to all the people who gave me advice on the rape thing.thanks..i guess you guys were right cuz uhh i told my mom and she listend to the phone call and we went to the cops and they sent me to a doctor to "check" me out for seamon or somthing and they found some and it matched him so hes going to juvey..its a start...so thank you everyone who gave me advice on it..it gave me the couragee to do it and you know what? after i told the police other reports of it showed up..so THANK YOU SOO MUCH!! (sorry it was long:-D)
Wow! I can't believe everything happened so fast!! That's great news!
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Okay, Ive been in this relationship for almost 5 months and Im very much in love with the man I lost my virginity to. I dont know if it'll last long because hes so hard to be with, partly because hes so close to his friends. Their inseperateable and he doesnt realize it but hes alot nicer alone than with his friends around, also we cant drink together because he gets super irritated and acts like a dick and like he doesnt want me around him so I get emotional because ive been drinking and then i become a mess. I love to party and im the happiest drunk ull ever meet, but for some reason when I drink with my boyfriend he destroys that mood in an instant by doing something to make me upset. Funny thing is, he tells me its because he gets more irriated when he drinks hard stuff, but beers okay with him and he says i act stupid when i drink and that he doesnt like it when i drink cuz i get emotional. Well....probably becuz im drinking with him!!! Dont get me wrong, i love him to death i just dont see how its going to work because for once in my life ive come to realize that maybe love isnt enough anymore. I dont like being with someone i see maybe once or twice a week and its always on him whether we see each other or not. Im always the one to call after school and find out from his sister that he left with his friends. I work, he doesnt. Hes 19. Im 17. He thinks that if we care about each other so much that when he goes to college a couple hours away that we wont grow apart and that we'll see each other on weekends, however i know better. I can wake up to reality and see that if we have trouble seeing each other now, being 15 minutes away, how can it possibly work out when hes 2 hours away? And i know what some of you will say..tell him how you feel...tell him you think he needs to hang out with you more often and not his friends. Thing is I dont want him to think im some controlling girlfriend that wants to pussy whip him. One relationship in his life he always talks about is him and this girl lets say named Whitney. And she had him pussy whipped like no other that he blew off his friends for her. That was 2 years ago and after it ended badly he hadnt had a g/f since...until now. And unfortunately his friends mean soooo much to him that he doesnt know how to balance it out and so hes blowing off me for his friends. I find it unfair. Because he cant use something like that as an excuse and I am not going to pay for some dumb bitch's mistake.
Sorry for basically spilling out my lifes story but theres just some issues I have in this relationship and I just am not secure about what i should do. I hope someone has some great advice to help me
Your boyfriend sound extremely immature and definitely is not ready for committed relationship. It sounds like he's in what I like to call a "dick click". They do everything together, always say "we're doing this" or "we don't want to go there", and my guess is that they all drink a lot too. This doesn't make him a bad person, but it does make him a bad boyfriend. He cares way more about the "dick click" than he does about you and that is evident by the way he spends him time. How a person spends their time is a great indicator of where their priorities are and where their heart lies. He treats you like like leftovers, if he has some time leftover and you make yourself available, you'll do but you're not his first choice. His ex-girlfiend sob story is nothing more than a pathetic excuse, don't buy it for a second. You deserve better, you deserve to spend your time with someone who can't wait to see you, someone who treats you like the special person that you are. Save yourself some wasted time and drama and break up with him now before he has the chance to REALLY hurt you after he leaves for college. I really think you'll be much happier without him. Yea, the initial breakup will hurt because of your history together, but history tends to repeat itself and is the history you've had with him so far something you want repeated?
