Gender:
FemaleAge:
16Member Since:
March 28, 2008Answers:
94Last Update:
August 26, 2012Visitors:
8133Favorite Columnists
Lola
lovestoned
Angie1626
michellemonster
Rachee
Main Categories:
Love Life
Friendship
Mental health
View All
about
hello :)my name is amanda.
i love to give advice, so drop one in my inbox and i'll get back to you right away.
advice
19/f
So yesterday, my boyfriend of a year and a half went to a college that is an hour and a half away. He is a freshman and i am a sophomore that is commuting to a community college. The problem is, the college he is at always has horrible traffic that would make visits really difficult. Both of us have been preparing for this for a while now, and we know that we are going to do whatever it takes to make it work because we love each other more than anything. It's just, yesterday made me really nervous because i barely heard from him at all. And when he finally called me, he was all frustrated because he couldn't find a private corner to talk to me in. I had to rush through the details of my day and so did he, and it left me with a really uneasy feeling. I know it was his first day and he had a lot going on, and things will probably straighten out in a week or two... But for the time being i am absolutely miserable. I am going to try and stay busy this week until school starts, and we even have visits planned soon. I guess I just need advice on how I can start coping with these difficult changes. I am so sick of websites telling me to deal with the fact that it might not work, i know in my heart that it will. I just need a little guidance on how not to lose my mind for these first couple of days haha.
Any advice would be much appreciated!
I'm in a long-distance relationship as well and, like you, I have had a hard time adjusting. My boyfriend went to college six hours away about a week and a half ago and since then it has been very difficult for me not to feel really sad about it.
I'm going to be honest, sometimes communication is hard. My boyfriend has already started his classes, whereas mine don't start until tomorrow. Sometimes it will feel like he's too busy for you, but don't let that plant a seed in your head. The first few weeks are a time of adjustment, and in the beginning it will be rough and hectic, but you'll get into a good routine and things will start to slow down.
For daily communication, my boyfriend and I like to send quick little texts throughout the day. Just something little to let the other know you're thinking of them. Sometimes in between classes he'll give me a call, but we usually have a 30 minute to hour long conversation over the phone at night once a day or so. Skype is AMAZING and it helps a ton. It's nice to see the other person's face. A couple times a week is great. It's also really good for anniversaries/birthdays. It feels like a treat as compared to texts and phonecalls.
Keeping yourself busy is a great idea. I haven't been very busy lately and it just makes it worse when you sit around with nothing to do and think about how much you miss the other person.
The fact that you already have visits planned is great! Instead of thinking about the long term (the fact that you'll be apart the whole school year), try breaking the time up. When I measure the time in between visits as opposed to the time we're apart overall, things are much, much easier to deal with. Breaking it up into intervals of a few weeks makes it feel much more attainable :)
Keep in mind that people (and websites) are not going to be supportive. Stats on long-distance relationships show that many of them do fail. But if you work hard to sustain your relationship and really want to make it work, I believe that you can do it. It's good to remain realistic about it, but that doesn't mean you have to be negative about it either! Keep an open mind and try not to listen to the naysayers.
It does get easier! :)
I really need to find out whats wrong with me. Im almost 17 and ive never had a bf or my first kiss. Not to sound conceited, but TONS of people talk about how "gorgeous" and "nice" I am. Some people WONT even beleive me when i tell them ive never had a bf. I always see these nasty, uglier, RUDE girls get ALL these guys. But ive never even had one. I guess maybe its cuz im shy around people i dont know, but if you talk to me im NOT. Ive became more outgoing and flirted with guys.. but i cant seem to find anyone im actually interested in. I just wanna know what it feels like to have a bf. (I dont just want one to have one.) I feel almost like im missing out on my teen years. Sometimes i even get depressed thinking im doing something wrong. Any advice?
Don't worry, there is nothing wrong with you at all.
I'm sixteen and I've only had a few boyfriends who turned out to be disappointing anyway. I wish that I wouldn't have gone out with them anyway because they were such a waste of time. A lot of boys around are age are only in a relationship for sex, whereas girls want an actual relationship and not just a sex buddy.
