So this is my story...Iv dated this guy for a few months in high school (2012) we then broke up and got back together a few months after then but then broke up again (2013) Last year april i askd him if i can add him on facebook cause i have a new account and he said yes and since then almost everyday we spoke to each other we started hanging out once or twice on a monthly basis so we have been seeing eachother for a year and 6 months now i thought there was hope that we would get back together again,everything was just perfect it felt like we were meant to be..a few months ago in august everythng just suddenly changed he stopped speaking to me,and only shows up and replies when he wants to..it was his birthday recently 31oct and i texted him but he didnt reply so then i phoned him to wish him..since then i havent heard from him,i texted him monday and tuesday asking why hes so quiet,i dont hear frm hm anymore and then asking him if i can see him soon and then i tried phoning him but he didnt pick up so i texted hm making up an excuse saying it wasnt me and then texd hm asking if he got my msgs bt then he ddnt reply so i tld hm sorry bout all those msgs i just wntd to talk to him but il leav hm alone now..i still havent heard anything from him,he probably never even read the msgs and just deleted it cause hes always online i just dont exist to him anymore..about 2wks ago he told me he likes being around me he just dont like how clingy iv gotten...its not that im clingy i just wana knw why hes acting this way,we use to speak almost everyday but now i t feels like all i ever do is annoy him and be clingy i told him it felt like it was the last time im ever gona see him so he said no he dont think so unles its wat i want so i said no i dmt want our friendship to end so he said it wont happen he is just full of shit lately and hes not keen on clingy...But now i dont know anymore cause it feels like i lost him and everything is over because i was bombardin hm with all those texts..iv decided to stay away though and not contact him anymore..i dont think i will ever hear from him away..or do you hink if i keep my distance long enough he will mayb show up again..is there still hope for us to be friends and to speak again..do u think hes silence is his way of saying leave him alone..i dont know what i did wrong and he dont want to tell me why hes acting so all he says is that hes not keen on people anymore ..i need advice on what to do and how to handle this situation i havent textd him for 2 days now im just staying away..do you think he will msg me again? im just so scared cause its all i ever think about please help i ddnt mean to come off as clingy and texting hm constantly,im sorry :( i just miss him and the way how things use to be, but i gues iv pushed and chased him away because of it
It sounds like something happened between the time you spoke to him all the time and he stopped speaking to you. And maybe he doesn't want to talk to you about it. You have every right to ask any question you want but ultimately it's his choice to answer those questions. He has asked you for space, so at least you know he has acknowledged your concern. Friendship is a two way street and if he has told you he doesn't want to be in communication every day, and you two are just friends, then you should leave it at that until he is ready to want more. I can't tell you whether or not you should have hope because I don't know what's going through his mind. All I can say, is if you still want him as friend in you life, continue to show him you're there for him in the way he likes it. He told you he liked to spend time with you, so I wouldn't say you've pushed him away or chased him but remember, it has to be a two way effort, not just you doing all the work.
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It's gross, especially when it's overt and/or persistant. I thought a relationship was meant to be between 2 people? Why do some couples try to get other people's attention? I noticed yesterday at the mall. There was this interracial couple all over each other, as we stood in line at this food place, and i'd focus on other things but they'd sometimes look back with this look on their face line they want their relationship to interest people, incite anger or jealousy, etc. it was awkward for me, directly behind them, and others in line. I have no problem with any couple, interracial, gay, lesbian, transgender, one young and one old, etc. I'm happy others can find love and be in relationships. I'm not jealous either, it's just uncomfortable to essentially be viewing foreplay without consent. There were children in line, too. Some people seem to get a sexual thrill out of people seeing their pda and that just seems sick and self centered. It makes me understand why there are countries that ban it.
Hey, I'm all for banning excessive PDA. Some people have no shame, especially when little eyes and ears are around. They do get a thrill from trying to gain attention from those that do surround them and why, I don't know. PDA makes me feel uncomfortable knowing that other people are watching. I guess these are just some things about society that we have to accept. If two people ( a couple) choose to see life the same way, there's nothing we can really do to stop them.
