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How would you handle this?
I've been dating a guy long distance for a few months. We are more or less "talking" because while we have hung out before, it was only as friends. Things became serious after he moved away and we realized just how much we liked each other. Or so I thought. A few months ago, we discussed visiting to see if we want to be in a real relationship or not. Around that time, I lost my job and he brought up the fact that I don't have anything keeping me at home anymore and if I would come stay with him. I was hesitant at first, but he was right. The only worry I had was how to pay for my bills and such. As time went by and I was preparing to move there, I realized just how serious he was about it and that he would not pursue a relationship with me if I didn't do this. We would just stop talking. We started fighting a lot as I didn't feel like this was fair. I asked if he could come see me first, test out the waters, and then if I felt okay with him, I would go back and live there. He said he has stuff to do, he has work, he has class. Which I understand. But why should I MOVE there if he can't make a trip out here? He says how expensive it is. It's going to be expensive to for me too. To make things worse, I found out him and his friends are planning a road-trip in the OPPOSITE direction as me, almost just as far as it would be to come and see me. Is it wrong to be mad about that? I don't know how to feel. Advice?
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Hi there. It is a tough situation to be in with the guy being busy with school and his life and whatnot and you and yours. You are in two different places in reality more than mentally and that is a huge factor to consider. The fact that he offered you to stay with him shows that he has interest in you. What I don't understand is how serious his intentions are that you decided to move in with him. I guess he decided to think this through a lot and was worried that if it didn't work out, both of you would have been in lot of issues, even financially. Now that you've asked him to come see you and he's brushing you off, I would take it as a sign that he wants to move on with his life and it might be too hard for him to have a long distance relationship. He might probably feel that with you moving in with him, you'd be more of a burden than an asset because you don't have a job and he would have to provide for the both of you while you hopefully try to find a job. Either way, I don't think it's a good idea to remain strong with this guy. From what you told of me of his latter actions, it seems that he just wants to dedicate this chapter of his life to starting fresh. You should try talking to him and just tell him how you feel and ask if him moving and starting anew is a thought that has crossed his mind. You are not wrong for being mad. I completely understand your feelings but you have to remember it's his life too and he has a decision in whether or not his life in the future will entail you.
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