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Regret
18/f
I have a boyfriend of six months and we're totally in love. He's a really great guy and totally different than anyone else I've dated. A while ago, he told me that he believes in waiting until marriage for sex. At the time I didn't agree, but as I thought about it more, it made sense- otherwise, what's there to look forward to?
Last week, we ended up messing around a little but didn't go all the way. I was fine with it at the time but woke up the next morning really sad and regretful. I sort of feel like this is gonna end the relationship, and I could see myself marrying this guy. I feel like everything's screwed up now- but I know I'm not gonna say no when I see him again.
What do I do?
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Agreed, talk to him at length.
The first thing you two need to do is set some realistic boundaries. You're both horny, so decide together where you're going to let it take you, and only change it after further discussion.
You know, in the heat of the moment you realize youre about to let him go a bit further, or go a bit further yourself, and you stop.
And talk to him. "I want to do this, but I don't think we should"
It doesnt have to end the relationship, you just have to work on it and communicate more.
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TALK TO HIM!
Are you really worried for yourself, and your own feelings? Or are you concerned about what HE is thinking and feeling after such a hot and heavy session.
I bet you it's the later. It IS confusing for someone to say 'No sex till marriage' and then do everything but the deed. That is kinda weird. That would make any girl a bit nervous and confused if their partner said one thing, and then damn near almost did the exact opposite.
Your doubt and confusion isn't going to go away until you ask him about what happened, and how he feels about it.
If you simply go along with doing the exact same stuff next time you see him, you'll only experience the same anxiety all over again, because you STILL wont understand. You’ll still be afraid that everything is screwed up. You’ll still be in the dark about his opinion and boundaries.
You MUST talk to your partner about their boundaries in full detail to feel comfortable and confident in what you are doing.
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