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Have you ever cheated?
I cheated, and the guilt haunts me every single day. If I were to describe the whole, huge situation and the circumstances, it would take forever, but basically: My friend and I went to our friend's apartment. We drank, and we didn't want to risk driving home, so we stayed the night there. A guy I barely know took advantage of me, and we kissed and he tried to do more, but I wouldn't let him. I regret every second of what I did, and if I could rewind time, I would never have even put myself in this position. It was terrible and even though I was under the influence, I know it isn't an excuse.
My boyfriend and I are still together and happier than ever though, because he won't ever find out it's true (someone told him, and I denied the whole thing, which is the main source of my guilt). I think I have punished myself enough, by having so much of this guilt on my shoulders every day. It sounds very selfish & terrible, but I cannot lose my boyfriend. He means the world to me and I know how lucky I am to have found someone so amazing. We have so much fun together and I can't see myself with anyone else.
I just want to hear other people's accounts of cheating- being cheating on, doing the cheating, etc. Were you forgiven? Did you keep it a secret? What happened? Any advice/comments are welcome.
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Its devastating. It fucks your world up.
Now, as a guy who has been "fully" cheated on, I know that I personally would not have been a tenth as hurt by what happened with you.
I will also say that I'm still with the girl who cheated on me, so I think you could say I forgive more easily than most.
You kissed a guy while you were drunk. Is that fucked up? Yes. Did you stop? Yes. Did you display SOME judgment when it really counted? By my estimation, a resounding YES.
You have to work on pumping the breaks sooner, and work hard.
Now, as to telling him? I don't know. Do I think he deserves to know? Yes. Anyone deserves to know that. But is it a good idea? No clue.
I don't know how he would react to it. I don't know if he would do something he would regret like leaving you, or if he would leave you without regret, or forgive.
If you had slept with another guy, I would tell you to tell him. Because showing no restraint in even in that situation would have made you undeserving. But you stopped.
Mistakes happen. I couldn't fault you for keeping it to yourself. You'll eventually tell him, but perhaps adding a few years of dedication and love to the equation will give a different perspective.
::Edit::
Though the person below makes a very good case for telling him. If you don't tell him in the next few days, you kinda gotta wait a long time be honest. But whatever happens, make sure that he finds out from you.
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Hm, I'm going to assume you were the person who wrote the other question. I answered. If not, it's pretty much the only other cheating question to your right :)
Well, I have cheated 2 times and have been cheated on once. I cheated on the same guy both times and he ended up cheating on me. He never found out I cheated on him, but my friend told me he cheated on me. To this day, he doesn't know I cheated on him.
Ok, I know this isn't your question, but I think you should tell your boyfriend. It will take a load off and you won't have to live with that guilt anymore. I know, I have the major guilt still hovering over my head. I think you should just explain it to him, tell him what happened. If he really loves you, he'll want to keep you 2's relationship afloat, whether or not there's a hole in the ship. He might not trust you as much, but it will strengthen the relationship and be much better for it in the long run. If he finds out about it from someone else later, maybe a group of people who can somehow prove it, he will lose all trust in you. I mean, wouldn't you rather here from the person who actually cheated on you than some other friend who just knows?
Well, goodluck! Hope I helped!
-Jessica 14/f
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tell him if i were you i would sit him down and tell him you denyed this because of being afird of loosing him but now you feel like you are hurting him by not telling him the truth.. tell him everthing that you wrote on here you drank and didnt want to drive because you were underthe influence. a guy had taken advantage of you and the only thing that happened was him kissing you and you aren't going to put your self in a situation like that again let him no how much you love him and you cant loose him. if he truely loves you he will be upset but it will take him a little to trust you again. he is going to want to know where and what you are doing. good luck,
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