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Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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Member Since: July 16, 2007
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Last Update: April 13, 2014
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ok so my boyfriend and i have been going out for almost 3 months, and i was kind of wondering when things are supposed to go to you know, like the next level in a relationship? I mean, he knows that i am a virgin and don't have that much experience with guys, but how would i show him that i am ready you know? and how long do people usually wait once you're in a relationship? (link)
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No one can tell you how long to wait.
You're obviously pretty young, so my first inclination is "wait as long as you possibly can"
What do most people look for?
Most people want to know that they want to wake up next to this person 6 months from now. Most people want to be interested enough in the person that you want to find out how much you can do together. Most people want to know that their partner cares about them, and cares about what they think, what they want.
You two need to talk. About sex. You need to talk to him about whats going on in your head. Let him know you aren't setting dates or deadlines, but that you like him alot (or whatever applicable affection word) and that these things are on your mind. Ask him whats on his, what he thinks. Talk to him about what you both want, what you don't want.
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I cheated, and the guilt haunts me every single day. If I were to describe the whole, huge situation and the circumstances, it would take forever, but basically: My friend and I went to our friend's apartment. We drank, and we didn't want to risk driving home, so we stayed the night there. A guy I barely know took advantage of me, and we kissed and he tried to do more, but I wouldn't let him. I regret every second of what I did, and if I could rewind time, I would never have even put myself in this position. It was terrible and even though I was under the influence, I know it isn't an excuse.
My boyfriend and I are still together and happier than ever though, because he won't ever find out it's true (someone told him, and I denied the whole thing, which is the main source of my guilt). I think I have punished myself enough, by having so much of this guilt on my shoulders every day. It sounds very selfish & terrible, but I cannot lose my boyfriend. He means the world to me and I know how lucky I am to have found someone so amazing. We have so much fun together and I can't see myself with anyone else.
I just want to hear other people's accounts of cheating- being cheating on, doing the cheating, etc. Were you forgiven? Did you keep it a secret? What happened? Any advice/comments are welcome. (link)
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Its devastating. It fucks your world up.
Now, as a guy who has been "fully" cheated on, I know that I personally would not have been a tenth as hurt by what happened with you.
I will also say that I'm still with the girl who cheated on me, so I think you could say I forgive more easily than most.
You kissed a guy while you were drunk. Is that fucked up? Yes. Did you stop? Yes. Did you display SOME judgment when it really counted? By my estimation, a resounding YES.
You have to work on pumping the breaks sooner, and work hard.
Now, as to telling him? I don't know. Do I think he deserves to know? Yes. Anyone deserves to know that. But is it a good idea? No clue.
I don't know how he would react to it. I don't know if he would do something he would regret like leaving you, or if he would leave you without regret, or forgive.
If you had slept with another guy, I would tell you to tell him. Because showing no restraint in even in that situation would have made you undeserving. But you stopped.
Mistakes happen. I couldn't fault you for keeping it to yourself. You'll eventually tell him, but perhaps adding a few years of dedication and love to the equation will give a different perspective.
::Edit::
Though the person below makes a very good case for telling him. If you don't tell him in the next few days, you kinda gotta wait a long time be honest. But whatever happens, make sure that he finds out from you.
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I got married on very short notice. I have known him for a total of three years today in fact and been married for 17 months now. I was very young and so was he. Still are. We are both 25. We both have children from another relationship and one together. If I could write in detail everything it could take forever. lol Here is the thing. I am changing as a person and he is not. He is not trying to grow with me and he really doesn't know me at all. We never talk only through text including when we are at home. All he cares about is sex and he wont understand how I can't unless the emotional part is there. At work another man is paying alot of attention to me. He doesn't work there he is just a customer. He actually makes me feel really good about myself unlike my husband who would rather call me names. Did I mention he has cheated 6 times in three years? Not sex but it might as well been to me. Even before this other guy came into play, I wanted out. I can't take the hurt he has caused me but I am terrifed of leaveing. That is just a quick some of things. Now what I would like to know if anyone has been through this or something simular? Will you help me figure out what I should do? I still love my husband but I do not like him if that makes sense. This has nothing to do with the other guy and all I do is talk to him from time to time about everyday things. I cant do that with my husband. This other guy just makes me feel like I'm not crap. That I can do anything I want still. He makes me feel free again. Please. I really don't know what to do. (link)
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For most of that first paragraph I was sitting here thinking that you two just got married young and didn't have a clue who each other were.
