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Boyfriend upset about a stupid situation
Okay, usually advice on my relationship is the last thing I need, but you know what, I want/need advice.
Here's the situation.
My guy and I have been together for about a year and a half. I'm 17, he's 18, if it matters. This year (senior year for both of us), I'm going to a prom at my old school with one of my guyfriends. In the beginning, my boyfriend didn't have a problem with it, but he just called me and we talked for like half an hour about it. Apparently, he doesn't like the way my guyfriends look at me.
Now here's where half the problem lies. I have a LOT of guyfriends. I mean I have like 5 female friends and the rest are guys. I always felt more comfy around guys than I did with girls. The thing is, I know he's right. There are a lot of my guyfriends that I know like me, but the thing is - They know they could never get anywhere with me because I'm utterly devoted to my one and only.
But he's said he's gritted his teeth and not kicked their asses because he wanted me to be happy.
First of all, how the hell do I get him to stop hating my guyfriends so much? They like him, and they think he's good for me - I agree, he is, which is why I accepted his proposal.
(Don't freak out, it's gonna be a looooong engagement.)
Secondly, what can I do to make him feel better about the whole going-to-another-prom-with-another-guy thing?
There was another situation earlier this year when I had to kiss someone onstage, and he was kind of disgruntled about it in the beginning, but he turned out to be okay with it. When I brought this up, he told me he was okay because he was there to see it, and when he was there, the guy I had to kiss acted like he had no interest in me whatsoever (offstage).
I told him it sounded like he didn't trust me, and he said he did, he just didn't trust my guyfriends.
My guyfriends are like my brothers. Yes, okay, I know a few of them like me, but they're not getting anywhere, and their feelings for me are becoming a long running joke.
So what I do about my boyfriend's issues? He's not a jealous guy, really, and this is the first time I've ever had this issue with him.
So basically, help me out. What do I tell my guy? How do I fix the tension between my boyfriend and my guyfriends? Help me out, please.
I don't mean to be discriminatory, however, I rate ones for stupidity and fours for bad grammar and spelling. Thanks in advance!
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wel i think your guy is really sweet hes looking out for you and he must care for you a whole lot on the other hand he seems like hes to protective of ya if he trusts you then he must believe that if any of these guys try it on with you then you will put them straight and that you wont do anything with these other guys i do see why he is so over protective i mean all guys get jelous of the way other guys look at ya and stuf but he must realize that hes the one you go home to everynight not these other lads and he shud be very greatful that he is with someone he can trust
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I think that you should absolutely make sure that he knows that you are devoted to him. Who knows if he will ever get over the fact that you have guy friends and that your going to prom with one of those friends. If he really is the one and only for you, he needs to trust you. Just talk to him about it.
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Let me see if I can tackle this one. lol. Ok, first of all, I think that your boyfriend does trust you. My boyfriend was in a play once and he had to pretend to be dating this girl onstage. Now, they didnt kiss or anything, but she slapped him on the butt. Now, I know this sounds dumb, but I freaked! So, I would say that if he didnt make an issue out of that, then he probably trust you. As far as your guy friends. If you know that they like you, then they have obviously told you that they like you. I dont think that is appropiate considering you have a boyfriend! It sounds like they need to back off a litle bit. Secondly, if this is your senior prom, WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU GOING WITH ANOTHER GUY FOR??? That has to be the most inconsiderate thing I have heard. You wanna know why your boyfriend has a problem with it? Its not that he dont trust you, he has proven that he does. ITS BECAUSE HE WANTS TO BE WITH YOU AT PROM. This is supposed to be a special night. You should spend it with your boyfriend not some guy. I am totally with your boyfriend on that matter. Sorry! Lastly, I dont think that you should be engaged to this guy if you cant treat him right. He has told you that your going to prom with another guy is a problem and you dont care. All you talk about is how to "fix the tension". You need to be more considerate of how he feels about this because I think he is right. YOU NEED TO GO WITH HIM AND NOT SOME OTHER GUY!!!! I know my answer sounds harsh, and I am sorry for that. Dont be offended. Its not meant to be like that. I just think that you needed someone to give it to you straight and to be honest. I struggle with this myself because my boyfriend pretty much has all girl friends, but I trust him and love him. Hope I helped!
