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I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 11 months now. And I love him. I don't doubt that. What I'm wondering is if this is "the" love... so to speak. He had his doubts in the beginning. But now I'm having mine. The main thing is that I'm becomming attracted to another guy. It was getting worse for quite sometime up to when this new guy and I kissed. We discussed the kiss and decided it was a bad idea and should just be friends. Now I can't get it out of my head. If I truly love my boyfriend, why did I kiss this guy? Why am I still attracted to him? I might merely be infatuated temporarily with this guy but it also could mean that I am not emotionally there for my boyfriend anymore... I don't want to lose him... I just want to find myself more.

Take time to analyze your feelings. If you spend tons of time with your boyfriend, cut that time down a bit. Take time to sit in a quiet spot and write down your feelings in a journal,write poems, anything you want to get your feelings down. Have some time to think things through. Imagine not being with your bf anymore. Would you look forward to being "free" to explore other options, not be tied down, etc? Would you be miserable? There is no seeing the future, but to try and sort what you want out is the best thing for you right now.
You dont have to hate your bf to break up with him,. You may really care for him, but discover it is time for you to do your own thing, branch off and move on . You are young, there are lots of opportunity out there. I am not giving you advice to go one way or the other, my advice is to try and figure out what you want. If you cannot commit to your bf and be happy with only him and not wanting others, you should break up with him.

After some talking out loud to yourself, writing, thinking, etc you will have the answer figured out.

Good luck!

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..if a guy actually loves you like he says he does or if he just wants you for the sex?

First way to tell. Does he pressure you to have sex? Is he okay with waiting? Is sex and sexual activities all that seems to come out of his mouth?
Does he call you to say hello and talk, or to see if you are ready for sex.
Does the guy want to cuddle, watch a movie, hold hands, or once again is he just pressuring for sexual activity. Does the guy interested in getting to know you, asking questions about you, wanting to hang out at the park, take you out to the movies, public places? Or is he always trying to see you when you two would be alone in hopes of sex?

Analyzing his body language, words, actions, and how he is with you in general is a good tool to read in to his true colors.

Good luck, and if there are warning signs with him, leave him. Dont have sex with him in hopes you two will get closer and have the real deal love. If he is a jerk, he is a jerk and he doesnt deserve you.

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Now that im back to talking to my friend i like him again even before when i stopped talking to him i still liked him no matter what i do i still think about him everyone keeps telling me to just forget about him but i cant and theres no use in telling him how i feel because hes a funny boy and he acts like an ass he can be a jerk but hes sometimes sweet n funny hes like a brother i hate to love and love to hate no matter what advice i get to solve this theres always a huge downfall....Why do i feel this way about him? Why cant i get over him? And what can i do

The hormones and feelings are a funny thing. Really no way to explain it, except that its natural. Did one of your mutual friends ever ask this guy if he had feelings for you?
Real close friends can turn in to wonderful relationships, but then again the relationship may not work out and then you dont always get your friend back either. So if your friend asks him about you and he doesnt see you like that, at least keep in mind that at least you guys have a strong friendship.
It is hard to get over that crush who you go back to liking. I have been there, its rough. If he really is not interested, then just ride the current. You are young, there will be lots of guys in the future, you never know where or when you will meet the next guy!

good luck! :)