Those girls who are rude, nasty, and ugly are thei girls who put out, right? And the only reason why they have boyfriends is because they do so. The guys they're dating probably aren't nice either, are they? And usually after a few weeks or so they break up.
You ARE gorgeous and nice, and somewhere out there is an equaly gorgeous and nice boy waiting for you. So what if you're shy? There are probably lots of boys who go to your school who think you're very pretty and nice, but they're shy just like you are. It's good that you're trying to be more outgoing and flirting with guys more, but look around and find that cute shy boy who always sits in the back of class and try talking to him. Try to build up friendships with a lot of guys, because sometimes a friendship between a guy and a girl can turn into a relationship.
Don't worry about missing out on your teen years, because you aren't. A lot of girls start dating in college. Wait until you find someone who really interests you and then go for it! Don't get discouraged and good luck :)
I'm thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend of 5 months. I don't want to break up with him I just think I need a change it sounds really horrible saying that. I don't know what to do. :(
Can anyone help?
Maybe now you should take some time to think about the reasons why you want to break up with him. Are you happy in the relationship anymore? Is the relationship too stressful? I was in a relationship for six months and I just honestly needed to take a break and be single for a little bit. Maybe that's what you need. Sometimes being in the same relationship for a long time makes you realize what you're missing when you don't have a boyfriend.
Just sit him down and talk to him for a good bit about why you want to break up. You can always be friends after you break up, and who knows? Maybe you'll end up getting back together. Don't worry about staying in the relationship just to keep him happy, because if you're not feeling the same, then what's the point? You'd only be hurting him by prolonging it if you're seriously considering breaking it off.
Breaking up is always hard but I hope it works out! I hope I helped a little, and good luck. It'll all work out. :)
Does anybody know any good songs that help them get through hard times in relationships? Or just songs that are empowering to women and talk about respecting yourself and confidence......my bf cheated on me and music really helps alleviate my stress and make me feel better...i would appreciate your suggestions thank you
Rite of Spring by Angels & Airwaves
Everything's Magic by Angels & Airwaves
(Those two aren't really about breakups but I find them very inspiring)
You Won't Find This by Carrie Underwood
Lessons Learned by Carrie Underwood
Where Were You? by Every Avenue
Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac
Without You by Hinder
Body Bag by Hit the Lights
Details in the Fabric by Jason Mraz
The Middle by Jimmy Eat World
(Again that one isn't really a breakup song but it's a feel-good song)
You'll Think of Me by Keith Urban
Goodbye by Kristinia DeBarge
Extraordinary by Liz Phair
Makes Me Wonder by Maroon 5
Haven't Met You Yet by Michael Buble
(another one of those feel-good songs)
According to You by Orianthi
U + Ur Hand by P!nk
So What by P!nk
Ignorance by Paramore
For A Pessimist I'm Pretty Optimistic by Paramore
I'm Movin' On by Rascal Flatts
When I'm Gone by Simple Plan
White Horse by Taylor Swift
Tell Me Why by Taylor Swift
Should've Said No by Taylor Swift
So basically I just scrolled through my iTunes and picked some favorites. I really hope it helps you and hang in there girl! :)
well theres this guy at my school and i dont know if he likes me it seems like he does but he used to like my friend and i dont want to get my heart broken again and he knows what ive been through with these other guys and i know some stuff about him i seriously dont know what to do what should i do anybody please answer my question i dont want to get my heart broken anymore =*(****
Well don't rush into anything just yet. Try flirting with him more and talking to him more during and outside of school. In the halls and between classes and at lunch at school, and then on IM or over myspace/facebook, texting at outside of school. If he starts dropping hints like majorly flirting or texting you back right away, he might be into you. Try to build up a good friendship with him and see what happens from there. And if it ends up that he doesn't like you, don't get discouraged. There are plenty of guys out there and you WILL the guy for you :)
hey i was just wondering how can u tell for sure that you are ready for sex?