Sidenote: In responce to your comment. I DID READ THE QUESTION!!!! I guess it was just the way it was worded. And why did you say that I thought you were an inconsiderate bitch? I didnt say that. But, even if it is another prom, if your boyfriend has a problem with it then it IS inconsiderate to not think of his feelings. I dont know why you took offence to my question. You should have been prepared to take an honest answer if your going to post it. But, I wish you all the best! Good Luck!
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Honestly, I don't think it's your boyfriend who has a problem. I think you need to talk to your guys friends and tell them to back off.
Even if you say that they could never get anywhere, and it's been a long running joke, it's still completely disgusting and disrespectful to let it be known that they like someone's girlfriend.
If these guys are pretending to like your boyfriend, and then turning around and hitting on you, then that's another reason to think that their disgusting and disrespectful.
I feel this way because I have been in your boyfriends situation. At first, I thought nothing of it, because I knew(thought) my current boyfriend would never actually do anything with any of his many female friends who flirted with him. But, as time went by, I got more and more disgusted. I never wanted to be around those certain girls, and hated the fact that my boyfriend never told them to back off even more.
As time went by, me and that guy broke up, but we've remained friends, and have talked about those past issues many times. I can finally get the truth out of him of why he never told those girls to back off.
When we were going out, he would always tell me that he never noticed it, they were just friends, etc. Now that we're broken up, he can tell me the truth of why he let them flirt. It was because he liked it. He liked the attention he always got.
You might not realize it, but that's probably why you don't want to tell your guy friends to not flirt with you. Even if they do like you, it's hugely disgusting to try to flirt with you, especially since they like your boyfriend and think he's good for you.
Trust me, if you have guy friends who flirt with you. MAKE THEM STOP. If they have no chance with you, then make that perfectly clear. Make it clear that YOU want them to stop flirting, and it's not just that your boyfriend wants them to stop.
What would you rather have? Your boyfriend, or have your friends flirt with you? You need to choose. It doesn't mean you need to get rid of your friends, and you definately shouldn't. But you do need to make them realize that they shouldn't try to flirt with you.
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ook, i got it! i wasnt sure, and im glad i helped you and i hope all goes well! ask me anytime!!!
**JoELen**
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I don't know if he'll ever be comfortable with the fact that your going to prom with another guy. It's an unusual situation because its more of a date than just hanging out with some guy friends or going out with several of them as a group. I do understand that you don't see it that way, but I can also understand his feelings about it.
As far as getting him to stop hating all of them goes. Do you ever all get together...him included? Maybe if he got to know them one at a time he would be able to become friends with some of them.
I really doubt he will get over the prom thing until it is over and done with. I think maybe he is trying not to be jealous, but maybe is a little. Like I said earlier, going to prom is kind of a date thing.
I'm sure I wasn't a lot of help, I do hope it all works out for you though. Give him some extra attention and try not to hold it against him. :)
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holy crap ur fricken question is long! HERES SOME ADVICE: NOBODY IS GONNA ANSWER UR QUESTION IF ITS 2 PAGES LONG, SO SHORTEN IT NEXT TIME!!!
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4's for bad grammar and spelling? Who the fuck are you supposed to be? The fucking grammar teacher? Screw that bullshit. I was gunna help you out until you boasted about your awesomenesssssss--(grammar error, only possibility of rating now if a 4). That is total crap! Is this stupidity? Its a little superfluous you have to rate 4's for grammar errors, wouldnt you say so? I think this whole site would agree. If that were i question and i could rate it. It would be a 1 for stupidity!
I have know respect for you! No one else should! You're very discriminatory.
NEways, im probably going to get a one because
you're an ass anyway. Dont worry, im used to it. People thinki throw ambiguous jabs at them, when really. IM ANSWERING THEIR FREAKING QUESTION THEY JUST DONT WANT TO HEAR THE TRUTH!
Anyways, got back to grammar class and teach all the students. Enjoy.
No, im not a pedantic either. So dont go on about me being one.
EDIT
Yes, i only focused on your last answer, because i to debate.
Also, i enjoy pissing people off. Enjoy.
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