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April 10, 2005

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June 18, 2010

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about

HEYYY :D i'm in college and i'm a psychology major. i've had many experiences with boyfriends, crushes, friends and family. i know quite alot about sex and sex related issues, so feel free to ask me anything about that! i will be completely honest because i would want the same in return.

if you drop one in my inbox, please try to be as detailed as possible (like your age & gender) so i can be as helpful as possible :D

advice

i broke up with my boyfriend of a couple months because i couldn't feel that "spark" that i had with my ex. he's soo hot and fun to hang out with and good at hooking up haha but i just can't see myself in a relationship with him. like some things he does just aren't ok with me and i don't want to fight about things i want to enjoy summer and not have to worry. we still hook up so i guess were more of the friends with benefits deal. he really wants to get back together. he is a good kid but we fight alot and he smokes alot, doesn't have a car (so i have to do all the driving), and he's the "bros before hoes" deal. i don't want him blowing off his friends to see me but its the complete opposite, like he would blow me off to hang out with his friends.

do you think i'm doing the right thing or just leading him on?

Only you know if you did the right thing. Do you feel better/happier/freer now that you are broken up? A spark is important, but it's not everything. Sometimes the 'spark' is only in the beginning of a relationship, and sometimes that spark just pops up out of nowhere while you're already in one.

The question about leading him on, is simple. Are you confused about what you want from him? If yes, then that's leading him on. If you are sure you just want to have fun/hookup and be more of the friends w/ benefits, then you have to let him know that's all you want and that's all he's going to receive from you. If he knows that and accepts that, then it's not leading him on because he knows what he's getting himself into. Remember, both parties have to be on the same page! Honesty is key.

A guy That saw me walk buy one day when he came to my job asked his friends for my number. He got it and started texting me, finally he asked me out but wanted me to come to his house I said no and explained why I did not think it was appropiate and told him I'd meet him somewhere for a date. He then got ome and texted me to come to his house again so I just did not reply and went to bed he called me later but I did not answer.
He called me the next day we spoke and then he asked me for a picture I sent it to him and he did not call since. Do you think the main reason he didn't call is because he thinks I am ugly.

I'm sooo glad that you stood by your morals/boundary line. A guy inviting you to his house for a first date (when you two barely know eachother)? That is not right and a tad creepy. I definitely do not think he thought you were ugly, because he did see you before right? So never think that, because he noticed you and asked for your number. This guy was just looking for an easy lay or something. Don't change your morals for anyone, you should feel empowered. Don't worry about it either, if he really wants to see you and likes you, he'll ask you out on a real date.

me and my bf have been together for 2 and half years. I live with him and we are totaly in love. well today my friend called me and told me to check his exs facebook. i do and she put up pictures of them kissing and together these pictures are old but she just posted them the othere day. why would she do that ? it irritates me because he has a issue with her not leaving him alone. Should i tell him that she has the pictures up or let it go. It makes it look like he is cheating on me becuase she just put them up?

I completely agree with the other advicenator. This girl is so obviously trying to make you jealous/angry/irritated, all in one. Don't let this chick get to you, you are with him and happily together, so she wants to destroy that - misery loves company, ya know. If you want to mention it to him, that's ok, but don't be angry about it or make it seem like it really got to you.. you could say "Did you see that [her name] posted old pics of you two? Kinda creepy." And leave it at that, and let him handle the rest, since he is the ex. Don't let anyone destroy what you two have, especially a delusional ex.

I've been with my boyfriend for three years. We are absolutely in love with each other, but of course I've got a couple of complaints. He's not romantic, at all. I've asked him to take me on dates, or go do something romantic for a day, and eventually he may take me on a date (after me repeatedly asking and basically planning it). But he has never done anything like that without me asking. I can live with him not being romantic, but I think every girl dreams of a little romance in their relationship. How should I handle this?

Guys are simple creatures, lol. For right now, you're going to have to ask him to do those kind of things. Let him know how much you want to go on a nice date, and tell him it doesn't have to be all romantic, just a chance for the two of you to be together alone and have fun. Once you do go out on the date, let him know how much fun you're having. Be nice, sweet, flirty and show him that him agreeing to the date was a great idea. Once he sees how happy it makes you, AND how nice you're being to him, it'll connect in his head and he'll realize. It's positive reinforcement. He'll want the same good feelings and good time to repeat itself, so those dates you want to go on will continue. Good luck!