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So, i've been going through some crap. i'm a freshman, and at the beginning of the year i was in a show where i met a bunch of seniors and juniors and sophomores and other freshman and became friends with them. one of them i immediately had a crush on and his name was david, and he's a senior. he's had a girlfriend for almost a year now, but the girlfriend is a sophomore and she is SO oblivious to what is going on around her and she has no social life and she studies all the time, and she's not a very sexual person at all though her boyfriend is. so by the time the show ended, we were all really good friends. a few weeks later, i started another show with some of them, and david was in it and we grew to be even closer. we used to talk online every night about stuff. keep in mind, now, that he didnt get all that much from his girlfriend. after awhile, things began to get a little out of hand online-i told him that i do masturbate, and that's where it kind of took off. we started to like do it together online, and it wasnt all that bad, but it still was wrong. and we told each other everything and talked about sex all the time and fantasies we have and who we'd like to have sex with. he would compliment me all the time, and tell me i'm beautiful and that he would love to have sex with me someday, but he would never do anything right now because i'm so much younger than him (he's 18, i'm 14). so this went on 2-4 times a week, and it slowly got like more intense and we would say what we were doing as we did it and i dont know what made me do it because i know it was stupid and all but i had a huge crush on him and he made me feel so good about myself. and he used to kid around all the time about sending naked pictures. until one night when he actually did. they got more and more "risky" each picture he sent and by the last one was just like him naked and it was so fun but so wrong! and he asked me to do the same..so i said i would..but i was so afraid because im self conscious and naked pictures are just a bad idea in general. so the next night i did it and sent more teasingly pictures than completely naked ones, and he sent more, and the next night we did it together at the same time and did the whole cyber thing. he also sent a video and asked me to do the same the next night..i was so stressed out every day because i didnt want to take the pictures but at the same time i did and i loved his compliments and i wanted to please him and a video would be just awkward you know? but the night before we did he went to a party, got drunk, and kissed another girl and had to tell his girlfriend and it was this big to do so i told him we need to stop and we did. so then i was like alright we'll still be close and all will be well. yeaaaa right. he didnt talk to me that much at all and he told people he was sick of me and he totally ignored me for a week and during that week i figured out from talking to other people and through whats been going on that he was just using me and he never actually cared about me and was only nice to me and pretended to be my friend so id send the pictures and cyber with him at night. not only did he do this to me, he started to do this with another girl within the past week. and shes 14 too. it sucks and it hurts a lot and he IMed me this morning and said "you are really mad at me huh?" and i just let him have it and i felt so great but he was sweet and said he really does care and really is my friend and all and feels guilty and like..w'ere going to talk later tonight..and i still like him..and i dont know what i should do now! not be friends with him anymore? be aquaintances? be friends? let it all go? be mad or upset? i'm so confused. sorry this is so long, but any help/advice would be greatly appreciated!:)
This guy is disgusting. He totally used you and he will continue to use you as long as you allow him to. He doesn't care about you at all apart from what you can do for him. The fact that he's started doing the same thing with another girl should leave you with NO DOUBT that he is a pervert and will gladly use anyone who is willing to be what he wants them to be, his cyber slut. (I'm not saying you are a slut, but this is how he treated you) Your best course of action is to retain what little dignity you have left and walk away.
Let this be a hard lesson and learn from it, don't repeat your mistake. A guy who really cares about you would not ask you to do the things that he asked you to do. A guy who is trustworthy and has any respect for women would not do the things he has done, especially with a girlfriend. He doesn't care about her either, so don't feel alone, he only cares about himself. You deserve better, in the future, remember that you teach others how to treat you. How do you want to be treated? Accept nothing less!
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My name is Jay im actually a coulmnist on this website but would like advice from someone else for a change.
The thing is i moved to Spain 4 years ago and i fell in love for the first time and the girl is great. But now i have moved back to my home country and she has moved to another country and the only thing i have is her e-mail adress. But since she didnt even notice me when we were in the same place how is she supposed to talk to me on MSN or anything. I have no clue what to do, i cant get over her.
What should i do? Im 14 by the way.
