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boyfriend dramuh
Aight. Im fourteen (girl) my bf is sixteen (boy). Haha, so we've been dating for almost six months, and I love him to death but it seems like things are kind of fizzled... Like we still love eachother and our feelings are strong, it just seems... off... I can't even explain it. It's like its just not new.. It seems like when we hang out we just result to the physical stuff everytime to keep things interesting, for the moment... We've hit third base (but no oral) and I probably won't hit oral or anything past. But I don't wanna spice things up like that anyways... He doesn't like the whole cutsie note and gift leaving thing and nor do I... I just want it to be fun and new and exciting again. How do we do this??
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You move to the next step of relationships, sharing things.
Things aren't new forever. Its inevitable, the newness always wears off. And when it does, its important that there are things there to replace it. This is where friendship, love, shared interests, and sex take over.
The couples that stay together are the ones who are basically best friends who have sex. When you hit the truly adult relationship area (like thinking about settling down with a mortgage adult) things work a little differently. Your partner is not supposed to be the source of your new and exciting life experiences, they're the person you go out and share new and exciting life experiences with.
Its a choice. You can't get back the honeymoon phase, but you can move past it to something just as good (if not better). If you aren't ready for something that serious (which is just fine at your age) that just means you should date around some more and not necessarily only date the one guy.
Sometimes the excitement wears off and there's nothing else to go on, and in those times its better to recognize that its not going anywhere and break up before you start fighting.
Take some time. Think about it. Do you want to get serious with this guy, or do you find yourself looking around? If you aren't feeling serious, then don't be serious. You're 99.999% not likely to marry anyone you date right now (and the same percentage chance that it would be a mistake if you did) so just date around a bit. Spend time with different guys and see what you like about guys you're with, what kind of people you mesh well with and don't.
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First, I want you to know this is perfectly normal. In relationships, things tend to hit a boring spot. Things become routine, and not exciting. The way I used to deal with this with past boyfriends, is go somewhere new, or try something new (not sexual!). Go somewhere neither of you have been before.. maybe a new restaurant or place to hangout. I know, this idea might seem sorta weird and stupid, but it works. It brings conversation and curiousity, since you are both trying or going somewhere new and different. It spices things up, and really helps a relationship. Maybe an interesting museum, or go to a diff town or city thats not too far. You could even ask him to pick to go somewhere neither of you have been. Hope things work out!
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