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So there's this guy at my work that I like, and we've been texting each other back and forth pretty often. Before reading week ended, I gave him this gift card to a sushi restaurant and he said we should go, and asked me to go to dinner! He picked me up and dropped me off home but didn't make any move. All throughout dinner it was really nice, it never felt awkward , but I just couldn't read him. Fast forward a few days, I texted him a "so do you know what I was craving today ?! Crepes ! Haha When are you free ? We should go out sometime !" And he replied "Haha I had some on my birthday! But I'm still down for crepes! We should go after exams are done! We can celebrate all of the A's we got haha" . Does it seem like he's interested in me ?? There were other instances where we were talking about soccer and I said I would watch him play over the summer and he said that he'll score a goal for me, or the time when he said he'll buy me green tea kit kat when he goes to Japan cause it's my favourite, or like how he'll teach me ukulele because I'm teaching him violin .... Like does it seem like he just thinks of me as a friend or more ?
Right now I think it's a bit too early to tell but there is some interest in there. Considering he's willing to go out again and said he'd score a goal for you, those are definitely good signs that he likes your company. I'd say hang in there and see where it goes. :)
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I'm 20 and I broke up with my first love a year ago. I loved him with every fibre in my being and did literally everything for him, even if it went against my morals. I spent all the money I had on getting him expensive gifts and I stuck with him, even when he couldn't care less about me. When we broke up because of the fact that he didn't wanna deal with commitment, at this stage in his life, he wasn't upset, not even for a day. It's been over a year and I've been the only one carrying all this pain and I've been holding so much hope that we could get back together, someday. We still see each other and he kisses me and that's what gave me hope that he still likes me. But last night, he told me that he'd never even think of marrying someone like me and that he needs a submissive kind of girl who doesn't pick up on the wrong things he does, like I did.I always picked up on all his lies and everything he hid from me. It hit me all at once, last night that he's been using me this past year and using my vulnerability. I cried in front of him for two hours straight and he kept saying the same things like "You're not my first love so I can't hold that much love for you" and "I told you I didn't want a relationship" "My first made me lose all my emotions" . I don't know why I'm so attached to him or why I'm even this devastated over a jerk like him. I just need someone to talk some sense into me. I worry, that I'll never be good enough for someone. What else can I do for someone to make them appreciate me? I allowed him to cross so many limits of mine and went above and beyond for him, and I get this, in return. How will I expect the next guy in my life to appreciate what I'll do for him and not break my heart again?
From a third party perspective, I can see that this relationship is not healthy. Nor is it one I think you should try to be in. I understand how great it is to feel to be able to love and appreciate someone but you have to understand that a relationship involves that feeling both ways. If you are not receiving what you give, then you are not in a good relationship. To think that this is the only guy for you is something you should truly not worry about. He's basically telling you he doesn't want you but you keep running back to him. You have to remember guys are guys, if you are giving them what they want, they will never tell you to leave. You should truly find it within yourself to say that you don't need to be treated like this anymore. Strong people do not take anything lower than what they deserve. If you are willing to be a great girlfriend and give as much as you can, then until you find a guy willing to do just as much and more, you will not be in a good relationship. You should NEVER make someone appreciate you. When guys truly care about you, they do any and everything they can to make sure they make you theirs. The guy you are with now, has no intention of doing that. He clearly does not respect you or your wishes or your kind heart. You will only end up getting more hurt in the long run. Also, you must never judge all guys as the same. Just because one guy mistreats you or neglects you, does not mean every guy from there on will. People get comfortable with affection, without commitment, and clearly that is what this guy is doing to you, since you say you guys kiss. I just want you to know that, just because he kisses you does not mean he cares. It takes more than a kiss to hold people together. So please make the right choice and to leave. Seeing people let misery take over their life on purpose is quite angering. I know you know what you have to do, and I completely understand how hard it is. But he isn't the only guy. You just need to put yourself in the right environment with the right kind of people and sooner or later you will meet someone who will cherish everything you have to offer them. I hope this helps.
