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Q: My fiancee' recently committed suicide, he was on a large amount of mental meds, to keep from dinking, and he bacame paranoid and not himself. He first disappeared for four days, and then we found his body. I din't think he meant to do it, because he never seemed like the type of person. Anyway we were having major problems after being together for four years and it was coming to the point that we needed to seperate, because the argueing was out of control. I felt I had fallen out of love with him because of his destructive nature. He told me he was dying of a broken heart because of me. Because he felt I no longer loved him, but he said he loved me more than any person ever would.I believed him because he did everything for me. Why would a person who says they love you sooo much take their own life? Why would he cause me all this grief and pain if he really loved me? Plus we have five children, four mine one 10 month old his. Why did he do it to where we would find him? Why didn't he leave a note? I dont think he really meant to do it. Yes I am seeking counseling, but others opinions are important as a third party feedback source.
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Having been in his place but thankfully saved from it a few times, I might be able to explain.
This will sound strange, but he may have believed that he was saving you. People who are depressed and not all there due to paranoia feel worthless. He was causing you pain by arguing, and as someone who loves you very much may have felt that he should protect you from it in any way possible. Thinking processes aren't all there when you're in that sort of state. In fact, one of my attempts was in the same sort of situation.
You're doing the right thing by getting counseling. If any of your children are old enough to understand what's going on, make sure they get in too.
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Yes, but the pain of being without him, and him doing it because of the fear of not being with me, hurts. Bad. Worse than the arguing and fighting ever did. So hard to understand, yes kids get counseling too. Thanks very much for your feedback!!!
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bio
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My Personal Forum
My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.
In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.
Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.
I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.
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Info
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Gender: Female Location: Ontario, Canada Occupation: Student Age: 26 Member Since: February 14, 2006 Answers: 2207 Last Update: September 26, 2016 Visitors: 92595
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