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BOYFRIENDS HOUSE AND FRIENDS!
My boyfriend and i have been together for two months and he has been with my family on numerous occasions. He went to the airport with us to see off my cousin, he came over the house, and he came on the boat with the family as well. My boyfriend asked me to come over his house and i ignored the question by changing subjects fast (IT WORKED) I know he will ask again so id like to figure out if i have to force myself to go or not. Also he has asked me to come chill with his friends. My question is..since we only recently have seriously dated isnt it better to keep it between me and him rateher then let eachother meet the friends who by the way our very influential? also if im uncomfortable with going to his house isnt it okay for the begining of the relationship for us to avoide it? I met one of his friends today it was one of those quick meetings like hello nice to meet you bye things and i felt akward with it. I love my boyfriend very much thats why ive been commited for two months even though we didnt see eachother for a lil over a month. Am i being smart or immature? Is it okay if we avoid the chilling with friends for a lil bit more or am i being selfish? i havnt allowed my friends to meet him yet because i want to keep it between us so im not hypocritical in that sense. I do see that it may be unfair for me to chill at my hosue and not his but on the othrr hand hes more comfortable with going to my hosue then i am with going to his. HELP BEFORE HE ASKS AGAIN :)
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You aren't being smart dear, you are being immature and you are right, you are being unfair.
You are afraid! I get that. Fear is fine.
But how long are you going to keep this up? After six months is he allowed to met your friends? And why is your family okay but his isn't?
You need to overcome that fear. A person's friends ARE very influential and big part of a person's life, and that isn't going to change whether you met them or not.
What will change, if you meet his friends and he meets yours is that you will be a real person to his friends not just 'the girlfriend'. Trust me, you want to be a real person to his friends and family. When they talk about you (and they will talk about you, whether you meet them or not) you want them to use your name. Because it's easy to spew nonsense, or only hear about the bad bits from your boyfriend (and there are always bad bits in every relationship) about 'the girlfriend', but people will be gentler and more reasonable when that girlfriend is a person they know.
If you are serious about this relationship lasting another two months, then you aren't helping yourself by avoiding everyone he is close too, you are hurting yourself. Sooner or later they are going to wonder what your baggage is that you aren't willing to meet them. Sooner or later, your hesitance is going to hurt your boyfriend's feelings. You don't have to hang out with friends or family every single day, you don't need to hang out at his house if you aren't comfortable there. But you do need to meet the family, make the effort to be sociable with them, and eventually the friends.
(By the way, EVERYONE is more comfortable at his or her own home then anyone else's. The only way you get comfortable at a place is to spend time there. You owe it to your boyfriend to give his home a fair chance.)
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I think you should go to his house and meet his friends. I mean, of course it will be awkward at first, I bet it was for him too, but over time you will feel more comfortable. It makes sense you want to keep it just between you two, but if you want to further mature this relationship then you should meet some of his friends and family. I'm sure it will all work out if you give it a chance! Good luck.
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The thing about it is, you will have to meet his friends and family eventually, why not get it over with?
That's a really good way to get to know him as well. Friends help show you where his interests lie, and family likes to tell stories about him.
If you are uncomfortable, give it a little more time, but I wouldn't give it much. If you love him like you say you do, you won't want to keep avoiding his invitations. That may push him away after a while.
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