My boyfriend broke up with me two months ago because he stopped liking me as much and just started seeing me as a friend..probably because i was so into him and my whole world revolved around him so quickly and that probably turned him off. Now we are still friends because he likes me a lot as a friend but we are TOO good of friends. We chill every single weekend and sometimes in the week. Sometimes alone but rarely. Sometimes he calls me to hangout and other times his brother will either call me or my best friend and our groups of friends will just all do something together ,so we always are around eachother. During school,i have a class with him and we pretty much only talk to eachother. I'm still crazy for him,but im still there for him to lean back on. So he hasn't had enough time to miss me since he see's me every single day and he even admitted he hangs out with me more than his best friends.I feel as though half the reason we aren't together is because im just so avaliable to him and i want to be harder to get but i don't know where to begin since we are around eachother so much! We only have about 2 more weeks of school and i was going to just wait out those 2 weeks and then when summer starts write him a note ,telling him how i feel and how we cant talk anymore because it hurts me and how i'll miss him,etc. in a nice way...or should i try another approach? help!

Well, it seems you nailed it right on the head. Guys do not like it when a girl is too available. Since the beginning of time, guys love the chase and the challenge of getting the girl. Being friends right away with an ex is never a good idea and never ends well. Someone always still has feelings, and someone always gets hurt, and it may ruin chances of ever being friends OR of ever starting something up again. Tell him that you two should spend some time apart because of everything thats happened. Let him know that you need this time to focus on yourself. Try hanging out with your group minus him. Your friends should understand you need some distance from him, so maybe you can hang out with a few friends from your group and they can split time between hanging out with him and with you (just don't put them in the middle!) Space and time is exactly what you need, please let yourself have that. If a few weeks go by, and he starts getting ansy and misses you, see where it goes and try hanging out with him, but don't say 'how high?' when he asks you to 'jump'.

I met this guy at school a while and we've texted a lot and we've tried several times to hang out, but they all kinda fell through. We don't really see each other that much at school - big school, no classes. About two weeks ago I asked him if he wanted to hang out and he said he didn't really want to anymore. So I figured, okay, whatever, I''m pretty sure he found someone else, but I could be wrong.
Welllll, he texted me last friday and said "so this may seem kinda weird but I miss you."
I was just like... what?? I'm so confused! He said we should hang out this week or weekend (im not sure which he meant). So I said sure and that he should text me sometime this week when he wants to hang out. I said it very clearly, that HE should text ME.
The whole week has passed, and I still haven't heard from him. Maybe he forgot? (it's happened before) Did he change his mind again? I just don't know. Should I text him? I don't want to be desperate or annoying, which is why I haven't. Should I wait until after the weekend, and if I still haven't heard anything, should I maybe text him on Monday?
Other people said he's probably leading me on or wants me 'on the side' of a girlfriend.
I don't know, I don't want to think that, but it might be true. :/
He was always so sincere and kind, and we really opened up to each and had great talks (through txt, but still).
I don't know, I just really have no idea what to do... I'm really confused by him

I think you should start listening to the "other people" that keep trying to tell you. From what you have said, it seems like they are right. I've had my fair share of guys flip flopping day to day with their feelings. It never turns out good. This guy just wants you to be there whenever HE wants you, or wants to hang out with you. Don't let him get into your life like this. A guy that truly, really likes you.. makes the effort. If he liked you and wanted to hang out with you, he'd text or call you, no doubt. This guy is just one of those everyday jerks you need to avoid. You might be too close to the situation to see it, but as someone looking from the outside, I know how you're feeling and I know how this situation ends. Don't text/call him at all, it'll only add to your frustration. If he decides he really wants you, let him come to you.

