icey0990's

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This may seem like a random and completely dumb question to some, but I'm actually quite serious in asking this. My question is that why is it that young girls ages 12-14 and some even younger, feel that they NEED to have a boyfriend just to fit in? You girls don't understand, when your time comes to have a boyfriend, you'll find someone who will like you for you. Also, my other question is why do you feel the need to dress provocitavely, exposing your breasts, butt, and stomach just to look "sexy"? You don't need to be showing all of that to look sexy. You can be completely covered up and still look gorgeous as ever! That was just my random question for today. Any young girl that feels that way, you can feel free to answer.Thanks.

Personally i think your heavily stereo typing and i dont like it. You make girls sound like they are brittany spears dressers and serious sluts. I dont usually see girls in that age group exposing breasts and other various parts. Although i agree on some parts that girls should wait for a guy that sees him for herself..but i can also see where girls get lonely and just want a guy. You made a couple good points but i dont agree about the sexy dressing part. Where do you see girls of that age group dressing like that? If you ask me ..i see that kind of dressing more in the older age groups. Just my opinion..putting in my two cents.
-melissa-

PS you asked for what we thought and when i told you my opinion you had the nerve to rate a 3..just because we dont agree?

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ive going through alot of changes and i have new friends.. so yea but one firend, sarah, introduces me to alot of people in High school.. whateveer and i meet new people. I sometimes get the feeling that they dont liek me. and every guy ive ever liked likes her and gives her the attention, all of it. Id say shes loud and can be mean but i love her..advice?

I know it can get frustrating..but you have to keep being yourself and keep your head held high. You'll find the right boy when you dont see it coming..and the wait will be worth it! What makes you think they dont like you? Stay positive and friendly..there wont be a reason for them to dislike you. Besides..if they do its their loss isnt it? :)

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I hate getting new people in my life. My Aunt and Uncle got devorced and now they are both getting remarried and i hate both of they're fiancees. My other aunt got remarried and i dont get along with my new uncle. My grandma and grandpa got divorced and my grandpa got remarried. I feel like my new grandma is trying to buy my love because she always gives me stuff when I go to see them. How can i be more accepting?

Acceptance will come naturally. Try to stay positive and keep in mind its a new family for them too. Your new grandma is trying hard to break the ice which is cool of her. Keep a positive outlook and as you warm up to your new family members..you'll become more accepting
-melissa-

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i feel so lonley without a boyfriend. i miss having some one here to always talk to and stuff, is that wrong?

absolutely not..every human wants someone to love and hold. I know how your feeling but dont worry when you least expect it that perfect guy will come into your life....
-melissa

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Alright i was talking to the guy that I have kind of been more than friends with and his girlfriend called him while i was on the phone with him... when we were doing stuff together he didnt have a girlfriend... but ne wayz he came over to the other line and i asked him who is was and he said it was his girlfriend.. i asked him if he wanted me to let him go and he said no. he told his girlfriend he was busy and then he told me that he was talking to me ne wayz. well anywayz i really like him but i dont want his girlfriend to get hurt should i back off until they break up or what... plus doesnt he seem like he likes me???/ im confused please help......

yeah..i feel bad for the other girl. Imagine if you were in her position..wouldnt it be horrible if you found out ur bf was cheating on you? I would back off and if he likes you that much he should break up with her. Talk to the guy and tell him to just break up with her if he likes you so much.

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my sisters planned a surprise party for my mom's birthday because she is turning 50! my sisters said i could bring a boy to it if i wanted. i really want to, but how would i ask him if he wanted to go?

How close are you with the boy? If hes a guy you talk to a lot and he hangs out with you or knows your family...all you have to do is ask him to come and im sure he'll be thrilled. If he isnt as close..just ask if he'd like to go also..say your sisters said you can bring someone and you would like him to go

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Im 13 years old and all my friends have boyfriends. I dont and Ive never had my first kiss. I mean i saw a ten year old making out at school. Thats just wrong. But i had a boyfriend and it was my friend. Well i saw him for one day i said yes then i didnt hear from him in like a month so i guess he broke up....Ok well any advice and dont say ur day will come.

