about

Ello ^^; Name's Maria. I love giving people my opinion about their situations to try and help them see things from different angles and finally helping them come up with the best possible solutions. I am willing to answer a question from any category to the best of my knowledge. I've been through quite a bit myself, who hasn't? In some of my answers, I'll give examples of situations in my life in which I can relate to. It all depends on the type of question I am asked and how it is asked. I like to read things that make sense, but if you have trouble explaining your situation, I won't give up on you for a mix up on words or terrible grammar; you're only human ^-^. Overall, I hope I can help as much as possible with my advice. I will always try to say things in the nicest way possible so as not to hurt anyone's feelings; nonetheless, I'll be fairly honest with you. If you've read this far into my description, thank you for your time, and hopefully your life is running smoothly at the moment. If you're worried about something and you are confused on what to do about the situation, feel free to ask away! I'm glad to help. :)

advice

Hey im a 15 year old male and have been texting this girl for about 4 months.we've gone for walks and kissed 3 times but arent officially going out.i really really like her and she says she likes me too,but shes going away for 2 months now and i dont know what to do.i feel like theres nothing for me when shes not here and i need her company because it makes me so happy.i honestly dont think i can last 2 months without her.please help me is there anything i can do?

It sounds like you sort of depend on her to feel complete. You don't want to make someone your everything if you are not even in an official relationship. You may not be sure of what will happen to the situation. Also how long have you known or hung out with her? Four months? You have so much time ahead.

You can definitely have a life when she's not around. It seems like this relationship is barely a sprout. Don't depend on someone else so early on like this, you are not committed to anything, and you are very young. If one day she decided to change things up, as in, get with someone new, what are you going to do? Dig your head into a pillow and sob? Remember that you are important too. This thing you have going involves two: her and YOU. So care about YOU.

If you drown yourself into this one girl, you may just forget what it's like to care about YOU. I can't stress enough how important it is to not forget about yourself. She chimed in, and now you're attached. Crazy things can happen, people turn 180 degrees, but when you look in the mirror, who is left? (YOU) You're not going to know how she feels later on. Don't sweat it. If you get going doing things with friends, having fun, doing other stuff that distract you, you will get home at the end of the day and see her as A POSSIBILITY, NOT A NECESSITY!!!!

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I emailed a guy and told him how I felt about him. He wrote back a few days later. Saying that he apologizes if he doesn't respond back in a timely manner. I then replied back telling him not to rush. Whenever you get the chance to get online again you could reply back then.

Sometime after I sent that email to him. He's been online and active but has yet to reply back to my email. What could be the reason as to why he hasn't replied yet? I'm a 26 yr old Leo female. Emailing an 26 yr old Virgo male. I sent him the email on September 15th 2011 now it's September 26th 2011. I hope I'm not reading too much into it.

Just Curious: Do you think your zodiac sign, along with his, has anything to do with it?

Be patient, but don't get your hopes up. You have no idea how he took that email you sent him, maybe it affected him, maybe it didn't. How long have you known this guy? Are you good friends with him?
Maybe those factors are relevant.

Try not to read much into it, for all you know, he probably doesn't know how to respond to it. Just be chill. :)

On a side note, I do know that Virgos & Leos are next to eachother on the zodiac sign. Leo's are life's of the party, and virgo's are more of the intellectual, practical, and diplomatic (calm) type.

Patience my dear.

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I guess im asking this cuz im looking for comfort because i just got rejected by a guy i like he didnt say he did not like me just that he had a girlfriend so now im sad but things could change right?

Things always change, for better or for worse :)
Don't feel sad because he rejected you, keep your cool, and life rolls on. If he has a girlfriend, be there for him as a friend. You don't know what exactly the guy thinks of you, so don't tear yourself up. Who knows what may happen. Keep your chin up! Get busy doing things to get your mind off of this, let's call it, an oopsie; afterall, you didn't know he was taken right? ;)Good luck!

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hi guys, please explain this, my one and a half year of boyfreind says, i think we should split up, don't you?' he says he loves me but it's not working...what does he mean, guys? i love him to death and he loves me as well and he sometimes also says his son comes fisrt. well, he has a son with his ex girlfriend. i just feel so damn broken. we haven't split up but he just seems to want to, i guess. thankyou guys.

I know it's hard to hear something like that coming out of someone you've been with for one and a half years, but you have to be strong enough to let go.

There is a saying: If you love someone, let him go, and he will return without being called.

Try not to show too much devastation in front of him, you don't want to show him you're broken. I'm not saying you should hide your feelings, because it's ok to talk about them, but don't cry a river in front of him.