Here's the problem, you fell in love but she didn't. Even if she were your next-door neighbor, things wouldn't be any different if she doesn't feel the same way about you. Since she does live in another country, you don't have the opportunity to find out whether or not she would change her mind, so try to let her go. I know it sounds hard, but you can stop yourself from thinking about her. Every time you start to go into a girl from spain daydream, tell yourself (silently) that it's not going to happen and there is someone else for you. If you remain hung up on Spain girl, it's going to be hard to fall for or meet anyone else. The worst thing to do is to allow yourself to dwell on what if's, stop dwelling and you'll start to feel better.
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i'm going back out with my boyfriend after he cheated on me. but i know he won't do it again! a lot of people tell me that i'm stupid.... "once a cheater always a cheater!" but i love him so much and know he won't do it again! WHAT DO I DO?!
Enjoy him while you can because it won't last. There's a reason that we date people before we marry them, and the great part about dating, unlike marriage is that you don't need to feel obligated to take them back. Dating is for weeding out the cheaters, liars, and jerks, so I suggest you move along and leave him for someone else to deal with.
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Okay. This is going to be a longer entry but i'd really love the advice, i need some help on this one. So there's a guy at my school. this is going to sound incredibly typical, but i really do like him a lot. I have for a long time, i think its been about 5-6 years. We were together on and off for the majority of last year, but we had some conflicts and he said he didnt want a romantic relationship over the summer, but maybe once school started up again. This school year is almost over, and he's basically told me and some of my friends he liked me. We flirt with each other a lot, but every once in a while we just kind of stop talking, like for a week or so. I dont really know why, except that he's kind of shy when it comes to me. But with other people he's totally out there, and doesnt hold back at all. Recently, another girl has started to like him too. She's apparently really obsessed, and i do mean obsessed. She writes poems about him and basically freaks out everytime she hears his name. she follows him around and he's all she ever talks about. He knows about all of it, and has no interest in her. i feel bad for her, but at the same time i'm kind of annoyed. she found out he liked me and watches me all the time. her friends question me, him, his friends, my friends, and other people about our feelings for eachother all the time. One of this girls friends asked him if he liked me and he said if he liked me he'd ask me out. I was disappointed at first but just earlier that week we'd been flirting like crazy and his friends were telling everybody about how he talks about me so much and how much he likes me. I'd love to talk to him about it but the truth is i'm totally shy. I really need some advice, either on what i could do to get over my fears or what some of that stuff means. For those of you who read this far, thank you so much. Like i said i really need some help. ♥
Try to forget all the stuff about the psycho girl because she's not relevant to your problem. The facts are pretty simple,
HE broke up with YOU.
You guys flirt all the time, so it's not like you're acting uniterested.
He said "if i liked her i'd ask her out".
He managed to ask you out the first time.
He hasn't asked you out.
For the most part, unless you are acting like you are not interested, ie: don't respond to flirting, a guy who is interested will ask you out all by himself without any coaching. If he can't summon up the strength to do that, he's just not that into you.
I promise there is someone else who will care for you enough to put himself out there and take a chance, this guy just isn't it.
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i broke up with my boyfriend and said that i just wanted to be friends then he was saying that he loved me and stuff like that. i only feel like i still like him when he talks about other girls and stuff. well like yesterday he started going out with my best friend and she knew i still liked him. on his away messages he always puts i love sarah turner.
he never put i love paityn smith on his away message and we went out for almost 3 months and they have been going out for one day! we arent friends anymore because of this. and i really want to keep it that way.i dont know what to do , and im miserable now without him. do you think its just jealousy or do i really love him?
im in the 6th grade and hes in 7th i know this probably sounds stupid, but he is the only boy ive ever loved.
thank you for reading this
paityn
I promise you that your ex does not love your best friend. He is behaving like a jerk and is only trying to make you jealous. I'm willing to bet that he is using your friend for that reason and it doesn't say much for his character. It's totally normal to feel jealous when someone that you used to be with is involved with/talks about another girl. It doesn't mean that you love him. Whenever someone else gets something/someone that used to be ours, it's normal to feel a twinge of jealousy and doubt. That's just basic human nature, and those feeling will pass with some time. It's too bad that you and you best friend aren't friends anymore because of this guy. However, she doesn't sound like a very good friend anyway so I say it's her loss.