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i liked this girl i started dating who i thought was an innocent girl. in fact i didn't even try to kiss her until the third date because of how innocent i thought she was. well the thing is after i kissed her and don't ask me why we started talking about sexual experiences ( i thought she had practically none so what did i have to fear). well i found out she is what is known as a virgin slut or virgin whore, a girl who is still a virgin but has kissed around 40 guys and had blown off 4 guys just because she was horny and returning the favor after they had sucked her off.
i feel a little disgusted with the horny attitude with random guys in the past and don't know what i should think.
anyway, she is leaving the country for a year so we broke up but still talk as friends. we only kissed so i didn't even get blown off myself but she is going to do some religion studies outside the country, meaning no more sex life for at least that year (no kissing, no nothing). the thing is she went to Aruba as her last opportunity to party and i hate the feeling i get when i think about the certainty of she kissing at least a couple of guys a night (which really doesn't bother me that much)and the possibility of she sucking a guy off just because she is horny (that one does bother me).
i know this inst exactly a question but i need counsel from someone.
thanks in advance.
I honestly never heard that term before...virgin slut. Interesting... but anyway, I'm sorry that you are offended by a girl's past. Here's the thing, you can't date someone because they are innocent. Depending on how old you are, you cant expect each person you meet to be a saint. That's just reality. Also take into consideration your past and your history of what you've done. It might not compare to hers but no one's past is the same. In other words, holding her against what she did in the past before she met you should either 1) stop you from talking to her her completely or 2) analyze why her past history bothers you so much. Do you find her disgusting? or is it that she might be a lot more experienced than you?
If she leaves the country for a year to study, that doesn't mean she's not going to have a sex life. If she's single and uncommitted then she's free to do what she wants. You're experiencing jealousy and it is completely natural. But if her past is really that important to you, then your jealousy is going to grow because she will continue to see other guys and do what she's always been doing. If she is more important than her past, then you would try to give her the benefit of the doubt and try to start fresh with her. Yeah, she's had experience but I'm sure you have too. Also, she never actually had intercourse with them either so that should tell you something.
I think you should tell her that you are feeling a little insecure about the things she's done. Hey, kissing a lot of guys would mean that a lot of guys think shes attractive, right? But look, tell her you want commitment and trust. If she gives it to you 100% then you have nothing to fear!
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I've been in a relationship with a girl from overseas for almost two years. I'm a 26 y/o guy, and she's 24. She came with me here about a year and a half ago. I treat her well, romance her, buy her roses, bake her cakes, take her out when I have time, tell her that she's beautiful, help her look for work, and a lot with English.
Last year she started acting funny and talking about a guy, and I found out she cheated on me by looking at her phone, and reading her emails (Not saying this was right, just that I did it). I confronted her, but I never really felt she thought what she did was wrong. I promised not to look at her stuff again.
For the half year since then she's been using her phone a ton, and hiding it from me. Lately she has been getting calls and messages from the guy she cheated with on me again, so often that even though she doesn't want me to know, it's inevitable that I would see at some point. She gets pissed off over trivial things, she's stuck to her phone 24/7, we hardly ever have sex anymore, and sometimes I don't feel like she even wants to be here.
So I gave her time, and everything just felt kind of wrong. I broke my promise and checked up on her. She's still cheating on me, and things never really stopped. She tells me she's faithful, nothing has happened, and she loves me, but I know she's lying.
Recently she got offered her dream job in my country, and the contract process is happening fairly quickly. She's staying here on a Partner visa with me, and we live together. If I break up with her, she either has to leave within a month, or become illegal. Apart from that, it will obviously make my life more hellish for that month than it already is living with a person who you know is lying to you with a straight face, while making out with another guy. I know that she is planning to stay with me for the two years it will take for her to gain permanent residence, and then leave me for the guy she is cheating on me with.
In my country, you can only ever sponsor two people to be partners, and if your first partner is granted PR, the length your second one has to wait grows to 5 years, rather than just 2.
I don't know how to handle breaking up with her, and what to say to who, when. I don't want to be taken advantage of, or have my name smeared by this. Breaking up with her before she gets PR will pretty much destroy her whole life as she knows it. She quit her job to come here with me, which is kind of a black spot on her employment history in her home country. I feel angry and upset about what she has done to our relationship, but I'm still battling feelings of love for her, and I don't want to see her broken. I wish everything I know about what's happened could be a lie, but I know it's not, so I have to deal with it.