18f.

so my birthday is next week .. yay! :) there is this guy who i've always had a crush on but we're just good friends right now. well he can never remember my exact birthday for the hell of it. he remembers the month and around the day but never the exact date hah .. boys! well my cousin always reminds him like did you remember to text sam for her birthday? this year I don't want to just be like .. thanks when he texts me. i kind of want to say something like .. "thanks for remembering .. or did nate remind you (my cousin)" something so i could maybe talk to him for a little bit and be a little flirty at the same time. any suggestions? thanks!

There's just so much that you could say...
If it were me, I'd say something along the lines of:
"oh you actually remembered this time? niiiicee"
something like that or...
"wow i'm impressed you remembered!"
Whatever you decide to say, keep in mind to keep it short and sweet! Don't say like more than one question or line. Hopefully he responds back and you can keep the convo going!

So I went to prom with my friend and it was kind of just a let's go together thing. And so we went and we ended up dancing and grinding together the wholenight and during the last slow dance we kissed. Nothig major just a simple kiss but he's not a player or anything so it's not like he does that a lot. Then after the song ended we walked back to the table he kept his hand on my back and everything and the next day we like held hands and stuff. And like we've talked since then so it's not awkward or anything but I was just wondering if I seems like I could have a chance with him because I do like him but I don't know if it was just a whole prom thing.

I would agree with the other advicenator. It's more of a "see how things go" kind of situation, rather than a "tell him how you feel right away". You don't want to bring it up or tell him you like him, because he might not know how to react. It deff seems like something is going on between you two, so keep flirting and hanging out and maybe something more will develop!

Also, he might have used the whole prom thing to get closer to you & to use an excuse. For example, if you came and asked him "what was that kiss all about?" he could easily come back with "oh, it was just prom and we were dancing.." as to not look stupid or anything. He might have used prom as his excuse, ya know? It was smart of him! lol But the outlook looks good :)

(19F)

Last night I stayed at my cousin's house with her and her boyfriend. I have been in a relationship for almost 4 years and just recently met another guy. This new guy is amazing. Well, last night he came over to where I was staying and we hung out. We ended up going to get some drinks and when we got back we fooled around in his truck. Later on, after my cousin and her boyfriend went to bed and we ended up having sex. He stayed with me almost all night and I thoroughly enjoyed what we did, but this morning when I woke up I was feeling regret.

I want to stay with my current boyfriend, should I tell him what happened or should I leave it alone and just move on?

Thank you

As I have heard from many sources and people: Do not tell him.

I'll explain.... When this happens, you have to assess the situation (as it seems like you have done already). Think things through. Do you love your boyfriend? Do you want to stay with him? Do you see a future with your boyfriend?
And the more intense question to ask yourself - Why did I do this? (or What made me do this?) This might take time to answer. Once you know why this happened, you can come to the right conclusion of whether you definitely want to work things out with your current boyfriend or you don't want to stay in the relationship. Mistakes happen, it's human nature. There is no reason to bring this world of hurt onto your boyfriend if you are POSITIVE that it will not happen again. 4 years is a while, and change (like a new guy) can be thrilling and desirable, there's no shame in that. You just have to decide what you want for yourself, and do it. I know you might be feeling guilty and telling him everything will make you feel better, but it will ruin the relationship forever and will not be the same no matter what you or him do. Let go of the regret and guilt, and work on being a better girlfriend, and showing him you love him.

me and my boyfriend have been together a little over a year and 4 months. hes 18 and im 17. he jus recently like 2 or 3 weeks ago started night school. well today he uploaded a couple of pics on myspace and they are of him and 2 girls from school. there not touching there like sitting next to eachother like in class. but one pic one of the girls is wearing his hat. im not sure if im over thinking which i happen to do alot. but i remember how he used to post all these pics of him and these 2 girls that lived by him and him with a couple of his friends that are girls. hes one of those guys that every girl likes and he has a bunch of friends that are girls., but im like 99% sure he wont cheat on me. but lately alot we been fighting and getting into arguments and stuff so i been trying to stop acting all the way i been i kinda blame me cause i overthink way to hard about things that dont matter to him. i used to have a whole album on myspace of me and a buncha different guys and he never said anything about it cause to him it was just pictures. nothing more. and im not sure if im just over reacting like how i always do. someone please help me./ i dont want to mention anything to him cause it will jus cause more problems. he already thinks i dont like him having friends. =[ please help thanks in advance