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My boyfriend is EXTREMELY overprotective. I talk to this other boy like on the computer and on the phone because we're just wicked good friends. We've never really met in person, but I'm thinking this kid likes me. He like always brings up my bf in negative ways and tells me to dump him and that he'd never do anything bad to me. Now my boyfriend wants to kill him even though he doesn't know him and my friend wants to kill my bf even though he doesn't know him. No matter what I say to my bf about not touching him or not worrying about it he just goes on and talks about beating up the kid or killing him and stuff. Now I'm finally going to meet this kid and we're sleeping over my friends house together. My bf is completely paranoid and says "IF THAT KID LAYS ONE FINGER ON YOU HE'S DONE ILL F***ING KILLTHAT KID." can you just please tell me what to do? it's getting way out of hand!!
What are you thinking?????????? You've never met this guy before and you're going to spend the night at your friend's house together? First of all, until you've met someone in person, you don't really know them, and it's unwise to have your first meeting be a sleepover. Second, I would be worried if your boyfriend wasn't angry. He should be angry and not just with internet boy but with you as well. If you care about your relationship with your boyfriend, stop talking to the internet boy. If you want to be a drama queen, keep doing what you're doing.
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Ok, to sum it up. I like this guy, and my friends all think he likes me, even though they don't know i like him, and then my friend told me she likes the guy i have a crush on. and even though we're not really good friends, she asked me if i liked him and i said no, so know i feel like if she finds out i do like him she'll think i just decided it after she said she liked him. to complicate things even more, i still like a guy from camp who i haven't talked to since summer. i'm not sure what to do.. i mean alot of my friends think he likes me, and i guess i sorta see it, but i'm not sure.
thanks
Tell your friend (in private) that you do like the guy that she likes and explain why you said you didn't tell her yes when she asked. This will go over a lot better if she hears it from you rather than from someone else. Just be honest, she may not like the truth but I think you'll like yourself more if you straight forward. All you can do is tell it like it is and if she thinks you just like him because she does, there's nothing you can do about it. Either way, she's probably going to figure it out, and if it does work out for you and this guy you don't want to feel guilty about lying to your friend.
As far as the camp boy goes....if you and the camp boy were keeping in touch that would be different, but since he hasn't contacted you since SUMMER, I don't think anything is going to happen.
Besides, it sounds like there's a very real possibility that you and the other guy mutually like each other, and if that's the case, camp boy is about to become a nice but distant camp memory.
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Me and my boyfriend have been together for alomost a year & a half. We are (were) supposed to get married next month. Last night we were talking and he told me something that he had been holding in since last summer that he wanted to get off his chest. I was pregnant last summer and miscarried, he told me he doesnt believe I was ever pregnant. This has hurt me so much, we are not little kids, in fact I am older than him (21 & 23) I would not make up such a horrible story, I was crushed when it happened and still cry at night sometimes when I think about it. He says he cant marry me till he has proof. Getting "proof" isnt a problem, but i feel now as though I cant marry him becuase he doesnt trust me and Ive always been told if you dont have trrust you dont have nothin. I Love him more than I could ever say and the thought of losing him upsets me to no end, but at that same time i feel so betrayed by him like im some kind of monster that would make up a story like that. What should I do? please help Ill rate!!
You're right, without trust you have nothing to base a marriage on. It would be one thing if he had expressed his doubt and asked you whether or not you lied in the past and believed your answer when you you told him you didn't lie. It's a completely different issue when he doesn't believe you are being honest with him now and demands proof. If you give him his proof, he doesn't have to trust you because you've provided evidence. He might claim that once he sees you aren't lying he will trust you but I don't think he really will. That's like asking him to submit to a lie detector test and then telling him that if he passes, you will trust him. Trust isn't something that can be gained through evidence and proof, it's gained by really knowing someone well enough to know their heart and their character. He may have some trust issues and this may just be who he is. I don't think this will be the last time he questions your honesty and you deserve to be with someone who believes in you as much as you believe in them. He probably does love you but he really just may not be capable of complete trust and you need to decide if that's something you want to live with for the rest of your life.
