Gender: Female
Occupation: student
Age: 19
Member Since: August 22, 2006
Answers: 138
Last Update: October 22, 2010
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I don't know what to do with him! I found out from my bff that my bf made a facebook group thing about our relationshp. I went and red a few things on it and it is personal and nothing anybody should know but us so I told him I knew he had a secret he was keeping from me but not what it was so he would tell me or something but he didn't. i kinda thought that he posted stuff and didn't think it was bad and I wanted to give him chances to say so but he just said he didnt have no secrets so i went back to read the rest and he had made it private only so now it is hidden from me.
I guess what I am asking is if he didn't think this was wrong why did he hide it when i found out? He still denies everything and now i got no proof because i cant see it anymore!!! i have been crying about this and i feel betrayed like he has a secret life on facebook or something! should i stay with him if he isn't going to be honest and still hides things?
Sorry if this is too long! (link)
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It sounds like he obviously knew it was wrong. I don't know what was on it exactly, but how do you think he benefitted by putting that on facebook? Did it make him look cool in front of his friends or something?
Sounds to me like he is just immature. I would confront him if you are sure it was him that made it and not just one of his dumb friends. You don't need proof if you saw it and know for sure. If you confront him to his face, and specifically say you saw the group and it hurt your feelings etc. and he still denies it, then you need to reconsider your relationship. If he lies about something like that, what other bigger things could he be lying about? it's really not worth wasting your time with someone like that
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So im not a virgin im 16 gonna be 17 on the 20th of this month, i have a friend with benifits and we do all types of thing, but this is more just a random question but my friend nicole shes 17 and a virgin, she said that fingering is considered sex because it a part of his body inside mine, i understand what she means but i dont think that is considered to be sex i say if he puts his (cough cough) inside my (cough cough) then thats sex you cant get pregnant by fingering ..well you can but its very rare. So im just wondering is that really true that finering is considered to be sex? (link)
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A. the person below me is wrong, sperm does not die when it hits the air. It can actually survive several hours. And as you said it is rare, but if there were sperm on his finger there is a tiny chance of pregnancy.
B. No, fingering is not considered sex. However, some people consider losing their virginity to be more like losing their innocence rather than a penis entering a vagina. So from their perspective, fingering/touching of genitals is very sexual and intimate, so they wouldn't consider you a virgin just because of that. It really just depends on your beliefs.
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My partner and I have been sexually active and I'm on birth control. However, as a back-up plan I generally like to use condoms. We've both been tested for STI's and everything (I just believe in never being too safe.)
The issue is, my partner says sex is "dull" with a condom on (we've tried numerous brands) and that he really prefers sex without a condom, because he can actually "feel everything".
This has made me insecure, and I guess I'm wondering if this is normal of him to feel that way. I've heard a lot of guys complain about condoms decreasing the pleasure of having sex - is there any truth to this?
I just feel inadequate and want to please him.
(link)
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yes there is a difference, for both parties involved. However, you are the woman so you have more "at risk" if you will. You're the one who would have to carry a child for 9 months and then care for the child if he left. Therefore you get to make the decisions when it comes to contraception. Whatever makes you feel most comfortable is what you should do. You are still pleasing him because you're still having sex with him! If he does not feel pleased, then just take away the sex.
Now I will tell you that when taken correctly, the pill is 99% effective. But if you ever miss a pill or forget to take it at the same time (even if just by a few hours) it isn't as effective and you have to use alternative methods. So if you were sure that you had taken your pill perfectly for the past month, then the chances of becoming pregnant are very slim.
