Q: I'm 15 and I've been going out with this girl for a few months now and she tells me that she has a hard time trusing people because of things that had happened in her past. It's not previous bf's or anything because i'm her first real boyfriend. she says she really does try to trust me but but its hard for her. She started to tell me about her past and stuff and i can already start to see why but I really do love her and she does love me and i really want her to be able to trust me, she has had too much happen to her in her life and i just want to be there for her, be someone she can talk to and confide to but thats kinda hard if she has troble trusting me and i know she wants to be able to trust me too. I know in time she'll learn to trust me but i want to know if there is anyway I can help start to trust me more. What confuses me is that she trusts me enough to basicly tell me her entire life story but not enough to to tell me about the small things that are bothering her because she like hides her emotions from others because all her life no one really cared about her feelings so she hides them so i never know when something is bothering her unless she tells me. Also we arn't together that often because she has strict parents and stuff, so we talk mostly on AIM.

She has been putting up this wall to cover up her feelings and emotions for years now. all of her emotions have stayed bottled up for so long and she almost never takes down that barier because of her difficulty with trusting others. and i am ALMOST NEVER with her. her parents rules are like for her to come to my house one of my parents have to be home and one of her parents have to be home at her house whitch is kinda stupid. and if i go to her hpuse i can only be there for an hour, even more stupid. and we cant be with each other after school on school days and stuff except for the occasional football game which isnt wat i want really i want to be alone with her so that we can just talk privitly but thats another one of her dads rules we cant be alone togehter. so anything really deep o personl we talk about is on the computer.

I have told her all of this before she just has such a hard time trusting people bcuz of her past

Please can anyone help me????????

Q: and here I am again. A New guy. I work with him and hes 22. I'm 18. We only work together for about 2 weeks. Hes really quiet and shy.
On thursday while we were loading (Picking up ppl to bring back to the cruise ship) We talked in the van a little bit, and he kidna opened up. And then he like stroked my chin. when getting back into the van my supervisor is like "Go sit with your boyfriend." ????....and then after work..he came up to me with arm wide open and gave me a 1 minute hug. On Monday I got to see him again..and he didnt say anything. He just looked at me and raised his eyebrows like usual. (You kno when someone looks like they have sumthin to say) well he looked like that. And right b4 work class my supervisor (woman)..she says "Go get your boyfriend, ______"....OMG why me?..and after work i ask him wheres my hug?..and he gave me a cheap 99 cent hug..WAT?...I'm so confused..and one of my other co-workers told me that he does have a 4yr old child.

Q: I dated a guy for almost 2years he was my everything and he was my first. We fougt aloot but we always made up and we knew we loved eachother. things got bad to where we would fight and i would scream and cry every night but there was always something that kept us together. We lived about 20min away driving. But he would sometimes WALK to my house just to see me or get things straigted out no matter the weather. I cant explain our feelings and what we did for eachother. Finally i got tired of the crying and screaming and we broke up. I got a new bf whom ive been with for 2 and half years hes great and we barly fight i love him alot and i know he loves me more then the world and would do anything for me. However, i cannot stop thinking about my ex! hes in my dreams alot and i miss him terribly i feel guilty because i have a bf now but i cannot stop thinking about my ex i do notknow why hes in the military and i always told myself i wouldnt date a military guy but i would for him i dont know why...ive hung out with him be4 and things didnt go too smooth but no matter what i just cant stop thinking about him and i dont know why my current bf is great but my ex just wont leave me mind..

Q: I am 16 years old & from Florida.
& so is the guy in my story.

here's the story...

Last October(2008)I met my stepbrother.
when i laid my eyes on him, I was immediately attracted. He was taller than me, finally! someone taller.. he had long hair and was/is skaterish looking. When we met he was formally dressed. He was on his way to church. Which is one of the things I love about him. He's christian and saving himself for marriage like me. Its so hard to find somebody like that these days.. He also plays guitar,sings a little, and is learning piano. Great, a musician. could he make it any harder me?! Anyways, his mother and I are the best of friends and she tells me everything about him. she and her daughter, my stepsister, even once compared us because we supposably have the same personality. which is awesome because i find myself kind of interesting. But the problem is that we are extremely shy around each other. If we have the same personality then I imagine him to be goofy and funny. But whenever we're around each other its just akward. So akward that we dont even talk. Not to each other, not to anyone. Thanksgiving the whole family was their and we were the only ones not talking at the table. Everyone was asking us if we were okay at times but I really wasnt. I'm falling in love with boy that is supposed to be like a brother figure now that my dad and his mom are married but I cant help it. I cant control my feelings, or what my heart desires. I daydream and he pops out of nowhere; I can't get him out of my head. We're related but not blood. Is that wrong? What should I do?

