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August 9, 2006Answers:
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I love to give advice and help people. I never think any question is too stupid or small, even if it's been asked a million times. Honestly, it's better to ask than remain in the dark. Some of my favorite quotes:
"People who ask our advice almost never take it. Yet we should never refuse to give it, upon request, for it often helps us to see our own way more clearly."
-Brendan Francis
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."
-Erica Jong
advice
okay, well this is a long and confusing story. this guy broke up with his girlfriend and started to like me, i had a boyfriend... so i go over this guys house and we hook up, so i dump my boyfriend, then he tells me he dosnt want a relationship even though he liked me? wtf. so he asks me to hook up with him agian at an upcoming party but i dont instead i hang out with a shy guy the whole time and alot of girls like him. it was nice he put his arm around m [possible] we were wrestleing and i guess he just kept it there, so i sleep over the girls house and she tells me that the guy who wanted me to hook up with asked her too. thanks alot? so im like whatever im done with it. but now this other guy is too confusing and i can't tell if he likes me.
Obviously the guy just wanted to hook up with anyone, that is why you should truly get to know someone before going out with them and dumping your boyfriend over him. With this other guy...get to know him before doing anything with him and make sure that he actually wants a relationship if that's what you want as well.
I REALLY like this guy. [lets call him Frank] I've known him only for about a month or so but we talk alot [on myspace, rarely on the phone] and his friend told my friend that he liked me and my friend told his friend that I liked him too. [sry if that was confusing] So, I was happy and figured that if we both liked eachother that we would go out soon. That was about 2 weeks ago and then 'Frank' was talking to a different one of my friends on myspace and I don't know the whole convo but he told her that he didn't like anyone at the moment. I'm really confused, I really like this guy and I would have already asked him out or something but one of my biggest fears is rejection and i couldn't handle it if he said no. We've only hung out twice [he lives about 30 minutes away from where I do so its kind of hard to hang out] but a week ago I asked him if he wanted to hang out again sometime and he said yeah but not that upcoming weekend but maybe the next [whick would make that this weekend] we haven't really talked about it after that and tomorrows Friday. I'm just wondering, how do I ask him (again) if he wants to hang out without sounding desprate or something like that? Like, how would I word it?
thnx so much.
Just call him up and ask him if you're going to hang out or not. If he told you he wanted to, then there is nothing wrong with you asking again- it doesn't seem desperate. And plus it shows you actually WANT to hang out with him. And I suggest calling him, because you should get comfortable talking to him- online can be sometimes misleading. I know that was a big mistake in one of my relationships. In person is always better.
Everyone is saying that i cant like daniel radcliffe because i never met him! ive read everything about him that i could find and they keep saying that i need to find someone else who dosent ride horses naked...its making me really mad. im about to cry right now. everyone at school is all like " how do you know that your really in love with him if you have never met him?" everyone is making me mad. please dont say that this is just a teenage crush because it isnt. and please dont say that i cant because ive never meet him, im sure you love someone that youve never met. and if i sound mean in this letter, its not your fault, im just really mad right now. please give me some help!
Shelby
Honestly, you can't truly love someone you haven't met. I know what it's like to really like a cleberity,I did when I was younger, and look up stuff about them constantly and feel like you know them- but you don't, because you don't know how they REALLY are. I don't think those kids are right for making fun of you, just don't talk about it as much to those people. I know it may not be what you want to hear, but it's the honest truth.
ok so this boy is going to ask me out and i always feel like sick in my stomache when i think about it.... how do i get over these nervs..... and when we are dating again how do i get over these nervs??!?!?! thanx
Time. Just breathe and relax, but nerves will always be there. They just lessen over time. But sometimes, it makes things more exciting so when he asks you out, just try to be calm and cool.
i really hope you can help me.
