Hey evryone! My name's Stefana and I love giving advice and helping people!!! You can just ask me any question you have about love, friendships, and family problems...and I'll do my best to give you the best advice I can!!!!!!
So ask away!...
E-mail: stefana3@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Ontario, Canada
Occupation: Student
Age: 17
Member Since: August 10, 2007
Answers: 59
Last Update: May 8, 2009
Visitors: 4629
Main Categories:
Love Life
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Alright so I'm nearly 16 (girl) and I've never had a boyfriend. Its not that there's somethign wrong with me or anything, its just that I'm not super outgoing or the type of person to flirt with a guy who I don't actually like. Nobody really dates at my school (I'm not kidding, there aren't that many relationships within the school, most kids' bfs/gfs go to other schools) and I don't really know many kids from other schools (haha I know, loser, right).
I never really cared about getting a boyfriend before cause it was just like, whatever, and I never really thought I was ready for it, but now I think I am and am ready to start looking this summer. Not to sound cocky but I don't think I'd necessarily have a problem getting a boyfriend, I'm fairly attractive and have a great personality (or so I've been told, haha) I just don't know where to look. So where are good places to meet guys? And what are good techniques to get the guy to make the first move?
Haha I know this sounds really lame but I don't have a lot of experience in dating and I pride myself on taking relationships slow so that they actually mean something. I don't want to date for fun, I want to date to find meaning. So I don't want to be picking up any sleazy guys hahaa
thanks so much :) (link)
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wow..you sound exactly like me when I was turning 16! lol...well I'm 17 now...so anyways, first of all, you shouldn't really worry about it too much because I know of girls who never had a bf until they were 18..lol..but yeah if you really want a bf and you don't think you can start dating some guy from your school..then some good places would be:
~the movies
~malls
~coffee shops
~teen clubs (I've tried that, but I don't think you can find a guy who wants a meaningful relationship there..lol..at least I didn't...maybe you'd have better luck..)
~you can try joining like sports teams or clubs where there would be guys and it's something that you're interested in...
Well those are some options...
Here are some techniques to get the guy to make the 1st move:
~you can try flirting from far away...that would be like the basics like checking the guy out and smiling at him from a distance...so then maybe he'll get the hint and aproach you.
~Or you can get a friend to introduce you to some guys...so that can widen your social circle of guys..lol.. :p
And just you know..yeah try networking..lol..
And don't be afraid to aproach a guy because chances are he's more afraid of you..lol..because pretty girls can be intimidating to a guy..if he really likes you...unless he's a player then he won't be intimidated. lol...but yeah I'm pretty sure there's tons of guys who like you..they just don't know how to aproach you..so give them a break and try aproaching them...even though it may seem impossible..lol..i know..but how else can you expect to get out there into the dating world?..
Well you already have the confidence..which is good. So then this should be easier for you! :)
Well I hope I helped!! :)
And good luck!
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Im pregnant, and my boyfriend doesn't want the baby, neither do I, but he would like me to get an abortion, and I don't believe in that. What should I do?
(link)
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Yeah don't have an abortion..lol..um...can you try giving it up for adoption or something?
or maybe if you have some relatives who want a baby...like aunts and uncles that you could give it too...
~Hope I helped!!
*Good Luck!* :)
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I'm young,16, and i tend to be one of those girls that gets too involved when i'm in a relationship. I get too attatched. I'm not looking to get married or anything or serious stuff, i'm finally trying to have fun and just talk to different guys but still being careful. So there is this guy he is so cute and i like him. he is a player, but i don't care cuz this time i'm not going to get too attatched. but i just want to know if it truly sounds like he likes me. He'll text me all the time. Calls me almost every night, one problem is sometimes he says he will call me back and he doesnt. Why?...He wants to chill for his birthday. He flirts like mad when we are around each other. (link)
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Well the reason why he says he'll call, but never does is because he's a player...simple as that. lol...well I honestly think that when a guy says that he'll call..it isn't really that important to him to call..like it doesn't really matter to him as much...so he forgets.
Now as for the "mad flirting"..lol..well that's what typical players do, but the key to this is how does he act around the other girls? Like does he also flirt w/ them or w/e?
But yeah it seems like he likes you, but just be careful...
~Hope I helped!!
