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did i turn him off, or scare him away?..
18 female
so there is this guy. we were texting and we got on the subject of sex. well i'm still a virgin, he knows that. he has only done it with one other girl. anyways me and him were talking about doing it and then i was like you wouldn't be able to handle me ;) and he was like yeah right! i was like im serious, and i was like guess you'll just have to wait and see. well then it really started to bug him and he wouldn't stop asking me why i didn't think he could handle me in bed. truth is i know he could, i just wanted to get him excited and so when he kept asking i didn't know what to say. finally i was just like ok if i said that you could handle me, will you leave it alone!? and he was like yeah see your full of it, you know i can! and then i was like maybe you can, maybe you can't. then he stopped texting me and i haven't talked to him since. like two weeks ago that was too! i don't know if he got mad at me, if he was annoyed, if he just didn't want to talk anymore or what? i'm not the kind of girl to like keep texting him either if he doesn't say anything back, i think thats annoying. but what do you you think happened? now i'm worried that he is pissed at me, did i do something wrong and if i did can i fix it somehow? thanks :)
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Send him a message and act like nothing happened. If he seems upset, apologize and say you were just messing with him.
He's probably as confused about this as you are, and if he's mad an apology will smooth things over.
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He thought you were going to be freaky in bed and he would be able to have some alternate dimension sex with you if he kept pursing you. He thought this from you saying he couldn't handle you. He probably thought you had some very, very big kink that would be exciting and new for him.
Turns out you're just a regular girl. When you finally just flat-out told him that you're "normal" then he backed off. He figured you probably weren't as exciting and you'd be the same as the other girl he was with with no major kink. You're a regular girl, which he can pick off the street at any point if he truly desired (in his mind).
He also probably saw you as very, very easy in those moments. He probably thought, "Wow, she must be a very horny girl! I can SO get into her pants, and have a new kind of kinky fun while I'm doing it!" When you admit that you're just a normal girl, he backed off, figuring that you weren't as easy as you once made yourself out to be. So, you pretty much stated, "I am REALLY easy!" and then you back-tracked and said, "Okay, I'm not THAT easy..." which made him turn away. You were super easy for a moment, then he realized you were just normal, and that isn't as much fun, you see--now it takes work to get into your pants (in his mind). You aren't a special person to him, so why would he take the time?
Personally, I wouldn't worry about this guy anymore and just move on. If he is going to stop talking to you for days, let alone weeks, after a sexual discussion then he probably really isn't the one after all. A lot of people can be left with emotional scars and baggage when they enter that sort of "relationship" because they are never truly fulfilled and always will be seeking more. Humans were simply made for companionship, otherwise we wouldn't be what we are today and we wouldn't seek others' approval as much as we do.
I also think that leading a guy on to have sex with you is not the wisest choice, especially in this manner. You told him something you simply weren't just so he'd be sexually interested in you. This is not the best way to play this sort of game because if you two have sex he WILL know then and be more inclined to cut off all contact after the activity. If you REALLY want to snag a guy this way (which, of course, I do not recommend) then be yourself and tell them the truth--you're a virgin and, obviously, horny. Most guys will go for any girl who is openly horny because she is seen as easy, and a quick-fix to hormone driven sexual desire.
If you seriously want to continue pursing this guy, just send him a message or call him. By contacting him in any form, you'll be telling him you're desperate, too, so take that into consideration. The desperation may come off as extremely creepy if he hasn't had two thoughts of you after the conversation. Seriously, there isn't anything else that can be done without you looking like a complete psycho. Just call once or text once.
Lastly, just forget about him if he doesn't return communication. Seriously, is he REALLY that special if he's doing this to you? Do you REALLY want to lose your virginity to a guy who will drop and ignore you for two weeks time afterward?
Hope things go well. Feel free to ask me if you have any more questions.
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One more text couldn't hurt. I guess he took your insinuation as a challenge of some sort, which probably insulted him. But that's just a guess. Guys can be so touchy. Tell him, and not necessarily in these exact words, "I didn't mean to offend you. I've always wanted you to be my first, you know that. I'm a virgin, how wild could I possibly be? As for who can handle who, we'll just have to test it and find out ;)". Make sure you find out what made him so upset, though I have a feeling he's just one of those guys who don't enjoy mind games. Good luck <3.
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