It seems like he is either trying to set up a family with his son, or he feels you guys should see other people. There must be some reason why he wants to split up.

Yes, he will always say his son comes first because it's his son, a parent does anything for their baby. Think about it; would you put your son/daughter first?

Once you both mutually agree to split, do NOT keep in touch with him, this will make the healing process painful. Try to hang out with some good friends, or get out. Do something to keep your mind off the break-up. Once you feel you can talk to him without reminiscing in the past, then you can possibly talk to him casually. But in the meantime, get busy with other things. You're strong enough :)

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I have so much anger && depression in me.
For the past month or two . My life has been taking completly changing and its not the first time , its like this time its really hurting me. I cry myself to sleep everyday, and with no on to even talk i mean no one . When Im around people im fine but hahaa when iget home it just comes . Ive mistreated way to long . But you guys are giving advice like its so easy its not really i dont know to deal with this at all .

I'd like to know more about what is bothering you specifically. I can tell you what to do to help overcome these things. What is making you feel this way? I don't mind being a personal psychologist, lol. You can add me on windows messenger: idamaria1@live.com.

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i don;t know what is wrong with me but i feel so lonely and i want a boyfriend soo badly :S
lol
does anyone have any tips on how i can find people or go out and date? anything on the subject would be great. or any experiences you have gone through thanks ..:)

There's nothing wrong with you. It would help if you added some info to your question as to how you act around guys, maybe I can tell you if you're doing something that affects this.

The key to finding someone, is something you already have. Just be yourself. If you're not, you might end up with someone you cannot relate to at all because the 'real' you, was not displayed by YOU.

There's a saying that I always say to my friend, and she's in a situation very similar to yours. She's always thinking about when she's gonna get a bf, and she's always wondering why she doesn't have one, and questioning what's wrong with her & what she can do to change it. The only thing there is to change, is her mentality. She needs to STOP wondering about guys and let the guys wonder about her; as do you. Bottom line, be yourself, and don't be wondering about them too much, let the guys wonder about you; enough said :)

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18/f.

Okay, so there's this girl Sara that my boyfriend used to have a RIDICULOUS crush on a couple years back. It didn't work out for him; they have been and are still just friends. He claims he's over her and stuff, but who knows. That's not what bothers me, though.

Apparently one day, he and Sara were hanging out and she was wrong abotu something/lost a bet/ etc. and now owes him a blowjob. Note that this (apparently) isn't something she agreed to; he just declared it. And now, every so often, he brings it up and nags her that she "promised".

How do I know about this? Obviously he never mentions this to me; I once saw him say it to her on Facebook on my news feed, and another time I read a VERY lengthy aim convo about it (I was bored, on his computer, and creeped on his conversations). I know the AIM thing was an invasion of privacy on my part, but I was bored. I didn't read it out of suspicion or anything.

My problem is that I feel EXTREMELY jealous and hurt. But I don't know if I have the right to. First of all, Sara's my friend, too (we're not good friends, we haven't talked in a while, but we're friends nonetheless). I know for a fact she wouldn't ACTUALLY agree to it for that reason (and also because she never saw him as more than a friend). And my boyfriend's the type of person who jokes about sex 24/7. But there's just something different about telling your best guy friend "don't worry about it. you'll just suck my dick later" vs. sayign to a girl you've had a huge crush on for over a year that you want a blowjob from her. No?

Anyway, what do I do? Should I do anything at all? I feel like I should tell him how uncomfortable this makes me, but how can I even bring it up without admitting to reading his messages? I feel like the second I bring up my problem he's going to turn the privacy thing around and make me the bad guy.

I suggest you leave him. You don't need this. He's messing around behind your back. The way that he's so open about this little "bet" on his facebook account shows how important his relationship with you is to him. He obviously doesn't respect the relationship.

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Well first off, I broke up with this guy that was a 100% my type and I was really falling far him. My type of guy is the one thats athletic, preppy, talkative, respectful, pretty boy kind of guy. Everything about him was perfect and our families got along perfectly, but he lived an hour away. Then I always see girls on his facebook and he would get tagged in photos of him with other girls. So I ended, but I still think about him constantly.. Then another thing there's this guy named Dylan his the total opposite of all the things i'm use to in a guy. His rock style, listens to screamo, just total opposite of what i'm use too. I take a lot of classes with him, and I tell him everything about what goes on with me because I feel like I can trust him. We recently just started getting super close, I call him my partner in crime in classes because we always laugh and cut up in classes that teachers have to move us. He smokes weed then the other night I was on webcam with him and I told him how I really care about him and know that his smart enough not to do that. He liked smiled and got real quite whenever I told him I care about him. He also told me how he really likes me and he doesn't want to lose me. I'm really starting to get that feeling everytime I talk to him too, I just don't know how it would work out though because I know that his far from what i'm use to dating.. We don't even hang out with the same people, and I know my dad wouldn't approve my mom thinks his really cute though. I'm just so confused because of how much I really liked my ex and my dad really liked him which I have to have my dads approval on a guy and thats the kind of guy everyone in my family is like and Dylan just the total opposite so I have no idea on what to do..

