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dont really know what to do...
im 18/f and he's 19/m
ok, so i have become really really close with the lead singer of a local band. so close that were even travelling to america together. However, when i first saw him a little over a year a go, he was taken. Knowing my boundaries i backed off and i began talking to his friend, and fellow bandmate. Soon i developed a 3 month long crush on his bandmate at the start of last year. Eventually i got over the crush on the guitarist, still having a little 'inkling' so to speak about the lead singer. He and his girlfriend conveniently broke up and we began to talk and open up to each other. It wasn't only till recently that i realised that perhaps he likes me just as much as i like him... We are so much alike its actually scaring both of us, and he's so different to what i'm used to, in a good way.
so anyway, I never told the lead singer, that i used to have a crush the start of last year for his guitarist. Then last night, we were having yet another deep conversation when he brought up that he knew i used to like his guitarist. I asked him how he possibly knew that considering i never told the guitarist i liked him. He didn't answer me and then he says to me. "You were in love with him!" and i was doing my best to convince him that i wasn't in love with his guitarist. He was looking at my youtube videos, and found and old one i put up quite a while ago, a comic i made, where the guy just happened to look EXACTLY like his guitarist. He told me not to lie, so i told him flat out "yes i used to have a thing for your guitarist for 3 months at the start of last year...its all in the past now etc etc" and that my comic pictures were old and not recent. He kept teasing me saying "you were obsessed with him! or your inlove with him!" and i would keep telling him, trying to convince him that i dont at all anymore...
then he wanted to know why i liked his guitarist, what attracted me to him, pretty much what happened in that period of three months that i liked him...i was confused as to why he wanted to know so much about it, but i answered him anyway. Then he says something that is absolutely doing my head in...he says to me "When i get my lisense, and come to pick you up and hang out with me and my friends, im just going to look at greg and go UGHHH." confused as to why he would go ughh i asked him and hes like "I'll tell you one day...." WHAT COULD HE POSSIBLY MEAN?! i dont understand that at all..
and he told me how he wish he never saw that picture i drew of me and his guitarist in my comic. and how he wont be able to think of me the same now...
what do i do? what did he mean? why does he care about it so much?
the last thing i want is for him to think im crazy and obsessive etc etc. :( help.
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I don't think the issue is that he thinks you're obsessive ro crazy. I think the issue is that he's jealous of your past feelings for this other band member and is now thinking he wishes he never pushed you into telling him about it. Very often people think they want to know absolutely everything about their new love interest, until they finally hear something they'd rather not know. If you wish to have one final conversation with him on the subject you could do that. Tell him you aren't interested or in love with the guitarist, that it was just a 3 month crush and you want this new relationship to progress forward. Then after that let it go. No one wants to constantly have to reassure the other party that they love only them and have no feelings for anyone else. Hope this helps! Good luck!
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To me, it sounds like he is jealous of the feelings you once had for his friend. I don't think he things that you are obsessive or crazy or anything. He is just venting his jealousy by teasing you. As for not being able to think of you the same way, I also attribute this to jealously. He is fixating his jealously and anger at the attention you once gave his guitarist (and not himself) on you.
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