Now, I'm thinking hes worthless.
He doesn't make any effort to talk to you. He asks for sex when there is no intimacy. He runs up excessive bills on porn, which is stupid if for no other reason than there is a wealth of it for free online, and you obviously have an internet connection.
First, you need to get a divorce. Emotional neglect is plenty of reason. Its time, you won't be happy with this guy, and he won't change, possibly ever.
Personally, once you have stated your intention to divorce and moved out, do what you want. Once you are separated and have officially filed for divorce, I'd ask a lawyer but I think you should be fine, it won't be cheating or anything.
Figure out how to get yourself independent and get out. You're still very young, and I'm sure there is a guy or two you'll meet along the way who are actually worth it and will give you a partner rather than a leech.
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what can i say to my boyfriend while texting him. something cute, yet a bit naughty. i don't just want to be like... "i want you" that sounds kind of weird to me? i dont know is there anything i could say that would kind of turn him on.
thanks 17/f by the way. (link)
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I'll the echo "I want you" being a good thing.
A blunt expression of desire is sexy, its something not that many people will ever say to him in his lifetime, and its a good feeling to know someone desires you like that.
I'd go with something along the lines of "I keep touching my neck, I wish it were your hand"
Sweet, cute, yet still suggestive. Telling him what you wish you were doing, what youre thinking about him, anything like that.
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(she's 13 im 15)
ok last night i told this girl how i felt i told her everything and she said it was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to her and it made her cry and so she said she would think about it and so i talk to her today she said once again it was the sweetest thing anyone has told her and that i was an amazing guy but she doesn't feel the same way which sucks to here but im ok with that but she feels horrible about it and keeps asking if im ok does this mean she could possibly have a change of heart? (link)
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No.
More than likely, she won't. Why? Because if she doesn't feel the same way you do when you confess, shes going to cut herself off completely.
Next time, don't tell a girl how you feel until AFTER you know she feels the same way. You have to give her time to work herself up to feeling the same way.
Simply put, men are decisive. Men decide they want something, and pursue it directly. Girls don't work the same way. Girls like being pursued, but they want to want being pursued first. They want to be interested in you before you start going after them.
So what do you do?
- Smile alot. Small smiles. Practice in the mirror if you want (no shame in it, your facial expression is as much a tool for you to use as anything) and give girls small smiles. Let them know you make them smile, but don't grin too much.
- Ask girls questions. Girls love to talk about themselves, so if you act interested in them they more easily become interested in you. Listen to what a girl says. Ask her to explain things. Jump in with your own stories or comments that relate and let her talk about herself some more.
- Don't tell a girl everything you're thinking. Girls like puzzles. They like guys that they can't understand right from the start. So keep how you feel to yourself. Act interested without saying that you are. If she likes you back, its stronger because she'll be sitting there when you aren't around wondering if you like her back.
Girls think about guys more than you probably imagine. If a girl likes you, shes going to think about you alot. You want to give her more reasons to think about you. Make her smile when youre around. Try to make her laugh.
- Don't be something you arent. If you're shy, be shy, but talk to her anyway. If you're nerdy, be nerdy. Most people can tell when you're faking something, and genuine responses get you alot.
Remember, you don't want to say everything you're thinking, but you don't want to lie, either.
- Don't smother. Yeah, you might want to spend every waking minute around her. She doesn't yet. You gotta work on that. Don't call more than twice without hearing from her until the next day, leave a message. Don't text more than 2-3 times without a response. Girls can't miss you if you're always around, that includes calls, texts, and e-mails.
- Do not under any circumstances be sad without a VERY good reason.
This is a big one. Emo has been all the rage lately and everyone thinks being sad helps you out, but it really doesnt.
You want her to think you're a happy, or at least level headed person. If you're sad it should be for a specific reason that she can sympathize with. Otherwise, bury it until you've been on a few dates.