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My bf is best friends with a guy that is just plain creepy. For one thing, he is 38 years old and still lives with his mother. He is also a pedophile, and only goes for very young girls. My bf has even told me that he's a pedophile, so I'm not making it up.
The thing that bothers me is that I've caught his friend staring at me inappropriatly at parties, and he's even winked at me. I had to give his friend a ride home once (because the loser doesnt have a car ) and he told me he liked me for a long time and told me to kiss him. I told him no, and after I dropped him off I told my bf what happened. My bf just laughed and didnt seem to take it seriously. I also heard a story that his friend used to stalk a waitress.
I really don't understand why my bf is still friends with this creep. Sometimes I feel that he'd rather be friends with him than me.
Should I give my bf an ultimateum and say it's either his creepy friend or me? Or would that be too controlling?
The kind of company a person keeps speaks VOLUMES about their own character and values. The fact that your boyfriend is not just friends but best friends with this creep is not a good sign. In fact, I think it's a massive and waving red flag that you should not ignore. It would be one thing if you boyfriend didn't know what a sicko this guy is, but he does know and it's okay with him even when it concerns his girlfriend. Any guy who allows any of his friends to behave in the way you described with his girlfriend should be kicked to the curb pronto.
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ok there is this guy that i used to like alot and we were talking for a long time and it seemed like we were dating but he never asked me out then he just stopped talking to me. and now its been about 4 months, and he just broke up with his girlfriend, sence he has even said one word to me and today everytime he saw me he came talk to me and even moved from the other side the class and came sit by me. i was wondering is maybe starting to like me or is he just trying to be friends??
I wouldn't give too much thought to what he is trying to do because I don't think he is someone who is deserving of your friendship or anything else. His past behaviour is an excellent indicator of his future behavior as well as his character and I think he is a rat. He blows you off, acts like you don't exist, and expects everything to be cool now just because he decides he feels like giving you the time of day? I don't think so. You teach people how to treat you by how you allow them to treat you, don't let this guy treat you like some forgoten toy that he plays with when his new one breaks. You deserve better in a friend and in a boyfriend.
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I am not the type of girl to just have any kind of boyfriend. He has to be my "boyfriend material". There is this guy who everytime I talk to him I get this smile that WON'T go away. Everytime I think about him I get so happy. But the thing is he is known to cheat on girls. So I know if I went with him there is a high chance of him cheating on me. And I don't want that. Oh yeah he likes me to (he says that to me, his friends, & my friends like everyday) So I guess I want to know why am I having feelings for someone that I know can hurt me and how can I stop or is it just one of those things you can't help?
Bad boys have a certain allure don't they? They tend to be attractive, charming, and complete jerks all in one pretty package. I think a major reason you are so attracted to him is that you feel special that he likes you too. Maybe you like to imagine that you will be able to change his ways and that would make you feel pretty good about yourself. You're absolutely right to think he wil cheat on you. My suggestion is to distance yourself so you won't be tempted to allow him the chance to make you another name on his list of girls he screwed over.
If you want to stop liking him, stop allowing yourself to think about him. When you start to think about him, tell yourself that he is a cheating player who isn't worthy of your affections and keep telling yourself that over and over until it sticks.
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ok.. so my boyfriend looks at porn. ive never had a problem with porn with any other guy ive been with, but lately its been getting to me. I just cant bare the thought of my boyfriend fantasizing about other women. even worse; their bodies are perfect && mine are far from it and i just dont want him comparing me to them. So my question is:
-Is it ok for me to feel this way?
-Is looking at porn considered cheating to some people?
-Should i say something to my boyfriend
-If so what?
(hes very stubborn)
It's sad that women even have to wonder whether or not it's okay to be bothered by porn. Just because people watch it and it's legal, doesn't make it right. You should be glad that it bothers you, it should!