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Alright. Here is the thing. This past summer I got involved with a total ass(it happens) and he hurt me becuase I found out he was only trying to get in my pants (have sex) and when I told him I wasn't ready (I was fourteen when he asked me! Granted, he was sixteen at the time but still. Fourteen... now way) he dumped me... Yeah. Anyway, that's a whole nother story... I pretty much moved on and I am now dating this awesome guy and we have been for a little over a month. The summer jerk we'll call T and my boyfriend we'll call C. So C and I are doing fine and dandy but just last night we got into a little fight and I hung up on him. We were cooling down when wow, would fate have it? T texts me. Just a casual "hey, what's up? :)" and normally (cuz he's tried to call and text and see me a few times since we broke up but ive been hesitant cuz i KNOW what his intentions are) i just ignore him but since I was mad at C I was like what the hell and I started chatting with him. It was just texting so its not like it was a big deal and we were just catching up but I still feel bad... C knows about my past with T and he would be pissed if he knew I was talking to him. I don't want to talk to T either. But... I kind of want to try and be friends with him. Is that possible?? I mean. Yeah he hurt me and he never apologized but maybe he didn't know how much he hurt me. Maybe we can work it out and be friends. I'm tired of being angry at him and I want a friendship to work (oh by the way, T goes to a different school than C and I do) But there are a few problems with that... Number 1: C could quite possibly get mad. Number 2: T was an ass, what if he's a sucky friend too?? Number 3: What if i start to like him again...? That CAN"T happen. I am crazy about C but I have always had this thing for bad boys... I don't know... I'm just so confused and I don't know what to do so any help would be great thanks. But I do want this friendship. I'm over T but I'm not over what he's done to me and I think I need to be his friend to finally work though this bad blood with him and help myself. BEcause I feel like until I work this out I'm never going to be able to get closer to C or anyone. I need to be able to trust again. Btw, I am fifteen and C and T are both sixteen.

I really strongly suggest sticking with your bf and not making friends with the summer jerk. why risk a relationship with a great guy over a friendship with someone who does not deserve it anyway? You said it yourself, if your bf finds out he will be mad. Its not good to go behind his back..and I definitely agree that the summer jerk could quite possibly be a sucky friend. You do not want to set yourself up for major boy drama..the summer jerk trying to lure you in, then you getting feelings again and leaving behind your nice bf.

To avoid all kinds of sticky messes, end the convos and possible friendship with the summer jerk, he is totally not worth it. When you tell the summer jerk that..just say it honest. you have a bf, you care about him, and the other guy is a jerk and dumped you just because he couldnt have sex with you. not a good sounding friend or love interest.

hope this helped, in the end it is your choice though.

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im totally and completely in love with my boyfriend. and im pretty sure he feels the same way. but im worried about our relationship.

we have sex and do foreplay, and its all nice and such. but we've only been dating a couple of months and already this flame (being our relationship) has gotten so high. im worried that in the longrun, its just going to start feeling like a routine. and then it'll get boring, and we'll both wind up bored and end up splitting.

ive waited so long for him. and i finally got him. how can i keep the flame burning high so we dont get bored??

i know how you feel. ive been with my bf for almost 3 yrs..and at the 2 or 3 month point i was thinking the same as you. the key is this: SEX is not everything. Spending time together, doing other activities, just being happy together is what holds a relationship together. sex alone cannot hold a relationship together. its like crappy glue in a way.
so, to keep things interesting..plan day trips/overnight trips, go different places, try different things, dont let yourselves settle in the same routine where you watch tv all day and have sex in the same position in the same place and not go anywhere. if you two really love each otherr it will not end up like that though

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16/f
all of my friends, or pretty much all of them, have hooked up with a guy/guys. I haven't. and they are all so pretty :[ AND DON'T TELL ME THAT I AM PRETTY BECAUSE YOU DONT KNOW ME. i think im not appealing to guys. i don't have boobs. and actually, some of my friends don't either, but that's not the point ... i guess. I've had like ... 3 boyfriends. 2 were just flukes. one i really liked alot, but we only kissed, never hooked up. i guess i was scared? *because he has hooked up before* and then we broke up. but anyways, just the other day one of my "friends" was like ... well everyone has hooked up by now...duh. and i was like, no they havent, i know people who havent. and she was like, have you? and i lied. i said i did. because i didn't want to feel like a loser. because maybe i should have ALREADY hooked up with a guy. but again, no guys like me. and im only attracted to the ones who are out of my league, not available, or ex's. I DONT KNOW WHATS WRONG OR WHAT I AM DOING WRONG OR ANYTHING. any advice is appreciated. i guess. ugh. will it ever be my turn ?! ugh. and you don't have to tell me what i want to hear, im on this site for the truth. okay? thanks in advance.

i know you want the truth. so here you go. i am pretty damn overweight. i dont wear bakinis, so its not like im calling myself fat and im 130..no no its much more than that.

the truth is this. next month will be my three YEAR anniversary with my bf, im 19 hes 20. my friends are sooo gorgeous like really reaaaally beautiful girls. yeah, they get the guys. but only a couple of them get the love. like my gorgeous friends get played , not taken seriously, etc.

so. dont get discouraged. dont feel pressured. when the right person comes along for you, you will know. just give it time. you are young! hang out with friends, enjoy being young, have fun! there is plenty of time for love.