well im 13/f and about 3 guys have liked me in my life. One goes to my new school. i thought that here (my first year) i would meet a guy and we would both like eachother and he would ask me out (no guy has asked me out before) and i somewhat got my wish. This guy evan at first i didnt even know his name and he would always talk to me and then he started to grow on me. we would stare at eachother, he would walk to class with me, help me with my things, flirt, ect and still does. SO i really thought wow this is it hes the first guy and i really wanted him to be my boyfriend. He's sweet and cute and smart. Now yesterday everything was going great untill he asked out a girl his guys convinced him to ask out because she liked him and she said yes. So i got mad at him and he tried to talk to me at the end of the day and i just told him leave me alone, i dont want to talk to you, dont bug me, ect. And all of a sudden i just feel so overwhelmed and i didnt know why. I called my mom and i asked if she could pick me up because i just didnt have the energy anymore and i just got so tired and i felt so stupid for actually believing that he liked me and how i wasterd all my time and i just cried and i didnt know why and i didnt know if it had to do something with Evan. I dont know if im ugly. People will come up and tell me, "O you are so beautiful" or your to cute. and im not a nerd i have tons of friends, im nice, im smart, i dont try to hard, im myself, im a fun person, party girl, maybe a little boy crazy but i just feel somthings wrong with me. dont know what. Most of my friends have had a guy ask them out before and they talk about it and i cant say anything. I really liked this guy and he just messed my feelings or somehting i wanted my first kiss too and he literally just breaks my heart. i know its wimpy to cry over a guy but out of all my crushes i really like him the most. its just something about him that makes him different. I have no reason to go to school because i just loved spending time with him. And yea we'll talk but (like today) but its just not the same.i cant do anything i used to do with him because everything i thought was a lie. i dont know what to tell myself. this is really starting to drive me crazy! You cant imagine how much i thought he liked me. Even some of my friends (recently) thought he liked me too. So what should i do?? I dont know. im 13/f. Thanks for your help.
Alright, well first I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong wtih you from what you've described. You're only thirteen, and boys your age do stupid things. If he just asked her out because his friends told him to- well do you think that's going to last? I know it hurts, but just try to better yourself because of it. Don't give up, because that's what many girls do. Just because a boy doesn't ask you out doesn't mean there is something wrong with you, hey it doesn't even mean he doesn't like you. Guys that age are usually too afraid to ask out girls they actually like. and there is nothign wrong with not being asked out, I didn't get asked out truly until I was 16. And it wasn't even that great then. It seems like you truly want something special, and usually that only comes when you're NOT looking for it, so in the meantime don't give up just because of one guy- study in school, do things to better yourself. you have a LOT of time to find boys, and when they mature a little you'll see how much better it is. While you wait, jsut work on yourself, being with someone is only great when you love yourself too. I used to think that was cliche, but when I went out wtih my first boyfriend, I didn't have much self esteem so I could hardly manage to take care of another person too. Just take time for yourself, and see what happens. who knows, another great guy may come your way and ask you out, but trust me, you have a lot of time, and there is NOTHING wrong with you.
I go to math lab to see all my friends. and there's this guy who goes there to hang out with me and my friends, his name is Ryan. He is really charming but not as good looking. anyways, my friends told me that he likes me (because ryan told them). I found it kind of obvious. You see the problem is one of my friends Alison who is there likes ryan, but he doesnt like her at all. and one of my other friends Sam doesnt like alison because they think she is annoying. Even though I just wish she wouldnt be there. She just comes for Ryan. And I kind of like ryan. he told my friends that he likes me and he thinks im really cute and stuff. But I dont know what to do. Today he was acting really bored around me. Im not so sure if I should go out with him. Hes got a great personality but sometimes I see the weakness in him. What should i do about him? And alison? and what should i do because whenever i talk about a guy he always questions me. OMG what the heck should I do about this huge mess??
I was in the same situation almost. First thing you have to consider- how MUCH do you like him? Enough to possibly hurt your friend and lost that friendship? Enough that you could make a real relationship work? Sometimes we want something because other people want it, I mean you say he's not "as good looking" and you see the weakness in him, so do you really want something with this guy? Sometimes you just have to wait until you really really like someone before just going out with someone just because they like you. Depending on your relationship with Alison, you have to consider what you're willing to risk for this boy?
ok, so well im in a deep situation
i think that i might like my friends brother but hes in the 11th grade and im in 7th. he seems nice and hes really cute, idk, like ive told my friend that i think that her brothers hott but not that i like him cause i dont want him to find out and i dont want her parents to find out either, it would be just to aquirred(how ever you spell it) but i like him so much, everytime i go over to her house i feel like im always lookin in the mirror just to make sure i look good, hes single but my mom would kill me if she found out i was dating him when hes like 3-4 years older than i am. i guess my ? is what do i do???