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16/f : sorry its so long. i need help!
so over a week ago my boyfriend of 8 months broke up with me. it was random because nothing was that wrong that week. normally things use to get really ugly because i use to get frustrate because we couldnt see each other during the week and i took it out on him.
once he broke up with me he texted me right after saying it was a break for now and i believed it because he had nationals this weekend and this is something he needs to focus on cause its do or die for getting in to college. but the next day after he broke up with me i texted him bugging him by what he had meant by the break and he said that we were done but then the next day he said we werent then again the next day he said we were done again. i was confused but i know i pushed an answer out of him and i think he just wanted me to shut up but im not sure? does he really mean its over or was he just trying to get rid of me so he could focus for this weekend?
the only reason he gave me for the breakup was that his feelings faded but then the last text he sent me was im just busy and i got that. it just made it seem like things were still open and he just needed time away.
im not sure if im just making this up in my head or if we could still get back together. his regionals were this weekend and i havent talked to him in five days because everyone said i should keep away which i have. but his birthday is on thursday and im gonna say happy birthday but is that all i should say? ive been thinking myself about things and i figured some stuff out and i would like to tell him but i dont know if it would be too much or not. (link)
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I think whether he wants you or not today doesn't matter. As difficult as it is, you should move on. A. You don't ever want to be with a guy who wants you one day and doesn't the next. There is no trust in that relationship, and certainly a lack of care and commitment. B. You should NEVER have to wait around for a guy, no matter who the guy is. There are other guys out there you should be scoping out. If you wait on this guy and put your own life on hold, it's like saying that his life is more important.
If I were you, I would text him and tell him that. Tell him that you don't know whether he wants to be with you or not, but that frankly you don't care. You're moving on. etc. After 8 months, I know that will be really difficult. But honestly, it is the most healthy thing you can do for yourself right now. You deserve better than this loser.
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Well there's is this girl, I really love so much & adore with all my heart and care bout' so dearly. She lost her grandma, someone who was so so special to her like a mother. Now she's suffering and crying due to her loss & as a guy I feel worthless and ashamed that I don't know waht to do to help her. Waht shud I do ? :\ I don't like seeing her like this. Any advice I can give her ? (link)
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When a girl is sad, 9 times out of 10 she doesn't want advice to fix it or really any talking. The best thing to say would just be something like "She's in a better place". Or if her grandma was sick and suffering, you could say something about her not being in pain anymore. But other than that, just be there for her. If she is sitting with you crying, don't say anything, just hold her. Stroke her back, touch her lovingly etc. Don't talk. If she wants to talk then listen, but you don't necessarily have to say much. Just being there and listening really makes us feel better.
In the end, it's her issue and she has to deal with it on her own time. There is nothing you can say or do that will make her feel better, because bottom line is that it won't bring back her grandmother. Just ride it out with her and be there for her. It will mean a lot to her.
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17/F senior.
Okay so I'm a little worried bout the age diference between me and this guy I like who I'm going with to prom too. Here's the thing: he's a freshman and I'm a senior. We have the same birthday week so when he finally turns 15 I'll be 18. In other words right now he is 14 while I'm 17. Although he is extremely mature for his age like already has a job ad everything. He definately does not act like a freshman. I'm bout to graduate and he's only gonne be a sophmore. So if we dated this summer I would be a freshman in college dating a sophmore in high school. Another thing is if we date I know it will be endless crap from my guy friends for dating such a young guy even if it's only 2 years because the whole college to high school thing makes it sound bad. Basically I'm wondering your oppinions on this. Is he too young? Or should I ignore what everyone will say and go for it anyways? Thanks!! (link)
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Well, a 3 year age difference seems pretty big when you're young. But honestly, I don't see anything wrong with having a little summer fling with him before college. As for when you get to college, you probably won't want a boyfriend back home holding you back. Especially depending on how far away from home youll go to college, it would be difficult to do, no matter the age difference. Most of my friends who were dating people younger than them have broken up already (I'm a freshman in college now). Your priorities change when you get to college. You aren't going to want to constantly make trips home. Plus you'll be meeting all kinds of new people, including new boys! College boys!
So I would say unless you are like...absolutely in love with this guy, don't start anything serious. I would go for something casual.
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I completely take responsibility, as it’s my own fault, no one else’s.
I am with a guy, but he treats me crap.
I mean really, like total crap.
I’ve finally found the courage to break up with him, until I remembered that, earlier in the relationship, I let him take some….embarrassing photos of me.
I’m now kicking myself for being so naive in trusting him, and I can’t break up with him, in case he holds these photos against me.
I know this was stupid, so spare the lecture, I’ve certainly learned my lesson.