Wow..10 years old? It keeps getting younger and younger. Dont worry..when you least expect it you'll find someone. Dont do anything but be you..this way when you go out with someone and get your first kiss..you'll know they kissed you because you were you and not someone else. So be yourself. If you go to a a party and you want to kiss someone..just flirt a lot..smile..and wait for the moment. You could have your friends dare a guy to kiss you but i dont know if that woul be such a great kiss
-melissa

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Well what happened is my and my friends are great together there is only 3 of us and we are really close, but for a while now my friend has been going on about this girl she met at a club and they have become really good friends and she and her have become best friends i mean that me and my other friend have been her friend longer we have known each other since we was little and it seems like this other girl sarah it toltally taking her away from us help us please elly and lisa will rate

Friends go through phases. Sometimes they are closer than ever..and sometimes they reeally drift apart. Try hanging out..the four of you. WHo knows...maybe her new friend will really like the two of you and maybe the 4 of you will become close. If thats not that case..and the two of them are constantly hanging out..you have a couple options. You can confront her (not being mean) but just tell her you dont want to lose her and you miss the way things were. Or you and your other friend can hang out and go solo until your other friend starts hangin out with you again.

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well i have two best friends ((Rachel and Rissa)).. well heres some back ground.. rachel hates rissa but rissa doesnt hate rachel.. but rachel stayed over last night and i wrote a letter to my mom saying that riss was comming over soo she was like.. okay ill have rachel go home!! soo then rachel gave me the silent treatment cuz she new that something was up!!! soo i couldnt tell her cuz i didnt know if rissa was even comming over ((we had planned her coming over for a while)) so then we got back to my house and rachel says I WANT TO GO HOME. soo she goes home and then all of a sudden i get a text message saying WE CANT BE FRIENDS AND MORE and i was like why and she never responded.. well i no she will get over it and everything but when shes mad.. she tells everything i told her.. and she has alot on me like stuff im not going to get into.. but its really bad if she tells the people which i think she will and i dont know what to do about this because i think this could be a lonnnnnng fight and she will tell people everything and i have a few things on her but she will just deny it.. i need help!!!!! HELP ME PLEASEE

You should deny it too if it gets to that point. Does she have an sn on AIM? if so..talk to her on there telling her how you feel. Explain to her that you had her go home because she hates the other girl. Shes the one who made things complicated because if she would just chill out and not hate the other girl..none of it would have happened. I have a feeling once you guys talk..whether its on AIM,on the phone, or in person..and you get all your anger and feelings out..then reach a "truths" and forgive..you'll be ok. If she denies what you say about her..then you should deny what she says about you. Just tell everyone shes saying all that because shes mad and she knows your right.
-melissa

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well, see i used to have these two really good friends and I had so much fun around them. then things got shaky and they started hanging around these really bad guys that always wanted us to do stuff for them , and I couldnt take it. turns out, their realtionships at home got worse and they started fighting with their moms and such. but i still remember all the fun times we had. should i let them back in?

I think you should. Its not like these girls were mean to you. Its ok if they go seperate ways from you and do stuff or hang around with people your not comfortable with. As long as they dont pressure you to hang with these guys or do what they do..be friends with them. I think you can be friends with people who might do bad things..just dont get into it. If you have good memories and a good friendship..then i would hang out with them. Just keep what they do outside with those guys seperate from your friendship
-melissa

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my bf and i hav been going out 4 just about 2 months, and he lives a few towns away, so we only c each other on weekends and stuff, but its still not that much. anyway, hes kind of that cute shy type, but hes still done more then me,(i havnt dun much) so all wev dun is make out, but he askd me later how far i would go wit him, and honestly i dunno. i really like him, and he said he even LOVED me which is kinda hard 2 believe concidering wev only been goin out 4 bout 2 months, but maybe i should do sumthin, just like foolin around, but we rarely c each other, and when we do it's usually at a mall or sumthing, so thers no oportunity, and o ya, thers kinda the prob that i said iv been fingered, but really havnt, and he said he has done it (which so far I believe). so basically, hel prob want 2 do it sumtime, but iv never really dun it, well, i gues wat im sayin is...dus it hurt? wat if im 2 nervous, but i really do like him a lot? i kno this is so stupid and i feel really immature, but i need some advice.
xoxo, jessi

If your ready for this and you WANT to do it..then go for it. It depends how much it will hurt. Obviously if hes rough or uses a few fngers it will hurt. If it hurts..tell him to go easier. If hes gentler and uses not as many fingers..it wont hurt as much. Dont do anything your not ready for. If your too nervous then dont do it. Your bf probably really does like you..but he just might be saying "I love you" to get further with you. When you do it dont be nervous..and dont feel like you have to do this, because you dont
-meissa

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Last year i went to this valentines day dance. my best friend had a girlfriend and i didnt and i felt like a "tag-along". he has so many girls that like him and i think it might happen again this year. i was thinking that i might try to ask someone too but i dont really like anyone so i dont have anyone to ask. I was just going to find someone that i liked a little bit and ask her but im not sure. Should i ask somebody or should i go alone like last year? What should i do? Please help.