Q: I Need Advice. Im Fifteen Years Old And Has Only Had A Couple Boyfriends In My Life. I Do Have A Low Self Esteem Issue, But I Need To Find Ways To Like Myself So I Know Guys Will Like Me....


I Really Want A Boyfriendddddd!!!!!

Q: I am an 8th grader he is a 9th grader and he is definitely not the goodest guy to like. He smokes weed,drinks,smokes,sex and shit like that.I am not no goodie goodie.But yah what do you reccomend? stay away or what

Q: 16/f
This may get very confusing. Names have been changed...

I used to hang out with a guy named Donald, Donald and I hung out a LOT, and did everything together, including sexual stuff. Well I wanted a relationship and Donald didn't, so we stayed as friends with benefits. (Donald had girlfriends the whole time I was talking to him, very bad idea, but I was definitely falling for him and he knew it...)
One day Donald picks me up and he had brought his friend Brandon with him. I was always hanging out with Donald and his friends. They all knew me, and they all liked me. (They're my second family now.)
Well when I met Donalds friend, Brandon I immediatley thought he was good looking! And there was just something about him that I could tell I liked him right away. Well since I had feelings for Donald I continued to mess with Donald, and me and Brandon became good friends.

Recently, Brandon invited me to come hang out with him, and stay the night so we could drink and hang out. Well, at the time I didn't really think I liked Brandon that way..Well come to find out I definately like him a whole LOT.
Brandon kissed me, I kissed back. He asked me out, I said yes. Brandon told Donald. Donald was okay with it, but told Brandon I would most likely cheat on him, which I definately won't.

But anyways I have a feeling Donald might call me up one night, and ask me to hang out with him which will lead to sexual stuff, and I don't want to cheat on Brandon. If Donald calls what should I tell him? Because I don't want him mad at me, I still love him, just not in love with him.
I love all of them, and I don't want anybody to get hurt, what should I do?

Q: Well, there's this guy at school and we're friends..
I wouldn't say we went out before, but we had a kind of 'fling' it wasn't very serious, so I won't really count it as a relationship, and this was about a year ago, so it's old now.

Anyway, the point is, I don't even know what brought it on, but we were talking one day and I felt myself starting to think about him again afterwards, and I'm pretty sure I'm starting to like him in that way again..

I just wanna know if I should say something about liking him, or refrain..'cause I don't want it to seem like I'm messing him around, since the last thing that happened with us was a year ago... but at the same time, I'd kinda like to tell him and see if he feels the same. I mean, we got on well when we were 'together', and we have loads in common, so I don't see why not..

Anyway just confused, opinions would be greatly appreciated. :)

Q: I'm kind of surprised at myself, asking a question on here about my love life. Usually I can deal things out on my own- but lately I've realized my antics only lead to the same outcome :unhappy and alone. Here's the lowdown-

My friend,we'll call her X, used to really like this kid- Z. So it was fine, I was happy for them if anything were to come out of it.So they were on webcam, and i went on just to say hi. Then "Z", ends up telling my friend X, that he has a huge crush on me. Thing is, i found it kind of odd,seeing as usually to like someone you have to talk to them first.(that's how i am,anyway) So naturally my friend X, was crushed. I felt horrible, because i only wanted the best for them two. X finally moves on from Z, and she gets a boyfriend-who she claims to be "in love" with. (mind you they've been dating for a matter of two weeks- ALSO, a side question before i get to my major one- WHY do people do that? Say they love someone so fast? I think its ridiculous, am i missing something?) Anyway, X is moved on. And lately "Z" and i have been talking. He's 18 and i'm 16. We're okay talking,but i can still tell that X likes him, no matter how much she "loves" her new boyfriend. The thing is- somethings telling me to not go for Z. But; this ALWAYS happens to me when i start to develop feelings for people! I really want a relationship- but every time i get close to some one, i get scared of what they'll think of me and I'll try to fade away. I feel like I'm jinxing myself in from every angle here just writing this, but can someone help me out? How can i never get close to someone? Why do i fear feelings? I've never had a male figure to really rely on, but my inability to let someone in is starting to feel like a disability. I know i'm all over the place with this but i'd really like to get my love life in order :P. Any help on any of the topics i've talked about would really help! thank you.

