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hey im 13 and a female. i was wondering are looks an important part in a relationship? all my friends say it is but i think its a lil shallow.

**sleepiesheep**

While it does help to be attracted to another person, you don't need to be drop dead gorgeous/handsome to be in a relationship. It shouldn't be the basis, but I think if your attracted to someone, it makes the relationship all the more better. It shouldn't be what triggers the whole thing though. I just think no matter what a person looks like their personality can physically attract you & them. :)

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So my guy friends girlfriend broke up with him a couple months ago. Which doesn`t seem like a big deal, but the day she broke up with him she went to another guys house and "did stuff" with him. Which totally broke my friends heart. Since then, his ex has gotten into drugs, had sex, and given in to upper class men.. My friend and his ex had not talked since, other than arguing and accusations.. But he finally just started having normal conversations with her again. I was talking to him tonight and he told me he`s still in love with her. Hes asking me for advice, but I don`t know what to tell him on this one. She`s not right for him at all. Totally wrong..

Please help me, he`s coming to me asking for advice.. It just hurts me to know that he`s in love with someone who has treated him so bad, because I care for him so much. I don`t know whether to tell him to go after her again or to just give up all together..

I would appreciate your help.
Sincerely, Hopelessly confused..

You have to understand where he's coming from. Regardless of all she's done, he probably still remembers all the good times they had. Some times people have a hard time accepting change, and that seems to be your friends case.

You can't simply tell him to "get over her" that would be insensitive. He's hurt right now. Tell him that as difficult as it seems right now, there's other girls out there and his ex isn't the only one.

Explain to him that maybe he should stop talking to her, because sometimes people change and, yeah, it's a hell of a letdown but there's really nothing anyone can do about it. If he's not already aware of all the things she 'did' maybe you should break the news to him. I'm under the impression that he does know, but maybe you should remind him.

He has to understand she's a different person now, doing all sorts of things, probably having a bad reaction to the whole breakup. She sounds like a complete ass if she broke up with him and then did it with another guy the same day! That's pretty lame.

I feel really bad for your friend! It's always the nice guys getting pushed around :( We need more guys like him. He's still chasing after that girl, it's sort of sweet.

good luck!

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okay so i got dumped a few weeks ago and the guy says he likes me but hed rather have friends than a girl friend, but he still acts like he still like lovesss me. I want to get over him soo bad but idk how..any ideas?

Start talking to new guys. It's going to have to hurt bad before you can get over him, so try and endure the pain and deal with it upfront. Don't ignore the breakup. You might need a little time from your X if he's still acting like you guys are dating. He might just be doing that so it isn't awkward between you two. Keep an open mind and try and talk to different guys.

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what do I do if I like someone

It's pretty simple. You either:

1. Decide to tell them and see if they feel the same way back. If your a girl, I don't suggest this because most guys like making the first move. It's really up to you though.

2. Don't tell them directly but maybe hint at it. For example, flirt a lot and ask if they wanna hang out some time. That's only if you guys talk.

If you two don't really know eachother yet, make a point of getting to know that person better.

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ive known this guy for about 5 years and hes my best friend. i never used to think i had feelings for him until now. but things are getting confusing now, when we hang out he'll do things like put his arm around me or cuddle and i dont know what to think. im starting to feel things for him but i have no idea what he feels about me. i dont know if i should ignore these feelings because i dont want to ruin the friendship we have. any advice would be helpful.

Unless he's naturally flirty, he's got all the signs for liking you. You can't ignore your gut feeling, if it's strong enough it'll keep coming back. I understand you don't want to ruin the friendship, but it seems like he's already crossed the borders, and there's kind of no turning back at this point. Normal best friends don't "cuddle", and if you guys have on more than one occasion I think he's trying to hint at you.

good luck babe!

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How can you tell if a shy boy likes you?

You generally can't because he might not let on and he probably doesn't flirt so much. However, if he seems to be a bit less shy around a certain girl, then it's possible that he likes her.

Also you might catch him staring at you often, joking around with you, sitting near you in class, stuff like that.


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I'm not allowed to date....but i have a boyfriend..but if my dad finds out he will like kill me!!! i dont know what to do!!!!!!!!