Try something new. Everyone is different. Maybe you'll love this new experience. I say you give it a chance :) You only have one life to live so go for it!

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how do i trust my boyfrienda around other grils i really love him and i dont wont to lost him

TIME. If he messes up, he'll be the one losing YOU.

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i m ma gf induldge in oral sex on 14th feb,after dat she had nt get her periods yet,her date was 25 i m woried it 1st nw can she b pregrnant????????wht could b d reason of her nt geting periods if she is nt pregrnat????????




A woman can't get pregnant through oral sex, relax.

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i'm 17/f and he's 19/m
so the other night i hooked up with a guy i've kinda been crushing on for like years. he goes to school an hour and a half away so i kinda rushed things more than i would if he was to live closer to me. we did everything except sex, which i'm glad we didn't. but i'm just wondering if i ruined my chances with him. he's a really nice guy and after we hooked up he told me to text him when i got home to make sure i got home safe and he held my hand while i was..ya know haha. we text a bit but i feel like i'm always the first one to text him but he shows signs of interest for me and sends me alot of smileys and winky faces haha. so my questions are, what goes through a guy's mind after a hookup? what are the chances of him coming back?

If you feel like you're always the first one to text him, then your doubts are correct. Let him text YOU!!! If he doesn't text you as much as you text him, then there can be multiple reasons why. Moreover, you don't want him to think you're on your toes for him, making sure to make a conversation with him, etc. Remember, you want to be desired you don't want to desire :) Try not texting him for some time, and see if he wants to communicate with you. Let him grow interest. Although I must say it seems like you guys rushed things a little. Just slow down and don't live too fast next time you meet a guy you really like. After all, he's not the only fish in the sea :)

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17/f

Hi- this is kind of the opposite of a normal relationship question. Basically, there's this guy who likes me at school. He gets sort of tongue tied when I'm around and my friends say he likes me, and that he'll try to ask me out soon. The problem is, I'm actually not interested in dating. This guy is great in a lot of ways but I've never been on a date and I'm just not interested atm. how do I say no if he asks me out, without hurting his feelings?

Just be honest with him and tell him the truth. Avoid lying. If you make up an excuse, then later he finds out you pushed him aside for whatever reason, his feelings will probably end up hurt. When he pops the question, say something like, please don't take it personally, but I'm just not interested in having a relationship with anyone right now. (And if you like him back or have plans on maybe starting something with him later on, tell him that you'll consider a relationship when you're ready.) :)

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There is this guy "Z"... We have been friends since the begining of school and hes a really sweet guy. He has had a gf for almost 2 years now. So i never even looked at him that way. well they broke up about a month ago and he started talking to me more and more. I fell for him so fast. He can be a "flirt" with alot of girls and im well aware of a few girls that he "like(d)(s)"... We started hanging out every weekend, going to church togeather, youth group, ect. we were togeather most days. He kissed me (my first kiss) and i was so happy, and yet so sad because he wasnt my boyfried. well this went on for like 2 more weeks. Now he's back with his ex Girlfriend......... We still hang out every weekend, and still flirt, and this weekend he kept 'snuggling' with me. I dont understand what he wantss. Ive talked to him about it before he says hes never alowed to see his gf, so my thought is well whats the point then?! he says he doesnt know. We talk all the time, flirt, snggle, talk on the phone for hours and hours. It is the one thing in my life that makes me really happy. and yet every time we hang up, or he leaves, i feel so sad. i feel like im a bad person because he has a gf, i feel like im setting myself up to be hurt but i cant stop my self...... I dont really have a question. but i need some advise. I hate feeling like im being stupid, but getting over him doesnt seem like an option.

One very very important rule to remember is: Never make someone your priority when they only make you their option.

Yes, you may really like this guy, but it seems like he isn't sure of what he wants. If you want to be his girlfriend, main squeeze, etc., you need to stop being the bread plate to the left. In order to do that, you need to figure out what he wants.