It's really hard to tell. If you really, really love the person, you might be ready. Make sure you're comfortable talking about it, because if talking about it makes you uncomfortable, you sure won't be comfortable doing it. And talk about it a lot with your boyfriend or girlfriend, to make sure that they are comfortable with it too. If you're not completely ready, then don't rush into it because you feel you should or because everyone else is. Have sex when you are fully comfortable and prepared. Use protection to be safe too. :)
i'm 15 and i was just wondering i really think that the male penis is disgusting, i felt my boyfriends through his jeans and cringed in repulsion. i really thought it was gross ya know, is that normal?
i dont really think its abnormal. and it definitely doesnt neccisarily mean you are gay. i myself dont think that a penis is attractive.
however, if you feel as if youre developing feelings for other girls, finding yourself curious of the female body, or finding yourself having feelings for both men and women, you may be gay or bisexual.
you could try talking to someone about it if you feel the need to. i'll also be here for advice if you ever need it [:
Me and this guy like flirt non stop haha, Lets call him Jim. I mean, you can obviously Tell we have a thing. And everyone can see it. Both of us Are just too Afriad to Tell eachother. Anyways, Im not too sure if this is flirting but He always like Wacks me in the stomach or like punches me or stuff just like Fooling around. But i wanna like be Really flity with him, But when he punches me, I don't know what to do, should i punch back? That's what i usually do. Also, I just want to be flirty in general, School is coming to an end i wanna show him i like him without actually telling him. Im extremely shy though, So nothing too intense pleasee! haha thanksss(:
well if he punches you yeah you can punch right back, or like, playfully slap him. or you can pretend you're really hurt like, "ow!! you hurt me! you're so mean!" and then wink or smile to show him that you're kidding.
as for flirting in general, it really depends on what you are comfortable with. really subtle flirting could be like smiling alot or lightly touching his arm or something like that. and then progress onto things like playfully joking or punching him or stuff like that. thats the kind of stuff that you're doing now, which is good. just by spending more time with him and being a bit more flirty, i think he'll get it that you like him. hope i helped!! =DD
good luck =]]]
xoxo
mandyx3
i dont know where to begin or how to begin,
id say im bisexual. but i dont think i totally am
like the full on i like girls thing
but i have this bestfriend, and we've been
through a lot together, and i think i like her.
like, like like her. but then i know im not
totally gay because i have a crush
on this guy. i've known my bestfriend for about
2 years now, we hang out just about everyday!!
and we do just about everything together.
i've been so confused, and i dont want to tell
her because shes always saying how shes not bi
and what not, we talk about it too ( the whole i know im not bi or gay thing ). and i say
the same thing, buh then again she could be doing
what im doing. so i dont know how to find out
the truth without letting her know i like her...
well i would not say that you are bisexual either. in my opinion, i would describe it bi-curious. which basically means that you are interested in being gay and curious about the same sex, but arent fully *there*. like you said, you think that you are bisexual, but you dont think you are on the whole full on girls.
well, maybe it is time to let your friend know that you might be a little sexually confused right now. maybe she is feeling the same way as you are. but you'll never know if you dont tell her. just try talking to her. she is your friend, and she'll love you no matter what. its time to be honest with her. you dont have to tell her right away that you like her, but maybe it is time to let her know. just sit her down and have an honest talk with her.
if you want to find out the truth without letting her know, try looking at her more closely. does she look at you differently? when you guys hug or something like that, does she linger there longer than neccesary? does she even flirt a little but? these are some things thst you should be looking for as clues. also, try asking your friends or her friends about anything she says about you. if she seems to talk about you (in a GOOD way!) alot, then maybe that could also be a clue.
in my opinion though, i think it is best to be honest with her. letting her know would mean not wondering anymore. and it would be a good idea to tell her the truth. at least you will know if you tell her, and if you didnt, you would never know. i hope i helped out and i hope everything works out for the best between you too!!
xoxo
mandyx3
hi i'm 14/f
well i just started going out with this guy lets call him frank.. well i've like frank for a while and he finally asked me out today and i said yes. Well at the begining of the year i had another boyfriend and we weren't very close we went out for 2 months and we didn't even hold hands or hug and i was just wondering wat i could do to make this realtionship better?
