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Advice for my friend
I have a friend who recently experienced this problem and I don't know what kind of advice to give her. Her and her bf (of a few years) got into a fight. He called her a bad name (c___), she smacked him and he smacked her back (she said it was pretty hard but that he told her he did it by accident kind of a reaction or something).. He's never hit her before nor does he seem like that kind of guy to me. She's not sure if this should be a big deal to her and while I normally say you should never stay with a man who hits you she did hit him first. What should I tell her? =/
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I hate it when people wave the "abuse" card. They each escalated the situation and are guilty of gross loss of temper control. Beyond that, its not like they beat each other up over it. And,
Human impulse is to strike back at things that strike you, and to hit harder than they did. Thats what these two did. They both need to learn some self control and they'll both be fine.
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Hey, my name is Faith42 and I think I can help you
It's not RIGHT at all for a man to hit a girl and
call her alwful and hurtfull names. Even though he
called her that name she shouldn't of hit him. She should of talked it over with him. He should of not
of hit her, and should of been a man and apoligized
to her and they should of seprated and cooled off
for an hour.You should tell her it's her dision
and if she feels like it won't happen again let
her do that.If she feels more that it's not right for him to do that tell her to break up with him!
I hope I helped,
Faith42:)
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okk to start off with, i dont think that it is acceptable to be called a c___ by your boyfriend. i think that it is just horrible. okk next. no matter what the excuse, in my opinion, it is never okk for a guy to hit a girl. she hit him because he called her a horrible name. he just retaliated. that is not right. and making up excuses such as, "it was just a reaction, i didnt mean to..." is just an excuse and a lie. im sorry, but i wouldnt stay with him.
if she does decide to stay with him, he better PROVE to her that he'll never do it again. it really is not acceptable for a guy to hit a girl, and he needs to know that. so if she does decide to stay with him, make sure he knows what he did was wroong and if it happens again, the relationship is over.
i hope this helps your friend and tell me how it goes =]]
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Wow. Any time a guy is getting a girl-- it's a big deal. So he says it'll never happen again, and it's her choice to take his word for it. But what's going to happen if he hits her a little harder next time-- leaves marks. This could turn into something really ugly.
In your story alone, there was two types of abused involved. Verbal, and Physical.
So how does she go about it? She's going to protect what he did, because she knows that if she doesn't nobody else will. She needs to evaluate how his reaction was after he hit her. Was he over-sorry? Did he just say sorry, and shrug it off? If he truly is sorry, and means that he will never do it again-- he will work his ass off proving it to her.
Keep me updated!
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She needs to realize that striking him for calling her a name is inexcusable, as is his striking her back. The behavior doesn't surprise me, (How often have you seen this on TV, or in the movies). Why we imitate staged behavior, I will never know, Monkey see, monkey do maybe. Their staying together approves this behavior and validates it, improper behavior must come at a price or they learn nothing. They both need to seek help separately and if nothing else exact their own punishment by staying apart until they know for sure that it will never happen again.
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