Don't let him snuggle with you if he's taken. Give yourself some value, per say. If he sees that you're not giving in to him because you guys aren't officially together, he'll want to make it happen :) You're right about setting yourself up to get hurt. You could be doing that, so you need to take some control of the situation. If he wants to keep you as a friend, the snuggling and cuddling and stuff needs to diminish immediately. On the other hand, if he realizes he wants to be with you, then he must decide to leave the other one and get with you. Bottom line, NEVER be an option.

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I sent my girlfriend a text message. In the text message, I asked "Are we
still boyfriend and girlfriend." A couple of minutes later, I didn't get a
response, so I sent another message saying "I would really appreciate a
response." She sent this reply " yes David..... I have to say its kind of
getting old having to tell you over and over again.. I m not sure why you
worry so much.. I have a class now..so I'll talk to you later "

Question: She used excessive periods after saying “yes david”. She used
five periods after that sentence. She only used two periods in her other
sentences. She put extra space between "yes david....." and the next
sentence. When I copy and pasted the exchange of texts into advicenators,
the extra space didn’t show up, but it was there in the original message.
You can’t see the extra space here, but it was in the original message.
She didn't use this extra space between her other sentences. What do the
five dots in "Yes David....." mean? I understand they mean she is annoyed,
but do they directly express annoyance or do they mean that something was
unwritten and it is up to the reader to assume what was supposed to be
written?

Looks like you pay a little too much attention to detail I must say. Don't worry about how many periods or spaces she has used in the message, rather focus on what she said.

I'm assuming you've asked her this a number of times before. Is there a particular reason why you keep asking her this? If there is, then just talk it out. If she said what she said in that way, it's easy to see that she is annoyed of repeating herself.

Just chill out. Unless she's made it clear to you that you and her are not together, then don't sweat it.

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I am 15 years old and when i was in 6th grade i fell in love with my bestfriends cousin. and he fell inlove with me. We have been on and off since 6th grade. and last time we dated was in august-6 months ago. yesturday i went to his house with my bestfriend and her boyfriend and we all hungout lots of awkwardness. but it decreased as the time passed. He put on a necklace i gave him saying nina + allen than the date. when i say we fell in love i mean in love-like the teenage love. first loves. you know what i mean? so when i left his house my bffl and her bf were trying to get us to kiss and i really didnt want to. but then he kissed me and i relized that i miss him ...again..still.. and this weekend we are all supposed to chill and drink and they are planning on us having sex again. (i lost my virginity to him months back)i know how bad this is but i dont completely mind having sex with him again- but i would really rather not at all. but in the end i do not want to date him, but i do want to hangout with all of them this weekend. just, what should i do? about telling him i am not ready for a relationship yet, and the sex thing. etc.. i know i dont have a straight out question but if anyone can find anything to say please helpp.

No one can make you do something you don't want to do. Give yourself time to think about what you really want. Your "friends" should not be planning things out for you, especially things like those. You are still very young to be having sex anyway. A teenage relationship should not revolve around sex. If you don't want to start a relationship and you feel that you aren't ready for any of that, then stand your ground and make your own choices. Always remember to give yourself time to think about what you really want; that is very important. Don't let anyone control you like a puppet. You have a say for yourself, so use it.

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I have been seeing this guy for 2.5 years, we both came out of a bad breakup and neither of us were looking for a relationship at the time. As time past I fell in love with him, he was in financial debt so I lent him money that he promised he would pay back, took out a loan as he told me he was selling a property and would have the money to pay me back which he lost and now in shortfall.

I believed what he was saying, he manipulated me into paying his bills etc as well and promised he would pay me back but never did. I had to ask to contribute to the loan otherwise he would not have paid me anything. Total is around $18,000.

In April this year he went from single to a relationship on his facebook and said he had to do that so girls would not go after him. During that time he told me that, a girl was hassling him and he owed her money, so asked me to call her for her bank account details. After I spoke with her she told me she was in love with him and I felt like I was in the same situation, he denied sleeping with her. I broke off seeing him because I had the suspicion he was seeing other women, which he denied. After I broke it off he said he wanted to move on and meet someone that his family would approve of, they would not approve of me as I am older than he by 12 years. I am 49 and he is 37. He kept wanting to see me, didn't want me finding anyone else.

Two days before Christmas he called and said he needed money as he was in trouble. I told him I didn't have any and could not get any as he has drained me dry. I recently found out that this guy is now engaged with a baby on the way with the girl he denied being in a relationship with in April.