To complicate things, accepting the job involves costly medical and security checks for her, and may mean we consider moving. I'm at university, and I only just found this out, right before the exam period. I really don't want to think about this before exams, and I definitely don't want to break up with her just before my first exam, so I am putting it off, but I feel so guilty for "supporting" her through the process of getting checks and references for this job that I know will be difficult if not impossible for her to keep.
What would you do?
What should I tell her? The truth? Or that I've fallen out of love, but don't know why? Or that one of her friends told me the truth?
How do I deal with the stress of living together with this oblivious lying girl who tells me she loves me?
What should I do to handle the resistance that I'm likely to have to breaking up with her? She won't want to break up with me, because she wants PR.
Can you tell me some steps and the order in which I might do them?
Any other general advice about the situation that I haven't asked a specific question about is more than welcome.
Thanks in advance.
-Troubled
Well my first question is, what did you see on her phone that made you think she was cheating? Secondly, how are you tolerating a person who is cheating on you, living with you, while you are with her. Did you confront her about wanting to be with another guy at all? Because if she does, you have to tell her to leave. You clearly showed you cared about her. Maybe something was missing in the relationship but she should have at least told you what that was. Since she didn't, she must not care to fix it. I'd say let her new guy take care of her and you move on with your life. Tell her she has not been treating you the way you deserve to be treated. She's just using you.
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i am 13 and my boyfriend is 19. he wants to have sex with me ? what should i do ?
I highly advise against relationships with such a big age difference. Also, if you live in the US, it would be considered illegal for him to have sex with you.
I advise against these relationships because guys at that age, they are not mature enough to handle themselves in very strong relationships and the fact that you\'re 13, that\'s not something he would go around announcing to his friends and family. Ask yourself if his friends know about your relationship, or any one you know he is close to. Chances are, if you are not a part of his life outside of the moments you share, he is not in a relationship with u and only using you for sex. Don\'t make a decision that you will regret later.
And the fact that you chose to ask this question goes to show that you have concerns about this.
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Okay so I have been with my boyfriend for almost three months and, in my mind, things have seemed to be going okay. I'm 16 he's 15 and this is the first relationship for both of us, we're also both quite shy people so the relationship is moving quite slowly. We see each other most days at school and we've met up a few times at weekends and we don't text an awful lot. People say that we can't really class ourselves as being in a relationship and that we're being pathetic. I can kind of see what they're saying seeing as we don't make any physical contact with each other - we've awkwardly hugged once but that's as far as we've got.
I wouldn't mind moving things on a bit faster and being in contact with him more but I'm not really sure how to go about it. I have social anxiety so I am constantly scared of saying something wrong or annoying him by texting him too much.
Also, my best friend told me the other day that she and this other boy basically forced my boyfriend into asking me out. I had no idea about this now I'm worried that maybe he didn't have any intention of asking me out and he only did it to stop people bothering him.
On the other hand, he has bought me really nice presents for Christmas, Valentines Day and my birthday and always responds very quickly and positively whenever I suggest we meet up. He spends time with me at school rather than his friends and always seems to be happy spending time with me.
Basically I'm confused - I want a relationship that people don't class as pathetic but I don't know if that's what he wants.
I know its tough thinking he wasn\'t that into you if you think he didn\'t want to ask you out on his own first but dont let that get to you. The fact that he has asked u and has done all those nice things definitely makes up for it. No one can force another to ask someone out. He did it because he wanted to. Yes, he did get a little push but that\'s perfectly okay because maybe he was shy or didnt realize your feelings for him. This is all fine. Try not to let that bother you. A relationship is defined based on other peoples input, its defined based on how you and your partner feel about each other. If you want more out of the relationship, the honest best way to make it happen is to tell him. He has to notice that you are a strong minded person to know what you want out of your relationship. Just voice your opinion, in a nice way and hope he listens and understands. If you\'re ready to take the next step in the relationship, youre going to have to learn to be more open. This is where vulnerability comes in, where you risk a lot and it can either be really good or really bad. Chances are, based on what you told me, he seems interested enough to listen and understand you. Remember your boyfriend is supposed to be someone who you feel comfortable around, and it doesn\'t come like that. It takes time and it won\'t be easy, but you just have to put yourself out there and hope for the best. So please, just tell him. :)
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Hi. Ok so i was on my boyfriend instagram today and i came across some girl that his friend was dating. He liked 12 of her pictures and on one of the pictures my boyfriend asked her for her facebook. I don't know why he would ask her for that and especially liking all her pictures. I dont wanna talk to him because then hes going to think i was snooping around his instagram. What do you think about this or what would you do if it was you. I know if i did it he would be mad :(
I know its hard to think everything is okay when this is what he's doing. I'm 21 and I would personally feel it's a little crazy for that to be happening but you know what, you just have to take it with a grain of salt. Just let it be until you have physical proof that your boyfriend is actually cheating on you. It's not easy to ask him because it makes you look insecure, but just keep your head up and keep your relationship strong.
