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cmccabe92Member Since:
January 25, 2006Answers:
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about
i'm collinhello to all of you who need advice (or perhaps would just like to say hi).
(that's where you say "hi collin!" but you don't have to because it might scare the people around you)
i'm a musician. i play bass, violin, mandolin, keyboards, guitars, drums, harmonica, xylophone, and just about everything else. i also sing lead for my band, the dirty fries, in st. louis, missouri.
my advice may be blunt sometimes, but you all will have to deal with it. i speak the truth, and the truth isn't always pretty.
i'll answer anything, too. as long as it's not something really idiotic like "OMG what color shirt should i wear tonight?!" because i don't answer that kind of crap. i'm a strong believer in there being no stupid questions, but honestly, those are not the sort of questions that should be posted on this website. plain and simple.
ask away
-collin
p.s. - anyone wondering where the numbers/letters in my username come from: they're the model number of my acoustic bass guitar.
advice
16/female
How long should you wait after hooking up with a guy and not recieving a phone call before deciding if he's used you or not? Sorry if that was a little confusing to understand, but it's been a week now and im not sure if i should just forget about him and move on, i really just can't stop thinking about him and i know after having sex the guy should at least call if he cares about the girl at all right? i mean if he dosent.. does that mean he has no feelings for her whatsoever?
well, if you had sex with him, and it's been a week since that happened, he might have used you.
especially if it's been a whole week.
hate to break it to you, but it really sounds like he used you. it doesn't mean he has no feelings for you, but it definitely means he thought he could get away with it.
i don't know what else to tell you, really. it's a bit confusing. . .
-collin
i need help i like my ex how do i get him back or make him jelouse
well, i wouldn't advise making him jealous. bad idea.
guys realize when you're doing things like that. we're not stupid (unless he really is. . . then i've got nothing for you).
if you broke up with him:
talk to him every day. show him that you're interested in dating again. ask him to hang out and tell him you think you made a mistake about breaking up with him. just tell him what's going through your head.
if he broke up with you:
i really don't know what to tell you. show him that he made a mistake. be as nice as you can to him, and ask him if he wants to try it again.
-collin
My boyfriend and I have only been going out for a week or two. We're pretty good friends, though. He's straight edge. I, however, am not; I drink casually and smoke from time to time. He doesn't know this. I'm pretty sure he'd be mad at me if he ever knew I had tried it. I really enjoy his company and talking to him, so I don't want to break up over something like this, but I don't want to start off our relationships with secrets. What should I do?
well, if he didn't know before, you probably should have mentioned it. especially if he doesn't drink or smoke.
you should definitely tell him the truth, though.
here's my personal experience:
i'm "straight edge," as you call it. i don't drink, don't smoke, and don't like it when people do around me (then again, i am 16. . . ). anywho, i know of many people my age who get totally sloshed all the time, and i think it's stupid. a kid from my class had to go to rehab this year for alcohol. no joke.
i understand why you're worried about it, because i know that people who are "straight edge," myself included, don't really approve of drinking and such.
just tell him. if you don't, what could very well happen is that he'll find out the hard way, and then he won't be so open to talking to you about it. if you talk about it now, you've got a much better chance of keeping him around longer.
-collin
i m a 18year old girl.i m in a relationship for past 8 mnths.my boyfriend has confessed tht he had oral sex with a 3 girls before me...but knw he loves me ..i believe him tht he is compleletly changed. but still their is dilama in my mind about what i dnt knw..i want tht he shud regret over it like anything... wht shuld i do.. help mee
ok, so he told you that he's had oral three times before, but that he's completely changed.
sorry hun, but he sounds like he HASN'T changed.
honestly, you need to talk to him about it. i'm not sure what you want us to help you with, but if you think that he's hiding something from you, you need to talk to him about it and figure out what's going on.
-collin
15/F
For five months i've been dating this guy, and all has gone well!
He's really respectful, and sweet, and it seemed he really liked me for me.
About two weeks ago, we started making out on a daily basis.
Which is fine, because i really love him, and i love kissing him and stuff. But lateley everytime i try talking to him, or want to have fun, making out is all he wants to do.
Now, i said this before, i love making out with him, but i want to do other things too sometimes you know?
Yesterday, he brought me in the garage so we could do nothing BUT make out.