What do I do? (link)
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If there is any way to get the photos and delete them/throw them away do that. If theyre on his computer, maybe go to his house and tell his parents you want to surprise him and then delete them. or if theyre on his phone wait for him to leave it somewhere and then delete them.
if this isnt an option, the next best thing would be to get him to break up with you. whatever annoys him, do it. be mean or ignore him or whatever it takes. ask him to see chick flicks and buy you stuff and buy him a love fern! ever seen how to lose a guy in 10 days? haha :]
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So im in a long distance relationship.
my boyfriend goes to school about 350 miles away.
now, you know how the smallest things matter in a long distance relationship?
when we video chat, he actually ignores me. hes a car fanatic, so hes on his stupid car websites seaching stuff for his stupid car. watching youtube videos of his car, he talks to his roommate (who is in the room 24/7) about cars.
i mean come on.... seriously? me being ignored caused me to get so heated... so i havent videochatted him in 2 weeks. i refuse.
he never puts me on his facebook status. we've been going out for a year and a half now... and he has only put me on 8 times. no joke. ive put him on EVERY single DAY i put up that i love him, i put up that he means the world to me, i put up when im wiht him..... ugh
i know facebook isnt the world, but you nkow how the smallest things mean so much to you?
my friend is in a relationship with a guy who goes to school in the same area and him and my boyfriend are friends.
my friends boyfriend make his status "so lucky with have her" and cute stuff like that.
when my friend and her boyfriend videochat, he calls her beautiful, he tells her shes his world and all that cute stuff.
her and her boyfriend have tons of pictures together. prob about 100+. me and ryan have about 15....
oh and her and her boyfriend have been going out for 8 months.
10 less months then ryan and i
but... i HAVE talked to him about it. but he continues to ignore me on videochat, and continues to not do anything to "publicize" our relationship. im not asking for much... im asking for some attention and for something to make me smile.... :/
what should i do now? ugh i dont know what to do! (link)
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Well, for starters, all guys are different, and they don't all like PDA. I consider making your facebook status a gushy "i love her soo much" kinda thing a public display of affection, and maybe that's just not his thing? You can't compare your relationship with your friends, maybe your friend's guy just likes that kind of PDA. I wouldn't take the lack of facebook pics/statuses personally, I'm sure no matter who he is with, he doesn't do that sort of thing.
as for the video chat thing, ignoring you is pretty rude and you shouldn't have to put up with that. If you really don't want to talk to him over videochat, talk to him either via text or on the phone. Calmly explain that it hurts your feelings when he does that because that's the main time you get to see/talk to him because he lives so far away. Don't make it sound like you're attacking him or it will just push him further away. If he doesn't even care about how the way he's acting is making you feel, and continues to treat you like this, maybe you should take time to reevaluate the relationship. You deserve to be treated well.
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I need some tips from the girls. Are there any special techniques that you use when you're making out with a guy? ILL RATE (link)
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my boyfriend loves it when i run my fingers through his hair or lightly touch his cheek. i also like to kinda tug on his shirt, either the collar to like pull him closer or like on the back of his shirt.
i love to suck/lightly nibble on his bottom lip. sometimes i alternate with the top lip. also, he always seems to like it if i was just eating something really cold like ice cream, or if i have ice in my mouth and my mouth is cold.
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19/female.
