about

About Myself: Hey, my name is Jena and this is my Advice Column. I am 16 years old and I love to help people. I have been through so much (more than anyone could imagin for just being 16, and alot more then most people go through in a life time)! I had to grow up fast and because of that I can relate to most people about everything. Feel free to leave something in my Inbox about anything you want, I'm always looking to meet new people.
My interests: Hanging out with my Friends -they're the best!, Cheerleading, Music (mostly Country and 80's Rock/Metal), Dancing, Sleeping, Partying, Shopping and just being Myself.

advice

whats the gynocologist do? Is it painful? what age do you go at? how often do you go? once a year? twice a year? what? and why do we go?

the gyno checks to make sure that your vag is ok, like to make sure that there is no infection and no cancer. she also checks for breast cancer. it is not painful at all.. i actually couldnt feel anything, maybe a little pressure but thats it. you usually have to go once a year when youre older, however i have to go every 3 months for check ups on my birthcontrol. you can start at any age really, but usually about 16ish or so. some ppl dont go at all till they are adults. but i dont know, i was scared to go at first but im ok with it now.

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What's the step below going out? This guy said he likes me and wants to be the step below going out, because he doesn't think "going out" at this age is a good idea. We're more than friends though, I know that.. Any ideas on what it could be?

he means that he doesnt want to be boyfriend and girlfriend but he wants to date. you can be seeing someone but not actually be their girlfriend. like you hang out do things like hold hands, cuddle, and maybe even kiss. but your not actually taken. you are still considered single.- its something that as you get older you tend to do. its a "adult" relationship.

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well theres this guy that ive been dating for like the past 2 months or so and we both really like each other and we liked that we were dating but not officially b/f and g/f.. well ive decided that i like him enough to be with him but he says he still doesnt want a g/f and see im 14 and hes about to turn 18 ( tomorrow actually ) and about to graduate so i mean for one im jailbate or whatever you wanna call it and hes about to move on and i can kinda understand why he doesnt want a g/f but then at the same time he always says he doesnt care if i go on a date with another guy but whenever he even thinks i might like a diff guy he gets jealous and he calls me his baby and everyone associates us together so i dont know what to do -- ive talked to him about it before and hes just said he doesnt have the answers.. all he knows is that hes really grown to care for me and trust me but he isnt sure he wants a g/f right now.. what should i do? wait around or give up?

hey sweetheart~ i look at this and 2 things come to mind. i see that 1. he is too old and is just with you to get what he wants and will move on and be an ass. bc most guys are. but then im one to talk.. thats where the other thought comes in. 2. i myself was involved with someone who was 5 and a half years older than me when i was 14. hell i was 13 when we really started to get close. we too never had the "labels" but we both knew we were kind of eachothers. the thing is, noone really new and when they started to find out he kind of backed off.(where i say ass) lol. but it was bc he didnt want either of us to get into trouble bc i was jailbait. we are still great friends and still have a thing, but not like it was.(he wants to get back together but i dont!) i should say that your too young and that you need to find someone your own age, but im not like that- i understand and believe that you can truely care about someone that much older and i know that that they can care for you! but heres the thing- you can get into alot of serious trouble and i just want to make sure that you're aware of that. but i do however think that if you do truely think that this could work with the 2 of you, then yes i would wait. i did. he always said he didnt want a girlfriend so i waited. BUT if you do start to like another guy dont feel guilty and back off. go for the other guy if the guy your dating is still in his "i dont want a girlfriend" stage. dont just give up, but dont just wait and not allow yourself to have feelings for other guys. i really hope that things work out for you for the better hun! if you have anything you want to ask me or talk to me about this subject feel free to Im me on AIM. my screen name is (BeautEful WithN). good luck- xoxo Jena

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hi im am 13 and i am a female. well i like this guy that goes to a different skewl that me. he is relly funny and nice and that is relly wut i look 4 ina guy. but he doesn't have very good quality in the "looks deparment". if i told my friends i liked him then they would laugh and tease me about it. what do i do?

hun, what you need to think about is what will make YOU happy, not your friends. i know that 13 is a hard age and that your friends mean anything to you, but you need to make sure that you dont let them rule your life. if they are really your friends then they should understand and respect your decision. if they cant and will tease you then they really arnt that good of friends. i know that it might be hard to face them but you need to let them know how you feel. and if you really do like this guy, go for it. i know its hard to let your friends say stuff about you, but babe i know that as long as you stay possitive and believe in what feel and stick up for it, you will be a stronger person.. like me!:0) i hope that everything works out for you- sorry its taken me a little while to answer it. good luck.