*Good Luck!* :)
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Ok so me and this kid has been dating on and off since january. well wheni first started dating him he was just a kid to help me get over my last ex. But i think in late january i fell in love with him. and we have been through a lot like i got into a fight for him and got suspended. well anyhow when i go to date another guy he wants me back but he always dates other girls but its impossible for me to get over him when he does this. He currently is dating someone else but i havent tried to date anyone new since we broke up last any help? (link)
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Well when you date other guys then he wants you back because the whole jelousy thing kicks in...it's a perfectly normal reaction. Anyways, my guess is that he's dating the other girls either to get over you or to try and get you jelous. Like he might just want to see how you react to all that. Or maybe he's just trying not to get caught up and all of these sad feelings over losing you..so he's just trying to move on and get on with his life.
Well unless you're up for all the drama and everything...I suggest you steer clear from him. On-again-off-again relationships never work out...well couples fight in every relationship. Fighting is perfectly normal, but that doesn't mean you have to keep breaking up.
If you really want to try and make this work without all the unnecassary breaking up...then i suggest you talk to him about trying this one more time. (like maybe after he's done with his current gf. lol) and then see if things work out...if not..well at least you tried.
Hope I helped!!
*Good Luck!* :)
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I have been going out with this guy for 6 months now. I totally love him. But before i started going out with him he was going out with this girl. He actually cheated on her with me, but broke up with her to be with me. But when the girl found out he was with me she got mad and started stuff with me. I guess she is hurt and stuff. We even got in a fight in school (she goes to the same school as me.) But i found out my bf still talks to her. And it is late when they talk. I never told him to stop talking to her but he said he did but I know he hasn't. Why is he lying to me, does he still have feelings for her?? Or what is it?? I dont know what to think!! (link)
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Well since he cheated at all in the 1st place...that just shows that he's a cheater. And even though this time when he cheated...it was in your favor, but chances are that he could cheat on you too.
So yeah, you have the right to be suspisious because by the looks of it...it doesn't seem like you can trust this guy. Especially since you know he's lying. And trust is very important in a relationship.
So since you have no reason to trust him and he's lying to you and he has cheated before..and chances are he could cheat on you too...then why are you still with this guy? lol..no to sound harsh or anything...I'm just trying to get my point across...
but yeah, I think he might still have feelings for her. And you know that...once you love someone, you never completely get over them. you'll always have even the tiniest bit of feelings towards them.
Well I hope I cleared things up for you! lol
*Good luck!* :)
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Hey all, Im 15/f. And my boyfriend and i have been together for a little over a year. He messaged me on myspace and said i am to obessive. even though he and never talk. Im very sonfused, he didnt break up with me, but i felt horrible after and now i am trying to back off, amd not talk as much. He called me later that night and said he was sorry that we got in a fight.. but now he is hardly talking to me.. Iddk what to do. Any advice?
Thanks in advance (link)
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Well I can think of two things that could be going on...
One: He might be cheating on you, but he doesn't wanna break up with you because he still likes you or he doesn't wanna be out of a relationship since he's not exactly dating "her"...it's just like a hook-up...
OR
Two: He's just too busy with whatever and he doesn't have enough time to talk to you...
But either way, it's not looking good...because if he is just too busy then he should find more time for you...
So my advice for you would be to just look into this some more. Like pay more attention to how he acts around you...and stuff...
Oh and the whole fight about you being too obsessive could've been his way of dropping a hint that he wants to break up with you, but maybe he just doesn't know how.
I'm really sorry about this, but I hope I helped clear things up for you..
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We have been dating for 7 months, we are true and strong. We don't fight about stupid little things, we don't do drugs or drink or party like a normal teenager. We truly want to grow old together. We talk every chance we get, we never grow annoyed of each other, and we never get sick of hanging out. We have a promise to never break up and truly try and solve the problem. But since I'm a teenager, I feel immature, but I'm not. And I can sense that people think we wont last (adults).
Is it possible that we will one day be married, and have a happy ever after? (link)
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awww...that is so cute!! :) lol
k anyways, yeah I think you guys will definatly work out! You seem like the perfect couple!