So i'm not going to lie, i always get attention around guys, i'm use to it and love it. I'm an outgoing girl, i just love to have fun and don't care what people think about me. My best friend, she is okay looking, but every guy always tells me how i'm hotter than her and nobody really thinks she is pretty. I do feel bad for her, but obviously i don't tell her they say that. Well anyways, there was this cute guy that she was interested in and i didn't think anything was going to happen with it because she is a really shy girl, she's never kissed a guy before or anything and never had a boyfriend and this guy is the exact opposite. Well we ended up hanging out with him last night and he was giving her all the attention and texting her all night. I get it, me and my cousin were trying to hook them up. I was jealous though, that was the FIRST time ever that i wasn't getting the attention and i hated it. I was soooo bored. And when my friend texts him, she always asks me what to say so its basically like me talking to him? DUMB. But it's like my friend is rubbing it in my face that he thinks she is cute because she is always like "OMG he said this, he said i was cute .. blaaa." Now i'm not trying to sound selfish, like a bad friend or anything but i'm not use to this. And i don't do that to her at all, i don't say "haha yeah all guys think i'm hot" obviously i'm not like that to her that would be just annoying. But what am i suppose to do? I'm getting pretty annoyed of this situation, she is always talking about him and now we're all hanging out again tonight .. great. I know i sound like a self centered person but i'm just use to getting so much attention because i'm an outgoing girl and i guess guys think i'm hot, that when a guy doesn't pay attention to me and pays attention to my friend .. i get jealous. I really do want to be happy for her, but i don't know how without being annoyed. (link)
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the truth is, your friend is probably insecure because she doesn't normally get this kind of attention from guys. and her repeating it to you might seem like her rubbing it in your face, but she is just relishing in her moment because she obviously doesn't get a lot of them. she wants to feel like it's real.
just try to be happy for her, or at least act like you are. if you start to get annoyed, remind yourself of all the guys that have and still do like you. maybe even text some of them whenever she is talking to her guy.
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By the end of this week I will be in a long distance relationship, thanks to college.
I need some ideas for fun things to do over the phone, or to send each other. I'm hoping if we keep ourselves occupied with games or fun stuff then we won't keep thinking about how we can't be with each other.
Any ideas? (link)
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Definitely getting a webcam will be nice. And of course it they are close enough, visit if you can. You can watch the same movie at the same time and stay on the phone with them the whole time, that's always cute. Also, dont underestimate the oldfashioned snail mail. Writing a sweet letter by hand can mean a lot. You can add your own touch with maybe a spray of your perfume on the letter? Maybe something small that will remind him of you? Like a movie ticket stub you kept..or a picture of yall or something.
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I swear it was love at first sight, because ever since the first day I met jason he's the only guy I ever thought about. The problem is we're in a non dating relationship and its his choice! One day I went to see him and ran into a few of his freinds who said he was with this really hot girl and I never said anything to him about it because we're not official. But he knows I care about him more than anything in the world but he will not cave he is not going to have a real relationship with me now and maybe ever. I feel like the girl he can fall back on but he says its not like that. He says that he cares about me and im the only girl he does anything with but he's not ready to commit. Now there is this other guy chris he is my ex and we just started talking again like a month ago, we broke up about 8 months ago because he was going through some hard times and he wanted to deal with them on his own and we never got to spend time together. He told me the first day we started talking again that he missed me so much and when I told him that I was dedicated to being with jason he said he would wait until I realized we were meant for eachother. and he is doing exactly that! chris calls me every day and we talk on the phone for hours, he drops his plans for me every time I want to see him, and he tells me every single time we talk that he loves me. This is so hard I love jason and he's the one I really want but I dont think I will ever be abled to have him. Then there is chris my first real love and best friend who does everything for me and makes me feel so special, but sometimes when were together I cant help but think he's not right cause he's not jason. What should I do?
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Have you seen the movie/read the book "He's just not that into you"?
well if you have, id say the guy jason is like the guys in that movie/book. i know when you really care about someone, its hard to just take the advice to dump them and go with the good guy, but its definitely whats best. and its soo much easier for me to say that from the outside looking in. so ultimately, the decision is up to you because i know when you love someone its so easy to look past all the flaws. I think you should just follow your gut..who makes you feel like you can just be you no matter what?
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I recently stoped seriosly talking to a guy , we were very close to going out but diffrences mades us decide that it would be better for us to be friends , i still have strong feelings for him . Should i try to contuine to be his friend or is it not helping me get over him ? I do care for him alot but is it possible to be " just friends ". (link)
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in my experience, most of the time its pretty difficult to be just friends. either one person isnt mature about it and would rather ignore them or when you do try to talk to them after having the feelings, it starts to feel awkward and forced. if it does feel like there is a pink elephant in the room, its probably best that you give each other some space and its always a lot easier to get over someone that way. you can always try it out again later when youre totally over each other, but at first i would try some distance. but that doesnt mean you should be rude, you know? still give a friendly smile when passing by and that stuff.