My general rule is you shouldn't be mopey, and shouldn't be upset about anything unless its something family related or something like that. Your grandmother being sick will make her want to comfort you, you being upset about something a sibling or parent did is probably going to make her wish she were something else.
Thats not to say you can't complain a little bit. One of the easiest ways people find things in common is by figuring out what they both hate. But if you tell the story about how your dad gave you a ridiculous lecture and grounded you for three weeks because you did something stupid, the story should be funny and you should only be a little annoyed about it, not upset.
Basically, if you can laugh at it, hopefully she can too. Plus funny gets you bonus points with girls.
You've got more than enough to read, I can't tell you the girl will change her mind, they usually don't.
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Hello.
I am engaged to a great guy, I love him to death. I never had sex until I did it with my fiance. He has had sex with two other people before me. Recently he started talking to the girl he first had sex with. He says they are friends and I know that. I don't understand why this is killing me. It bothers the hell out of me that he would randomly start talking to this girl again. All I can think of is that maybe because he has had other people and I haven't.
Someone please help me figure out my feelings.
Thank You. (link)
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The key to controlling emotions is understanding yourself.
Now, a first wildcard guess at whats going on, you feel threatened. You don't know for absolute certainty that you're the best, or "as good" as his previous girls, it unsettles you to think that he misses something about her other than conversation.
Start off a conversation with him. Tell him you need to talk for a few minutes.
Tell him you've been feeling a bit insecure. Tell him that you don't think that there is a problem, and you don't want him to stop seeing his friends, but that it makes you uncomfy and you think he can help you deal with that. Tell him that you feel like you can't be sure you measure up to his previous experiences and you want his help with feeling more secure about your sex life.
Give him a minute to reassure you that you're wonderful in bed.
Now lead off into a conversation about sex. Ask him what he likes, ask him about his fantasies, what does he like that you do, what would he like to do? Tell him about yours. Come up with a fantasy or two, or something you'd like him to do for you. Tell him you want to take care of your insecurity by being the best he's ever had, so that you can know that no one can do for or to him what you can and do.
Turn this into something to do together. Be open to some new ideas and remember that sex is a skill. Practice things with him and ask him what he likes, how something feels, if he wants you to do that, move somewhere else, do something else, and get to the point where you know what he wants you to do before he asks because you've done it so many times.
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17/female
i have a best friend. him and his girlfriend have been going out for almost three years now. truly, he is such a good boyfriend and they are really cute together which does make me jealous but within the past couple of months he has been trying to get with me, it's so weird. me and him have always had sort of this connection, and of course an attraction to each other and everyone can see that (all my friends) and so when i tell them this, they're like i think he is just scared to break up with his girlfriend because they have been going out for so long, he was her first boyfriend and she was his first girlfriend, they lost their virginity to each other but then they tell me he wants me at the same time and is starting to get bored with her, they're losing their spark. i'm just so confused i've even tried talking to him about it too, like if he says he wants to "do stuff" with me i will be like you have a girlfriend..and he is like i know but she won't find out and then i was like it's still wrong though and i was like why don't you break up with her then and he always just says i dont know its so complicated like i want to do my own thing but i dont know. and he will be like it's not like she is my wife or anything and i was like pratically you guys are ALWAYS together and he is like thats because she always wants to hang out and i feel too bad saying no. he doesn't EVER really clearly give an explination though and i know he is very confused. i just want to give a comment to him like, "well have fun with her for the rest of your life.." meaning that i think he is too scared to break up with her, he doesn't know what else is out there! what do you guys think, why do you think he is staying with her, i know they have so many memories but if he is getting bored with her, why is he staying with her when he also knows he could have ME.
also is there anything else i should be doing? i try not to interfere with their relationship, i do want him to be happy but i don't want him to be just staying in it for sex and stuff like that. (link)
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Modify the following speech to your own uses.
"_______, we are friends, and right now just friends. I do not want to talk about you cheating, or about you liking me while you date someone else.
I don't want to date the kind of person who could cheat because he can get away with it. Whatever attraction has existed between us is not something you need to compromise yourself over. I've known you a long time, and you've had my respect, so act like someone who is worthy of it. If you want to break up with her, break up with her.