Q: 22/ Female

I went out with this guy for about a month in 2007 before the the month we were fooling around. Right now I've been thinking a lot about him but the last time we hung out it was really uncomfortable I ended up filing a report on him and yeah I don't know if he knows or not. Also he's talking to another ex girlfriend that he meet through me...the girl is a bit of a gossip chick if you ask me.

I just called him and left him a message...I don't know what to do or if I should even go through with this. I was thinking of talking to him over dinner with just the two of us. Can someone give me some advice or maybe an experience that they've had. Thanks! =)

Q: 16/f

when i was in 9th grade, jus turned 14 years old, i became really good friends with a junior, 17 years old. lets call him T. me and T had pretty much EVERYTHIN in common, from favorite color/food/hobbies/music, to my name bein the girl version of his, our artwork, to heartbreak/family problems, i mean everything ! obviously we bonded a lot, but he had an evil jealous girlfriend who would never let us hang out. shed send me threatening messages but she never really did anythin about it. so basically, we kept our friendship under the radar.

at the end of the year me and him began 'talkin' because him and his girlfriend broke up. the only bad part was that i got in trouble for some things and wouldnt be able to hang out much over the summer. i told him that and that we can pick up everythin after summer ended. he went back to his ex girlfriend... :(

my sophomore and his senior year, we really began hangin out more, eatin lunch together, chillin outside of school. of course it killed me because him and his girlfriend were still together. but of course they broke up for a period and time... this is where i mess up: i was scared to be in a relationship with him because we were such good friends and i didnt wanna screw everythin up. so i told him we can still kiss and dadadada :X i ended up backin out of it because it just wasnt right of me to do and i told him that.

then, he got in biiiiiiiig trouble for bein with some kids who vandalized a really expensive house and was on house arrest. he got switched into my art class and we reconnected again, but it wasnt the same, i was like shy around him.

i hadnt talked to him all summer but then i talked to him on a the phone for a couple of hours, and i realized how much i missed the damn kid. more then anyone or anythin.
next thing i know, HE HAS A NEW GIRLFRIEND, not his old one..but a new one.
i sent him a message on myspace apologizin for everythin and that i just miss talkin to him as a person and havin him as my best friend. i told him i never felt this way about anyone before and im not tryin to change anythin that he has with his girlfiend, but i hadda get it off my chest (which is true).

now my hearts broken and i dont know what to do. some circumstances i think would keep us from datin, but i feel myself wantin to cry over this kid. hes my soulmate and i just know it. what can i do !? i just want to be his best friend again., i wanna play it cool so i dont ruin his relationship, because im not a homewrecker. how can i keep him talkin to me?



thanks :(

Q: Well, I'm shy.I really want to get out of being shy! I've been this way for as long as i can remember. Now I'm not like, shy shy, like one of those people who hides in a corner and doesnt talk to anyone, but I'm the kind of shy that keeps me from being overactive. I'm hyper and honestly, perverted, at times. I like being hyper but it only lasts for a little while then I go straight back into my shell. I also want to be less shy with my boyfriend and be able to actually have fun with him..any tips?

Q: okay so, boy crisis.. last night i was with my boyfriend and we were umm, awkward sorry, being intimate lets just say, and well obviously i wasnt completely paying attention to what he was saying but then all of a sudden i heard, or at least i thought i heard him say "i love you" so i was like 'omg omg omg' in my head and said it back, cause well, i kinda do..though i did so rather quietly, but then he said/asked me something random that made me think he didnt actually say it..so now i'm really freaking out for many reasons..

