I am going to second the first advicenator not as a qualified professional, but as a former kid who was stubborn, once thought to have a hearing problem (turns out selective hearing isn't a problem), and extremely difficult to direct in school.

I was a strange sort of kid. By the age of 5, I knew I wanted to be a paleontologist when I grew up, could give you the Latin name and period in which just about every dinosaur lived, and could read fluently. I couldn't ride a bicycle until age 8, and I had a lot of problems in school because teachers couldn't get me to do anything I didn't want to.

I had my hearing tested multiple times. I was punished. I was yelled at. I was given poor marks. Then someone realized that I was probably just bored. My parents started at home by giving me extra education and encouraging my interests. Eventually I was put in gifted classes, and that worked like a charm.

Something you need to do is to work with your son. He has to know that he can't just do the things he likes. If that were the case, nobody would work and everyone would live on the beach! Be firm with him. If he has homework, have him do the stuff he doesn't like before the stuff he does. Likewise for chores. Teach him that he gets to do the fun things as a reward.

Back when I taught karate lessons, I taught the white belt children's class. I'd say that about 75% of the kids registered were diagnosed with ADD/ADHD. Every single one of those children did just fine in a very controlled environment where they were encouraged to develop themselves.

Please don't immediately assume that your child is hyperactive and needs to be medicated into a kiddie coma. I see so many children these days Ritalin-ed into shadows of themselves when they are really just vibrant children who nobody wants to spend extra time on. Teachers don't like to (except for the very exceptional) because they don't get paid any extra for it. So it's up to you to make sure your special little boy isn't left behind and given a stigmatic tag that will follow him for the rest of his educational days. I'm not saying ADHD doesn't exist, but there are a lot of kids who are diagnosed who I just don't think have it.

thank you and im very much against medicating him unless its totally nessicary.

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.

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