Yeah i think you should ask. Big deal if she turns you down..at least you took the chance. Or you can go with a good friend..just as friends. If you wind up not having a date..go to the dance and be the "single guy." Girls will flock around you and dance with you if you get out there on the floor :)
have fun
-melissa

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Aight well i have this friend and she used to like this guy named jeff. Well jeff asked her out but recently just told her he liked me more and bragged about me and soo forth. Well she said no and broke jeff's heart. Well now jeff is madly in love with me and he wants to go out with me. And now my friend is starting to like jeff a little more also. I really want to go out with jeff, but is it okay that i go out with someone my best friend has previsouly liked i don't know but i really want jeff.... But again i don't want to end our relationship...

Sincerely,
Loved friend

The best way to find out is by asking.If you can tell shes truly not comfortable with it..dont do it. Things might be kinda "tender" right now..but then again they may not be. For example..i liked someone once and so did my good friend..but the boy liked her. She didnt want to hang with him just because i liked him but that wasnt the case at all.

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I have this friend that I have been there with all the time. I wanted to ask him out but I don't think I've ever had a chance, been nothing but a friend and someone to free load hw off of... So, he asked one of my best friend out.. It was really wierd because, I was happy for him and her.. and everything, but I was angry and cursing myself for not taking a chance because I could just ask him after they broke up. She made some excuse that she was too busy to go out with him and he was completely crushed. So I left him alone with this, because well.. I'm his friend and I wouldn't want to just aggravate things further. Now there is some girl that is a cheerleader going after him.. She always has short flings with guys and is very capable of having a time to get a guy in her house and do things. I really don't think this is what he needs right now, and I don't want him to be even more depressed because then I will have to wait even longer for him to be ok for me to ask him out again.. *sigh* it's all so very complicated and I just hate this. I always forget what I want to say around him, feel nervous.. gah.. It's really funny because, he just doesn't see it.. like I never have a chance..

:( I feel you! Im in the same boat..i dont think the person i like would ever like me. But as a friend..maybe say to him.."you know..this cheerleader has a bad rep..and your too sweet for that" kinda drop hints you like him. Tell him hes sweet and he desserves the best and how any girl to have him is the luckiest girl in the world. That will loosen things up for you..then soon when yo gather your courage..just tell him! Onine..on the phone..in person..in a letter..whichever works best for you! Im in the process of gathering my courage too..but just think to yourself.."sure its a gamble..but if i dont tell him i`ll never truly know what could have been" he worst that can happen is he'll tell you "i dont see you that way..your just a good friend and i cant see us together" yeah things might be weird for a couple days but hey at least you can go to sleep at night knowing you wont regret never telling him how you feel
-melissa

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I cheated on my husband for over a year it all stared because he had slapped me and I couldnt forgive him. He tried everything to get me back and I was being a bitch and unwilling to hear anything he was saying. After a while I came to my senses and wanted my famly back, but now he can't forgive me for the affair, but he has recently started seeing someone. Its so confusing because we have a daughter together and even though hes been seeing this other person we have still been sleeping together and now I'm pregnant again (its his) Now he's telling me to be patient and that he hasnt been speaking to her anymore and that she hasnt been coming around, but I don't believe him. I really want to save my marriage and I don't know how to go about it. We dont live together and I just want to be at home with my husband and daughter. What should I do?

"Walk, don't run, to the nearest marriage counsellor." no no..i think you should run, dont walk to the nearest marriage counselor.Lots of couple go and it really helps. All they need to do is let some things off their chest..get some professional mediation from the counselor..and they are ok again. Try this. Tell your bf to stay together and give it another shot..that you wantt o be a family etc. Was the slap an isolated incident? If it wasnt..rethink some things. It might be best to let him go if it wasnt an isolated incident. If it was..and you dont think it wil happen again try saving it. But remember..it takes TWO to save a relationship..you cant do it all on your own because he needs to WANT to do it. If hes stubborn and refuses to try and fix it..you should move in with your mom or some relative so your children have a good place to live and you can raise them until another man comes into your life.
Just my thoughts..hope i helped
-melissa

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Okay, here's my story... So, I had like a million friends at my old school, and had no problem having fun and kicking back during school and on weekends, but now I moved (for the 5th time), and it's been the hardest move for me, at first everyone was great and i made 'a' team basketball and even popular people were nice to me, but i made a major "mistake" apparently. And now one of the rudest popular people kind of turned her popular friends (the supposed nice ones) against me secretly behind my back, i used to sit by lunch with them and everything, so now i FINALLY found some other people to sit with at lunch, and a few friends to hang with, but i never hang out with them outside of school, and basketball is still going OKAY, but most of the popular people are on the team with me, and it seems like they ignore me, and i really want them to like me, it's just my life has become opposite of how it used to be, it went from fabulo to mediocre, and school isn't that fun anymore.. how can i become accepted and forgiven (i've already tried apologizing in a mature manner!!), i need help, sorry it was long, but can some caring person out there give me some good advice!!!!!????

p.s. and the weird thing is--especially at my old school--III was the one giving the advice!!