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Hey!
So I think it's an age old question, but I could always use more opinions preferably from women.
I'm a fit 21 year old in College, but I'm tired of the whole "college" dating scene so I'd like to meet a mature type of women. I'm not looking just to pick up, I'd like a relationship.
Where's a good place you'd recommend other than coffee shops to meet women??
-Thanks a bunch! (link)
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lets see...at a concert. at the mall. at a book store.
go somewhere that you have an interest in also that way you instantly have something in common.
also, if you just happen to catch a girl's glance, and maybe she checks you out and smiles, dont be afraid to approach her and ask for her number. at the very least, she will be flattered.
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15/f
I like this guy in my class and he liked me over the summer but i'm not sure if he does now. Anyways, my friend kaysy always talks to him and he talks to her a lot but he talks to a lot of girls because he has a lot of friends that are girls. She on the other hand always talks to him and says " Me and him are such good friends, i just love him to death, he is just like a bro to me. " I know she would never do anything like go out with him or anything because she is my really good friend and she even says we would be cute together, etc. But it seems like she is flirting a lot. Idk if it is just her personality like that or not but i can't confront her about it because when i did she said "oh, i'm not flirting, i know he's all yours." And, he talks to a lot of girls so i don't know if he likes me or not. My friend megan said he flirts with me sometimes but i am really confused about it. Today he gave me a hug for the first time and i was really excited but he hugs a lot of girls. How do i find out if he likes me without being to obvious because i have to see him every day and i don't want to be embarrased around him all the time if he says no or something. Also, i am kinda shy so i don't want to do anything that is to outgoing. Thanks! (link)
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okay. this sounds like something ive been through so let me give you my two cents.
first of all, about the guy. for some reason that i still have yet to figure out, guys will like you over the summer, but once school starts everything changes. not all guys are like this, but a lot are. just keep flirting with him and stuff. if youre shy, you can flirt through texts or on facebook/aim that way you dont have to be too forward in person. but you dont have to exclusively flirt with him, play the field. if he hugs a lot of girls, feel free to hug all the guys you want.
now..as for the girl. some girls really claim that they arent flirting because it really is basically all they know. these kinds of girls are...somewhat insecure. I'm not sure how close you and this friend of yours are, but it is definitely possible that she feels like she has something to prove to you. Maybe she wouldnt go out with him if he liked her, but i think she would get a sense of superiority if he liked her instead of you..which could be what shes after. Does she ever do things that make you think shes trying to prove that guys like her/give her attention? just watch your back when it comes to this friend. a true friend wouldnt flirt with the guy you like.
Finally, there isnt a real way to find out if he likes you. Just when you talk to him you have to figure out how hes feeling. Like does he say/do certain things to you that he doesnt other girls? Its really up to you. But dont go the second grade route: getting your friends to ask his friends if he likes you. because that will get back to him..and things could get awkward.
but its up to you.
Hope Ive helped a little :]
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I'm a female and I'm 17. I'll just get straight to the point. I like this guy...a lot. More than I have before. The thing is, I really want to tell him that I have feelings for him and it seems like he may feel the same way but I'm still afraid of that famous phrase "I only like you as my friend" or something to that extent. The other part of me is just telling me that I should just forget about him and move on or whatever. What do you think? Tell him? (link)
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unless yall are already really close friends, and this would mess up that friendship, i would tell him. otherwise you will always wonder, which is way worse than finding out that he doesnt like you like that. at the very least, he will be flattered.