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Hi there, ive never done this before, asking for advice online but here goes.
Ive been broken up with my ex for about a year now, its taken me a long time to get back on my feet, im studying and life was going great! but in all honesty im finding it hard to let go!!! We hadn't talked for a while when all of a sudden he called me early hours of the morning but I purposely missed his calls cause I knew he would have been drunk. He also messaged saying that he misses me. I kinda knew he had been seeing a girl, so it shocked me when got in contact with me, but i was so happy to hear from him again. i asked him why he was calling me and he told me he was sorry and that he was just drunk! We texed for abit, and then the next day I seen photos of him and his new girl, I texd him but no reply. Im not angry at the fact he is seeing someone now, but I felt like he used me for comfort and purposely messed with my head. Everything was good up until he got in contact with me. My reaction wasn't so good, I sent him an angry txt about how he could even mess with my feelings and why he would do such a thing. I feel bad now and think that i should apologise or should i just let it be. I haven't heard from him since. He has a new gf which i am happy for him, it just hurt me that all of a sudden hes nice to me then the next day acts as if i don't exist. Now i feel like im back at square one again! Am i over reacting? im feeling like shit!
I don't think you're overreacting. In fact, I think it's quite normal. It does take a LONG time to get over an ex, especially if you had lots of happy times. Is it him that you miss, or is it the relationship that you had? You should ask yourself that question in order to help you move on. I had to with my previous relationship. When things come into perspective, you will feel a lot better. It's really rude of him to text you and make the excuse that he's drunk because he did it. If you know he has a girlfriend and you know there's no hope between you two, then you have to try your hardest to be strong and to fight to let go. I'm glad you sent him an angry text about how you feel because even if he didn't reply, he surely read it and at least he knows in the back of his mind how it makes you feel. Maybe by not replying, he's realized his mistake and the best thing to do is to let you go as well. I don't think you should apologize because if you're expecting another reply, you probably won't get one. Be strong in your decision to let go. Him acting as if you don't exist is probably his way of moving on from you. It's normal and I think you should try to do the same. Focus on school and your friends and you'll eventually meet someone new with no baggage or backstories. :)
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Hi,
I'm in intermediate and I like this boy at school and he is in the next door class. I'm taller than him. I like him so much that I think about him 24/7. I dream about him everyday and I think he's ADORABLE!! I told my best friend just recently and she keeps asking me why I like him. She thinks that he looks like a rotten tomato. What should I do??
Don't worry about what your friend thinks. Just be happy you think he's nice. I mean, imagine if she thought he was nice too and secretly wanted him. At least now you know you don't have to worry about your friend liking the guy you like. Just because she doesn't approve of his looks doesn't mean that you should stop liking someone.
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Well based on the subject, I want to ask how do you talk to the person you like?
I've seen him at school, the gym, even the library. Even though we've met because of an interview I did on him, I still couldn't say anything to break the ice to start a conversation and get to know him. I really like him
Please help me :(
The first thing to say is usually the hardest. Try to be in an area where he is and see what he's doing and just randomly say something when no one is around. Try to ask a question without personalizing it. For example, if you two have the same class, ask what the homework was. Or if you see him looking at a book you read before, you could say "you definitely have to check that book out, it's really good". Get it? Then you have to see what his response is and if he responds with interest and actually looks at you when he replies then you have his attention there.
It's really nerve wrecking to talk to the person you like, hands down but once you get past that first sentence, it becomes a lot easier.
:) Good luck. Message me for anything else you need.
