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Q: Hi there, 24/f, he's the same age. I'm the dork who posted the question about hearing wedding bells in less than a year.
So it turns out that my wonderful, devoted guy may be going to state police boot camp in a month. He had originally intended to go next year, but they're trying to get him in sooner. I told him if they want him, he should go. I am completely supportive of this endeavor, and I think he'd be perfect for the job. The only problem is - and he just told me this morning - that he won't have access to a computer, and rarely a phone. He'll be able to come home some weekends, and I don't know about "snail mail," but we'll have very little contact. Does anyone know if they allow mail?
We live an hour away from one another to begin with, so we're used to a slight long-distance thing, but he works near me right now, so we've been seeing each other more and he stays with me frequently, even if it's just overnight. When he's working closer to home, we keep in touch via - you guessed it - technology. So obviously, things are going to change quite a bit. We'll have much less contact than we already do, and I hate to sound girly about it, but I miss him the second he walks out my door, even if I'm seeing him later the same day.
I have no doubt we'll still be together when all is said and done, but how am I supposed to handle barely being in contact with him at all for five months while he's close enough for me to drive to (and I'm not allowed to go see him)?
Thanks in advance for your help.
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About whether or not they can receive mail I'm not sure, but I sure as heck know about being away from each other for long periods of time.
My husband is in the army reserves. For the first 4 summers of our relationship he had to go away to work for them in various parts of the country. That meant 4 months of every year was spent away from each other after living together for 8 months.
There's no easy way to handle it. I'm not going to lie, I spent a lot of nights in tears, especially when I would find out that he wouldn't be able to give me my weekly phone call for 3 weeks straight because he was in the field. It's not easy. There's no way to make it easy. All you can really do is distract yourself and remember that it's for the greater good that he's doing this.
When my husband was away, I learned the amazing trick of developing hobbies to pass the time. I taught myself how to knit. I taught myself how to crochet. I did paint by numbers. I did embroidery and cross stitch. I learned how to sew. I got a fish and spoiled it like crazy. I trained our dog and kept the house spotless. I got an extra part time job to keep me busy. I volunteered. You name it, I probably did it in the name of keeping myself from opportunities to cry and feel sorry for myself.
Like any horrible life event, this too shall pass. It's just a case of reminding yourself of that when it starts to feel like it will be forever.
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I always look forward to your advice. I suppose you're right. The time will go by quickly. I guess this is as good a time as any to buckle down and learn guitar.
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bio
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My Personal Forum
My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.
In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.
Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.
I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.
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Info
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Gender: Female Location: Ontario, Canada Occupation: Student Age: 26 Member Since: February 14, 2006 Answers: 2207 Last Update: September 26, 2016 Visitors: 92486
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