and once you do that then you will be ok then if you feel like you just wwant to be wth him and no one else you dont want to be around friends just him what you do is talk to him and see what he has to say on you wanting to spend time with him and only him bt if he is pk wth you hanging wth him and your friends all together and then spen time together wth him alone then have time for your friends again it will all work out for you
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you don't need to feel torn or like you have to break up with him you just need to come up with some way of dividing your time so you give some time with your friends and some to your boyfriend they can be equal it is going to be hard as it sounds to me like he his your first love if i am wrong i am sorry but that is what i did i spent time in the week with my boyfriend/ husband now and then when i wasn't seeing him i spent time with my friends then i even made time to having a me night pampering myself with a nice bath with candle's to make me relax from the stress's of the day
i hope it helps
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Hey girl, I'm in high school too, and I have a boyfriend. Yes, it's hard. Especially when you and your boyfriend are so intimate. Friends may be friends and friendly but honestly, they get VERY boring. It used to be so predictable whenever we'd hang out. Same old stuff, sit on a laptop maybe facebook or upload stupid pics you took to try and look cool. Maybe prank call, eat, watch a movie gossip? Now tell me how that's going to help you later in life. How is any of that significant? I'm not saying to stop hanging out with your friends, but all of the predictable high school hang-outs aren't going to do much later in your life. If they're your true friends they should truly understand how much you love your boyfriend. On the other hand, hanging out with your boyfriend has so much value, especially when you've been dating this guy for a little over a year. That says something, hunny. What you do with him when you hang out now may matter three, four, five years..? If you catch my drift ;) If you don't, i'm hinting towards marriage. Now I'm not saying that you will, but it's something that girls around your age start thinking about after they've been dating a guy for that long. I know that I've always wondered that about my boyfriend I actually wouldn't mind it :) Off topic, lol sorry. But the point here is, If your happiest hanging out with him. Hang out with him. If you think hanging out wit your friends is boring but you still miss them and you still wish that you were included in the group a lil more, than text them more frequently, maybe skype, talk more in school, after school go grab snacks, etc (that helps me). I have this thing where I hang out with my boyfriend on Friday nights and then hangout with my friends on Saturday nights. Then I go to mass with my boyfriend on Sunday's and then grab something to eat afterwards or just hang out. If he can't do Friday's then switch it up and hang out with him on Saturday's and hang out with your friends Friday's. I really hope that I helped, because honestly what your asking is what I'm goign through & my advice is how I exactly dealt with this. Everything's much better!
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i dont think you need to break up with your boyfriend, if you love him. all you need is to balance your relationships, you need to have time for your friends as well as your boyfriend, i know that can be hard, but with the years you'll understand that you need friends too and that you cant make your whole life revolve around your boyfriend. both of you need to have friends and a social life other than just it being you two together. imagine this you and your boyfriends lives are like circles you need to interlock and not overlap, if you know what i mean. so get your own friends and let him have his own friends and every now and then you two can go out on dates, talk on the phone about your day, trust me you'll have so much more to talk about now that u both have a life. and you'll see that this will get you closer to each other and you'll have a healthy relationship, one that is not obsessive (does not revolve around eachother) and that doesnt mean that you guys dont love each other.
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I've been threw the same thing i was with a guy for 2 years and i always hung out with him and seperated from my friends , but when we broke up i didnt have nobody to go to because all my friends stopped talking to me . See my favorite quote is '' Boyfriends come and go , But friends are forever '' And you gotta remember that quote because you dont wanna lose your friends . Start hanging with your friends , Because trust me when you have nobody to go to your gonna be hurt even more , not saying the same thing is gonna happen to you but you never know . Start being more mutual , Hang with your friends during the day and at night hang with ur boyfriend or every week atleast hang with your friends once . I hope this helps u . =]
-Megan
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Your friends are in the mindset that you're busy all the time. So to break that cycle, you need to start asking them to hang out with you at least twice a month or even every Sunday. But make sure you let your boyfriend know that you love being with him but you still really like being with your friends. He may have the same feelings but was afraid to tell you. Hope this helps and good luck.
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You shouldn't feel that you need to take a break from your bf because you want to hang out with your friends from time to time. It's good to stay in touch with friends and family even if you're in a relationship. Having interests aside from any that you have with your boyfriend is important for a well-rounded life. Please don't feel as though you would be ignoring your bf. Perhaps you two can discuss your needs and desires to do things with your friends. Does he have friends that he hasn't been spending much time with? Maybe you can agree that one night a week (or every other week) can be friends night. You can both spend that time with friends doing things that you all enjoy. What you're feeling is perfectly natural. Stop beating yourself up over it. Hope this helps!
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