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my best friend is trying to cheat on his girlfriend with me..
17/female
i have a best friend. him and his girlfriend have been going out for almost three years now. truly, he is such a good boyfriend and they are really cute together which does make me jealous but within the past couple of months he has been trying to get with me, it's so weird. me and him have always had sort of this connection, and of course an attraction to each other and everyone can see that (all my friends) and so when i tell them this, they're like i think he is just scared to break up with his girlfriend because they have been going out for so long, he was her first boyfriend and she was his first girlfriend, they lost their virginity to each other but then they tell me he wants me at the same time and is starting to get bored with her, they're losing their spark. i'm just so confused i've even tried talking to him about it too, like if he says he wants to "do stuff" with me i will be like you have a girlfriend..and he is like i know but she won't find out and then i was like it's still wrong though and i was like why don't you break up with her then and he always just says i dont know its so complicated like i want to do my own thing but i dont know. and he will be like it's not like she is my wife or anything and i was like pratically you guys are ALWAYS together and he is like thats because she always wants to hang out and i feel too bad saying no. he doesn't EVER really clearly give an explination though and i know he is very confused. i just want to give a comment to him like, "well have fun with her for the rest of your life.." meaning that i think he is too scared to break up with her, he doesn't know what else is out there! what do you guys think, why do you think he is staying with her, i know they have so many memories but if he is getting bored with her, why is he staying with her when he also knows he could have ME.
also is there anything else i should be doing? i try not to interfere with their relationship, i do want him to be happy but i don't want him to be just staying in it for sex and stuff like that.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Modify the following speech to your own uses.
"_______, we are friends, and right now just friends. I do not want to talk about you cheating, or about you liking me while you date someone else.
I don't want to date the kind of person who could cheat because he can get away with it. Whatever attraction has existed between us is not something you need to compromise yourself over. I've known you a long time, and you've had my respect, so act like someone who is worthy of it. If you want to break up with her, break up with her.
If you want to talk to me after that, we'll talk"
If you are interested in this guy, and you honestly think you could date him, then be honest about that, but tell him he has to make a clean break. Don't date him for a month or two after he breaks up if he does, let him get used to being alone. Tell him that you won't be the reason he breaks up with someone, that you don't want anything like him jumping out of a relationship with her and into one with you. He needs to find it within himself to make his own decision for his own reason, and when the dust settles you'd like him to call you.
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My opinion: he's confused. And while I might understand his confusion... I don't think that his present behavior toward you is appropriate.
If he and his girlfriend are having problems... Those problems should be discussed and the direction of the relationship should be assessed. Once the course of the relationship has been decided, if the two decide to go their separate ways... Then he would be in a position to pursue a relationship with you.
And... I have to say... The fact that he's trying to become involved with you while he's still attached to someone else... Is sort of tacky. I, personally, would be insulted. Because he isn't offering you a relationship, he's offering you... something else.
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Hi,
I think the best thing you can do is to stay out of it before you ruin a perfectly good friendship. If he has problems with her, he should talk to her about it. What's the big deal? If he wants to "do stuff with you" why doesn't he just break up with her and he can.
He can't have his cake and eat it too. That's not right. If he is thinking about doing that to her, what will he do to you. You know the both of them and he is putting you in the middle. That is not fair when you have to look her in the face.
You probably feel very flattered that he wants to be with you over her; it's perfectly normal. Most would feel the same way you do.
I think he wants to have both and if one relationship doesn't work out, he will always have a second. Have you thought about that.
He's not respecting you or her very much. I hope I helped you to see things more clearly.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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