I know this guy is not good for me and I want to cut him off but don't know how to do it as he owes me money. I have the feeling he will not pay me back as he has lied and cheated, not only with me but with the girl he is engaged with, as he was seeing me at the same time. So do I cut my losses and run and how should I handle it??

In your shoes: I would not walk away from my $18,000.

Arrange something with him, negotiate, to see how he will be paying you your money back. He has to give you at least a certain amount each month until it's paid off. If he starts and tells you he can't pay you your money or he's in a financial hardship, don't take that. If he completely denies the whole idea of paying you back, get a good lawyer, and sue him for your losses! That's a lot of money to just walk away from. Bottom line, RECOVER your money from him before you ditch him; he's no good for you.

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ok so ive kind of come to conclusion that the kiss is gunna come natural (hopefully) but my propblem is leading up to the kiss im gunna freak out and be nervouse i just know it! please help! give me some ideas to get over it! THANKYOUU

It will definitely come natural. Unless it's some sort of surprise kiss or something like that. Don't worry about it. Just avoid freaking out, and stay calm. Be cool about it.

Nervousness is natural. Picture yourself handling the first kiss the way you want to! It will help you want to act this out in reality. Remember to relax and close your eyes. :DD It'll be great; you'll see {err feel}. ^^

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Okay...wow where to start.
So my friend introduced me to this girl awhile back and at first it was nothing but like a little crush. I didn't even know she liked me until my friend brought it up sort of jokingly. Since then, she's been really touchy and close to me, despite the fact she has a girlfriend and all who left for college this year.
And within the past month, we've gotten really 'close' both like...emotionally and romantically and physically and it's gotten out of hand. I've spent the night at her house so many times now but...no not 'spent the night' in the terms you're probably thinking.
About a week ago she told her girlfriend Kelly and since then they've been at odds. They're still together and Nicole (the girl) is always complaining how she can't decide between me and her girlfriend. And it's really wearing me down.

I mean, I can't just say that I don't want to be a part of it anymore or tell her to just make up her mind since like....I know if I did she'd just go run to Kelly and make up. Supposedly according to our mutual friend, she really likes me but I can't help but feel like a sort of distraction when kelly isn't here. And I told nicole that on many occasions, but she just sort of gets upset and says that it's not like that, she's just confused.

I really care about her, and I've pretty much wrapped my life around her now, and she's sorta done the same thing for the whole situation. And I don't know what to do anymore. Anyone?

Ok, you need to talk to Nicole. I really think you should figure out what exactly it is that she wants.

When someone is confused, you should help the person get their head on straight by talking to them about it seriously. The best thing you should do, is figure out her feelings,and ask her to make up her mind. What does she want? How exactly does she feel about her "gf"? Who does she want to be with more? Don't be afraid of the answers, even if you're scared of getting hurt. So don't avoid asking these sorts of questions. These answers are what you're looking for. Pay attention to the way she talks to you when she answers these questions. This will help you determine a lot.

If she keeps this up, you might even end up hurt or who knows what. If you figure out what's in her heart, you will both understand each other and hopefully come to a resolution. Don't forget to give her a little space and time to think. Just be firm, and be strong no matter what the outcome.

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Hey so I was at a b~day party and I was dared to ask Seth {my crush at the time} out on a date. So I texted him and he didn't respond. So now I've moved on to like another guy that is my bestie and I love him more. How can I tell him that I don't like him anymore?

If Seth isn't wondering if you like him anymore or not, then you have nothing to worry about. Love is a strong word.

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Me = 17/m
Her = 16/f
Dating = 3 yrs

I want to tell my girlfriend the truth about me cheating on her recently. There was this girl I knew all through school and she texted me one day and asked if I wanted to hang out. I feel so guilty because I was attracted to the girl for a long time but never acted on it before. I did meet up with her and lied to my gf about it, telling her I was going to go down the road and look for a job. I met up with the girl and I told her upfront I had a girl already. Things still happened and I KNOW I am to blame for this because I couldn't be a man and control myself right. We didn't have full sex but it was pretty close at one point before I was like "Hey, I can't do this" and all.

How do I come clean with my girl? I don't want to just be like "Hey, I cheated on you" because I really am hoping she'd forgive me and give me another shot at this. What do I say? How do I tell her I cheated?

Don't hide this from her. The worst you can do is go on with her with this on your shoulders. Sit her down, tell her how you feel about it. Nothing's better than the truth, even if it's the hardest thing to say.
If she decides to give you another chance, then control yourself next time something like this presents to you. Just remember to pour your heart out. That's the best thing you can say to her. This lets her know, hey, I didn't think he would have the guts to tell me this, and it shows that he really wants to be straight with me.

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