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Cybering..
So, i've been going through some crap. i'm a freshman, and at the beginning of the year i was in a show where i met a bunch of seniors and juniors and sophomores and other freshman and became friends with them. one of them i immediately had a crush on and his name was david, and he's a senior. he's had a girlfriend for almost a year now, but the girlfriend is a sophomore and she is SO oblivious to what is going on around her and she has no social life and she studies all the time, and she's not a very sexual person at all though her boyfriend is. so by the time the show ended, we were all really good friends. a few weeks later, i started another show with some of them, and david was in it and we grew to be even closer. we used to talk online every night about stuff. keep in mind, now, that he didnt get all that much from his girlfriend. after awhile, things began to get a little out of hand online-i told him that i do masturbate, and that's where it kind of took off. we started to like do it together online, and it wasnt all that bad, but it still was wrong. and we told each other everything and talked about sex all the time and fantasies we have and who we'd like to have sex with. he would compliment me all the time, and tell me i'm beautiful and that he would love to have sex with me someday, but he would never do anything right now because i'm so much younger than him (he's 18, i'm 14). so this went on 2-4 times a week, and it slowly got like more intense and we would say what we were doing as we did it and i dont know what made me do it because i know it was stupid and all but i had a huge crush on him and he made me feel so good about myself. and he used to kid around all the time about sending naked pictures. until one night when he actually did. they got more and more "risky" each picture he sent and by the last one was just like him naked and it was so fun but so wrong! and he asked me to do the same..so i said i would..but i was so afraid because im self conscious and naked pictures are just a bad idea in general. so the next night i did it and sent more teasingly pictures than completely naked ones, and he sent more, and the next night we did it together at the same time and did the whole cyber thing. he also sent a video and asked me to do the same the next night..i was so stressed out every day because i didnt want to take the pictures but at the same time i did and i loved his compliments and i wanted to please him and a video would be just awkward you know? but the night before we did he went to a party, got drunk, and kissed another girl and had to tell his girlfriend and it was this big to do so i told him we need to stop and we did. so then i was like alright we'll still be close and all will be well. yeaaaa right. he didnt talk to me that much at all and he told people he was sick of me and he totally ignored me for a week and during that week i figured out from talking to other people and through whats been going on that he was just using me and he never actually cared about me and was only nice to me and pretended to be my friend so id send the pictures and cyber with him at night. not only did he do this to me, he started to do this with another girl within the past week. and shes 14 too. it sucks and it hurts a lot and he IMed me this morning and said "you are really mad at me huh?" and i just let him have it and i felt so great but he was sweet and said he really does care and really is my friend and all and feels guilty and like..w'ere going to talk later tonight..and i still like him..and i dont know what i should do now! not be friends with him anymore? be aquaintances? be friends? let it all go? be mad or upset? i'm so confused. sorry this is so long, but any help/advice would be greatly appreciated!:)
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I've been used in a way similar to this before. The guy was a year younger than me and we had been friends for a summer because we worked together. I had a huge crush on him, he was single, and we started flirting hardcore online all the time. I was so sure that we'd end up together. Two days after I got up the courage to come out and directly tell him that I liked him, he said this to me. "I'm really reluctant to tell you this, but I have a girlfriend :-/" He claims to have started dating her that day, but he's told me and so many other people so many lies I really doubt that that was the case. I felt extremely heartbroken and used, especially since I'd worked up all that courage to tell him how I felt about him. I was used and I blame it on the internet. People can be way too open with each other when they don't have to look the other person in the eyes. Instant messenger depersonalizes things way too much and things are said that would never be said in real life. Anyways, he wasn't serious about it and I was. He was just having fun and didn't care about how much it might hurt me. He knew I was being serious, but I did practically throw myself at him. He's a guy, he wasn't going to say no. I met his girlfriend after awhile. She was 4 years younger than me and she wasn't that pretty. My self-image dropped to about zero. I was sad for a long time and then I got mad. Very mad. I said some really hurtful things to him and about him to other people. After all that, I'm now good friends with him again and both of us have put everything behind us. We talk online sometimes and we hang out together with a group of people every once in awhile. It's not awkward anymore and I've gotten over him completely. My advice to you would be to not talk to him for awhile. Someone gave me that advice for my situation and it worked really well. Blocking him would probably be a good idea so that you aren't tempted. Three months would probably be a good amount of time. After that, reevaluate the situation. You'll have a much better idea of what kind of relationship you want to have with him. Being friends would be fine, but if that's not what you want, you can just remain acquantances. I don't think he's a pervert or anything, you are only 4 years apart. A lot of married couples have a 4 or more year age difference. So what if he's legally an adult? Just barely. Reporting him would be silly especially since you willingly shared things with him. He's not a bad person, just a jerk. We let those guys hurt us. Use this experience to your advantage. It'll be a lot harder for guys to hurt you in the future. I'm really sorry that this happened to you. I know that what you went through was worse than what I did, but I do feel your pain and know what you're going through to some extent. I hope that I didn't make you feel stupid or feel like it was your fault either. It definitely isn't and you aren't. It was totally all that guy. No matter what he says, he knew how you felt and he lied to you and used your naivety. That's an awful thing to do. I have a feeling that this happens to a lot of people, so you're not alone. It's so easy to get caught up in the moment, especially in the safety of being by yourself, at home, at your computer. That goes for BOTH of you. The possibility that he would have done that to you were it not for the internet is quite small. Now you're all the wiser and I hope that you feel better soon. I wish you strength in getting over this guy and moving on. Good luck!
