Okay, usually advice on my relationship is the last thing I need, but you know what, I want/need advice.
Here's the situation.
My guy and I have been together for about a year and a half. I'm 17, he's 18, if it matters. This year (senior year for both of us), I'm going to a prom at my old school with one of my guyfriends. In the beginning, my boyfriend didn't have a problem with it, but he just called me and we talked for like half an hour about it. Apparently, he doesn't like the way my guyfriends look at me.
Now here's where half the problem lies. I have a LOT of guyfriends. I mean I have like 5 female friends and the rest are guys. I always felt more comfy around guys than I did with girls. The thing is, I know he's right. There are a lot of my guyfriends that I know like me, but the thing is - They know they could never get anywhere with me because I'm utterly devoted to my one and only.
But he's said he's gritted his teeth and not kicked their asses because he wanted me to be happy.
First of all, how the hell do I get him to stop hating my guyfriends so much? They like him, and they think he's good for me - I agree, he is, which is why I accepted his proposal.
(Don't freak out, it's gonna be a looooong engagement.)
Secondly, what can I do to make him feel better about the whole going-to-another-prom-with-another-guy thing?
There was another situation earlier this year when I had to kiss someone onstage, and he was kind of disgruntled about it in the beginning, but he turned out to be okay with it. When I brought this up, he told me he was okay because he was there to see it, and when he was there, the guy I had to kiss acted like he had no interest in me whatsoever (offstage).
I told him it sounded like he didn't trust me, and he said he did, he just didn't trust my guyfriends.
My guyfriends are like my brothers. Yes, okay, I know a few of them like me, but they're not getting anywhere, and their feelings for me are becoming a long running joke.
So what I do about my boyfriend's issues? He's not a jealous guy, really, and this is the first time I've ever had this issue with him.
So basically, help me out. What do I tell my guy? How do I fix the tension between my boyfriend and my guyfriends? Help me out, please.
I don't mean to be discriminatory, however, I rate ones for stupidity and fours for bad grammar and spelling. Thanks in advance!
Honestly, I don't think it's your boyfriend who has a problem. I think you need to talk to your guys friends and tell them to back off.
Even if you say that they could never get anywhere, and it's been a long running joke, it's still completely disgusting and disrespectful to let it be known that they like someone's girlfriend.
If these guys are pretending to like your boyfriend, and then turning around and hitting on you, then that's another reason to think that their disgusting and disrespectful.
I feel this way because I have been in your boyfriends situation. At first, I thought nothing of it, because I knew(thought) my current boyfriend would never actually do anything with any of his many female friends who flirted with him. But, as time went by, I got more and more disgusted. I never wanted to be around those certain girls, and hated the fact that my boyfriend never told them to back off even more.
As time went by, me and that guy broke up, but we've remained friends, and have talked about those past issues many times. I can finally get the truth out of him of why he never told those girls to back off.
When we were going out, he would always tell me that he never noticed it, they were just friends, etc. Now that we're broken up, he can tell me the truth of why he let them flirt. It was because he liked it. He liked the attention he always got.
You might not realize it, but that's probably why you don't want to tell your guy friends to not flirt with you. Even if they do like you, it's hugely disgusting to try to flirt with you, especially since they like your boyfriend and think he's good for you.
Trust me, if you have guy friends who flirt with you. MAKE THEM STOP. If they have no chance with you, then make that perfectly clear. Make it clear that YOU want them to stop flirting, and it's not just that your boyfriend wants them to stop.
What would you rather have? Your boyfriend, or have your friends flirt with you? You need to choose. It doesn't mean you need to get rid of your friends, and you definately shouldn't. But you do need to make them realize that they shouldn't try to flirt with you.
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(Rating: 5)
I can totally understand where you're coming from, however, it's not that they flirt with me. All my friends, especially my girlfriends are really touchy-feely, and I'm the same way. I like hugs. That's not a crime. I have actually told the guys to back off when I started dating my guy, and they did. He still apparently has a problem with them, though. I don't consider hugging flirting. I don't care if they flirt with me or not, I'm not begging for attention. I get too much of it to begin with. Your point makes sense, but I disagree with it. They all know they have no chance with me. I'm engaged - they're not about to try to come between my guy and me. Thanks for your help, though. =)
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