And yeah, happily ever afters do happen.. :)
I wish the best of luck to both of you!!! :D
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So I have been talking to this guy for about a month he was my high school crush well he told me the other dayhes has the biggest crush on me for the longest time. Well he said he was givin me 3 months to see how I am around him which I can understand havent seen really seen/talked to each other since high school and he has ADHD and he doesnt take meds for it he wants to see how I act on his bad days. He said we will be pretty much together by then hes like unless you dont wanna be. And we was talking about my ex and how he hurt me hes like you put up with that asshole when here was a guy thats wanted to be with you all along. Well I dont know much about ADHD but he has days where you can tell somethings bugging him or he wont talk to me for that day is that normal? And do you see us being together? (link)
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Well I know that the symptoms for ADHD are trouble paying attention, trouble sitting still even for a short time, and acting before thinking.
But I don't think that "moodiness" has something to do with it...so he may be having some other issue too.
Well he sounds really adorable...like he really likes you a lot! lol...I think that's so cute...anyways, well do you still like him? Cause like I can't really tell you if you two belong together...if you really like him, then go for it! I don't see a problem with that. There's nothing wrong with having ADHD...it's not a severe thing.
He might also have bipolar disorder if he has days when he doesn't talk to you, but that shouldn't be something to worry about. Just tell him that you'll be there for him if he needs to talk. So then he knows he can talk to you about anything.
Hope I helped! And good luck!! :)
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ok well im kinda dumb haha my boyfriends smart. he analyzes me all the time n sometimes i take it the wrong way. so can you please tell me what you think he is saying here:
i think you wallow in a bank of self pity not quite adressing it because you are too busy trying to help others n most of the time this leads to your discomfort which you dont mind because you feel like you deserve it i also think you have a subconsciously weird obsession with what could have been not what is
WHAT DO YOU THINK HE IS SAYING?!?!?! thanks! (link)
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I think he's trying to say that you often feel sad, but you don't take the time to reflect on those feelings because you are too busy being concerned with other people. When you should be more concerned with yourself. And most of the time, you not reflecting on your feelings, leads you to being upset...which you don't mind because you think you deserve feeling that way. Also, he's saying that you tend to dwel on the past and think about "what could have been", when you should just move on and think about "what is"...
I hope I actually made this make sense! lol
Like I get what he's trying to say, but It's kind of hard to explain...I hope you understand. :)
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My crush's name is Kyle he's a super cutie & he's 15 just like me. We have a really awsome friend-ship now for a little over a year, I've told him before that I like him he just said he wanted to be friends( year ago) now, all are friends & me think he likes me, I just don't know how to bring that topic up again being I'm only a 15 year-old girl who really doesn't wanna break this wonderful friend-ship, besides I don't even know if he knows he likes me. My question, How do I tell I still have the same feelings for him I did a year ago with-out messing up are friend-ship?
～signed,
Gabriella, girl, 15
(link)
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Well are you sure that he may like you?
You might wanna spend some time looking for more signs that may indicate that he likes you.
And to be even more sure, try flirting with him. See how he reacts. But don't go too overboard with the flirting...you don't wanna scare him away. Be kinda subtle.
Like you could try the classics like touching his arm lightly when you're talking to him and also like smiling at him and like laughing at his jokes and fliping your hair...you know, stuff like that. Then watch his reaction. Hopefully he flirts back...or at least has a positive reaction and smiles or something...then that must mean he likes you.
Once you are sure...then you can try talking to him. Just make sure that there's no one with you when you talk to him. You can pick a casual spot like at school or something, but just make sure you're away from other people (if you can) to not put him on the spot. He seems like a nice guy considering that the last time when you told him how you felt, he agreed to stay friends. Not many guys would do that. Other guys would probably get scared off. So I'm sure he'll understand when you tell him again.
Just tell him that you still like him, but that you'll agree to just stay friends if he doesn't feel the same and that you'll be able to get over your feelings somehow. So that way it shows that you really value his friendship and you don't wanna lose it. So then if he doesn't feel the same then he will agree to still be friends with you.
If you're already sure enough that he likes you, then you can skip all the flirting and what not and jump right to the "telling him" part.
Wow this is long!
Anyway, good luck and I hope things work out!! :)
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18 F
When I don't talk to him (phone, text, in person), I'm sad, ready to break up with him because I'm so scared of getting hurt. It's like I'm wondering what he's doing and my mind goes crazy.
....but when I do talk to him....
