cheney232's advice column | cheney232's Advice About Love Life

askcheney232

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: 16/f okay so there is this boy who i am really falling for. and he is one of those boys that you know you shouldnt like and he doesnt hit my usual criteria but for some reason he is wrong in all the right ways. so there are alot of people that are against me and him (arent going out yet, supposedly asking me out tomorrow)...anyways alot of people are against it(younger sister,friends,best friend) cause he doesnt exactly have the best reputation with girls. i guess you could say he was somewhat of a player. But i see him diff. then everyone else. i truly feel that he likes me. and yes i know that i am taking a risk and that i might end up getting hurt but i am willing to take that risk for some odd reason. i know i will regret it if i dont do this and i feel like i need to. but my question is am i a total idiot??? i mean i tried not to falll for him .....I TRIED SOOO HARD. but i couldnt help it. i love the way he holds me and kisses me and truly listens to me. any advice????!!! thanks for reading

i think.... if its what you want which you already got then see how it works out. you know your smart and so does everyone else just dont forget who your friends are! k? promis you wont?!

Q: whats the difference between loving someone and being in love with them?

this is it, honestly you will know. and everyone has thier own version of being in love. but the diffrence to me would have to be when you love someone youcan tell and your just like whateve but when your in love everyone else can tell. its like electricity going through your body and you think about them all the time. but honestly you really have to think the most confussing is are you in love or lust

Q: this isnt really advice im just curious. one day this question popped into my head and ive been thinking about and asking other people as well. i already have an opinion of it but id like other perspectives. the question is, do you think one can be deep IN LOVE with another person, if the feeling isnt mutual? not just love them but be truly IN love. also could you please explain why or why not for your answer =] thanks.

ofc ourse you can. the thing is, the reason you fall in love with the person in the first place is becasue of the person they are, you dont like them because they like you. you like them because of who they are. which means you dont fall in love or say your in love because someone is in love with you, or says it. you fall in love because they are incrediable and ofr the person they are. so yes you can its simple :D

Q: i dont knw what to do right now.... i feel likemy whole life is falling apart and i dont know what to do about it!!1 i just want to break down. tomorrow is the kast day i can see the guy i like for i dont know how long.... i dont think i am going to ever see him cause we dont go to the same school and we dont even live in the same area and i hate it!!! i actually find the right guy and i will probably nevere see him again and this whole thing is never going to work out!!!! i dont think anyone can help but any ideas????? :((( please help b4 o go crazy

well first off calm down! take a breather and think if you really like this guy try the saying "love conquers anything" try seeing eachother on the weekends. and do whatever it takes to make it work you know, you sound just like my friend brittany...wierd huh?:)

Q:
So i'm 15/F
and i was wondering to the girls that have gotten fingered before.. how does it feel ? because some of my friends told me that it hurts, and thats one reason why i don't want to be fingered.. And also i just started wearing tampons, and for the first time it hurt alooot, so i have no idea if fingering is the same way, i really am curious haha. (:

ok,ok so this makes me laugh knowing someone out thier feels the same as i did. trust me it doesnt hurt at all! i'll my friends told me it was gonna hurt really abd too, but then it happened and i was just like "hey this doesnt hurt" lol you will like it :)

Q: i want to know if im considered a racist. i can be friends with black people, i have 3 black friends but i can never picture myself dating or having sex/children/marrying a black guy. is this racism or just prefrences?

i would say its just preverence relax about it lol im the exact same way. its chill

Q: i've never had a boyfriend, im 15 and i've kissed one person.....i really just want to have a boyfriend, that and to get more experienced, but, how?

sweetie let me tell you right away boys are definetly and never should be the first priority, let your mood go and what ever happens, happens. flirt alitlte and make them no where your coming from but guys hate it when you try super hard for you to get tehm to notice you. just relx and fun with life, you never need experience at these kind of things tehy just fall into place with relationship stuff. i promis you'll be fine :)
hope i helped

