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Is it normal for me to be jealous? What do I do?
18/f.
Okay, so there's this girl Sara that my boyfriend used to have a RIDICULOUS crush on a couple years back. It didn't work out for him; they have been and are still just friends. He claims he's over her and stuff, but who knows. That's not what bothers me, though.
Apparently one day, he and Sara were hanging out and she was wrong abotu something/lost a bet/ etc. and now owes him a blowjob. Note that this (apparently) isn't something she agreed to; he just declared it. And now, every so often, he brings it up and nags her that she "promised".
How do I know about this? Obviously he never mentions this to me; I once saw him say it to her on Facebook on my news feed, and another time I read a VERY lengthy aim convo about it (I was bored, on his computer, and creeped on his conversations). I know the AIM thing was an invasion of privacy on my part, but I was bored. I didn't read it out of suspicion or anything.
My problem is that I feel EXTREMELY jealous and hurt. But I don't know if I have the right to. First of all, Sara's my friend, too (we're not good friends, we haven't talked in a while, but we're friends nonetheless). I know for a fact she wouldn't ACTUALLY agree to it for that reason (and also because she never saw him as more than a friend). And my boyfriend's the type of person who jokes about sex 24/7. But there's just something different about telling your best guy friend "don't worry about it. you'll just suck my dick later" vs. sayign to a girl you've had a huge crush on for over a year that you want a blowjob from her. No?
Anyway, what do I do? Should I do anything at all? I feel like I should tell him how uncomfortable this makes me, but how can I even bring it up without admitting to reading his messages? I feel like the second I bring up my problem he's going to turn the privacy thing around and make me the bad guy.
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I suggest you leave him. You don't need this. He's messing around behind your back. The way that he's so open about this little "bet" on his facebook account shows how important his relationship with you is to him. He obviously doesn't respect the relationship.
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Dump Him
If your boyfriend is having this kind of talk with other woman behind your back, Then therefore he doesn't want you to know for a good reason. Lets get to the point, Your boyfriend is an ass.
If your boyfriend truly cared about you, He wouldn't go behind your back. Whether or Whether or not she was "dared" to give him a blowjob..She got herself into that situation. Your boyfriend does nothing but feed into it. It's not okay, He is pretty much kicking you to the curb so he can get himself a bet deal. Don't worry to much because reality is you are too good for him. If it didn't work out once with her..It likely won't work another time around and obviously he needs to learn that the hard way. Walk and let him deal with the consequences.
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okay this is not okay if you are feeling not okay about something from what your boyfriend is saying then you need to talk to him about it maybe you shouldnt mention that you went through his aim conversations if you know he was going to be very mad at you about it just say hey i saw this conversation on facebook that you guys had a bet on her giving you a blow job and it concerns me a bit because i know you liked her before and im feeling a tad jealous and i dont like it i just need to know that this is nothing but a joke and you would appreciate it if this stoped! there is flirting and joking and then thats where he went wrong and went a little bit over board if you know she wouldnt do anyting then dont bother talking to her but more your boyfriend and tell him if you find that he doesnt stop with this overboard flirting and joking then its no longer healthy for you to be together.
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