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how do i get over someone i like? he has been such a jerk but for some odd strage reason i still get attracted to him! like he tells every grl the same thing like i love you more than anything and bs like that.. what sould i do tp get over him?
ps u are gorgeous wow!!
x ♥ x ♥ Michelle

first of all thank you sweetie. anyways- to tell you the truth its harder than anything to get over someone - sadly =(! the best thing to do is to completely ignore him. if you talk to him online, block him. if you see him in school, walk a different way or whatever so that you dont have to see him. if you cant prevent that bc hes in a class just dont look at him. you need to stop calling him or talking to him when he calls you. just say away. i know that its easier said then done, but believe me babe, i know from experience on this one.. if you just stay away and do things to keep him off your mind, you will forget about him. it might take some time, but it will work. good luck and take care- Jena

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my boy friend and i recently broke up .. because i was mad at him.. so he dumped me.. and i no i dhouldnt feel upset.. but i do.. how do i cheer myself up. kas it doesnt feel like anything has changed.. it feels like we r still goin out. how do i get over it?

hun, you have every right to be upset because your boyfriend dumped you! that is so stupid that just because you were mad at him that he dumped you! what you need to do is talk to him, i mean if it still feels like your going out and hes acting the same way then talk to him about it. see why your not together again. it is really hard to get over a broken heart.. i know! but like if things still feel like your goin out then im sure that you want to be so i think you need to just talk to him and be honest. express your real heart filled feelings. but if you do want to get over it the only thing you really can do is stay away from him. i hope that this helps .. good luck! xoxo

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I am 14, in ninth grade, and I am female.

Okay, first I'm going to give a little backround information.

I had a boyfriend that tried to cheat on me with his ex girlfriend. I knew that I couldn't trust him ever again, so I broke up with him yesterday. Don't worry, I feel really good about it.

Well, a few days ago, I found out from one of my friends that another friend of mine, Ricky, likes me. At first, I wasn't sure I could trust the friend that told me, T.J., because T.J. is weird like that. Then, my best friend Megan told me yesterday that Ricky has liked me for a long time.

My question is, is it okay to go ahead and date Ricky so soon after dumping my previous boyfriend?

~ClarinetKtM

well heres the thing. i dont know how long you and your ex were dating. if it was for a long time then no it wouldnt be good, however if the 2 of you wernt together all that long- then there is no problem with it. the only thing that i would say im worried about even tho i dont know you, is what people are goin to say about you going from boyfriend to boyfriend; because no offence to you but freshman tend to be really immaure about things like that. however your ex is a creep and if it wasnt that long of a relationship im sure people wont start saying anything. but if it was a long relationship and even though you might be glad its over it just wouldnt look right. i hope that helps any.. good luck!

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my boyfriend is my best friend. we were together for 4 months in the past and now weve been together for 3 months. we have so much fun together, when were not fighting. but were always fighting it seems. he says bad things about himself or how he doesnt think we will ever be fully open with eachother, even though were both trying to be. He gets jealous really easily and he thinks hes just another guy to me.... and hes not and I have told him that soooo many times. I dont know what to do but I want all the fighting to stop. Please help.... thanks!

hey sweetheart.. i typed something before about not having time so if you read it, ignore it. anyways heres the thing. its really good that your boyfriend is your best friend, but since the 2 of you are best friends shouldnt you be able to talk and be fully open with eachother? the guy im involved with is also my best friend and has been for many years- and we are totally honest and open with eachother about everything- even if it may cause us to fight. your boyfriend is going through that stage where he thinks that hes not good enough and that hes going to lose you. that can be bad, but not if handle it right. the fighting is resulting my guess is from him being jealous and you getting mad that he is and blah blah blah! BUT im glad that the 2 of you are tryin to be fully open with eachother.. thats a great start! ok so here is what you need to do tho. you need to sit your boyfriend down (even tho youve told him many times before) you need to let him know that hes not just another guy. you have to reasure him that he has no need to be jealous of other guys because hes the one that your with, and that you had the chance after the last time you broke up to be with other guys.. but that your just not interested. let him know again that he is the only one that you are interested in. let him know and show him how much you care for him and appreciate him. i know that this might not seem great but believe it or not, the fact that the 2 of you can fight and work it out is a really good thing!! that proves that the 2 of you are ready to be in this commited relationship and that the 2 of you really want to be with one another. his confidence is low because hes goin through that stage- but dont worry all guys do so it is normal. but since its low you need to take that into consideration and not get so frustraighted with him. im sure that if you sit down and talk and be OPEN and HONEST and speek from your heart the 2 of you will be fine and everything will be alright. but i hope that this helped you out. i want to wish you the best of luck!
xoxo -Jena