I get so happy and excited and want to be with him forever.
He does certain things that are amazingly amazing.
and then he does things that make me say WTF.
I want to break up with him when I'm not communicating with him sooo badly, but when I am I just can't do it.
WHAT do I do?????? (link)
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Well first of all, you have to have trust with whoever you're dating. That's the number 1 thing in a relationship. Second of all, do you have a reason to feel like he's cheating or something? Like have you witnessed any signs of it? If not, then you shouldn't just suspect he's doing something. I know it can be hard at times when you're not communicating, to let your imagination run wild, but you have to try if you want this relationship to work out.
It sounds to me like you've probably been hurt in relationships before so then it's hard for you to have trust. But you have to remember that every guy is different. Just because maybe someone else hurt you, doesn't mean he will.
So my advice to you is to either refrain from suspecting anything while you're not talking to him...or to just simply talk to him about how you're feeling when you don't hear from him...whatever's easier for you...
~Hope I helped!~
*Good luck! :)
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So theres this boy whom I never talk to.. like NEVER ... I am so shy...people basically have to talk to me or I don't talk to them... the thing is... he's even shyer than I am... I really like him.. Like I've had a crush on him forever... but I don't know... I'd like to talk to him.. but I don't want to sound retarded.. and I have no idea what to talk about. TTYY for helpin!! (link)
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First of all, you should really try talking to him! If he's shyer than you then he'll be happy that you were brave enough to talk to him first 'cause maybe he wanted to talk to you, but was too shy. So just smile and act confident! Smiling helps you look more confident and when you talk to him, look him in the eyes...don't be looking down or all around 'cause that doesn't look very confident.
Secondly, here are some things you could talk about...
http://www.myjellybean.com/guys/flirting/convo.htm
I found this site for great conversation starters!!!!!!
~Hope this helps!~
*Good Luck!!!*
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I really like this guy. Whenever we're alone together he flirts with me nonstop and I really like it. But when we're around other people he flirts with every girl he sees... more or less. .. and when its me and my best friend and him he pretty much ignores me and pays a ton of attention to her ... So I guess my question is is What do you do if the guy you like likes your best friend? (link)
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Well this guy's a big flirt! It's not that he truly likes any particular girl, he just likes to flirt with every girl!
My best advice would be to stay away from him(as hard as it may be)'cause he's nothing but trouble. Trust me, I had experiences with guys like this. 1 minute he'd be flirting with you and then you blink and he's gone flirting with some other girl.
I'd advise your best friend to stay away from him too because it's not that he likes 'her', he's just really shallow and will take whatever he can get...
~So good luck with that!~
*Hope I helped!*
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ii really like this boy :( (link)
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Well if you really love him and don't think you'd be able to just move on then I think that you could try telling him how you really feel by saying that you really like him and that he should give you a chance(if you haven't already tried that), but if you have and he rejected you or if when you do try this and he still rejects you then I'm really sorry, but there's not much more you can do. Some things just aren't ment to be and I know it hurts, but I'm sure you'll find someone else soon enough and he'll love you probably even more than you love him! :)
Anyway, I hope things work out between you and that guy, but if they don't...don't go getting all depressed! Just keep your head up and stay positive and you'll find the right guy for you! :)
*Good Luck!*
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Just recently I told my boyfriend how I truly
felt, that I wasn't as happy with our relationship like before and he said he felt the same way. Then he went on about how it feels like I don't care about him at school. Also he told me how it seems when I show up to his group in the morning he feels he can't act himself or I'll think he's "fudging weird" and just leave. Which is true because his
group of friends do embarrass me. They are loud, obnoxious, and weird. He can be sometimes too and I get really annoyed. We can't find a solution to our problem and I need help fast! Any ideas to what we should do? We've been dating for 2 months.
we're both juniors in high school. (link)
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Well I think you both should really try talking it out. He should be able to feel like he CAN be himself because it's horrible if a boyfriend and girlfriend can't be themselves around eachother!
Did you talk to him how his friends embarrass you? If not, you should! I'm sure he'll understand...