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I've been dating a guy long distance for a few months. We are more or less "talking" because while we have hung out before, it was only as friends. Things became serious after he moved away and we realized just how much we liked each other. Or so I thought. A few months ago, we discussed visiting to see if we want to be in a real relationship or not. Around that time, I lost my job and he brought up the fact that I don't have anything keeping me at home anymore and if I would come stay with him. I was hesitant at first, but he was right. The only worry I had was how to pay for my bills and such. As time went by and I was preparing to move there, I realized just how serious he was about it and that he would not pursue a relationship with me if I didn't do this. We would just stop talking. We started fighting a lot as I didn't feel like this was fair. I asked if he could come see me first, test out the waters, and then if I felt okay with him, I would go back and live there. He said he has stuff to do, he has work, he has class. Which I understand. But why should I MOVE there if he can't make a trip out here? He says how expensive it is. It's going to be expensive to for me too. To make things worse, I found out him and his friends are planning a road-trip in the OPPOSITE direction as me, almost just as far as it would be to come and see me. Is it wrong to be mad about that? I don't know how to feel. Advice?
Hi there. It is a tough situation to be in with the guy being busy with school and his life and whatnot and you and yours. You are in two different places in reality more than mentally and that is a huge factor to consider. The fact that he offered you to stay with him shows that he has interest in you. What I don't understand is how serious his intentions are that you decided to move in with him. I guess he decided to think this through a lot and was worried that if it didn't work out, both of you would have been in lot of issues, even financially. Now that you've asked him to come see you and he's brushing you off, I would take it as a sign that he wants to move on with his life and it might be too hard for him to have a long distance relationship. He might probably feel that with you moving in with him, you'd be more of a burden than an asset because you don't have a job and he would have to provide for the both of you while you hopefully try to find a job. Either way, I don't think it's a good idea to remain strong with this guy. From what you told of me of his latter actions, it seems that he just wants to dedicate this chapter of his life to starting fresh. You should try talking to him and just tell him how you feel and ask if him moving and starting anew is a thought that has crossed his mind. You are not wrong for being mad. I completely understand your feelings but you have to remember it's his life too and he has a decision in whether or not his life in the future will entail you.
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I am dating my best friends ex she came to know abt it later she told me that she don't av any problem with me dating her ex...she said that she till love me as a friend.
but my guilt is making me feel like broking up with my bf should i do so ?
If your friend says she's okay with it, and you really like the guy then you don't have anything to worry about. If you think she told you she's okay with it because she doesn't want to upset you, then that's a different story but if you feel that she was honest about it, then you should be fine. And I can understand dating an ex is awkward but if you really like the guy and the guy likes you a lot, then I think you should be together. :)
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13/f
So I'm in 7th grade and I always see people kissing at my school. It makes me depressed, because I've never had a boyfriend and it makes me feel unwanted. I don't even know if I'll ever get one...
It's making me feel really bad about myself. Any advice? :(
Hun, I never had a bf until I was 18 and I'm not ashamed. I know what it feels like to see people around you, happy and in love, and you want that feeling too. My advice, hang in there and continue to focus on school and making friends. You are not unwanted. You are only in middle school. When you're 18-19, you won't even know 90% of those people anymore. So please don't be worried, look for the best that life has to offer and be happy. Love will come. Love comes to people when they least expect it and when they're at peace with themselves:)
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I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend of two years. Since the first time he left for college over a year ago it's been set in stone for both of us that he'd fly back for both of my proms (I'm still in highschool). Prom is in April so we booked the flights about a week ago. I just recently found out there is an age limit for prom this year, and my bf is one year over the limit. I'm trying to talk to administration about it, but knowing my school they aren't very lenient about rules. If worst comes to worst and my bf isn't allowed to come, even though we've already booked his flight home, I don't want to go stag. The problem is I know my boyfriend is going to be extremely upset if he even finds what I'm thinking.. I went with my friend to his school's prom last year and as a result my bf and I got into multiple arguments and my bf still hates my friend to this day. I know it's kind of selfish on my part, but prom is sort of a big deal (my bf said so himself!). But I don't know if having a date is worth upsetting my bf....I'd rather not go to prom than go stag honestly. If admin. won't let us break the rules, should I take someone else as my date (I really do want to go to prom, but preferably with my bf), or be kind to my bf and go stag/not go at all?