PLEASE HELP ME!!!
thanks
=]
Sometimes it's just nice to have someone to look at and to hope for, but sometimes it's nice to leave it at that. I suggest you just wait and see what happens, if he brings up anything, then think about what would be best for you and your friend and your parents. boys don't always last forever, and you're only in 7th grade, so you have a lot of time. Make sure that you don't hurt your friend if anything DOES happen, and that you don't get in trouble with your mother for it. I suggest now you just leave it as eye candy, and that hopeful wishing (plus, sometimes that is much nicer than something actually happening).
13/f
alright well i like these two guys (we'll call them bob & joe). i like them both a lottt. let's explain my problem here..
bob has a girlfriend. but he kind of acts like he might like me. i dont know how to explain it but he acts like he does. i've liked him for sooo long & i like him more than i like joe.
joe is single. he acts like he likes me but a lot more than bob does. he stares & smiles at me a lot & he started talking to me a lot more this past week. like we never talked before & now we like talk a lot. whenever i say his name, he looks at me & smiles. all my friends say he likes me too.
i think joe is gonna ask me out. i asked him to go skating friday & he accepted like right away. i'll probably say yes because i'm stupid. but like i dont think i could commit to a relationship with him because of bob. i like bob A LOT. if him & his gf were to break up while i was going out with joe, i'd be tempted to break up with him to go out with bob. i dont want to hurt anyone's feelings here.
i'm torn between them. i dont know what to do. i like them both. sorry if this is a bit hard to understand but can anyone help me?
thanksssss.
I think it's obvious who you like more, and you should never start dating anyone who you're not sure you can be in a real relationship with- because what's the point? If you're gonna still like Bob while you go out with Joe, it wouldn't be fair to him. I think that you shouldn't start anything wtih Joe until your feelings for Bob change, or you realize you like Joe more. Otherwise, it wouldn't be fair to him or yourself.
hi there ,
on the 14th of april satuday we had big fight. That night he hit me too because i was causing problem. But its not only that we love eachother too much and we used to have small fights but it used to be ok after 2-4 days but its been like 12 days we haven't talk. last night when i talked to him he said we are already broke up , we cant be together now.But i can't live without him i really love him. I don't want to loose him in any cost. i still want to keep our love alive. now he don't talk to me at all he just say go away, fuck off, leave me alone , no and stuff...please let me know what should i do but i dont wanna loose him in any cost. im so much in tension. i can't sleep , i haven't ate anything. i bought sleeping tabs today.im very serious abt him now .
I know what it's like to feel like you're in love, but the fact that your boyfriend hit you and is telling you to "fuck off" should probably be signs that it is not love. You may love him, but is that really how you want to be treated? If he broke up with you, and is telling you to go away- maybe you should try to get over him. Instead of sitting around being sad, go out with some friends or do something enjoyable. I know it may not be what you want to hear, but guys like that are not worth it. You can't make someone love you, if he's able to break up with you and not feel bad about it, don't sit and sulk over him. You can do much better.
I'm 15/f (well 15 this summer) and I've never had a boyfriend. Never had a first kiss or anything. I'm pretty (or so i've been told) I'm easy to get a long with and as long as you respect me then I'll respect you. But whats wrong with me? I've never been asked out or looked at in an affectionate way before. I know im only 15 and I shouldn't worry but all these chicks in my school are freaking ugly and have no self respect and they have boyfriends. So why can't I?
Please don't tell me "your time will come" I've heard that a million and one times.
One of my friends is so annoying and ugly, and she's just a pain in the ass and she's dating this guy in grade 12.
wtf. :(
I thought the same thing, but honestly the reason most of those girls have boyfriends is exactly what you said they have no self respect- and if guys know that they'll use it to their advantage. Most of those relationships are not love, do you really wanna go out with guys like that anyway? Honestly, all I can say is be patient- being in a relationship isn't all fun and games. It's nice, but it's also a lot of work, in the meantime be happy being single. Trust me, it's a really amazing thing.
and there is nothing wrong with you, most guys your age probably have a hard time asking out girls they REALLY like, because they probably think you don't like them back- so they lower their standards.