If you want to talk to me after that, we'll talk"
If you are interested in this guy, and you honestly think you could date him, then be honest about that, but tell him he has to make a clean break. Don't date him for a month or two after he breaks up if he does, let him get used to being alone. Tell him that you won't be the reason he breaks up with someone, that you don't want anything like him jumping out of a relationship with her and into one with you. He needs to find it within himself to make his own decision for his own reason, and when the dust settles you'd like him to call you.
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ok i am a 14/f. everyday at least twice i am thinking about sex. i want to have it but im scared i watch people on redtube.com have sex and i like it. i do not know how to stop this and i need help my parents or sister do not know about this. my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years does not know this and i want to tell him but i dont no how any advice?? (link)
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At 14 most people go through this. The onset of hormones and desires you don't know how to regulate yet.
A flexible shower head or vibrating toothbrush could help. Google masturbation, it will give you some ideas.
Some people have higher sex drives than others. When not sexually active those of us who have stronger desires have to pay more attention so we don't go crazy. Try to take care of yourself a little bit, and beyond that talk to your boyfriend about it.
Tell him that you don't want to do anything about it, and that you just need him to listen and be there to talk to about it, but this is what you're going through. Set boundaries so that you don't go further than you'd want if a conversation heats up with him, and he should be a safe outlet.
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16/f
alright lets start off with saying im a pretty "friendly" girl. i have my slutty moments and i like being around guys, teasing them and what not.
so there was this one guy, b. we started talking this summer and like really got into each other like saying i love you and stuff, but then i met z, my like best guys friends best friend. him and i had a connection instantly and weve been hooking up for like idk a month now. anyway, both b and z knew about each other, z didn't really care, b just pretended he didn't. i saw b once since i met him, he lives in the next town over. i saw z every weekend and he lives like 30 min away.
well b and i stopped talking because he basically called me a conceited whore, which i thought was a good enough reason to end it. so we stopped talking for like a good 3 weeks, although he was always at the back of my mind. so he texted me the other day saying he missed me really badly and as much as he tried to stop thinking about me he couldn't so i started kinda talking to him again, not really sure of what to do because everything right now with z is going like great (knock on wood) like we both have feelings for each other and want to see where it is going to go.
so then there is this other guy, m, who is in college , he comes home every weekend. and ive been talking to him for like a couple weeks now too, kinda teasing him, kinda serious though. he keeps saying all this stuff like he likes me and really wants to see me and kiss me and what not and i just go along with it.
so there is now me, m, b, and z
basically im asking what the hell should i do? (link)
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I think you need to not be so "friendly"
You aren't going to attract anyone worth having this way. You should pick one person and actually take an interest in them, because girls who play with guys the way you are generally end up getting hurt themselves.
Teasing is fine when its foreshadowing. That means, teasing is fine when you have a guy you like, are dating or want to date, to the point that you will likely end up sleeping with them without it being a one night affair.
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yesterday, my boyfriend and i had sex for the first time. we were both virgins. we used a condom, and it did not break. i dont even think my cherry was popped all the way. but when he took his cock out, he had a little cum on it. it touched the tip of my vagina. were not sure if it even went in, we just know it was right there. he did not fully "bust a nut", he just 'came' a little. is there ANY way i could get pregnant? were so scared. i think half of this is because we are both virgins and we dont know a lot about sex, but it wouldnt hurt just to make sure. (link)
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Wait until you've missed your period for a week. If that happens, take a test, and another one a week after that. If both are negative, you should be fine. If either is positive, go to a doctor.
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18 female
so there is this guy. we were texting and we got on the subject of sex. well i'm still a virgin, he knows that. he has only done it with one other girl. anyways me and him were talking about doing it and then i was like you wouldn't be able to handle me ;) and he was like yeah right! i was like im serious, and i was like guess you'll just have to wait and see. well then it really started to bug him and he wouldn't stop asking me why i didn't think he could handle me in bed. truth is i know he could, i just wanted to get him excited and so when he kept asking i didn't know what to say. finally i was just like ok if i said that you could handle me, will you leave it alone!? and he was like yeah see your full of it, you know i can! and then i was like maybe you can, maybe you can't. then he stopped texting me and i haven't talked to him since. like two weeks ago that was too! i don't know if he got mad at me, if he was annoyed, if he just didn't want to talk anymore or what? i'm not the kind of girl to like keep texting him either if he doesn't say anything back, i think thats annoying. but what do you you think happened? now i'm worried that he is pissed at me, did i do something wrong and if i did can i fix it somehow? thanks :) (link)
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Send him a message and act like nothing happened. If he seems upset, apologize and say you were just messing with him.