Wow that sounds pretty complicated. The first thing you should do is talk to your school admin first. If that works, everything will be set and you would have no worries. If he can't go because of his age maybe you should get his opinion on what you should do first. I personally don't feel that it's
right to take another person as a date to prom when you have a boyfriend. Maybe there's a group you can go with?
It's a tough decision to make but please have the support of your bf in what you choose to do. :)
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Here's the thing: I'm sixteen years old and I really like this guy who's twenty four. You don't need to tell me.. I know. It's bad. Let me start off by saying that it's not a sexual/physical kind of attraction. I mean yes, he's attractive. But that's beside the point.
I'm sure the majority of you are wondering, how could I have even gotten at all involved with someone of his age? The thing is, he's one of the youth leaders at my church. Yeah, I know. You don't have to say it. I know it's terrible. And don't me wrong, I don't plan on doing anything at all, anytime soon. I don't even think I'll ever tell him. At least not until I'm eighteen.
Look, I know it's wrong. I totally get that. It's inapproprate, I totally get that. But there's still that part of me that believes I have a chance with him (not now, of course, but) let me tell you why. Let me start by saying I could be totally wrong about these. But: He's hugged me, totally on his own, without me even needing one. He's joked around with me, while playfully hitting my hand. We've talked on Facebook about how people in today's society need to stop judging people and let them do what they want with who they want. Also, he's sent me smiley faces. But I'm sure that's nothing. Anyways, I've caught him looking at me and looking away right when I do. We've had moments where we look at each other for a while, etc. Whatever, a lot has happened. My point is, it sometimes slightly seems like there's... something there. But at the same time, of course, he's a youth leader. He's a pastor's kid. He's naturally and supposed to be nice. But I seriously feel like some of those things... they're unexplainable. Y'know?
Anyways, like I said, I'm not going to do anything and I'm not going to tell him. I definitely don't want to do anything to get him in trouble or ruin whatever it is that he and I DO have. So I'm definitely waiting for any of that. But there's still that part of me that really likes him. He's so real. And so chill. I don't even know for sure if I want to tell him in the future, for fear of losing him as a friend. Or an accquaintance. Or whatever he is. But at the same time, I've noticed those little things, as aforementioned. You can't tell me that any other youth leader would act that way towards any teen girl. But then again, I could totally be wrong about all of that; although I don't think I am.
I am totally, completely and most definitely over thinking all of this. And I know that. I'm just not sure of what to do about it. Hell, I'm not going to do ANYTHING about it yet. But it's just so hard to hold this inside. Especially when I see him at church and such. And what am I supposed to do when he does something else a little.. "off"? Obviously I can't say or do anything about it!
In conclusion, I really like this guy. And the little things, not gonna lie, I don't hate any of them. Haha. But it's going to be hard waiting like 1.5 years until it'll be okay to tell him how I really feel. But how can I even know for sure that he feels the same way? He SOMETIMES acts like it, sometimes. But what it all comes down to is if how I feel is going to ruin everything. I'm not exactly sure what "everything" is in this case. I'll figure that out later.
And in your answers, please don't restate themes like "only time will tell" or "if it's meant to be, it will happen". They're both true, no doubt about that. But I'm looking more for an answer that will really help me solve all of this.
I'm really sorry this was so long and I really appreciate you guys taking the time to read all of this. Even if it's all stupid.
Overall, I don't want to bluntly tell you that you're overthinking this but you have to realize from a 3rd person point of view, what you described is the one thing you're fearful of. The fact that you're 16 and he's 24 is a big sign right there. I know that most guys wouldn't take a younger girl very seriously. Honestly. They might be into it for the fun of it, but when it comes down to business, they don't want any part of it. I think you're smitten by an older guy and you're looking for excuses to tell yourself that you're into him. Smileys don't really mean much as I have spoken to normal guy friends and they are friendly and send smileys through facebook. I wont deny that you have a connection. You really do and I'm happy for you that he gives you positive vibes. But I don't want you to get your hopes up for something that's highly unlikely. Sometimes we want to feel that we're one in a million, but if everyone felt like that, then we're really all just the same. Yeah I know that was a bit depressing advice. I just want you to be careful with your feelings. Waiting till youre 18 doesnt really make a difference in telling him because he will be 26. No answer can really solve your problems, it's all in the mind and how you choose to perceive your reality.