15/f.
first off i'd like to say that im not like those girls that look for guys online that say they love them but only want one thing.. sex.
k so i have a major problem. theres this guy i love sooo much.. his names Robin. well Robin and i haven't met.. yet. he was gonna come down not to long ago but family stuff came up. but now.. a new guy named Marc has came into my life but i havent met him yet either.. but i met him through a friend.. and him and i are hanging out during the week. well Marc said that he could see himself with me in the future.. i said that exact same thing. but like i love Robin so much and i dont know what to do.
but heres the scoop:
ROBIN - i've known him(online and telephone) for over 3 years now. he loves me. i love him. we say we're gonna marry one anotehr lol. i dont want to break his heart... again.. by being with someone else.
MARC - ive know him for not even a month. he says im amazing and that he could see himself with me. but i dont want his heart broken either.
PLEASE HELP ME!
An emotional connection is one thing, but you also have to have a physical connection with someone. Who knows, you could meet up with Robin, and not be physically attracted to him or anything. It is easy to fall in love wiht someone when you're not around them, because all you hear is words- they can craft themselves to seem one way, but they could be another way when you actually get to know them personally.
The fact that you're even considering the other guy makes me think that maybe you don't have as strong feelings as you think you do. You're fifteen, everything feels like love, but just remember like and love are very different things. I suggest meeting with the other guy that your friend knows and trying it out. You still have a lot of time to decide.
I think that my brother uses drugs/sells them.I looked in our basement and i found some drugs.I'm really worried about him!He also threw a party and there was alcohal when my dad wasn't home,but my dad crashed the party.What should i do!
If you found drugs, tell your parents about it. They need to talk to your brother and intervene with him. If he gets involved in drugs...there can be severe consequences, legally and life threatening.
If your parents aren't willing to do anything about it, you need to find some other trusted person who can help your brother.
It may not seem good to tell on your brother to your parents, but in the long run you are doing what's best for him, and in time he will come to thank you for it.
I'm 16 years old. I've never had a girlfriend, I've never been kissed, I've never even held hands. Is something wrong with me? I feel like I'm missing out on one of the best parts of my teenage years. Is it wrong that it hasn't happened yet? Is it a bad thing? And what about when I finally do get a girl. Is she not going to want to be with me because I'm not experienced enough to make her happy? I guess the advice I need is how do I stop worrying so much. The only reason it bothers me so much is because of my age. I'm 16, I should have at least gotten to 3rd base by now, and I damn sure should have fallen in love. Please help! I appreciate it.
Don't worry too much about it, everyone finds these things at different times. I know many of my friends are eighteen and haven't had much experience. And I doubt many ppl actually honestly fall in love at your age. If you want to have a girlfriend, find a girl you like and start flirting with her and ask her out. I know that's a hard thing to do, but you gotta try if you really want to experience something and get a girlfriend.
But don't worry, most people say they've got a lot of experience, but they don't really. And no, I don't think a girl would be turned off by the fact that you don't have experience. Personally, I find it refreshing when a guy hasn't been with many girls. =)
good luck, and don't worry too much about it. These things happen naturally.
Hi my boyfriend and I are having some problems. Well first of all he is mad at me for getting a myspace and he wont leave me alone he's threatning to break up with me for it, its retarded he needs to just leave me alone. What should I do?
wow...if he is willing to leave you over something as small as that, then he is just trying to be controlling. You need to get out of that relationship, he obviously doesn't love you if he's going to break up with you over a myspace. As much as you probably don't want to hear this, I think you need to go find a more mature guy and dump him. Don't let him control you.
I hope everything works out.
Okay, so I'm dating this boy. And I really really like him. But he's moving, and I don't know what to do. Because he wants me to 'try' a long distance relationship. But as it is, we don't talk that much, unless we're hanging out. But when he moves, we won't hang out at all. I intended breaking up, but he got really mad at me. And it's really not what I want, I have no idea what to do. If anyone could help me please!