He's probably as confused about this as you are, and if he's mad an apology will smooth things over.
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I am a 29yo single male who has never had a girlfriend in his life. It makes me sad to see everyone else with their gf, and then there's me. There are times when I am feeling so alone and depressed. I don't know what the point of living is anymore. Seems like there's nothing left in life to look foward to except for. (link)
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What you need to do.
1) Develop a hook. Find something you can do or something you already do thats an easy conversation starter.
2) Find a venue. Somewhere you can meet girls and have enough time for a conversation. The first can help. Gyms are actually a great way to meet single people.
3) Have a wingman. A person on their own is actually far more intimidating than two or three people. If you are somewhere with friends, or even a friend, you must be someone people like to be around. Plus its good to have someone who can give you openings for jokes or build you up.
4) Ask questions. Trite, but women DO love to talk about themselves. One of the best ways to get a girls attention is to be able to hold an intelligent conversation about something you know nothing about. Get her on a topic shes knowledgeble about and let her "teach" you about it. Ask her to explain things.
5) Compliments and unexpected gifts are your best friend. Example. My girlfriend mentioned she likes a certain kind of dip. Its made from a mix thats kinda hard to find, and I went out and found her seven packets of it and drove an hour to get them.
Twelve dollar gift, she loved it and adored me for it. Don't spend alot of money, just spend enough that they know you listen to them.
6) Take things slowly. Its not a race. Talk to her, ask her what shes thinking.
7) Give them space. One of the best things you can do is give a girl time to think about you. If you go on a date, the next day send a text a few hours after you could be expected to have woken up "thinking of you". If she texts back, text a little but cut it off quickly, say you have something to do or something like that. Ask if you can call her later.
Call later, either ask her when or call her later in the evening when shes settled down from her day and has time. Talk for a little while, but again have something to do and get off the phone after a little while.
The trick here is to accept that you have some learning to do. You need to accept that you are going to fall on your face.
Go out somewhere, and start a conversation with the first person you get a chance to. Look at them and see if you can ask a question that gets more than a yes or no response.
Go to a bar and work your way around, just talking. Express interest, don't ask for numbers or anything, just practice talking to people, and if someone acts disinterested smile at them and tell them to have a nice evening.
You're going to fall flat on your face sometimes. Its part of the learning process. Keep calm and don't get discouraged, every bit of experience makes you wiser.
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18/f
I have a boyfriend of six months and we're totally in love. He's a really great guy and totally different than anyone else I've dated. A while ago, he told me that he believes in waiting until marriage for sex. At the time I didn't agree, but as I thought about it more, it made sense- otherwise, what's there to look forward to?
Last week, we ended up messing around a little but didn't go all the way. I was fine with it at the time but woke up the next morning really sad and regretful. I sort of feel like this is gonna end the relationship, and I could see myself marrying this guy. I feel like everything's screwed up now- but I know I'm not gonna say no when I see him again.
What do I do? (link)
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Agreed, talk to him at length.
The first thing you two need to do is set some realistic boundaries. You're both horny, so decide together where you're going to let it take you, and only change it after further discussion.
You know, in the heat of the moment you realize youre about to let him go a bit further, or go a bit further yourself, and you stop.
And talk to him. "I want to do this, but I don't think we should"
It doesnt have to end the relationship, you just have to work on it and communicate more.
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I'm catholic, I even attended a catholic school [K-2grade] I'm 13 now and I don't really believe in God. Actually I'm not that sure anymore. I would like to believe in him but I just don't. So I was wondering if there is like any proof in God. Like how do people know he did exist. Because right now I'm on the lines of believing in evolution because its the only one they have actual proof on and it makes sense. Also, I'd like to add how none of the stories are actually possibe. Like the story about that guy getting swallowed by the whale its impossibe, which leads me to believe God doesn't exist and he's jus a bunch of stories and myths.
