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I have a problem, and it's very bad. Sometimes I just want to cry and cry forver. I have a phobia of not being perfect. I need perfect grades, perfect friends, perfect face, prefect body, perfect breast, perfect family, perfect house, perfect life. I don't know what to do. I always feel so ugly, and that no one likes me. Yet I am very popular in school and have lots of friends. I go to parties every weekend... and try to live the classic Hollister & Ambercrombie California barbie. I'm pretty good at it too, except for my confidence. I'm 5'3" and weigh 103 pounds and am constantly worrying about my body. Everyday I will look in front of my mirror with nothing on and just look at my body and cry. I'm fat, no breast, no butt, my face is too big, my arms are to skinny, but nose is to big, my chinis ugly. I have a dissorder adn I don't know what to do. Sometimes I just think if i should throw up after meals... but the thing is i don't know why i should. Everybody thinks my life is great and perfect... but it's not. I'm so unhappy about everything, I hate my life sometimes i just want to die. What is your advice? Should I stick with my dream of being perfect and plan my plastic surgeries when I get older adn stick with my studies. Or shoudl O let go? Should I go to councilling, please help... I'm so confused! (link)
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I'm not a behavioral health professional, but from what you've said it sounds very much as if you need to be professionally evaluated. Talk to your parents; if you're not comfortable doing that, talk to an adult that you trust - your doctor, a teacher, guidance counselor, minister, rabbi, or adult relative.
It may feel scary, but believe me - what you're going through right now is the WORST of what you'll have to endure. You need help, and you'll feel a lot better once you get it.
The good news is that there are a number of effective treatments for behavioral problems. It may take a while, but you WILL be happy again.
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