Theres more to realationships and love then just making out.
I know hes really into me and i know he loves me, but what are some very slight hints i can give him that will indicate that i want to do something else when i dont feel like making out?
Dont say change the subject because it never works, i tried it.
He'll just say "You're so pretty"
or
"You're so cute"
and then he'll kiss me.
what do i do?
well, this is coming from a very blunt person, but here's what i'd do:
just tell him politely how you're feeling. tell him what's wrong and how you want to make it better, and ask for any input from him.
if he says it's over because of that, or tries to pull something along the lines of "i'm just trying to show you how much i love you!": he's not worth it. there are plenty other ways to show someone you love them.
-collin
the guy i like asked me to hang out with him....... and im pretty darn sure he likes me cuz he told me how he felt and everthing
but..............
he has a girlfriend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so why would he ask me to hang out with him and just him if he has a girl friend!!!!
and its not like we have been friends i mean i wouldnt even consider him a friend really but i do like him a lot tho!!!!!!!
so does any one no why??????
just a note: the person below me is obviously NOT a man.
i, however, am.
it does sound like he's interested, because it looks like he's willing to cheat for you. i'm thinking that's what it is, actually. this situation sounds like he's going to try to cheat on his girlfriend with you.
two bits of advice:
one: don't hang out with him, because IF something happens and the other girl finds out, she'll be out to get you.
two: stay away from the guy. he sounds like an ass.
-collin
Ok, so i have a boyfriend, pico and i like him and he likes me but it just seems like hes gettin kinda like too obsessive and i want to break up with him but i don't want to break up with him and i don't know what do do....please help me!
ahh, yes, the clingy boyfriend. i've had a girlfriends like this before, one of which i went out with for a year and a half.
what i did was just let her know, politely, that i have to have time with my other friends and have time to do other things (such as practice with my band and hang out with my family). you have to let him know that you can't have your whole life revolving around him, politely.
he might get a little upset at that, but if you want him to back off you just need to tell him why you feel that way and what you want to do about it. however, i do stress being POLITE about it.
the thing is, (i'm assuming that) you're a teenager, and teenage dating is NOT about acting like you're married. it's about having fun and being a teenager. simple as that.
-collin
Okay, I like this guy. We met a month ago at the carnival, we were both a little buzzed off of vodka. But my friends being the best people they are, hooked me up with him. We were on the ferris wheel making out like crazy. And after that he gave me his number, and his name to add him on facebook. Then i had to leave.. he gave me a huge hug and we madeout for a minuet and my friends were pulling me away. i really had to go. A week later, i met him up at my friends going away party. We got insanely wasted and went to third--on both of our parts--that was two weeks ago. Other then that, we have been talking on aim/facebook every day. He calls me sometimes and i call him once in a while. I'm going away to hollywood in 14 days for a week, and i come back and go to my house in arizona. I want to see him! i've asked him to hang out two or three times, but he has had baseball practice. he said he could hang out after 7:00 every time i ask him.. he wanted to take me to the movies. But us underaged 15 year olds cant drive in the state of ny! He is the most adorable guy ever.. i just recently broke up with my ex of 6 1/2 months becuase i found out he was using me for ass.. which really pissed me off. But last night my lover, ill call him K, after talking for a long time and calling me a lesbian saying he doesn't talk to lesbians and i was like but im not and he was like ahha i was like well its your decision if i talk to you or not. and he was like yeah and i said dont. but he imed me today.. talking like nothing happened last night. And when he or i have to go, i say byee
the first thing i'm gonna say is something you're not gonna like:
you're fifteen and you're boozing it up and getting to third because of it? not a good idea. something bad WILL happen.
now, away from that rant:
it sounds like he might be using you. scratch that, i think he is. you really need to talk to him about it though; don't just dump him or anything like that too quickly. it does sound like he's a bit of an ass, though. he calls you a lesbian/dyke/stupid and you just let him keep doing it? that's not good, hun.
i have a few classmates (go to an all-boys private school) that sound exactly like this guy. they get drunk and hang out with really nice and beautiful girls (well, most of them are beautiful) and end up getting really far (i.e. third base) with them. they then keep them around because the girl thinks they like them (and these guys are all the big jocks). if he's not nice to you, he's not worth it. at all.