Don't let him know no matter what happens. If the boy calls your house just tell him your really good friends and he was asking for homework. There's tons of ways to dodge around the fact you're going out. Maybe if you have a cell phone have him call that for a while and not your home phone. Trust me, it's not that big of a deal. I think it'll be pretty easy to hide.


merry christmas baby!

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hey it's america's most saddest love life! yea i know i've written 2 u so many timez already, but i still need HELP!well there's this boy I LIKE in my class. he has a gurlfriend already. but he talks to me as if he doesn't even have one! i don't wanna be his gurlfriend but i don't know what 2 do! i'm just confused about everything at this point! tell me what 2 do puhleeze make ur response lentghy please so i could understand thoroughly!!!!thanx in advance:))))))))

Well, I'm not really sure what you're asking but I'll give it my best shot. Put yourself in the girlfriend's shoes. Say you were dating this guy and you were really into him. You wouldn't want him flirting relentlessly with some other girl. I think you should have compassion and withdraw yourself when he flirts with you. Act a little disinterested, and don't flirt back. If he decides to break up with that girl and comes with open arms to you, then it'll be up for you to decide. Just remember, there's no point in flirting back right now because it's not like you can go out. And you don't want him to break up with her and immediately go out with you, because you'll be making bad names for yourself. Again I'm not exactly understanding the gravity of the situation so if you want inbox me some more or leave a cute comment ;-)


merry christmas baby`!! ♥

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My boyfriends staying the night tonight, and we're exchanging Christmas gifts, I'm extremely scared, because what if I don't like something he gets me? How am I supposed to react? Thanks. ♥

Say you love it no matter what. You might be getting yourself nervous for no reason. I assume he knows you well enough, and if he does he's probably put careful thought into what he was going to get you. Just stay calm, and worse comes to worse pretend you like it. It's not a lie really, more of a white lie so that you don't hurt his feelings.


♥`Merry Christmas Baby`♥

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I was just wondering what everyone thinks about love? I don't believe in love and was just wondering what everyone else thought about it.

I think it's real, however, sometimes it's short-lived.

Lots of people think they're in love or about to be when boom it's all over and their world comes crashing down. Just because some people are afraid of love doesn't mean they should be in denial of it's existence. I think the most precious love is the love you might have for your family. That kind of love is rarely destroyed. Think about it. A husband & wife get divorced, but they have children. 99.9% of the time, they will NEVER stop loving those children, even though their love has already faded. I think love for family is a stronger, deeper, more compassionate form, something that you can depend on. I've seen people hurt time and time again, so I think love is a risk. I guess for some people it works. I know when you're in love and everything's right it's the only thing in the world that matters and everything is amazing. But, you can turn that around and say that it is the most deep and destructive form of emotional wreckage there is.

I would personally like to steer clear of it for a while. Anyway, the topics controversial, I'm sure you'll hear all sorts of opinions.

! ♥ merry christmas baby ♥ !

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ok i was thinking on something to get for my boyfriend. we have been dating for 2 months and i need advice. i was thinking about getting him for christmas the Dukes of Hazaed unrated dvd and some boxers. Do you think i should get him that? or something else? please help

I think you should get a gift that is consecutive. In other words, if you're going to get him boxers, maybe you want to get him an outfit or a t-shirt. If you're getting him dukes of hazzard, get him a couple of movies with his favorite candy.


merry christmas baby ;-)

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Ok there is a boy who I have like the hugest crush on. But sometimes he can be so mean then I think "I hate him". Then the next day I'll like him. But most of the time he is nice. Now I think he likes me a little but how do I find out or not thats the thing? :( Please help me!

Well, ask yourself. Does he flirt with you more than he does with other girls? Does he go out of his way to say things or do things that most guys don't just do?

If the answer is yes to those two questions, maybe he does like you. And maybe he's just being mean because he's trying to hide the fact he likes you. Maybe that sounded a little cliche, but it could be true. Maybe he just has no clue what the right thing would be to say to you. Or, if it seems like he's intentionally mean for no reason whatsoever, maybe he just uses you? That would be the downside. But, I could be wrong. It's up to you to judge.