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Ok. My boyfriends dads, halfbrothers, half son seems to always hit on me whenever i see him and my boyfriend always gets mad at me. when we went to the movies and him and his bestfriends, sisters friend was there.. he was like all over me and then me and my boyfriend left the bowling ally with his step-brothers dad.when we got in the car my boyfriend was extremly upset with me... how do i make this stop?

sweetie what you need to do, is sit your boyfriend down and talk to him and let him know that you are having no part in it. let him know that you dont like this guy and that he is doing it against your will. you need to make sure he knows how much you care about him. try asking him why he gets upset with you over it, and let him know how hurt and upset you get when he wrongfully accuses you. bottom line is- you just have to be completely honest with your boyfriend and make sure he knows your feelings. i hope everything works out with the two of you! good luck!

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okay, the guy i really like just asked me out. yay. but the down side is hes punk. and im prep. i kno i kno it shouldnt matter. but if i go out with him i kno pplz are gonna look at me different, think im different and treat me different. i cant stand it. i really like this guy help me, should i or shouldnt i go out with him???

sweetheart, i say that you should! "i kno i kno it shouldnt matter" well if you know then why are you really questioning it? i look at it as, let people say or think that they want. if they know you and respect you then they should be understanding. all that really matters is what you think and how you feel. dont let your feelings be shadowed by this superficial society! if you give in and let what others think or say affect you then in the long run you will be unhappy and regret it. i wisk you luck and i hope everything works out.

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I like this guy.. a lot. But all my friends say he's a dork and crap and I really don't think soo... I know I should listen to them but its hard not to, I mean, they're my friends!! What should I do? Choose the guy over my friends or vica versa?

hun, you dont have to "choose" one or the other. if you really like this guy and your friends are really your "true" friends then they should understnad and be respectful to your feelings. they should support you. just tell them upfront that you would like their support and if they cant give it, then to atleast keep their comments to themselves. good luck with everything.

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Hey, I'm stuck in this bad situation. I like two guys. Well, one guy I like is really sexual, like I've never done anything with him, of course since I'm only 14.. And the other guy well hes like great, he always calls me beautiful and really cares for me but always says that I like the other guy. Who would you choose? I think I have an idea, but I'm not so sure. Thanks!

hey sweetheart. well if you ask me i would choose the GREAT guy. not know does he know how to treat you, i dont think that you will end up in a sticky situation like you would with the other guy. i think that the other guy might try to force something on you that you arnt ready for. so i say go for the nice guy! in the long run, its a better choice. good luck tho babe.

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there is this guy i like that says i am to young for him but i am bout be 16 and he just turned 17. i think this might be an excuse but he acts like he likes me.am i "too young"? i don't have a clue what should i do is there any way to show him i am not to immature and how do i talk to him about it? he also told me his last g/f was B**** and she was immature and she was my age. could this be why? i really think it might be an excuse. plz help i really do need it!

hey sweetheart, yes if you ask me i have to say that this is JUST an excuse. i think that he was really hurt by his last girlfriend and he doesnt watn to show anything. you are NOT to young! age shouldnt matter when it comes to how you feel! i think that what you need to do, is just give him some time. if he does really like you then he will come to you, and if not then you dont need him! you dont need to be treated like crap from a creep that gives you lame excuses! i hope that everything works out for you babe.

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we just started going out and i have a feeling that he has girls that he flirts with and makes out with and stuff. I know he likes me and i like him so much but i'm affraid he just wants to have sex with me. I cant talk to him about because he gets all touchy.What should i do?

ok if you 2 are goin to have a good relationship, he should and would be willing to talk to you about it. you cant have a relationship with someone that you cant talk to or be truthful with. you need to talk to him, and if he cant talk to you about it, then you really need to rethink if you really want to be with him. i know that you like him alot but babe think about it, you dont want to be put into a situtation that you are uncomfortable with. id hate to have anything happen to you just because you couldnt talk to your boyfriend.

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I have a bf but it seems like all he wants to do is hug,kiss,and hold hands, and cudle. I am just scared bc my last relationship didint workout and all my ex wanted 2 do was hug,kiss,hold hands ,and cudle. so i just dont want 2 hurt anyone or even get hurt wat do i do?

ok, what you need to do, is sit down and talk to your boyfriend about what you are comfortable with. if you feel like you are being pressured at anytime you need to let him know. if the only reason he is with you is so that he can get something, then thats not right. if you let him know how you feel and he is ok and understanding about it, then everything will be ok and you wont get hurt. if he is however just with you to get some, then you need to get rid of him before he gets the chance to hurt you.

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