the sex stuff is not a good idea. it makes guys think you're easy, and you'll tend to get used more often than not. i don't know if you do that with other guys that you're not even "officially" going out with, but it's a REALLY bad idea to drink and then get sexual at 15. something bad WILL happen. i know you'll rate me down for that, but it's the truth.
peace
collin
Okay well my boyfriend is going to be out of town for 3 days. I have been checkin out this really hot guy and I have the feeling he's into me so how should I approach hanging out with him? Should I be like Hey ___, _____ is out of town we should hang out! Or what that would be kind of weird. How should I approach this!!
how should you approach him?
you shouldn't.
you're going to cheat on your boyfriend because he's gone for three days? i feel sorry for the guy. if you go through with it, i really hope he doesn't find out.
also, if you're thinking about other guys, why stay with him? you obviously don't like him as much as these other guys.
just don't do it. you'll hurt him and you'll feel like an ass after you do. plus you'll look like a slut and someone who's only in any relationship so that you can do stuff.
-collin
p.s. - i KNOW you're going to give me a low rating. i don't care. that's what ABUSE REPORTS are for. and i quote:
It doesn't matter what i'm going to do with him thats not the answer i'm looking for!
well, if you already know the answer to your question, why ask it?
I have some probs with getting guys to notice me. What should I do?
well there's a few that are important:
stand up straight
don't be really quiet (but don't be really loud and obnoxious)
look them in the eyes
but don't change your personality to get guys to like you. just be yourself. if they don't like it, screw them.
-collin
13/f.Okay yeah I know it's kind of retarded thinking about it now,but it's so pathetic that I've never had a boyfriend before.Ever.I mean I flirt alot,but psh.It's dumb.I feel so stupid sometimes..I just wish I could find someone who liked me too.Liking the person I like now,is worthless.It's not going to go anywhere,considering the age difference >.<
Help please?
I have no idea what to do.
And I think about it everyday..
well i must say that it's not pathetic that you haven't had a real boyfriend. hell, i didn't get my first girlfriend until i was fourteen and in high school, and that's the same thing for most of my friends. there's the occasional one that had something by 13, but not usually. and not to sound mean here or anything, but most relationships that happen at your age don't last, or don't really mean much.
you say you flirt a lot. so what? flirting doesn't really do much; sometimes it makes you look like a fool, and at 13 can get awkward. just be yourself. you don't have to act different to get guys to like you. sure it's cheesy advice, but it's true.
might i add that nothing is worthless. some things just can't happen. have you tried talking to this person you like? if you haven't, why not? it's worth a try.
-collin
How much is really too much. Ok someone tell me how many messages txt messages phone calls a day is too much. Once again preferably guys answer but girls can too! You guys are phit!
depends on who you're talking to.
if you're talking to a girlfriend/boyfriend, i don't think there is ever a "too much." there are restrictions though, depending on plans and stuff.
if it's just friends, it can get to be too much. don't spend hours on end on the phone. don't send a hundred texts. (this all depends on your plan really).
if you need to, just ask your 'rents about it. they'll tell you how much they think is too much, and if they're paying for your phone, it's their decision anyway.
-collin
Recently, I found out that my boyfriend of 6 months is getting kinda bored with what we do. The farthest we've gone is making out and that's the farthest we will go. And then all he talks about with his friends is how he almost spent the night with some hot chick. I don't want to break up, but it upsets me that I'm getting old or something. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. We do kinda make out a lot when we see each other, but what else are we supposed to do?
well if he doesn't like you anymore because you won't go farther than making out, then he's not a good guy.
why don't you guys talk to each other? that's always a good idea, and a lot of times good conversations happen.
i don't really know what else to tell you. i wouldn't break up just yet. i doubt he's "bored" with you, i just think he wants to go farther after six months of just making out. maybe let him get to second base, or do some dry humping.
there ya go
why are some guys are players? and do you think nice guys arent that attractive because they are"nice"?
ok well this is actually kinda complicated but i'll try to explain
first off, some guys are players because they're just plain selfish. they feel they're not getting enough out of ONE relationship (like making out or sex or anything like that), so they have two or more. myself being a guy, i don't think it's right when other guys cheat or do stuff just so they can get laid.
the next thing: not all nice guys are unattractive. with what i'm told, i'm a really nice guy. and i've also been told by quite a few people that i'm incredibly good looking. (sure that sounds vain, but it's the truth). it's just a myth that all the good looking guys are players. maybe you just don't know any of them that aren't.
there ya go
this is sooo wierd... i gave this guy a blow job but he didnt cum. is that normal??
hmmm
well it depends really. there's two things that could've happened.