Merry Christmas Baby ♥!

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okay there are these 2 guys in my english class. they both sorta flirt with me but one i think is doing it to make fun of me and other other i think really likes me. they are both friends and one is like hey lets go to the xmas dance, i wrote you a poem and the other one says aww shes a really nice girl i want to go to the dance with her ( the one that is nice) how do i know if they truelly like me or not?

I guess if they seem genuine about it. You said the one seems just like he is making a big joke out of it. If they like you, they probably flirt with you a lot, more than they do with any other girl. If I were you I'd go with the guy I thought was serious about it. good luck babe.

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okay so me and my boyfriend are perfect for eachother we have been together for almost a year and a half... well he really wanted this snowmoblie coat so i ordered it for his ,, it was $250.00 tho so i dont just wanna give it to him like in wrapping paper i want it to be special but i cant think of anything cute to give it to him for christmas? any ideas

Well you could get a box big enough for it to fit in and wrap a bow around it. Or you could put it in a big bag.

good luck babe ♥!

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Every guy that I like only thinks of me as a 'good friend'. What should I do? Should I act different, telling them that I like them doesn't seem to make a difference. I don't like being just everyone's friend,...I want more than that...

Sweetie, don't change yourself for them. Believe it or not, it is good to have a lot of friends. Sometimes people become friends before they date. So it's no big. Any guy that liked you for you wouldn't have to force you to put on an act. Boys are gonna have to like you for who you are. There is no need to put on an act, it's important to be real about yourself. Anyway most people can tell when someone is fake or not acting like their real selves.

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I have a girlfriend, let's say Jane. We've only officially been going out for two week, but we were going steady for about 2 weeks before that (making out all the time, not seeing anyone else but each other). Last week I met a new girl, Steph, through a friend. She is really cool and as this past week went by, I realized I like her more than Jane. Because I have a gf though, the friend that introduced us decided to try to hook my other friend up with Steph. I kept my feelings quiet to give him a a chance (he's never had a gf). He really likes her now. Just tonight Steph and I were talking and she told me she likes me more than my friend, and that she doesn't want to keep leading my friend on. I told her that I liked her too. Now I don't know what to do. Should I break up with Jane and date Steph, or break up with Jane and stay single for a while? Or should I just suck it up and stay together with Jane so my friends don't get mad at me for "invading" on my other friend's girl possibility? Either way someone's going to get hurt. What's the lesser poison?

Well, you have to do it in a way that doesn't make you look bad and hurt other girl's feelings. It's perfectly understandable you don't like "Jane". But, it would be really jerky to not only break your gf's heart and then invade your friend's territory. Even if Steph likes you and temptation is telling you to just ditch Jane and go out with Steph, you can't.

While Steph might act like she just wants to go out w/ you right now, it would be good to prove yourself to her and show her your a good guy and break it off easy with your gf and wait a while before you date someone else.


let her take the time to tell the other guy she's not interested. Then you can go out w/ her later.

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im in love with a 16 yr old guy and im 13 but my parents wont except him just because my cusin told my mom and dad that he was 17 and they showed them a picture of me and him and he was holding me but anyways how can i talk to my parents to get them to accept him i really love him with all my heart and i dont want to lose him?

confused gurl,
clarissa

Well, put it this way, you're going to have to do convincing. But don't be discouraged. Think of all the good things about him, and why you like him. For example-he's very respectful. And point out all of his good qualities to your parents.

I know you're 13, and a 16 & 13 year old dating might seem a little odd, but people date/marry eachother at all ranges of ages. Some people get married with a 20 year difference between them. How many years a part are your parents? If 3 or more you might want to bring that up and point it out.


Tell your parents he's really 16, and that you of all people would know better than your cousin. I don't understand why your cousin showed the pic. to your parents...kinda immature...but maybe they're afraid to see their daughter growing up :)

They should probably get used to it, if I had to guess. Just keep on persuading them that three years in age difference isn't that big of a deal.

Good Luck!!