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hey thanks for reading :)

ive been meeting up with this lad for over 5mouths now and i realy like him , im actualyy in love with him because we met up like 4 times a week , but the only problem is a part of me thinks hes just using me for sex but if he was using me wouldnt he of moved on by now? we always fall out i dont no why its mosty me because i need him and i cant see why he wont get with me we act like a couple well i think we do, he never tells actually told me if he likes me or not not even to his or my mates he just sayin he hates realatships , like i said its 5mouths and i want to move on coz i dont think he will ever get with me but a apart of me thinks he will he just need time to think i mean we txt eachother everyday , i dont weather to say its over with the meeting because i cant handle it and that because we int getting anywere or leave him for a days, weeks or months , to see if he do care eught to get in touch with me or leave him a message sayin you have a week to make your mind up but thats childish , another thing is he never kissed me lol we have done everything not once has a got a kiss :S i tryed to kiss him but he just says he done like kissing, if anyone understands what im tryin to tell you can u please help me ....

this guy is not interested in settling down. he just wants sex. and he wont even kiss you, thats an even worse sign. its been five months and if he isnt interested in being commited, i dont think its ever going to happen. who knows who else this guy is seeing and fooling around with. guys like sex, and if he can keep having sex with you hes going to, it doesnt mean he likes you..it means he likes sex

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Ok... so I will start by saying that I thought I had good morals and was a decent person, but that seems to have changed. I fooled around with a co-worker last night, not quite had sex but close enough. Thing is I am in a horrid relationship with a child and he is unhappily married but loves his wife. I was very drunk and him sober...and I believe that alcohol is never an excuse but I also feel like if I was not drinking I would not have made that choice. I feel so incredibly crappy today..really really crappy. I want to do something to make it better which is probably impossible. I cannot tell my boyfriend because he would literally kill me or hurt me very badly. I just really lost all respect for myself and need some advice. please don't be too mean with the remarks because i already know what I did was VERY wrong. thanks

Well you could try to keep this a secret, but wouldnt that hurt too much inside? You were pretty confident that your bf would realy hurt you. Think about your relationship with him..maybe you did this because deep down you are not happy with him..maybe you will realize deep down you want to end things with your bf. You could break up with your bf and not tell him what you did with your coworker..keeping your actions a secret would hurt too much inside, and would make your relationship be based on a lie. In the end the choice is yours, but im thinking maybe you want to end your relationship anyway. Why do you think he would literally hurt you? Has be been abusive in the past? In the end its your choice, my advice is to not keep it inside. It will hurt too much..and i also think you should take a little bit to really reflect on the inside of what you want and what is best..

good luck

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I am 16 and my boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months now. The other day, he invited me over to spend Christmas Eve with him and his family. I've met them before, but never actually sat down and had a meal with them or anything, so I'm pretty nervous.

Any advice/tips on how to make a good impression? =]

well the little things that you can do to make a really good impression is:
-wear a nice outfit like a sweater.obviously nothing really low cut etc.
-bring something over like a cake you baked or brownies
-smile be polite, the obvious things like saying please/thank you
-just be yourself..make conversation like about school, your family, tell funny stories, build off of the questions they ask you. dont be too quiet..
dont worry im sure they will love you! maybe ask your bf about your parents and their interests ..likes/dislikes so you can generate more ideas of what to talk about etc. good luck and remember to be yourself!

