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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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So everyone is starting to get worried because I’m turning 20 this year and I’ve still never been in a relationship, never dated or anything etc. Especially my dad he’s always bothering my sister and I about “where’s my boyfriend?” Even though I told my dad multiple times I have self-esteem issues and nobody finds me attractive anyways. In high school no guy has given me attention, they always went towards my friends I’ve also been called ugly multiple times by different guys in my grade so you can see how that impacted my self-esteem. Even my first day of grade 9 this one girl was trying to find a girlfriend for their friend and one girl pointed at my and the girl said “eww not her” as if I couldn’t hear her. Another thing is I was always told by my good friend that I’d be prettier if I started to wear makeup. At first back in high school that pissed me off but now that I’m older I understand what she means because makeup just enhances beauty anyways. Also my manager at my job can somehow sense I’m not confident in myself cause she also told me to start wearing makeup cause that’s what helped her build her self-esteem. Anyways with that being said because of how low my self-esteem is I don’t have the confidence to talk to guys, I literally stutter when I talk to attractive guys or stay quiet cause I feel like I don’t have anything good to say in general. My parents, my siblings and my friends are wondering when I’m going to get in a relationship. I can’t give them a solid answer cause I don’t know , obviously I have to grow up eventually I’m not getting any younger and should start experiencing life so does anyone have any tips on how I can get them to back off? (I do want to be in a relationship but you see my situation right?) also I have a baby face making me look 15 instead of 19 which sucks
I do not understand why your parents believe there is something wrong with you because you have not dated yet at almost 20. There is nothing wrong with that. Even if you had plenty self confidence and you were happy with your looks, and you were hit on alot, that does not mean you will be guaranteed to find a guy you even want to date.
Perhaps they married young or are from another country where it is common to date and marry early?
Or they are afraid you may be gay due to not dating a guy. Either way, they need to be supportive. All you can do for now is to have talk with them and let them know that you are not gay but you are working on your self confidence. And when you are ready, you will date but not before then. Then ask them to be supportive of your wishes. Remind them it is not their job as your parents to push you towards dating and besides, you are now an adult and will make your own decisions. You do not want advice from them unless you ask for it. It is actually rude and uncaring to give advice that is not wanted but you understand they did so in the past because they love you. However you are asking that they stop putting the pressure on you.
You could do the make over but that still only changes your outward appearance and that will not fool a guy for long. If a guy does ask you out and he finds you can barely hold a conversation.
I once read a report done on what was more important for a man to be attracted to women. There were average women to model types. The average looking women had self confidence where as the model types in this test did not. After initionally being attracted to the looks, most the men left the good lookers and were drawn to the ones with self confidence. It's true that men worth having will find the beauty that goes deeper than just the skin, who you are inside. write to me from my column if you want the instructions on what to do to gain self confidence. I read it in a womens magazine and tried it and it worked. I'd be glad to share it if you feel ready and want to do it.
(Rating: 5) My parents didn’t marry young, matter of fact the only reason why my dad is acting like this is because all my friends are in relationships and he’s tired of me always being the third friend. He’s always telling me he wants me to experience things but he should just back off and yes I’d be happy if you shared thank you