(link)
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Though we are continually exploring the subject, currently, there is no direct evidence that links God to anything.
Faith is faith for a reason. Because we can't prove it. We can't show a video where God runs with a blurry outline through some trees.
Now, as far as things like Jonah and the Whale, the entire point of God is omnipotence. I mean, if God made the rules that bind our universe together, then he can break them if he so desires.
If you require direct evidence you probably won't have it. We've been without for 2000 years, I think unless we hit the book of revelation and the anti-christ we will continue without.
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18/f, VIRGIN.
well me and my boyfriend have been going out for a while, i love him to death and i'm definately ready to have sex. anyways the problem is we can't do it at either of our houses, our parents are ALWAYS home and neither of us have a lock on our doors, plus it would just be weird knowing parents are in the house. so my boyfriend was like if either of them don't leave somewhere we can do it in my car. i just laughed and was like oh god and he was like it will be hot :) i'm not sure how i feel about this, i don't think it should matter where but it's my first time you know. and where i live, the high temp is around 30 degrees at night which is cold. what im asking is what sex is like in a car. he has a ford explorer, so it's not like that little and i'm also worried about it being cold! well thanks, any stories or experiences would help! (link)
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Cramped, awkward. Sex is cars usually makes you laugh afterwards unless you're of midget like proportions.
As far as cold, as long as the condom isn't frozen it should be fine, but rubber is going to be less flexible when cold so be gentle for the first minute or two, so it doesnt break.
Honestly, it costs about forty bucks for a room in Motel 6. If nothing else thats probably a better alternative. Might have to put off sex for a week to save.
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19 year old female. my best friend is 18. we've been friends for years now, i trust him with everything i have but i'm one of the most sarcastic people you will ever meet, he knows that. well tonight he was texting me and somehow got confused on what i was trying to say and i was like you are so slow and he was like no i'm not i'm just confused, what were you trying to say? well then i got confused and i was like, now i dont remember, because you confused ME now. i was just like, your always confused, everytime i say something i have to explain it to you! and he was like because you say weird stuff. then i was like well then maybe you shouldn't talk to me anymore if i say weird stuff, keep in mind i was being SARCASTIC, and i didn't know what to say back to him. and well after he didn't text me back. now i don't know what to think, i don't think he would of taken it seriously he knows i'm always like that but it did kind of hurt when he was like "you say weird stuff". what do you think is running through his mind? (link)
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There is a 99.758% chance that he is attracted to you and feels emasculated. He wants you to like him and respect him and he feels like a little brother rather than an equal.
So, be prepared. If he likes you enough to keep track of years, he probably likes you all the way.
If not, he just feels insulted, so try to be a little less condescending and sarcastic when you can.
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Okay, well I kinda snuck out the house at 3am a few weeks ago to go to my boyfriends house and he didn't even know I was going over there he just called me and said "im outside" so I decided to walk out there to see him. Well anyways my parents found out what I did and they think it was all my boyfriends fault that I snuck out even though it was my idea. Well they grounded me from everything and called my boyfriend who I was like in love with and told him never to speak to me again and that I couldn't talk to him anymore. Well that didn't stop me. I been using my friends phone and been texting him and when my parents go to bed I get the house phone and call him at night, but we are broken up. I want to go back out with him, but ill never be able to see him, but im like madly in love with him. Also my parents don't want anything to do with him so what should I do? Like should I go back out with him? or should I just move on and stop talking to him? (link)
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The answer below is terrible.
::Edit::
The answer above is terrible too
::/edit::
"High school relationships don't usually go to marriage, so just let it go and get over it"
If you had just had a bad break up with him because you were fighting, the above might be a more correct answer.
You like him? Do what you can. See him when you can.
The simple fact is, that you have started dating and your parents haven't adjusted yet. Part of the problem here, is you doing things they aren't comfy with, like sneaking out of the house. Thats not a "oh well she's not grown up enough" thing so much as a "we could wake up, and she could be dead, and we'd have no idea until her body was identified by the police". Every parent is terrified of not knowing where their kids are and that they're ok. They're reacting a large amount out of that fear, because they feel they can't trust your judgment.