I don't know if you know this, but boyfriends/guys do this sort of thing to get under your skin. He's doing it because..... HE WANTS IT TO GET TO YOU ! He knows you'll see the pictures and get jealous. The best way to react to this, is to not react at all. Show him you could careless, and that his (girl)friends don't bother you a bit. He'll soon realize that his tactics to get you jealous/mad are not working, and he'll probably stop. I've had a boyfriend who was the outgoing, funny type that had many girls that were friends, and yes, it deff got to me and I know how you feel. I wouldn't mention anything to him though, just let it slide. The only reason to get mad or when it is time to speak up, is IF the pics start getting inappropriate and make you uncomfortable. Try letting the small things go, and don't get mad and you'll see the arguments lessening. You guys have been together for over a year, don't let petty things ruin what you have and don't get bothered by random girls, be strong and confident.

me && my ex boyfriend have broke up, we broke up last year after 3 months, then 3 months later we got back togehter....we got back together when he saw me in the mall, we got talking && i told him i had just gotten back from a holiday with some friends && he said he knew, he had heard from other people etc. he noticed that a lot of things in my life had changed...got a new job...etc. do you think thats what drew him in? the fact i had done different things and he wanted to be a part of it?

Most likely. Guys get bored easily, and end up breaking up with girls because of the same old, day after day, and things become routine. When he saw you and heard all these new things, he was probably very surprised, curious and a tad jealous he was not involved at all. When guys see something new, fresh and exciting, they want it. The same with electronics! lol They always want the new game system! He saw that not only things in your life had changed, but you have, and you were doing very well. Guys are drawn to positivity and radiance. He saw that you weren't all depressed and wrecked over him, and going on with your life normally, he was probably shocked and it deff drew him in.

i was like my ex boyfriends first for everything.we had sex (it wasn't my first time but it was his ,yes i know i should have saved sex til marriage..etc.) i was his first REAL girlfriend ,he told me im the best girl he's ever been with,everything! He was so innocent too.We've only been broken up for less than 2 weeks and he just broke up with me randomly,because he felt as though he wasn't liking me as much because we were together so much and he started seeing me as a friend.but he still said im the most amazing girl ,and im cooler than any girls he's ever liked and i actually meant something to him.All his friends told me that he talked about me all the time and he really did like me.For the last two weeks,ive thought about him like crazy.the day after our breakup, three of my friends saw him and said he was sad. Ive been sad for the last 2 weeks,and i gave him a sincere letter and he told me "it was a deep nice letter but he wants to be friends.."
We've been talking in school a little bit because we have a class together and he texts me only when he needs something..yet i havent been doing favors for him and i usually just blow off his questions in the texts.It's hard to believe that one day you can kiss someone,call them baby,cuddle with them ,etc.then break up with the person and get over it so fast.I havent texted him first or talked to him first,but i can't stop thinking about him and i just have this feeling that he isn't even thinking about me at all.How long could it take for him to realize he's made a mistake?!

That's the thing about the "dumper" of a relationship. The "dumpee" (the person who obviously is not the dumper) is completed blindsided by the break-up, because they think everything's fine and going along okay.. but the dumper has had the time to get over the relationship. The odds are, that he's been feeling that way for awhile and he just broke up with you now, so basically, he's had alot of time to get over it, while you on the other hand, have not. Believe me, I know. It's like a slap in the face, and then you see your ex and wonder how can be okay about it while you're confused and hurt.

Listen, you can't convince him that he's made a mistake. You have to go on with your life, and if he realizes it, then great. If not, then that's okay, because you'll be fine ! You don't want to be the stalker pyscho ex. You're doing a great job of not texting him or talking to him first, because he wants to talk to you, he will. Give him some space, and while you do, hang out with friends, flirt with other guys, go on with your life. It's always a possibility he will realize he loves you still, but don't let that control your life.