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Hey
Ahhh people really piss me off
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v yeahh down below.
You don't need to call the cops, nor tell your mom, it's not such a big deal. Whatever you do, stay out of it, don't tell his girlfriend anything. If he finds the need to tell her, he will. The fact of the matter is you knew all along that he had a girl friend and that this was all fun and games nothing else, so there for he didn't really use you! Stay aquaintances. Thats all there is to it!
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I would avoid him at all costs. This guy is sick
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This is a really sick situation.
This guy is an ADULT and you are a MINOR.
He should not be asking for nude pictures of a 14 year old girl!
You know this is really sick and wrong. The guy had a girlfriend, and yet you STILL hooked up with him KNOWING he was cheating?
Oh but you say he cared about you, and loves you..Do you think he's not telling other girls the SAME THING?
I know that you didn't know about the other young girls, but you did know about his girlfriend. You should have known WAY better than to send pictures of yourself to this guy.
So, you know the facts. He has a girlfriend. He's done this to tons of other girls. He ignored you, he told you that he was just using you and now he comes back and takes it all back.
Hmmm..I wonder why. This guy needs to go to jail for you and all of those other minor's protection.
-TheTeenGirl
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Here's what I don't understand. It's so completely and utterly awful to have an 18 asking for nude photos of you, but I know if you had said he was 17 people wouldn't be as harsh about it. It seems extreme to report him to the police. You can, if you want, but only do it for the right reasons. Don't do it simply because you're pissed off that he used you. That really doesn't help anything. You do need to tell his girlfriend though what's happening. She might hate you for it, but you were never close to her to begin with, so who cares? Make sure she knows that you're sorry, and that you realize what you did was wrong. Just move on. Don't be mad, or upset, but don't be friends with him either. Forget about him because he's obviously a sleaze, and DEFINITELY don't talk to him online anymore! Good luck.
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He was using you hardcore. Don't even talk to him. There is something VERY seriously wrong with an 18 year old boy who requests naked photos of 14 year old children.
You probably won't do it, but you SHOULD call the police on this pervert.
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This guy is disgusting. He totally used you and he will continue to use you as long as you allow him to. He doesn't care about you at all apart from what you can do for him. The fact that he's started doing the same thing with another girl should leave you with NO DOUBT that he is a pervert and will gladly use anyone who is willing to be what he wants them to be, his cyber slut. (I'm not saying you are a slut, but this is how he treated you) Your best course of action is to retain what little dignity you have left and walk away.
Let this be a hard lesson and learn from it, don't repeat your mistake. A guy who really cares about you would not ask you to do the things that he asked you to do. A guy who is trustworthy and has any respect for women would not do the things he has done, especially with a girlfriend. He doesn't care about her either, so don't feel alone, he only cares about himself. You deserve better, in the future, remember that you teach others how to treat you. How do you want to be treated? Accept nothing less!
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Don't be friends with him any more.
He is 18 and an adult. He is soliciting nude photos of children. He is a pervert. He could go to jail very easily. One phone call.
I realize you aren't going to want to tell your mom about this ( though you should). So stay clear away from him and warn others to do the same. Hes going to get caught and you don't want your pictures on his computer when it happens.
I'd tell his girlfriend too.
Stay away from him...I mean it!!
Think very seriously about turning him in. Save some other young girls.
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