i have two lovers right now, and ive always believed this to be wrong, but i love my girlfriend, karla, and when my best friend james asked me out i couldnt say no b/c ive liked him even longer than ive liked karla.
whats YOUR OPINION on this...is it ok for someone's who's bisexaul to have a bf and a gf at the same time????
Matt answered Tuesday September 16 2008, 10:27 pm: Being bisexual does not mean you have a get out of jail free card when it comes to monogamy. If you "love" Karla, why would you feel the need to screw James on the side? That is not a normal thought process.
What happened to you in your childhood that would completely warp your views on relationships, love, and attraction?
Peeps answered Tuesday September 16 2008, 9:56 pm: I think this is completely wrong for many reasons actually. For one, these relationships NEVER last. They burn out quickly. One partner tends to become more interested in the other, almost forgetting about the third. The third eventually feels left-out and ventures to find someone who can focus their entire attention on them.
Human nature is to have one partner at a time, believe it or not. We weren't created to have multiple partners. Our mentality cannot quite handle it. We have to focus on making one thing work at a time or we become extremely overwhelmed, which can lead to a great deal of psychological disorders.
Relationships are give and take. I see that you're 15 and, most likely, you haven't figure out how a relationship works successfully (I think only married people have an idea of this). This being said, you need to focus on one partner at a time. You have to figure out HOW to have a partner. You have to figure out the gives and takes. You simply cannot learn this with two partners (or more) at a time because you do not focus your energy on one relationship.
One partner usually becomes jealous.
One partner usually is left out in special occasions.
One partner usually feels overwhelmed eventually.
A lot of lies must be told to hide the truth of the relationship/s.
Someone ALWAYS gets hurt.
If I were you, I'd go on and confess to both of them that you have been seeing them both. You need to explain that you're all young and that this sort of relationship is unhealthy and that there is no way you can learn how to make a real relationship work if you continue on this path. I'm sure you'd rather lose one partner than both of them, which WILL happen at some point.
In addition to the multiple partners, it is more difficult for you since you are pursuing a relationship with the same gender. Same gendered relationships are not equal to opposite gendered relationships. They take more time to learn how to deal with and work effectively. Personally, I would be with James rather than Karla, but I'm not bisexual and I do not have the same feelings you do toward these two people.
So, plain and simple, the relationship is unhealthy. I say you should back out of this sort of thing and deal with one partner at a time.
mikesadvice answered Tuesday September 16 2008, 9:54 pm: If you are asking for an opinion, NO!
If you are seeking guidance, the fact that you have a sense of right and wrong tells me you know what you are doing is wrong.
If you are asking for a life decision, you are leading an immoral lifestyle. Have you ever noticed man is the only creature on earth that has sex with it's own gender? Man is also the only creature GOD gave a free will to. [ mikesadvice's advice column | Ask mikesadvice A Question ]
MAK answered Tuesday September 16 2008, 9:08 pm: I think what determines whether it is okay or not is what your boyfriend and girlfriend think about it. If you are keeping it from them, then it is obviously wrong, but if they know about the other and are okay with it I don't see how it should be a problem. Monogamous relationships can work out very well with the right people.
LagunaBabe answered Tuesday September 16 2008, 8:57 pm: This really comes down to a matter of opinion because some people do and don't believe in monogamy. This of course, isn't monogamous. I personally, believe in monogamy so for me, I wouldn't do it because I like being in a relationship with one person only. However, I do not wrong you just because it's not something I do, except if they both do not know what's going on, you're basically cheating and I do have to say I think that's wrong. [ LagunaBabe's advice column | Ask LagunaBabe A Question ]
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