1. did he say it!?
2. if he did, did he hear me or said the random something to avoid the silence and non-response?
3. if he didn't, did he hear me say it, and that's why he said the random something cause he doesn't?
4. i can't just ask him "hey, did you say 'i love you' last night?"
5. did i just completely scew myself over with this!?

Q: I am in love with someone who doesnt care. there is no one to move on to and i need physical attention so i keep going back to him. I would just have sex with someone else but i just cant do it. i keep going back to the same guy thinking i am going to change his mind bc i think he really does love me back. i have gone long periods of time without talking to him and i miss him i dont want anyone else and i am not happy by myself

Q: So I'm the type of person that says "I love you" a lot. Like, my family's as dysfunctional as can be, but I always make sure to say it before I leave the house or hang up the phone. I say it to my best of friends whenever I say "bye," and whenever even an acquaintance makes me laugh or does something nice for me, I'm always like, "holy crap, I love you," and I mean it.

I met this guy in late September and we went on our first date less than two weeks after meeting. Because we talked nearly nonstop over text and IM, we were super, super comfortable with each other by the second date. We saw each other unofficially for four weeks and have been officially dating for nearly three weeks. This is my first serious relationship (I'm 16) though he's had a few girlfriends before me (he's 18).

I'm not one to overcomplicate love (obviously). You don't have to love everything about a person to love them. This guy is the sweetest-- he compliments me constantly, isn't afraid of PDA (romantic kisses goodbye, not makeout sessions), would do anything for me, and would never want to intentionally hurt me. He's not "in it to hit it" either-- he knows I'm abstaining until marriage and he's fine with that, and we didn't even kiss until the third date.

What I'm saying is, I know I love him, but is there a clear difference in the love you feel inside when loving someone as a person and loving someone romantically? He makes me happy, and I want to spend every second talking to him and just being with him. And I could not STAND to see him with another girl. But what qualifies love to be romantic rather than loving someone as a person? Have I already crossed it?

Also, how soon is "too soon" to say it? I know his family says it a lot too, and he says it to his family in front of me, so I know he's not uncomfortable saying it. But I don't want to freak him out.

Any advice whatsoever appreciated, or past experiences :) Thanks so much!

Q: So I went to go see someone who I had never met before in person, and we had a nice couple of days together...we even kissed and slept in the same bed together (I didn't actually "Sleep with him" though)...he never said anything about being attracted to me or any type of compliment for that matter...and he would reject me trying to give him affection when it wasn't bedtime...this made me become even shyer and less talkative and ESPECIALLY less confident in myself (I don't have a lot of confidence in my looks or personality to begin with)...now that I'm back home, he won't even talk to me...when he's online, he won't say anything to me...I don't understand, and I am very confused and hurt...

Q: ok im a 17 female. and my boyfriend is going to be 18 in january. were both virgins and we really want to have sex! weve been together for almost a year. and everytime were together we always carry around my baby brother. like if were alone the adults are super watching us. so my boyfriend started saying just bring your brother. cause everytime hes with us then they kinda give us a little break and stuff. well i get mad cause i dont want him with us every single freaking time! and my boyfriend doesnt find anything wrong with it. well i was complaining to my mom and she says that she can tell me and him want to go further with eachother and he probably keeps my baby brother around to keep his mind off of sex and us being alone cause if we were alone wed probably do something so my baby brother is something to his mind off of us doing stuff. she said thats how guys minds work. well i askd him flat out. and he said thats true, cause he does want to have sex with me but he doesnt want us to get in trouble or anything cause we both agree that we think if we were alone we would probably try to do it. well my question to all you guys is that really how you guys think? if you dont want to have sex cause your still a little scared of the consequences you find something to keep your mind off of it? thanks in advance