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how long do you usually wait in a relationship to bring them home and meet the parents?

well i think it depends. how old are you? when i was 16 , almost 17 i brought my bf home to my family pretty quickly..because being that i was still young, not driving yet, and living at home i figure my parents should meet the guy i would spend my time with.

as you get older..like if you have your own license, or maybe live alone, in college, etc you can wait it out a little more because you are more independent from your parents.
it is also a preference. you might decide to keep your guys away from your parents until you feel its a little more serious.

i hope i helped a little :)

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Sorry 'bout the length. Ok, so there is this boy I've known for a long time, but we've barely talked to each other. So, this year, we got assigned seats next to each other in math in the back of the room. And he is HILARIOUS, and he is always talking to me, and I love being around him. But our math teacher DOES NOT like the two of us, and she is always mad at him. So, I've been noticing for the past couple weeks that he's been showing signs of liking me... he's always writing on my binder with hearts and "U Luv Willimo" (His nickname) all over it, and he is always saying we should give each other hugs to make my friends jealous, making me laugh all the time, and, you know, that type of stuff. He is SO cute, too! But, my STUPID, STUPID frigging math teacher MOVED ME TO THE FRONT OF THE ROOM! So now, I always see him looking at me, and I always want to talk to him, but I don't really know how, even though we're pretty good friends. =( I need help, because I think I might like him back...

aww he def likes you! some ideas..maybe get to the class a couple minutes early , catch him in the halls and talk on the way to class. during this time mention the idea of maybe hanging out. exchange sns or phone numbers and take it from there!
if that wont work, maybe after class walk with him and talk. start with some small talk like "man, stupid mathh teacher moved me to the front .. i hate it. " etc. try it out i hope it works..dont worry it sounds like he def likes you! :)

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i have two lovers right now, and ive always believed this to be wrong, but i love my girlfriend, karla, and when my best friend james asked me out i couldnt say no b/c ive liked him even longer than ive liked karla.
whats YOUR OPINION on this...is it ok for someone's who's bisexaul to have a bf and a gf at the same time????

well no, my opinion is this is still considered cheating. its kind of like a guy having two girlfriends, its no different, you have to come clean to your partners and chose someone.

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thanxs for the advice...im just really glad things are working out with us..in our 2 month of dating my previous ex contacted me through myspace after like 5 months since the break up and asked me how i was doing so i told her i was doing fine i have a gf now and that im happy...i asked her how she was and she said the same so i told her thats great im happy for u...so my current gf found out and she didnt trust me from then..we got through it but she just had it in the back of her mind that i was still talking to her...so my gf decided to end things she needed space...so i respected her decision now 3 months later were getting passed it and working on the future...u think all this could work out with no problems and her trust issues?

well i think it still is a sensitive issue, but i think its something you two can work on. i dont think that magically its going to be like it never happened. trust is easy to break, and hard to gain back. so while you work on the future, dont do anything to break the trust. im not saying give her your password or anything, but maybe if your on myspace and your with her just show her everything is appropriate in your convos. and my opinion is i think you guys can work out. just remember not to talk to anyone in a way you wouldnt want her to be talking to other people. good luck with everything!

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heyy..i gave my ex a promise ring after 4 months we were dating...we dated for 9 months...we broke up 3 months ago...after we broke up she never wore the ring and we hardly spoke..now 3 months later were on better terms trying to work things out slowly...i asked her if she sold the ring or got rid of it and she said no and that shes actually wearing it...when i saw her this past saturday she had it on her right ring finger..ladies, what does that mean when a girl wears her promise ring on her right ring finger?

well you said she never wore it after the break up. now that its 3 months later and you are trying to work on things, its an excellent sign she is wearing it again. it means she still has the feelings for you and wants to work through whatever it is you guys need working on! so good luck, keep it going, and dont rush things too much. but her wearing the ring again definitely means things are getting better.

i know i wouldnt just randomly pick up a promise ring from an ex i never used to wear unless we were working on getting back together and i liked him so it looks like good news! :)

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heyy, i know this is long but please answer if you can. im so lost any suggestion would be amazing.

the first boy ive ever loved, kissed, gone out with, all of that is still in my head. we started daitng 3 years ago (wer both 14 now) and hes been in my head ever sense. i know he feels the same way and its scary because no matter how many times we break up we aways go back to eachother. it feels like we were destined to be together. and ithink we might be eventually. but...



