|
| |
|
i am a girl. 1 am 26 yrs. I allready have sex with somebody. but not very deep. but i am not sure i am still vergin. now i am going to married with differen person. now i am very up sad because if the person know that i already sex with somebody else mean sure this person dont want me. my questions is the person can find out that i already have sex with somebody else? please advise me? (link)
|
It sounds as if your culture places a high premium on female virginity (I'm guessing that you're not from the United States).
Since I don't know your culture, I cannot say whether or not your husband-to-be would care. I know that in some cultures, questions of virginity in a bride can be very serious indeed.
Virginity is defined in two ways:
1. Having never had sexual intercourse. In this regard, you are no longer a virgin. This does not mean that you are in any way a bad person, of course!
2. In women, the presence of a hymen is taken as a sign of virginity. We don't know, from what you've said, whether or not your hymen is still intact. However, sex is not the only way that a hymen can be ruptured. Many kinds of physical activity can eliminate the hymen; horseback riding, for example. And in some women, the hymen naturally atrophies and disappears.
In some cultures there are "virginity testers" who examine women to see if their hymens are intact. These tests are completely subjective; testers have admitted that they base their judgments as much on a woman's aspect and behavior as on the presence or lack of a hymen.
So unless your husband inspects you closely, or has you inspected by a virginity tester, he has no way of knowing whether or not you are a virgin - other than what you tell him, of course.
And even if he DOES have you inspected (a prospect that I as an American find disturbing; it indicates a troubling lack of respect and love), the odds are that he or the tester (if any) won't really have any way of knowing.
Men generally expect a virgin to be tight, her first time. They may or may not expect a virgin to bleed. I think that your best course of action is to simply not say anything about the whole subject; the odds are that your new husband won't care.
It would be ideal if your husband-to-be was someone that you could talk to about this issue without fear, but this is not an ideal world. I wish you the best of luck.
|
|
Rating: 5
| |
Thanks for ur advice. thank you so much.
|
|