You need to work up the trust.
Heres what you do.
You talk to them again. Calmly. Tell them that you really like this guy, but you understand that you sneaking out of the house was crossing a very big bad line. Tell them that you won't do things that put you in any possible jeopardy. Tell them that you will abide by your grounding.
Lastly, tell them that you aren't going to never speak to him again. That as your parents its their right to limit your behavior to protect you, and that you understand you can't just go places without their consent, but they cannot tell you who to like or who you are allowed to talk to.
Tell them that you want to talk to him on the phone when your grounding is up. That you're going to see him at school and you're going to talk to him, and that you want to be able to date him (or anyone else) but you want to talk about what would make them comfy enough in the future to let you.
Ask them if they think its ok for you to start dating, and if not why not. Don't get defensive, just listen. When theyre done, ask them if they will take it into consideration that you want to start dating, and would like to work with them so that you can date safely.
Try to get them talking and keep your cool, don't let yourself get angry or upset. Keeping control of yourself and having an adult conversation can open eyes well.
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15/f
i have a 4 year old brother. im scared of being a bad sister and scarring his views of me for life, but sometimes he is so annoying that i feel like really hurting him. when i explain he's being annoying he does the same thing any 4 year old boy would do... do it again.
it scares me and it makes me feel bad because i know he has no idea what hes doing wrong.
instead of hitting him what can i do to make him stop being annoying? (link)
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Children are perceptive. He wants attention, and you don't give him enough (in his eyes)
He knows being annoying gets your attention.
Hug him. When you come home or before you leave, give him a hug. If he tries to hit you or something, sit him in your lap and wrap your arms around him. One of my best friends had a little cousin like that. He would hit people to get attention. When he tried it on her, she would sit him in her lap and hold his arms and just sit there hugging him watching TV or whatever.
He eventually would just come sit in her lap quietly and get hugged. Give him positive attention and he's going to want to return it. And when he annoys you unintentionally just try to remember he's youre cute little 4 year old brother. Kids do require large amounts of patience.
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Hey guys :) Well I'm 16 years old [Just turned 16 in August] and I've been with my current boyfriend since June '08. We've always had protected sex except once on August 14th [2 days before my birthday]. So my last period was on August 1st and since my periods are irregular at times, I counted 30 days after my last period to try and figure out when my expected period would be. Which would have been August 31st. I didn't get my period then and I didn't get it in September at all either. It's already half way through October and I haven't gotten it nor have I had signs of it coming. I did some research and it said I was ovulating at the time I had unprotected sex making it a 15% chance of me being pregnant. I'm just wondering if it's possible that I could be pregnant or maybe my period is just being really delayed. Also, When should I test for pregnancy if I do decide to? Thanks in advance for your advice :)
p.s.
My periods have never been this irregular, I normally just miss one, but not two.
-Ellie (link)
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Get a test, as stated below.
With how long you've missed, its entirely possible and even somewhat likely. You had sex literally two weeks after a period, which is when you are most fertile. You had it unprotected.
Get a test. If its positive, go to a gyno.
If its not, wait a week and take another. If its still negative and you still havent gotten your period, call a gyno and explain the situation, but after all this time if you get two negative tests you probably aren't pregnant.
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what do people mean when they sex changes everything?
does it normally change in a bad or a good way?
thanks. (link)
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In regards to life, it changes what you pursue and how you act in relationships. Virgins date to kiss and be with someone, people who have had sex are looking for potential sex partners in addition to everything else.
In a relationship, usually sex is the beginning of a period where the relationship doesnt grow a whole lot. When a couple is involved having sex at the beginning of the relationship, being around each other becomes a prelude to sex rather than getting to know each other. Plus, you're too into each other and into sex to notice or care about each other's flaws.
As sex becomes more "normal" in the relationship and isnt new and exciting, you start seeing and having to deal with and adapt to each other's flaws and personal quirks.
Thing is, if sex comes into the relationship too early, often the relationship becomes about sex before it becomes about anything else, so when the "honeymoon phase" ends there isnt much left to base a relationship on.
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