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alright im 15.f is that helps.
so i have a boyfriend who i totally love, but i cant help it but have a little crush on this guy. the guy i have a crush on i THINK likes me hes constantly flirting and calls me too. i mean i wouldnt break up with my boyfriend for him, but i think about him alot and really like hanging out with him. any advice on what to do- thanks!

Well, you have to chose one over the other. You can't go on having this all be a big fat confusing mess.

If you like some other kid even slightly, your feelings don't seem strong enough for your bf. But then again if your spending too much time with the guy you have a crush on, that may be throwing you off. Don't leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like might leave you for the one they love.

What I mean is-- if you think this kid you have a crush on is only who you 'like' stop spending time around him. It isn't good for you. Remain friends, just not too close. Like if he calls you as much as it may kill tell him you're busy and you can't talk.

If this withdrawal really kills you, maybe you should just go out with the one you flirt with a lot. It's up to you. Judge it accordingly.

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Ive been going with this guy. Its been on and off every week or so. And a little later we always go out again. I always end up crying. Hes so overprotected i hate it. He controls me. But hes so sweet. I love him so much. We recently had an arguement about 'flirting'. We broke up. I ended up crying again. If i were giving myself advice i would say get over him, i admit it. But i cant. I try, but everytime he asks for a second chance i say yes. I cant get enough of him. Love is hell. I dont know what to do anymore. What do i do?? Im crying and miserable. I would kill myself right now =( please dont be mean or tell me to get over him because i just cant =( i wish i could but no matter what i always end up getting back together with him. If you tell me to forget about him i wont rate you high Sorry but ive tried everyway to get over him. If you say it tell me how :S Anything else would be great like what to say to him =( Im really sad right now What do i do? PLEASE HELP, Im desperate ='(

Well, atleast your honest about the fact that you cannot get over him. Anyway though...I guess love is painful sometimes and we have to take risks and sacrifices. Tell him you still have feelings and that even all the miserable OFF times don't take away from the wonderful feelings of when you guys are ON. Just tell him your gut feelings and how you need to be with him. Tell him you want to have one more shot with him. Even if you feel in your heart if you guys broke up you'd still say yes the next time, don't let him know that. Let him think this next time is precious as gold and that if he messes up once it's "over". It'll make him more cautious and stuff. I think that would be your best bet.

If I were you, I would try to get over it, and you have. You've done what you could do. Now all I wish I could do was help you be happier because I know love can be TORTURE. But for every bad season there's another good one on it's way. Hang tight and things are bound to get better whether it's gonna be tomorrow, a week, or 6 monthes. Good Luck!!

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alrite. so me and one of my ex's broke up the past may well he is like the love of my life. i love him so much. well my parents hate him and we are still friends and everything and now people are like oh yall should get bcak together ya know but my parents hate him and so i can't see that happening. we didn't break up for a bad reason. there was actually no real reason but he some how knows when i get a new bf because he doesn't want me with anybody bc he doesn't want me to fall in love with anyone else. its crazy like i have no clue what to do. so hmm what should i do..i don't really even know what im asking im just confused.

also the other day he stopped by and i gave him this huge hug and he kept kissing my head and then i just looked up and kissed him. i missed it so much that i just like had to. well it just brought back soo many memories and i miss them so much. do you think it was wrong that i kissed him?

Aw this is actually super cute. Well, what are the reasons your parents hate him?? I mean I know it might seem old-fashioned, but I know I would feel uncomfortable if my parents didn't like whoever I was dating. Anyway, it's your decision, but maybe you can get your parents to like him in time. Who knows, anyway, if you guys broke up for no reason, you still like eachother...all of that...what are you waiting for? I mean I know your parents don't like him, but unless they have reasons like Ex. he's a bad influence then I don't really understand what should stop you.

You guys are both single people who still like eachother, so it's OK you kissed him. Nothing wrong with it. It would be a different situation if you didn't like him anymore and wanted to stay friends. Because taht would cause confusion. But you like him!! He likes you! So, why not get together? I think it's really cute he stopped by your house or wherever you were. I don't think you should initiate anything but keep hanging out and if he asks you out, go for it, and make things feel right again. Good luck (wouldnt it be nice to have him back for the holidays :) ♥ )

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