I've never really been close with my boyfriends the sorta avoiding them thing..you know?
and so yea i've never done of that stuff never been kissed!
can you help?
thanks
well some relationships are better than others. i was in a relationship with a guy where we didnt hug or hold hands or anything. when we broke up i relaized the reason why we never did any of that stuff is because the feelings werent there. you know? it wasnt a very good relationship because we didnt have those strong feelings for each other, and it never really worked out. i think that you should try to get to know him better once you guys start going on dates and stuff like that. once you guys know more about each other, you will find that things become much more intimate. then since you know so much more about eachother, you will start to get those feelings of wanting to hold hands and hug and maybe get your first kiss with this guy! tell me how everything works out! i hope this helped you =]]
hey i like this boy who is 16. does he likes me. he calls me , he talks to me on the computer. he texts my cell. it doesnt seem he does. he told me he likes me a lil...he wanted me to go to the powerhouse with him but my dad is not letting me go. i told him that and all he said was ok.. but i want to know does he like me ..... i will be on aol if u want to talk...bbj394 is my sn... please help and i will rate u
well he already told you that he likes you a little bit, but you just need to give it time for the relationship to grow. right now i see it as you will become friends first and then it will grow into a romantic relationship. if he talks to you on the phone, on IM and by text, then he is obviously interested. you just need to try to become better friends first to let the relationship grow. try going out to the movies with him and a bunch of other friends, or maybe just ask if you guys could hang out at the movies or at the mall or something. i hope i helped! tell me how it works out!
xoxo
mandyx3
what makes guys like girls? like what do most guys find hot and not?!
Well of course the physical attraction is there, but most guys will love to be with a girl that they can talk to. Someone that they have stuff in common with. Guys love a girl with confidence, someone who knows that she is sexy in her own way. But not slutty. Of course a guy wants someone confident, but someone who is not over-confident. A guy doesn't want his girl flirting with all the boys!! I think that a guy wants a girl who he can trust, and open up to. I hope I answered your question =]]]
When I start to like a guy, I fall really fast and becoming to obsessive in my own mind. I constantly think about whoever it is at the time and I'll start to want to talk to him 24/7. Of course then I get bored quickly and move on to being obsessed with another guy.
How do I stop this annoying cycle so I can just be more chill with guys?
just try to build up friend relationships with guys. if you build up regular guy-friend relationships, you are less likely to obsess over them because you will view them as just friends. so that way, if you do start to like one of them, you will already know how to act around them. you'll be more likely to be calm around them and like them longer. i hope i helped =]]
Last year I discuss my best friend that I am bi sexual and that I have a crush on her. She is fine with it but she doesn’t like me in that way. Because she is unsure of her sexuality and not ready for a relationship (she is still unsure). After the talk we had she and I are still close friends and there were times she will seemed she is flirts or teasing me but I cant tell if it means she fancy me. She leans on me, touch me and close to me. Yesterday she and I and couple of our friends were in my room watching TV. I was on the left side of my bed and she the right. I lay in my head in the middle of the bed as she too. We ended up our heads touching together. I just don’t get why she is so touchy feely to me when she isn’t attracted to me.
just because she is unsure and not quite ready for a relationship, it doesnt mean that she isnt attracted to you. i think that shes also attracted to you, but that it will just take time until it develops into a further relationship. you could try talking to her, or you could just wait for the feelings to grow (because it looks to me like you two will have a romantic relationship in the near future) i hope it works out for you two =]]
I have a friend who recently experienced this problem and I don't know what kind of advice to give her. Her and her bf (of a few years) got into a fight. He called her a bad name (c___), she smacked him and he smacked her back (she said it was pretty hard but that he told her he did it by accident kind of a reaction or something).. He's never hit her before nor does he seem like that kind of guy to me. She's not sure if this should be a big deal to her and while I normally say you should never stay with a man who hits you she did hit him first. What should I tell her? =/
okk to start off with, i dont think that it is acceptable to be called a c___ by your boyfriend. i think that it is just horrible. okk next. no matter what the excuse, in my opinion, it is never okk for a guy to hit a girl. she hit him because he called her a horrible name. he just retaliated. that is not right. and making up excuses such as, "it was just a reaction, i didnt mean to..." is just an excuse and a lie. im sorry, but i wouldnt stay with him.