Aight. Im fourteen (girl) my bf is sixteen (boy). Haha, so we've been dating for almost six months, and I love him to death but it seems like things are kind of fizzled... Like we still love eachother and our feelings are strong, it just seems... off... I can't even explain it. It's like its just not new.. It seems like when we hang out we just result to the physical stuff everytime to keep things interesting, for the moment... We've hit third base (but no oral) and I probably won't hit oral or anything past. But I don't wanna spice things up like that anyways... He doesn't like the whole cutsie note and gift leaving thing and nor do I... I just want it to be fun and new and exciting again. How do we do this??

First, I want you to know this is perfectly normal. In relationships, things tend to hit a boring spot. Things become routine, and not exciting. The way I used to deal with this with past boyfriends, is go somewhere new, or try something new (not sexual!). Go somewhere neither of you have been before.. maybe a new restaurant or place to hangout. I know, this idea might seem sorta weird and stupid, but it works. It brings conversation and curiousity, since you are both trying or going somewhere new and different. It spices things up, and really helps a relationship. Maybe an interesting museum, or go to a diff town or city thats not too far. You could even ask him to pick to go somewhere neither of you have been. Hope things work out!

17/f

so I fell in love with this guy, Zack. Long story short... He is my boyfriends friend and we liked each other. We hung out a few times and after a few months with him, I know i love him. And I know it's wrong to date someone but love another person. I don't need the speech. But something just hit me about Zack. I really do love him. I care about him a lot and I CANT get him off my mind.

In January, Zack decided to act like a jerk and ignored me for a month. During that whole month, I couldn't get him off my
mind. I sent him so many texts and calls. But he still ignored me. Then in februrary he finally talked. He told me that he has been ignoring me because he knew it wouldn't work out. (there's a 2 year age difference). When I asked him if he loved me, he said a little bit. There's less communication. We talk like 2 times every week. And he always gives me 1 word answers. It's better than nothing right?

Anyways, I don't know what to do. I want to get over him because I know he's not worth my time. And he's only going to make everything worse. But how do I get over him. I've never felt this way about a guy. He won't get off my mind.. I love him so much.

I semi don't want to get over him because I want to fix things with him. Even if we were just friends. But friends are even working right now because he still doesn't talk to me as much and he just seems so uninterested sometimes. Other times he will laugh and smile (but still 1 word answers). So it's not like he's completely rude to me and stone cold. Sometimes he's nice, other times he says I bug him. I tried asking him what can I do to fix it, but he just says idk.

But I kinda already know that he doesn't want me and it won't work if I just want it.

What do I do??

3 words - let it go. I know it might seem harsh, but I really wish someone told me that straight up when I was still in love with my ex years ago, calling him all the time and wanting to just be near him. If you were someone else, reading what you just wrote.. what would you think/feel? What advice would you give this girl? I'm SURE you would say that she needs to move on and let this guy go, once and for all. Calling/texting him is not helping you, it's just hurting you and ruining ANY chance of having a friendship with this guy later on. He probably thinks you're annoying, because trust me, I was annoying way back and his guy friends told me that he thought I was psycho! Imagine what he says about what you're doing. Cutting off communication is the first and biggest step. Do not talk to him, call him, text him, etc. You will never get over him if you don't, end of story. From what you say, he does not want to work things out. His word one answers? Well, they speak volumes. He's not interested anymore. Why would you want to waste your time on this guy! He might be amazing and the one guy you've loved, but it's over. We can't force someone to love us, or like us, or to take us back. I don't understand why you even let him tell you you bug him.. that should have been the last straw. Take a deep breath and realize you are too good for this, you deserve someone to think you're perfect. You deserve so much more than one word answers and on/off communication. Tell yourself that it's time to dust yourself off, and leave him in your past. Life's short, so love someone who will love you back.

Hey, first of all thanks for taking the time to read my question and give feedback :)

I have been hanging out with this guy and I recently told him that I liked him and he said back "I really do like you but I need to take a break from dating right now. We can still hangout though. If I didn't take a break then it wouldn't be fair to you or to me." (He recently broke up with his girlfriend in December, I believe.) I told him that I appreciated his honesty and telling the truth. He's very sweet and I do like him an awful lot and so I was just wondering what you thought. If what he said meant that there is a chance that we would end up getting into a relationship, but he just needs time for himself right now. I also know that you can not push someone into being in a relationship if they are not ready to be in one so I don't know if there was anything I could do/say to let him know that I would wait around until he was ready. I'm not talking waiting months and months but for a little while because like I said, he is awfully sweet and I do like him, a lot.