whenever we have a relationship it gets so serous that im scared to even talk to him. if i do, we flirt nonstop, make all of these plans, and im scared where ittle leade. ive never been able to really get over him, i get butterflys just looking at him and i know he feels the same way. but i dont want to lose a high school experience by being with him, it hurts to talk to him because i feel it getting more serous and stronger by the minuite, but it hurts not to becayse i miss him so much. and i see him in shcool everyday and he just makes me laugh and hes never broken up with me i always break up with him because i feel myself getting too attached and i get scared and run away. i think i might really love him even though i know its not likely at this age. i know i love the way he makes me feel but icant let myself accept it. and he says he dosent want a relationship now but i know i could talk him into it but im not sure whats best. do you think theres a way i could really get over him? not talking to him isnt really an option, it would just be really awkward. hes in my classes so i have to see him everyday. i know i could try to get over him, but im not sure how to get over him for good. the second he looks at me or texts me all is lost and i fall for him again. please help


thanks SO much!

well. before you make the choice to really 'fully' get over him, do you want to? I mean if you really like him and you try this fully getting over him thing, would you regret it later? I just dont want you going through hell if he settles down with a girl and ends up dating her for a long time. So first be sure this is what you want.
You mentioned the "high school experience". by that im assuming hanging out with friends a lot, dating other people, and not being tied down. Well if you really want to get over him, start doing these things. Makke plans with friends often, go to the football games, go out in big groups, and maybe you will get to know a new guy and want to date him/get to know him better.
Im 19 now and my first serious bf was about 14 also. I still think to this day if he came back to my area (he moved far away) i would think of the old times and maybe develop some feelings in a sense. BUT i have a boyfriend of almost 3 years now..so there would definitely be nothing between us. It might just bring back some feelings. So you see, as time passes, and as new people come into your life, feelings for others and past relationships pains will fade. What im trying to say is, its natural for some feelings to remain, but they will definitely not be as intense down the road.
It soundsl ike you and your ex are pretty good friends. Stay good friends and if you find this "high school experience" is deinitely not working out for you, maybe you and this boy really are meant to have something serious.

So my main advice to recap is..go out with friends, try the dating scene because who knows you might meet someone else..and down the road if you still find yourself wanting your ex, dont deny those feelings!

well good luck i hope this helped hun!

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so let me just say that im 16 years old and so is my boyfriend and im about 99.9% sure im pregnant im taking a test when i get paid in couple days but my boyfriend and i had sex when i was ovulating we were using a condom but he must have not put it on right because it broke and we didnt notice it until after he came .. anyways

i need to tell him and my parents, my mom will be upset a bit but she would get over it quickly and i know she would help me she already said if i every got in this situation she would and im not worried about telling my parents its my boyfriend im worried about he has this whole plan to go to college and graduate and start a business and if we had a baby together at 16 then thats going to change, his parents are the opposite of mine, they don't like me to much because i dont go to church.. and they told him if he got me pregnant he would have to drop out of school and it would ruin his life and i just feel bad my friends said its not all my fault but i just feel like it is and i dont want him to have to ruin his plan he has and ah im just so stuck what should i do or say??

well i dont agree to the person below me. i mean i think if you beleived in abortion you would take that path, you did not ask us about it. and as far as adoption, Witty is first of all wrong for claiming its "retardedly" easy for babies to find homes. there are so many kids "in the system" its sad. its a fine choice if you decide on it though. this is all up to you and your boyfriend.

well with that said. this wont be easy at all. there is no easy way saying it. obviously tell him first. and discuss ideas/options. we on this site cant boss you around and tell you what to do. this is up to you and your boyfriend.

things may be rough, but luckily it sounds like your mother will be there for you. after telling your boyfriend..both of you need to go talk to her and discuss options.

he can still continue high school and down the road who knows maybe when you two are 18 you will decide to attend community college to start the first two years while the baby goes to daycare. its not a bad option to get main courses out of the way. i know this is the last thing on your mind..but its an example that there are comprimises out there and together with your boyfriend you will talk about these options.

hang tight and good luck sweetie!