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all right, so after he found out I liked him, it turned out he liked me too. but he doesn't TALK to me. and he hasn't looked at me all day. maybe it's cos he's shy, but isn't that pathetic? a little glance in the hallway isn't too scary, is it? augh.
whenever I smile at him, he looks the other way. but the other day, I glanced at him to see he was looking at me, and that was it.
basically, is it cos he's really shy or doesn't like me etc.? thanks! (link)
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Well I think that he does like you, but he's just shy. So you should try talking to him first and then hopefully he'll get more comfortable around you and then he'll be able to start some conversations too.
So good luck with that...I hope I helped!:)
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I am 16/m/uk..
Me and my girlfriend have been gong out for around 15 months now..
Recently, things seem different on her behalf.. As in things have suddenly beomce different between us.. I know this might be strange but sometimes i like to be made feel special.. Throughout most of our relationship we've sort of had an issue with that n some of the time ive felt like ive put in more effort than her..
Recently she started hanging around with a group of guys which i dont pertiularly like but i respect the fact that they are friends and so i do not try and create a wedge between them..
We also like quite far apart.. and this can make it difficult at times to see eachother.. This means when she does go out (which is almost eveyday) it is with these guys..
I think some of this may be jelousy that she spends alot more time with them than she does me..
Its hard to explain really what i feel but just something inside tells me she doesnt feel like she used to.. Maybe its cos she is not showing me that she loves me enough.. i honestly dont know..
Recently she does things like not reply to my txts straight away because she is around these guys.. Whenever we are on the phone all she seems to tell me about is what she did with them that day and it bugs me..
I wanna find sum mutual ground but i dont know how..
I guess i just want her to make me feel special at times.. i just dont know how to go about doing it..
Appreciate any help
Thanks
Sanj.. (link)
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awww...you seam like a really nice guy...and you deserve a girlfriend who's way better than that! My advice to you is to dump her because it's not good for you to be with someone that doesn't give you the attention that you deserve! It seams like she's trying to tell you that she wants to break up with you, but she doesn't know how..so she's just hangin' out with those guys, hoping that you'll take the hint...I'm really sorry that she's like that, but if you really care about her, you should try talking to her. So than you can sort all this out...I hope my advice helped!
*Good Luck*:)
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Okay so I've been talking to this guy for about a month over the phone and like he is soo sweet and he told me he loves me. Okay well thats not the problem, the confusion comes from him telling me he'll call me and never does or that when he doesnt call i get all "he doesnt like me" and ive never in my life liked someone this much and i havent ever met him in person. Why do i get so upset with myself when he doesnt call? I'm scared i'm going to mess this whole 'relationship' up before it ever gets started and i have commitment issues and i know i do, but i want to be with him. Does age have anything to do with this cause he is 24 and i'm 18? this has got me all confused and worried and upset. any advice would be gratefull. thanks so much.
xox Kim (link)
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Well maybe he just forgets to call you or he's way too busy, but just don't worry that he doesn't like you. I know it's hard because I'm the same way, but he told you that he loves you...so that should mean way more than wheather he calls you or not. When that happens, just try to stay calm and maybe you could try asking him howcome he hasn't called. Oh and I don't think that age should matter because if he really cares about you than age shouldn't matter...
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Im a girl & i am 13 years old. I really really like this guy. Im head over heals for him, and i feel so good when im around him. heres the problem: he's taken. I know i need to just wait my time, but I feel that if i wait any longer i will BURST! School starts in one week...and him & his gf both go to my school. I would just avoid him, but i go to a private school with only 10 kids in my class. I like him so much, but i know better than to tell him i like him when he is dating a differnt girl....but when hes with her & im there i pretty much dont exsist. please help me. :(
-heartbroken
(link)
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Dear heartbroken,
Well if you don't wanna wait any longer...and ofcourse it wouldn't be right to tell him how you feel, when he's with another girl. So right now you could try just becoming friends with him. Get to know him better. Than when he breaks up with his girlfriend than you could tell him how you feel.
*Good Luck*
~HottStuff
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So my boyfriend plans to come over to my house and I guess meet my parents...but see, the thing is, they don't know I have a boyfriend.
I think that they suspect it because I've never brought guys to my house before, because I've never wanted to have to deal with it.
Anyways, I want to tell them he's gay, so they think that I just have a gay friend so he can come over all the time.
And it would be totaly believable that he's gay, cuz he is kinda metro haha. (link)
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I think it would be better if you told your parents because sooner or later it will get found out anyway...
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