Thanks for the help :)

ps: i am 19/f and he is also 19.

It's a real tough situation. I've been told that, I've had friends who have come to me that have been in that situation too.. where the guy says "I really like you.. BUT, I'm just not ready to date or be in a relationship."

The tricky thing is, he could be completely honest and really like you OR he could just be brushing you off and just wants to play the field and not be tied down at all. The best advice I can give you, is to just play it cool. Like you said maturely, you can't force someone into a relationship. Be cool about the situation, and le things happen. Waiting around for him is not the best choice, and I mean that in a way.. where if another guy comes into the picture and you brush him off because you're waiting for this guy.. Go along with your life. Hang out with him if you want to and be friends, be flirty, but don't.. and I really stress DON'T.. let yourself be ths guys hookup chick. He doesn't just get to fool around with you, and then leave, no questions asked, because he's not tied down. Flirt with other guys, date other guys even.. and this guy might start getting jealous and realize "I really don't want this girl dating anyone but me!" If he tries to play the card "Aren't you going to wait for me?" or something like that, just casually say "We'll see what happens and how things go." It lets him know you're independent and not to be walked all over.

Heyy!
i'm a freshman in high school and since my school is really small, the senior boys date some of the freshman girls. So when i found out that this guy nick was intrested in me i was speachless because it was way to good to even believe cause he's the football captain of the varsity team, and best looking in the school. He was a senior gym leader for my friend sarah and he asked her for my number. ever since that we started talking he came over a couple of times, worked out together, and went to see movies. but last weekend, i invited him over to relax and watch a movie and he was saying that it sounded good cause he was still working and was going to come over after work. SO an hour later he says to just tell my parents that he's taking me out for ice cream. (he really wasn't)but i agreed. Anyway when i got in his car i questioned him why he changed plans and he said he had to pick up a couple of friends at a party so he only had half hour. After we were done hanging out he texted me back "i miss you already!" we stayed talking for an hour then my last text sent to him was "that's too bad im not going to be in town for valentines day" and he never texted me back afterwards. The next week he was dancing with the girls dance team for the school pep rally and looked up and smiled at me during the dance mabe about 5 times. but it just bothered me that he was dancing with another girl. I seriously don't even know if i should just forget about him and move on or what? cause it honestly looks like i'm a booty call? Could you mabe give me some advice?
Thankyouu!
-mandy

Well, there are ways to tell if you're just a 'booty call' or someone he is sincerely interested in. (I hope you're not having sex just yet though! hah hold off a bit with that!)

When a guy sees a girl as a fling/booty call, there are signs. He won't talk about personal issues, he won't introduce you to his friends/family, he won't want to meet your family, he'll call every once in awhile out of nowhere instead of everyday or every other day, ad he won't be interested in what you have to say - for example, he won't ask about your family/friends, he won't want to hear stories about your life, he just won't seem interested in your personal life and he'll just be very nonchalant.

I would think about all this.. do you think you're overreacting? From reading what you wrote, and as an outside person looking in, it seems like this guy likes you.. but just doesn't want to move it so fast. So keep is casual and relax. Guys like to feel a girl out (figuratively) and see how she reacts to situations.. they like to see if a girl is psycho-stalkerish, if a girl gets jealous easily, if she gets along with his group, etc. The text msg thing is not a big deal, guys never know how to respond! If you want to text him, then do it.. but in a casual way, cute way. I know I'm writing alot, but I just want you to understand what I'm trying to explain... The bottom line is, it seems like he's interested. Just take it easy and don't get stressed over the small stuff! Let things flow and it'll work out.

16/f.

The other night I was at a party and so was my ex-boyfriend. We'd hardly seen each other in a year but he's still very important to me and I care about him very much (was also my first love). Anyway, although we basically never speak anymore, we were both really drunk and upset about different things, & we were on our own & having a heart-to-heart, then we both started crying and were comforting each other. Then just suddenly we started making out & had our hands all over each other etc. It was mutual, neither one of us leaped on the other or anything.