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so i'm fourteen years old, my birthday is in december, i'm verrrry mature for my age. i know whats right from wrong, and stuff like that. i just got out of a relationship that was basically based on sexuall things like handjobs, blowjobs, fingering, and stuff. me and my ex boyfriend (16) would do stuff everyday we hung out. it was okay and stuff but idk it made me more mature. i am now in a relationship with a boy that has been my friend since late july ish? i have kinda liked him since late july, but he had a girlfriend till mid august, and i dated my ex boyfriend from late july to late august. anyways, my "new" boyfriend was basically my bestfriend, and i feel really comfortable with him. i kinda want to have sex with him i'm just scared, and i think it's too early, but i still want to. i'm just scared about what would happen, and if i went to the doctors or something they would ask me and i dont want to tell my mom, because i really dont have a good relationship with my mom. i am definatly scared that somehow if one of our parents found out what would happen because my mom and his mom are good friends. he is 16, turning 17 on october 25th. also, we are in a long distance relationship (live about an hour away) but we try to see eacother every weekend beause he has a camp where i do. i need advice about what i should do, and basically a lot of information about sex. :/

well you said it yourself, you want to but you are scared. wanting to are the hormones acting up at this age. there is plenty of time for sex down the road. at this young age, people date for a few months and move on, im not saying this will be your case, its just the statistics. you dont want to give up something so valuable that you cant get back do you? i dont want to see you getting hurt. and at your age, i would stay away from sex. stay away from it until you are settled down at an older age and in deep love!

wait until you are so ready your scared feelings disappear. and wait until you can take responsibility. sex is very emotional..especially for a virgin . wait for the special one. 14 is very very young in my opinion. dont become a statistic. so many young people say they wish they would have waited. virginity is taken away and when it is,, it never comes back again.

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seems like everyone in this world can not just be with one person. they end up cheating. why are people like that?

i know there a re a lot of terrible people out there, but there are also good faithful couples as well. i think age,maturity, have a lot t o do with it. an 18 year old who isnt ready to settle down and wants to play the "field" covers a lot of the cheaters out there. there are plenty of couples deep in love who would never cheat though. if you;ve been cheated on keep your head up and leave the prick behind. dont forget there are still a lot of good people out there along with the terrible cheaters.

cheaters are selfish horny people who dont care about anyones feelings but their own and need their sexual needs satisfied. i know a couple friends who have never had a bf/gf they havent cheated on and its terrible..but watch they will always end up alone due to their cheating

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well, i have this ex boyfriend that i had for three years, so obviously we still talk, we broke up about a month ago. and i am going to try to start dating again, it's going to be hard, but i want to do it.

well there's this boy that i have feelings for, he wants to start dating soon . but the thing is : if me and this boy do start dating , do i tell my ex boyfriend? i mean wouldn't it be best if he found out from me so that he didn't get upset , or should i let him find out himself?

13/f

whatever you do, dont play either guy. if you chose the new guy, let your ex know otherwise things will get into a t otal mess. if you know you will go back to your ex, then be upfront with the new guy. if you arent, trust me things will blow up in yourr face, ive been there :/

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my boyfriend and i had really bad sex about three days ago.
he says he doesn't care and that it's okay, but i can tell that he's a little dissapointed.
any ideas on what i can do to make things better?

alright. this time make it hott lol. buy some hot lingerie, or wear his favorite underwear. he must have told you what he thinks is hot. seduce him, do some new sexy things. when hes in your bedroom or whatever, come in the room with a robe and start massaging him, or even better do a little strip tease. take your time with foreplay, try something new, maybe talk to him about his fantasies. maybe he wants to be tied up, talked dirty to, or spank you. role play, go to a sex shop if your old enough and maybe buy a hot nurses outfit, or just simply some KY jelly. take a hot shower together and get him to the point where he cant wait to get you in bed.

he must have a favorite position. if he does, get right in that position for him :)

browse the net for hot new positions, tips, etc. cosmopolitan.com always has great sex articles.

have fun!

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