You could tell him you will try the long distance relationship, and see how it goes in the beginning. It could work out, if you two stayed in touch a lot, maybe through teh computer, or phone, or mail. Tell him that if it doesn't work out, then you two should consider breaking it off.
But if you don't even want to try the long distance thing, then it's your decision wether to stay in thsi relationship or not.
So my friend has been havin relationship problems. right now shes not going out with him but they hav kissed several times and hugged and cuddled. from wat shes heard about him she thinks hes usin her. she had 1 of our friends ask him and he started cursin at her and i asked him and he just said he had 2 go. shes felling really low but she still likes him, i troed convicein her her not to but it didnt work. please help me. I want my baby to be happy. Please help me i dont know what to do!
Well I could see why a guy would be mad if the girl's friends kept bugging him about her. Honestly, SHE needs to ask him where this relationship is going, if he wants it to be serious or not. She needs to ask him if he's using her, or wants something more. That's the only way she'll figure out if he's worth her time or not.
(13, Female)
My crush asked me out recently. I'm totally outgoing and flirty, but once we start going out I get shy. How do I break out of that. Like on the phone, I don't know what to say. Sometime's I'll try excuses not to talk to him, or hang out with him cause I hate ackward silences. How can I be a more outgoing, romantic type when I'm going out with someone?
You're probably not going out with a guy you're compatible with. Honestly, before you go out with a guy, get to know him well and see if you guys have things in common. Be friends with him first, because then when you're his girlfriend you already know what it's like to hang out with him and you will be more comfortable talking with him. Good luck.
I get really shy around a lot of people. I hate it, because when i'm around a guy I really like I get shy. How do I become less shy. I hate it!!! I really need help. I hardly talk to people cuz i'm sooo shy. Someone please help,
And guys please tell me how I can talk to guys and not sound like an idiot. Lol. Like what should I say? I don't want to come off too strong or like be too shy, please help. Thanks a bunch!!
I was the exact same way, and it takes time to get rid of the shyness, but I know you can do it. First advice is join clubs, or go places you wouldn't normally go and meet people. Meet your freind's freinds and hang out with them. Just learn to become comfortable with yourself. Shyness stems from a lack of confidence where you feel the need to hide yourself from others. Gain some confidence, and you will see that your shyness will start to go away. Just be your complete and natural self around people.
With guys you like, of course you'll be a little shy, but jsut try to act like it's not a big deal. Guys love girls with confidence, so act like you have it, even if you feel like you don't. After awhile, you will realize talking to people and meeting people isn't so hard and you will lose the shyness.
Good luck!
does anyone know good songs to listen to or dedicate to someone you miss or love .. could youu leave me some .. any answers are appreciated!!
Far Away by Nickelback
Where'd you go by Fort Minor
Miss you by Blink 182
Here without you by Three Doors Down
Those are some of my favorites.
My boyfriend and i have been together for two months and he has been with my family on numerous occasions. He went to the airport with us to see off my cousin, he came over the house, and he came on the boat with the family as well. My boyfriend asked me to come over his house and i ignored the question by changing subjects fast (IT WORKED) I know he will ask again so id like to figure out if i have to force myself to go or not. Also he has asked me to come chill with his friends. My question is..since we only recently have seriously dated isnt it better to keep it between me and him rateher then let eachother meet the friends who by the way our very influential? also if im uncomfortable with going to his house isnt it okay for the begining of the relationship for us to avoide it? I met one of his friends today it was one of those quick meetings like hello nice to meet you bye things and i felt akward with it. I love my boyfriend very much thats why ive been commited for two months even though we didnt see eachother for a lil over a month. Am i being smart or immature? Is it okay if we avoid the chilling with friends for a lil bit more or am i being selfish? i havnt allowed my friends to meet him yet because i want to keep it between us so im not hypocritical in that sense. I do see that it may be unfair for me to chill at my hosue and not his but on the othrr hand hes more comfortable with going to my hosue then i am with going to his. HELP BEFORE HE ASKS AGAIN :)
I think you should go to his house and meet his friends. I mean, of course it will be awkward at first, I bet it was for him too, but over time you will feel more comfortable. It makes sense you want to keep it just between you two, but if you want to further mature this relationship then you should meet some of his friends and family. I'm sure it will all work out if you give it a chance! Good luck.