Its alright..i still need advice (LOTS lol) and im a columnist. Well to start off.. you have nothing to be sorry for so why were you apologizing? The leader of this popular group is ovisouly jealous or something..so she turned everyone against you.Well on our bball team..if people are shutting another person out..we have a "team meeting" with the coach or whatever. Just tell your coach the situation and how you want your team mates to get along with you etc. Before you try the tteam meeting..ask them what it is exactly you did? Dont kill yourself over the,..is their loss if they are going to be so stuck up. Popular isnt everything..so maybe you should try hangin with people who arent popular.Im not all that popular but i still have a great cluster of friends. If you start talking to these other people you'll naturally start hangin out with them. Are they nicer girls? If they are definately hang out with them more. It might take a couple weeks..but you'll find your niche in school. Just stay sociable..*you sound very sociable* and you'll be fine!
Write back to me if you rnt getting anywhere and we'll take it from there
-melissa

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ok so i like this guy john and he likes me too and he hasn't told anyone and nobody knows that i like him because my friend alexia still likes him after a long, big relationship with him. and thats just bad. she asked me if i like him because i always flirt with him and i said no. i was lying though. i really want to tell him that i like him but i am afraid that if i do the word will get out and alexia well lets just say she will turn a lot of people against me. how should i act around john? should i tell him? should i tell her? any advice????

I would tell your friend you like him. The other option would be to tell him you like him but you dont want word getting out if you guys hook up. Thats bad because having a relationship in sexret is no fun..plus it will come back to your friend which will get messy. So talk to her when you have time for a nice long talk. Tell her you like him but you werent going to make a move or anything until you talked to her first. See her reaction and if shes ok with it..then go for him. But if shes not..i would back off. Its not worth it. However, just because she went out with hhim doesnt mean you guys cant hang out right? So maybe hang out with him as friends and maybe sometime in the future you can go for him. Thats just my opinion..i hope i helped
-meliss

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I know this is pretty stupid to ask... but.. I've been with my boyfriend 4 months. and a couple nights ago.. he fingered me... well... I bled a little... and ever since that night hes done it... and now.. I'm really starting to hurt. but... It feels sooo good... and I dont want him to stop.. but what can i do to not make it hurt soo bad? is there anything..

Boy I feel stupid :(

Dont feel stupid..its a normal problem.Some optoions to help ease the pain is
A) hav him perform oral on you first..this way your wetter down there..or use lubrication.
B) telll him to go easy for awhile because your hurtin..tell him maybe just rub your clitoris for now.
C) make sure his nails arent too long becausee tha doesnt help lol
-melissa

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Hey everyone, well i'm a little late with my period this month. I'm definitely a virgin but i was wondering if there was a reason that you could skip a period one month without being pregnant. answers anyone?

Yeah, especially in the first few years you tend to skip/. No worries about it though. Aslo if your stressed that will cause your period to be delayed. Igf your gaining or losing weight that will also mess your cycle up.
-meliss

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heyy, my friend told me i should go out with this guy who happened to be her ex, but theyve both dated other people and moved on... so now hes my b/f and we like each other a lot,and when we hung out at the mall the other night with my friend she started liking him again and now shes making me feel all bad cuz shes like "oh i'll never stop liking colt, and i will always love him" and "he was mine but now you have him" what should i do?? and how should i handle my friend?? love, lauren!!
ps.. colt is my b/fs name

Tell her thats really unfair! Shes the one who hooked you up and you were under the impression that everything was OK. Tell her that you and Colt are together now and its not right to like him when shes the one who hooked you up! I can understand if she started to like him, but to make you feel bad like that is ridiculous! Tell her all of that..who knows she might come to her senses and realize she was wrong. If not, ask her "would you be happy if I broke up with him even though we are both happy..just so you can be happy?" Also try talking to Colt about this..see what he thinks. He might suggest to break it off but to still be "good friends" with you if you know what I mean. That can get tricky because you'd have to keep it secret from your friend. tell your friend not to be mad..and if your friend told you before you two went out that she still liked him, you would have backed off. Explain you have FEELings for him and its not fair what shes doing.
write back to me if shes still not accepting this..and we'll take it from there
-melissa

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