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18/f Ok, so I've been working at my job for about 6 months now, and there's this guy (he's 21)... He and I have been talking a lot over these past few months. It's kinda gone through stages, like at first he just plain teased me, and we weren't at all that close. Then he started bugging me more and more, and that bugging turned into playful teasing. Then he started hardcore flirting with me. Now he's acting very sweet, and teasing a bit too. My coworkers make fun of him for how obvious he is. Like he says "Only for you." a lot, says things like "Lisa, you make me smile." and goes "Liiiiisa, you should massage me~", and I fake scold him, blah-blah. Well, after knowing me for sometime now, he's discovered I'm a Christian, and that I'm "innocent", as he likes to put it. Also that I'm pretty serious about relationships. But he still keeps flirting with me regardless. And it's like, hardcore too xD! He knows I disapprove of drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, etc., so he kinda brags about how he quit smoking, doesn't drink anymore, stuff like that. He hasn't asked me out yet, and at first I thought he was just being a player, flirting 'cuz he's bored or something, but then I thought, maybe he's trying to take it slow?
The problem is, I was recently chatting with a girl at work, and she said she went on a few dates with him around 6 months ago when she first started (before I started working there). She said a friend hooked them up. Well after those few dates, he told her that he had recently gotten out of a 4 year relationship with a girl, and that he wasn't ready for another relationship, so he stopped seeing her. He doesn't talk to her at all, ever. Now I'm worried... I'm wondering if he just used that line as an excuse, or if he actually meant it. If he did mean it then, would he still mean it now? If he finally asks me out sometime, will the same thing happen to me? Why would he flirt with me, knowing that I'm a relationship gal? What are your guys' opinions? Thank you~
Considering he told the girl at work that, 6 months ago, he might actually want to move on. I know when people break up from a relationship and they're pretty stressed about it, they don't really go flirting with the world. I don't think you should use the girl's input over your own. I mean, don't just void it completely, but just remember it and keep it in the back of your mind but continue to do what makes you happy. If he knows you're the relationship type of girl and he's a good guy, then he will or should let you know what his deal is, or at least he should ask.
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So im a freshman girl and i have a friend that always talks to upperclassman and texts them non stop. And th guys are really nice and stuff. Shes not that pretty and shs really short and has acne but hAs a decent chest and not that skinny. I don really have acne and im skinnier but have smaller boobs. And she dreasea in the plain tees and i dress a lot better. Im not conceident. How do i become more lile her?
I don't think you should try to be like anyone other than youself. You already described yourself as having no acne and you dress better. Forget the boobs. I think you should just work on being more outgoing and confident in who you talk to, that is all. The more expressive you are the more people will like talking to you.
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I am a freshman in highschool,and im a girl. Ok, so there is this guy i really like, and he is really shy. He always talks to me about the same subject everytime, before the bell rings in the class we have together, and he gave me a picture he drew today. But the wierd thing was that we were on opposite sides of the room, and the teacher had said to sit down, and he still came over to hand me the picture, but didnt say a word. It was just a picture/comic about his spanish teacher. So does he like me? Im not sure, but he pays an unusual amount of attention to me, and he is so nice to me(sometimes he is a jerk, but i know its cause hes tryin to look cool infront of his friends) Please help me!!!! DOES HE LIKE ME?
P.S. i am not particularly attractive, cause im overweight and have acne problems, but my eyes and lips are full and beautiful, and i dress very stylishly, so this is why idk if he would possibly like me or not)
There is a chance that he does but you're clearly overthinking it. Just let it take its natural flow. I'm sure that he is being brave and trying to show you that no one can stop him from what he wants to do, especially when it comes to making a good impression on you. Don't worry about your weight and acne. Real guys can see past that and hopefully that is what he is doing. If he's nice to you then you have nothing to worry about. As for acting like a jerk around his friends, I would be a bit concerned because that is not the way to treat a girl you like or any girl for that matter. All I have to say is take things easy and you will be fine. :)
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