if she does decide to stay with him, he better PROVE to her that he'll never do it again. it really is not acceptable for a guy to hit a girl, and he needs to know that. so if she does decide to stay with him, make sure he knows what he did was wroong and if it happens again, the relationship is over.
i hope this helps your friend and tell me how it goes =]]
Alright.. I have an amazing boy friend who I've been going out for almost 5 months now, but lately I've developed feelings for another guy. I think about him all the time and he always smiles at me.
Is that normal?
What do you think I should do?
-sigh...
okk well i've had this problem before. i have been going out with my current boyfriend for almost 4 months now. and dont get me wrong, i love him. but, there is this one guy that i just met who i am really starting to like. he's really cute (he has gorgeous eyes)and i really like him. but then when i hang out with my boyfriend, it reminds me of how much i really love him, and why i'm with him instead of the other guy. you just really need to think about it. are you willing to give up your boyfriend for a guy who you sort of like now, and regret it later?? i would wait. you are probably with the right person if you have been dating for five months. the feelings for this guy who you are beginning to like may even be just lust. so stay with your guy. i hope i helped and tell me how it goes =]]
I need an honest viewpoint on this.
Lets say you're a 16 year old girl and you broke up with your 16 year old boyfriend (which is my case). You broke up with him because he's been giving you really obvious hints that he didn't wanna be together anymore. He even said so one time. After a week of breaking up, he sends you a text saying something like: "You're contagious because I cried for no reason last night"
and all of a sudden, you start seeing your ex boyfriend depressed. (he never was before...in fact, he was happy). He tries to flirt with you more... He doesn't eat at lunch...he feels really sad and crappy. He doesnt flirt with girls like he usually did to try and make you jealous. He just sits in your table at lunch and sulks.
If this was your case, do you think he's depressed over the break up?
Thank you
i think that when he was with you he didnt realize what he had and how lucky he was to have u and how much he really loved u. and now that you two have broked up, he really realizes how muchh he misses you. he wants you back, in my opinion. i hope i helped. =DD
i like this kid and he likes me, and we have kissed once before. i need to know how to french kiss for next time we do more than a peck
okk so first you want to lean in really slowly. and dont fully close your eyes until your lips are like a cenimeter away from his. imagine a light dimmer as you are closing your eyes. start out by doing a simple closed-mouth kiss. then slowly open your lips a little bit, and gently go into the tongue phase. just make sure you aren't poking his toungue rougly with yours or anything, and make sure you dont drown him in spit. trust me, once you start french kissing, your insticts will take over and you wont have to worry. dont be nervous!! just remember to enjoy it! hope i helped =]]
good luck!! =DD
lol okay so im a 17/f and umm i added this guy i went to elementary school with on facebook. he's really cute and umm we go to different schools since i moved. b ut yeah.. what should isay to him on facebook because he's so hot and i really wanna talk to him haha. so how should i start the convo?
just be like,
"omg i havent talked to you in forever how have you been??"
and then the convo will just off from there =]]
hope it works =D
Everyone here has been saying "if that's how your partner (boyfriend/fiance/whatever) is then that's who you chose and you can't and shouldn't change them" ... what I'm saying is doesn't that go the same for us women? ... for example: when we started dating he knew i didn't like this or that yet he still dated me. So instead of me trying to change him or him trying to change me.. shouldn't we compromise and make changes ourselves without being asked? When you love someone, wouldn't you climb mountains to make things work?
yes, i do think that you should compromise a bit to make things work. if you really love them, you would do anything for them, right?? besides, i think it really just makes the relationship stronger in the end, because you are showing each other how much you really do love them and would do anything for them, even if that means tweaking ourselves a little bit. i hope that this is helpful =]]