My advice to you is this, tell your boyfriend how it makes you feel but fully expect that he will try to justify it and say that it doesn't mean anything. I would try to avoid this sort of argument that centers around why it is or isn't okay, because that's not even the point. The bottom line is that he is doing something that is hurtful to you and it needs to stop.
He'll probably try to pin it on you and say it's not his fault you're insecure. DON"T BUY IT! This isn't about you and don't let him make it about you, it's about him having sexual fantasies about other women while he is supposed to be committed to you. Everyone probably has fantasies about someone else at some point and that is human nature, but it's not something he should conciously CHOOSE to do over and over which is exactly what he does when he watches/purchases porn. It's not like he's just having a daydream once in awhile and goes with it, he intends to do this on a regular basis and the worst part is that he's not even ashamed of his behavior and he should be.
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well first off let me say that im 16f going on 17 and he just turned 18. Ok well lets see, theres this guy that i met through a friend. Well my best friend actually and she's his bestfriend to. She kinda put us on the phone together and he kinda told her that he wanted to talk to me or whateva. So ok we started talking and i grew to really like him and i guess he really likes me too. Last weekend we went out to the movies and my friend invited the guy im supposed to be talking to and her boyfriend which also happens to be the guy im talking to's best friend. Everything was going fine or whatever and me and this guy got to be real cool and like i said i really started to like him like seriously. Then the next day i was talking to my best friend and she told me that he told her that he didn't really think that we would hit it off as well as we did and he is starting to really like me but there is this other girl that is trying to talk to him at his school(we don't go to the same one)and i guess he kinda likes her too cause he told my friend that he doesn't know what he's going to do. You know whether he is going to talk to me or her. Now like i said i really do like him and all but he lives kinda far and i don't know how often i would be able to see him, and being that the other girl goes to his school he would be able to see her more. But he does have a car and if he really wanted to he could just come and see me when ever he wanted. I don't know. Well i guess my overall question is do i still try to talk to him and eventually make him choose or do just be like i don't want to cause any drama or stress in making him choose and tell him to talk to the other girl.
Relax! Let things take their natural course and see what happens. Since he's not your boyfriend and you're not his girlfriend, you're both free to talk to whomever you choose. If you enjoy his company and he continues to call you, ask you to hang out etc, then keep on getting to know him. Unless you two get serious ie: he asks you to be his girlfriend, then there's no need to ask him to choose between you and this other girl. If you start asking him those sorts of questions now it will come off as needy and that is never an attractive quality. As a general rule, the more a person clings, the faster the other one runs away. If you feel like he's pulling away, give him space and see what happens. But most importantly,relax, if it's meant to be everything will work out.
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so me and cody have been dating for like 20 days. and me and him are as close to perfect (probably not the best word to get my point across) as a couple can get, until it comes to hangin out. like at school hell talk to me and well hold hands and he doesnt care what his friends think. but we had vacation and we made plans 3 times to hang out, HE made them, HE broke them ..
friday he said to call when i woke up, so i did and his mom said shed have him call me. well 6 hours later .. he hadn't called .. so i called and she hung up on me .. cody NEVER called to apolgize or say he couldn't. now hes in maine till vacations over. and his fones off ..
i left him a voicemail sayin it kind of hurt my feelings (he ignored my call, like it rang and he pressed ignore, so i know he had his fone, so i know he got he voicemail) and to call me. its 2 days later and he hasn't called. but he'll call me sunday before school and apologize and have an excuse .. he always does .. and i always believe him ..
everyone says dump him .. but i cant. i love him .. i just dont know what to do without messing it up and gettin him pissed off .. HELP?!
One of two things are going to happen:
You break up with Cody because you recognize that Cody is a wimp. He is a wimp because he is trying to get you to dump him because he doesn't want to..too much effort on his part.
OR, Cody dumps you. It's your call, but I think the signs are pretty clear that he is not in love with you. Most importantly, I hope you believe that you deserve better than Cody!!!
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