1. he dry orgasmed. guys sometimes do that. he gets the feeling of an orgasm, but nothing comes out.
2. he didn't orgasm. guys only cum if they orgasm.
that's about all i can tell you, really. dry orgasms are somewhat normal, but what probably happened is that he just didn't orgasm.
there ya go
how do you say yes ?
and like
how does someone ask will you go out with me ?
wanna be my gf?
or what !?
helpppp
well, if you really want to go out with them too, just look them in the eyes, smile, and say yes.
usually i try to just flat out ask "do you want to go out with me?"
i know other people that ask it in more of an indirect manner, like "we should hang out" and stuff like that
just do what feels right to you.
My bf and I have been dating for 3 weeks, we started dating at the end of school so we don't get to see each other much cause he can't come to my house or anything and my parents wont let me go out anywhere.
We call each other ocasionally (well I call him)
and we talk for a couple of hours
At first, he was hard to work with because he doesn't trust anyone
But I earned his trust, and now we're really good.
I like him a whole lot & I don't want us to end up fighting all the time.
Lately, he hasn't called/answered my calls
or messaged/answered my messages
today I read his messages from other people
and some girl said
we can still be friends but there are limitations.. dont send me a message more then 3 times a day unless im talking. stop poking me..dont call my cell b/c im running out of minutes..
to him
I dunno if it's an ex or what
but it kind of scares me
I trust him enough not to cheat on me
But I just want to know what you think of this
(SORRY FOR THE LENGHT)
hmmm
i don't think he's cheating
it sounds like an ex. that's the sort of thing exes say "we can still be friends but there are limitations." just looks like he's hung op on this girl.
but i do think there's an issue with you trusting him if you're reading his messages.
okay well i saw you answer someone elses question. and i have a problem of my own... well okayy so wen anyone asks me who i like i say i dont like anyone. well, i dont know if i do. there's a ton of people i think i might be stuck between, but i dont know if i like them or not? one guy is younger than me and i met him about 3 weeks ago. we talk all the time now and hes so sweet, another guy older than me (we talk a lot online and someitmes in person) we used to hang out a lot as friends but not anymore, another guy older than me (we talk a lot online but hes shy in person). do you think i actually have feelings for them or wat? i noe this is really lame but i think it might show you wat situation im in. well i was having a sleep over with my best friend and before we went to bed we talked about guys in general and that in our dream "the guy" was gonna show up and we would know who we liked. i woke up and my friend dreamt about one guy but i dreamt about all those three guys. and its not random because i think i have feeling for all of them. im really confused because im usually the person telling people that they cant like 2 people at once.
sorry for it being so long and i appreciate ur help ;)
hmmm this is a hard one
well with the way you've described them, it seems that you DO like all three of these guys. it's happened to me before, and the best way to deal with it is to just hang out with all three of them separately. you'll eventually start having stronger feelings for one of them, and that's just the way it goes.
thanks for picking me by the way
I like this guy and i think he likes me back but I am not sure. Anyhoo I was wondering if there are any flirty things i can do or say when I am with him to hint that I like him.
Thanks
look him in the eyes and smile
compliment his looks/personality/clothes
tell stupid jokes
just be nice to him
if you really like the guy, just tell him. we guys love it when girls do that.
How do you make out? Any tips? Please don't just tell me that it comes naturally, I want to know how exaclty...
Tongue movement
How not to make it awqward
Where to put your hands
Anything extra ...
Thanks
1. your tongue should just playfully touch his. don't shove it in to his mouth, just stick it out a little. he'll probably do the same. run it along his teeth or his tongue.
2. just don't do it in front of a bunch of people or in a public place. it won't be awkward if you really like the guy.
3. just put them around him, like around his neck. you can also run them through his hair, down his back, that kinda thing.
4. just remember don't shove your tongue down his throat and BREATHE! you have to breathe through your nose otherwise it gets awkward.