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15/m
ive been trough many relationships, im a nice guy siriously, well every girl ive gone out with well they all ended up being bitches or something like that and they all broke up with me for dumb reasons like we wern't french kissing by our third day of going out and stuff like that, but this year i met this girl i thought she was different she told me she liked me but that she couldnt have a boyfreind till shes 16 so i told her i would wait, a few weeks later she told me she rather be freinds i told her it was alright but the other day i found out she has a boyfreind already, my point is, it there any girls out there who arent like that who are nice, pretty smart, and have a great personality? or why is it so hard to find someone like that? (link)
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im 16/f and i know enough girls like that to understand where you're coming from. But believe me, there are some genuinely nice girls out there, you just have to wait for the right one to come along. It might seem like they are all that way, but think about the one you just told us the story about. Maybe she told you she couldnt date until she was 16 because she didnt want to date you, but didnt want to hurt your feelings, and didnt think youd be willing to wait. I know the truth is always better than lying like that, but maybe she was only trying to spare your feelings at the time? I'm sorry that girls suck sometimes. But hey, boys suck sometimes too. Everything happens for a reason, stay positive :]
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So I have an amazing boyfriend. I seriously think that I am in love with him. And this new kid came into my class and he is cute and funny and extremely nice. I am an all around flirty person, and I can't help but flirt with him naturally. We talked a lot today and I can't help but like him as more than a friend. I don't know whats wrong with me, I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND!! I really want to stop liking the new kid because things between my boyfriend are great. What can I do. I feel like such a bad person for liking someone besides my boyfriend.
HELP PLEASE.
Love,
CONFUZZLED :/ (link)
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Lots of people often think they fall for someone else while still with someone. The key is not to let it really get to you. After you get over the initial infatuation, you realize thats all that it was, an infatuation. This new guy is new, and exciting while your boyfriend is more stable and the usual. You're not a bad person because you can't control how you feel. You can however control how much you talk to/flirt with this new guy. Have any other friends in the class? Try focusing more on them. You can include everyone in the conversation, just don't have anymore 1 on 1 time with the guy, and try not to think about him. If you find yourself thinking about him, just think about what you love about your boyfriend instead. Hope I helped a little :]
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heyy!
ok, long story short, i want to break up with my boyfriend. We have had a horrible relationship-since february- and we barly talked to eachother.. I want to move on and become avaliable, so in order to do that, i need to talk to him to break up with him... but im not sure how to even talk to him, let alone break up with him face to face.. I'm kinda shy and so is he, but i really dont want to break up with him on the phone or on AIM because i think that is just rude. I dont think ill be able to call him because he doesnt have a cell phone, and i dont want him to get off the home phone and have to confront his mom- if she is home- so the only time i think i could break up w/ him would be during school, but i dont know when where or how to do it. I've herd from my friend who confirmed with him that HE wanted to break up with me. At first i wanted to just let him do it, but i would rather be the dumper rather than the dumpee.. i hope that made sence =]
Anything will help, and sorry if that didn't make very much sence..
Oh, and im 14/f by the way!
Thanks in advance for everything!! (link)
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hmm. for the when, id do at the end of the day that way its not on his mind for the whole day and mess up his day. maybe even on friday, so he has the weekend to kind of cool down, even if he does wanna break up too, ya know? Where? doesnt really matter, probably in the hallway, and then you can just both go your seperate ways (emotionally and literally lol) And the how, if he wants it too, you shouldn't have too much explaining to do. Just tell him honestly how youre feeling, and only say you want to be friends if you do.
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Well, I am in high school, and have never had a boyfriend. I feel really weired sometimes because all my friends have had one. It isn't like i never talk to guys, because i have like a million guy friends. I don't see why guys don't like me for a girlfriend. I am not like a total geek im really pretty popular and a cheerleader, and all but, why are all the guys always friends, and none of them interested im me as more than a friend. I don't think im ugly but im starting to wonder. So any advise or things to help me. I just feel like im going to be single for the rest of my life! I really do not want to not be able to go to my homecoming this year. I don't think it is becuse I am fat or anything but I don't know Im 5'4" and about 110 pounds. Sorry this is a little weired! Thanks in advance! (link)
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Okay, first off, youre not fat, and if youre a cheerleader I'm pretty sure that a lot of guys would love to go out with you/go to homecoming with you. Second, you don't need a guy to go to homecoming. you can have fun just going with friends in a big group. Its always fun to just get all dressed up, no matter if theres a boy or not. Last, if you want a guy to ask you to homecoming just act into him. Guys will want to ask a girl who they think will say yes, cause just like the next person they don't like rejection. Compliment him, talk to him, ask questions about himself etc. (without coming off as a stalker/interrogating him lol) just keep it flirty casual.
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