Q: Today my boyfriend and I were making out, and he put his hand up the back of my shirt. He has done that many times before and its fine. Nothing else happens. But today he kind of made his way to the front and tried to get up to my chest. I didn't say anything. I just kind of subtly put my arm in his way and he stopped. He didn't try again and I never told him to stop so I can't blame him, but I got really upset. I actually started crying which was weird because I don't cry much at all, but I tried to hold it back, and I told him it was just my contacts bothering me. He kept asking what was wrong but I couldn't tell him. I could only say "I don't know". I can't get myself to say the words. I want to wait a while and I know he cares about me, I'm sure he would be willing to wait till I'm ready for that. But I don't know how to tell him. He's shy about things like this when you actually talk to him about them so I think telling him face to face might be really difficult.
HOW do I tell him? When can I bring it up? How do I put it into words? What do I say to him exactly?

well make sure you tell him soon so that things dont get ou tof control. trust me no boy will make a big deal about it. for the most part if your not ready then your not. just kinda of cassually slip the conversation in thier by saying i need to talk to you he will say what and you can say well you know the other day...... and so on hope i helped

Q: What are ways other than flirting to tell boys you like them without actually telling them?

lay it down, not all guys really understand and unless it is told to them thier way to oblivious to know, stay firm at what your doing and kind of make it obvious laot just kinda of like poke him in the arm nd he'll do it back and yeah :)

Q: When/what age did you figure out you were bisexual? How did you know?

I'm really close to my friend and she's always been there for me and I just love her so much, but i've never felt this way about any other , only guys. Do you think I could be bisexual?

I'm 14.

lets ee its poosiable you could be, or it could be an experimenting thing when you just become so close in a relationship with someone tah tanything can happen. dont sweat it and just sort i tall out

Q: ok so in 8th grade i went out with this guy and i really liked him. but then we broke up. well now we are juniors in high school and we are still friend but i still really like him, i never really got over him. he knows i still like him and somtimes it seems like he likes me back but other times it dosent and i dont know if i should let it go or keep holding on. please help!

hey katie :)

Q: okay so i have just gotten over this one guy that i have liked for a bit and all and i am all good now with that. but now there is a new guy in my summer school class and for the past two weeks we have been having a really good time. he is the type that will come up to me and talk to me and he is a REALLY big flirt and i like that. anyways well my one friend met him in person and said that we would be really cute together and she liked him(friend way) and that she knows that he likes me or watever. and then my other friend went on his myspace and decided that he was a player and that he probably isnt the best. now i dont know what to do i mean i am beginning to really like this guy and i have no clue what to do. i dont think he is a player and he is realy sweet but my friend is determined that he isnt good. any suggestions?? thanx!!1

well first off if a friend senses he isnt good then listen they wouldnt be doing it just for the hell of it, thiers obviously something thats not right, and you should never doubt your friends in something like this espeacially a girlfriend, friends are ten times better then boys. mean while if you like him then find out for yourself, i mean you live once and thiers always that chance you take where you have to say what if, so do what you think is right no matter what the consequences.
hope i helped

Q: okay well i have been having a problem lately. so its summer and you know how the whole fling thing goes and all. well there has been a few guys here and there but nothing major. now i tell my bff about them and she listens but now it seems like she is getting mad about it. cause i will have this one guy and then another comes along so i get to now him a little bit better and then end up liking him. this has happened a few times and now i dont know what to do, i have finally found the guy that i like but she doesnt believe me because she thinks that he is like all the others but he isnt!!! and i know that you probably think that now too but i promise you.......i really like this guy. so how do i get my friend to believe me? i have tryed talking to her but that isnt working out so well. i just want her to accept that i really like him and be there for me. pleeze help!!

wow, lol this sounds like me and my bff anywho, well if you really like him then you really like him , i mean it shouldnt matter what anyone else thinks but you anyways. and im sure she isnt mad at you because if she is your best friend then sure it may take some time, but she will get over it. just reemebr dont argue about it because friends are always way more important then a boyno matter what the circumstances are.just talk to friend. let me know how it goes
if you need more help your welcome to email me
nayez23@yahoo.com

Q: okay i only have a week and a half left to get this guy to admit that he likes me and ask me on a date or something. he is in my class and i really like him and he may like e...idk though. how can i get him to notice me or something!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

well just play it cool. i mean you wouldnt just think he likes you for no apparent reason, which obviously means he flirts with you and he wouldnt do it unless he didnt like you, although he could just be their to hit it and quit it idk though. just go for it does he know you like him??