Q: 15/f

It's my first year of highschool and I’ve made many friends (mainly juniors). I've been asked out quite a few times which is, to be honest, a weird thing to experience considering I’ve spent the past nine years in a school being referred to as "the tranz" or "the ugly fuck". A little while ago, no more than a little over a month ago, I began going out "dating" my friend. He's a junior and it being that we both had just recovered or somewhat recovered from abusive relationships, well, we understood each other and could empathize completely with each other.
I'm adopted and for some reason when it comes to serious relationships or even just friendships, my abandonment issues tend to lose control and instead of being extremely clingy because I’ve become so attracted to them I do complete opposite and, for a short time, become extremely apathetic towards them . I don’t do this intentionally. It’s difficult to explain but, in short, I try my best to not show how much I depend on them and refrain from smothering them. (even though that’s actually how I feel inside) I do this because I’m afraid they’ll get freaked out and leave me. Almost every guy I’ve been remotely close with has abandoned me for either not getting with them or maybe disappointing them in some way which is natural I suppose but the way I see it is that if they really want to be with me or care about me, they’ll forgive me and stay with me. No guy has ever done that.
So I was dating my friend (like I said he’s a junior and literally has all the freshman and sophomores and even a few seniors on him) and was thrilled because we made each other so happy. But then I went through my stupid little apathy phase and I suppose he became disinterested and we stopped dating and came to the conclusion that we would better ourselves by just remaining very close friends. The feeling was mutual at the time. We dated for over a month and so during that time I actually began to really like him. I still like him and everyday tend to want to be with him more and more. (even if I don’t show it) Lately we’ve gotten closer, physically that is. We’ve held hand throughout a whole entire movie. He’s learned that I moan when I get bitten and so bites me and picks me up all the time. He bear hugs me and puts me so close to his face that my lips skip his cheeks.
A couple nights ago I told him I regret fucking up like I did and apologized for my strange behavior that took place prior to our break up and ask him if he would ever consider giving me another chance and/or if he would ever be interested in me again. His response:
“probably, but if I do I probably won’t act much on it” and “_____, we’ve already discussed this. We tried and it didn’t work out. We had an agreement remember?”
Before dating we agreed not to fuck up our friendship and to just try dating. If it didn’t work out we weren’t going to make a big deal over it. BUT another part of our agreement was that we would never do anything or would never intentionally hurt each other by misleading each other.
My question is: What am I supposed to do if every time we embrace I become closer to kissing him? What does he mean by saying he won’t act on his feelings if he ever wants to date again? He’s saying he won’t give me a second chance. Why, if he’s over it, would he suddenly be so touchy still when we agreed not to mislead each other like that? Is there possibly some way I can move past my abandonment issues? (I always have to wait and see if they’ll actually stay with me and not abandon me but unfortunately that all happened after and most likely the cause of our break up) What reasons could he possibly have to be unwilling to give me another chance?
For anyone who can lend me some advice, I greatly appreciate it and apologize for the lengthiness of this question. It’s difficult for me to articulate my problem in short terms.

Q: 15/f

so me and my boyfriend of 8 months recently broke up but its nothing official because we have these bipolar moments where we say we hate each other and the next we're hugging and kissing each other. but he says we need a break because i was "unfaithful" to him 2 months ago. and now people at school have been saying that he is trying to get with this other girl, but i never see them talking or together so i dont even know if this is true. i know he has her number because i saw it in his phone but other than that, i wouldnt even think they knew each other. i really love him alot, there's no way i can possibly move on, there's no one out there for me except him .... so please i need to find a way to get him back and a way to prove to him that i really do love him or make him want me back . PLEASE HELP ASAP !!

Q: Well I'm a junior in high school, and last year this boy, who flirts a lot with many girls, including me, started to really have feelings for me, and I just blew it off because he was always just play flirting. He finally convinced me he was serious, and I really started to develop feelings for him. I found out he had a girlfriend this whole time, and got mad at him for flirting so much with me. He told me he didn't like her and broke up with her. I really liked him so we started dating over the summer. He started acting very weird and ignoring me after a few weeks, I finally got sick of it and we decided we were going to take a break, which turned into a break-up. We came back to school and he apparently liked a new girl. He still texts me and tells me he misses talking to me, but always changes the subject when it comes to our relationship. He also told me he didn't like the other girl. I don't know what to do because I've tried to get over this boy but I really think I fell in love, and now I'm stuck because I know I should get over him but I cant. I don't know what to do because he obviously has problems with staying with one girl, but i just dont get how he can go from being sooo into me, to this. I'm just miserable and don't know what to do because I dont want to give this up when I know hes the one for me. Please any advice that would help would be greatly appreciated:)

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