After a while, we realised what we were doing and he told me to go. A friend of ours was stirring things up and trying to convince the other that the other was still in love with them.

I think we drunkenly agreed that it was just a drunken mistake but I'm not sure. I want to talk to him because I really care about him and want for us to be friends again but I think it's all messed up and awkward now.

So my question is, should I message him explaining that it was just a drunken thing and I don't have any feelings for him, despite what the other friend was saying, so it won't be awkward? Or is that making too big a deal out of it? And if I should, should I also say that I'd like it if we could be friends and that I'm here if he wants to talk, or is that a bit inappropriate and taking it too far?

I'd really appreciate your help, thanks x

I would just be very laid-back about the situation. If you're set on messageing him, (which it sounds like you really want to) then be cool and sweet about it. Even joke around a little, if you want. Say something like "I hope things are okay between us, and there won't be any weird awkwardness =\ since the other night was a littlee crazy. I just wanted you to know I'm here if you ever want to talk or whatever." It lets him know you're not being weird/awkward and opens the door for him. If he does respond, that's great. Be a friend and be cool about it all. If he doesn't, atleast you made the decent move to explain your feelings a bit. Just let it go and don't try and message him again.

14/m

This Saturday(Jan 23) i have my first date with a girl. We're goin to see a movie, and i need any advice for my first date, this will be her second date as she went out with some other guy. Neither of us has kissed anyone.

So any advice would be great thanks :)

Ah, this made me smile. I can only tell you to relax and be yourself. Us girls know when a guy is nervous, so it deff shows. Be yourself and don't be nervous. Let things flow, and ask questions about her (before the movie!) but also give her some of your input as well. Don't be shy, tell her about yourself (if you already know eachother, tell her more so she feels closer to you). If a kiss happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it's not the end of the world, there's always the second date, right? :) Let things happen.. don't force a kiss. Going with the flow is the best thing to do on a first date. When you see her, give her a hug and tell her she looks really cute. Oh, and don't over or under dress! Dress casually, jeans and a nice shirt would do just finee. Good luck!

Me and this guy have been talking and hanging out and im pretty sure he likes me because he kissed me etc. But he always texts me saying "hey whats up" etc but like he talks a little bit then he just kinda doesn't say much and i have to keep the convo going.Like I will type a whole paragraph and he will say " haha oh nice : )" or something similiar and i usually just dont respond and then he will text me later and the same thing will happen.Why do guys do this?!

Some guys (mostly teenage guys) are not great texters! This is deff normal. They for some reason, never text anymore than a sentence and it's like a miracle if they text 2 sentences. Do not take this as personal or that it's your fault. Guys don't really know how to respond to some things so they just think quick and text "oh cool" or even just "haha". They don't want to convo to just drop dead so they think by texting atleast SOMETHING that will keep it alive and you'll text back. It seems like he is interested in you because he texts you alot and always asks whats up. Maybe you could tell him one time "im exhausted from texting so much, just give me a call if ya wanna talk" or something along those lines. Don't get frustrated about this though, it's just the way most guys are.

ok. i'm a sixteen year old girl and my boyfriend is eighteen. we've been together for 15 months. well it will be 15 months tomorrow! we've been having sex since april (seven months ago). he usually doesn't last long enough for me to finish so i was wondering if there was some way, that doesn't involve pills or medicine that will help this problem. thank you!

This used to happen to me alot.. well, not me, ex-boyfriends I had lol. Young guys, in the teenage area, sometimes early 20s, they usually can't last that long. The hormones are raging and as soon as they're getting "lucky" they tend to get over eager and excited and last sometimes for 5 mins, sometimes even less. When I was younger, my boyfriends that were around 18, 19 did not last more than 10 mins. It's normal, but the best suggestion I can give is to have alot of foreplay.. good half hour of that and change positions frequently. Changing positions (I've read) has been the number one cure for guys that finish quickly since he can't stay in the same mode, since you guys are changing every few mins or so and he'll last longer. Hope that helps :)

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