Q: ok well i have a problem i have liked guy for almost 2 years and i cant get him out of my head...i cant to get over him i just dont know how.... all my friends have been telling me i need to but its not as easy as it looks and i feel they just dont get it. i am getting really annoyed with thm!!!!!!!pleze help me before i go crazzzzzyyyy!thanx

well in your case i completely know what your goin through well my bestfriend is in the same position, but just calm down getting mad wont help anything so relax about it and when your ready to get over him you will. its ok to let your friends say what they want becasue they are just looking out but everybody know thast when you really like someone your not just gonna get over them i na mtter of words , so when the time comes around yo uwil land you need to let them no that. if you wnat email me im very good with this stuff nayez23@yahoo.com

Q: wazzup my cracker my love life suks i mean only one guy likes me and i dnt wnt to be with him but he really wants to be with me he always calls me beautiful and stuff and i havent seen him for 2 years and he still likes me

ok well the best thing to do is let him know how you feel, if you lie to him or lead him on your gonna end up hurting both you in the end. if you dnt want to be wit hhim let him no(nicely of course) but still. and for him he cant help who he likes and hew ill let go little by little espeacially if he hasnt seen you in two years. so just play it cool ,and things will fall into place.
p.s. may i ask who this is?

Q: 15/M There is this girl who i know used to like me a lot. Im not sure if she still does. I never thought i had feelings for her before, but now i realize i do... a lot. I was annoying when i talked to her a couple days ago, and now she wont pick up when i call her. Do you think i still have a chance with her or shld i give it up?i havnt called/txtd/ or IMed her for like 2 days now, when would be the right time to approach her and how shld i do it.

now. if you like her like you say you do tehn go for it, le thre know. for her its harder though because she liked you and didnt want t oget hurt so she pushed herself away but she still does cause you can tatomatically just stop liking someone, go for it fast though, talk and see what ahppenes.

Q: Ive known this guy for like 2 years now. We've been best friends since we first met. Over the time i've fallen in love with him. He says he only loves me as a friend. But, sometimes he acts like he wants to be my boyfriend. Hes starting to confuse me. He'll do anything for me. Hes soo sweet. When I make him mad at me, he'll end up giving in because he hates not talking to me. He says it kills him.
How do I get over him? everytime it seems i do, he draws me back in. Even if i have a boyfriend!

wow ok so i know exactly how you feel, and the best thing to remember is everything happenes for a reason, and if you try to force yourself to stop liking him, your just gonna end up falling even harder, so play it cool and relax. soon but surely you wont relize it yourslef but you will eventually find taht he isn tthe one and youve become so close that if you ended up goin out it would hurt both of you.
but try talking to him about let him know how yo ufeel, it wont hurt to try and you will neevr know if you dnt.
hope i helped

Q: okay so i really like this guy and everyone thinks that he likes me. And i am not really sure but it does seem like it sometimes. Like if i act like i like him or call him he is okay but he kind of acts like whatever. And then the next day i will hardly say anything to him and he will be all over me like hugging me and throwing food at me and stuff. And i knoe the saying 'all guys want what they cant have' but i really dont get it. What can i do to make this guy like me always???he tells people he doesnt want a gf so does that mean he is one of those "player"types?? please help!
Thanx

it dosnt mean that he is a player, it could just mean that he wants to date and mingle and have fun i mean alot of guys do that in fact alot of people in general do that it could just be because they are afriad of getting in a relationship or comittment! he probably dosnt flirt with you the days you flirt with him becuase he wants you to realize he wants to make the first move, and that hes man enough to do it!
well the best thing to do is, dont listen to what your friends are saying rather its true or not, cause you will only know if you personally ask him or get him to let you know some how. maybe he dosnt want people in your buisness ask him you might be suprised

Q: I love you shenaye darling who wont even go to my birthday par tay!

im sorry kid

bio

ok lets see well my name is
Shenaye and im 16 years old.my life is'nt perfect but then again not alot of peoples are.i guess you can say i care about things way to much but i just like to say im sensitive. I'm very emotionally attached to people but I rather love then never know the feeling. I love giving people advice, I learn to listen to people's problem's more and more each day, My friends say I'm really good at it. It may not always be right but at least its something to fall back on if nothing else works right? anyways I've been through alot more in my life then alot of people can say they have: family,love,friends,abuse,drugs,suicicde attempts. and many more I dont like to really talk about it but I know its made me a way stronger person then I once was.
My friends are my life you mess with them i'llpull an operation beatdown on you