My favourite quote is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.
Life really is a roller-coaster with it's ups and downs and varying speeds. Yet no matter how hard you try to stay on an even keel, something always comes along to kick you in the teeth and remind you just how fragile life is. We are all trying to live the best we know how and to get along together. So take time to appreciate those around you and tell them how much you love them occasionally. A smile and a kind word speaks volumes.
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset
Occupation: Housewife/Mother/Counsellor/Volunteer
Member Since: April 20, 2006
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Last Update: February 17, 2009
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14/f
For the past two weeks my stomach has been acting different.
It makes funny noises. Most of the time it sounds like im hungry but im really not.
And it hurts when im upset. like when me and my boyfriend were fighting it started to hurt really bad, like to the point were i cried about it.
And smells have been really strong, like even if its just some ones soap that they used for washing there hands and stuff it normally smells really strong. it makes me feel like im going to be sick.
if it helps any im only on birth control and every now and then i take a nexium.
What could be wrong with me? Should I see a doctor?
thanx in advance (link)
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In short I would advise you to go and see a doctor just to rule out pregnancy and/or urine infection. You may just have urinary tract infection that is causing a tummy ache, but I am not a doctor and cannot tell you for sure. Put your mind at rest and make an appointment.
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this winter break i really want to go to canada with my friend and her older brother and his friends. we would all stay in a condo and go skiing and just like have fun and stuff...but i don't think my parents will let me because they're soo strict. any ways to help me convince them to let me go?
oh and i'm almost 17/f and so is my friend. her brother and his friends are like 19ish and in college if you needed that info.
thanks (link)
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Your real age will count against you. However, the best advice I can offer is for you all to meet together with everyones parents. That way your parents will have the chance to discuss rules and safety should they consider letting you go. They will also be able to assess whether or not the lads you will be going with are suitable. It will really all depend on how reliable you are and how honest and truthful you have been in the past.
If you do manage to persuade your parents, have a great holiday.
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one of my bffs grandpa died. his grandpa was the only person he could really trust. i know how it is because i cant trust anybody because i only wanted my grandpa and he died. and my bff cried his eyes out on the bus. ive never seen him cry before. he left in the middle of school to go across the country to his grandpas funeral. my family got a big thing of flowers for him to be givin to them at the funeral home. i just dont know what to do. i dont want him to end up like me. i lost all i could ever trust and now he did and when i did i went straight downhill. cutting depression i changed my friends and clothes and music. he cant stand when i dress like that but hes ok with it. on the bus he would only talk to me and our friend. we talked the whole time. but i made him happier. i just cant stand it hes all ive been thinking of for the past week and i havent heard from him or his family. im worried and when he gets back i dont know. i dont want him to end up like me. were just like eachother but our taste in clothes music and people are just the oppasite but we dont build trust easily to anyone and ive known him my whole life. ive been crying about this and hes all i think about. i dont know what to do. (link)
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Your friend will be feeling lost and lonely following the death of his grandpa. You know exactly how he feels and he will know that he can come to you for understanding.
Write him a simple letter offering to be there for him whether he wants to talk or just sit in silence. It will take a little time to come to terms with his grief, but just like you he will move on. It may well do both of you some good to go to a bereavement counsellor if it would help. (Your school may be able to arrange it for you).
A little time and a lot of understanding will go a long, long way in helping him through this. It will also help you because you have been there before.
I wish you both peace of mind for the future. Good luck.
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Hi There,
Please help me! I am in my 20's, a female, and sexually active. I have a problem that may be normal or not, but I need to know.
There is a flab of skin/line of skin growing from my vagina to my anus. It connects them and goes up inside my butt. It's not big, but I think its gotten bigger. I am terrified to go to a doctor. How would I approach them with this? What is it and is it bad? What is it caused from? Any websites with pix I could check out to see if it's the same?
I do not have anal sex, but several years ago...it was forced upon me. Could it be from that? I have had it for a while. I don't peep down there often, but happen to notice it today. OMGosh...I'm so scared and don't know what to do!! (link)
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It is really in your best interests to go and see a female doctor. Please don't be embarrassed by it because they see all sorts of things several times a day. It is their job and over the very many years of training they do, they will have come into contact with hundreds, if not thousands of private areas. Until you have spoken to a professional you will not have peace of mind. All the best.
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sometimes when my boyfriend and I talk on the phone he wants me to talk sexy or dirty to him. Is that normal? I did it once or twice but i hate doing it because i don't know what to say or how to start off or anything. WHY DOES HE DO THIS? he told me that him and his friend called one of those hotlines and it was funny but im not a sex hotline. I want to make him happy but like this?? PLus he doesnt do it for me! So why should I?! and let's say i do "talk dirty" what do i say?? (link)
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He shouldn't be asking you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Tell him that you do not want to do this and he should understand why. Your boyfriend and his mate are just wasting money calling hotlines and the 'girls' (picture a middle-aged mum feeding her youngster in her slippers whilst on the phone scenario - no offence to anyone who does this for a living) are being paid to talk dirty and to keep the guys on the line for as long as possible.
If you do want to do this for him, then he should reciprocate in kind for you. Stick to what makes you happy and don't give in to any pressure or blackmail. All the best.
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ok i moved out of my moms house and in with my aunt and unkle things are usually ook when my unkles gone but when hes around my aunt and unkle feed off eachother and theres alot of tenssion ontop of that they dont give me alot of freedom like today i asked to go down the street to my cousins house and because i was sick 3 weeks ago they said no! so should i move back in with my mom who lets me do whatever i want and get stuck with the house work and takin care of my bratty lil sis and my addorible kid brother or stay with my aunt and unkle and deal with the unfairness and rediculess rules and chore list??? HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!! (link)
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My advice is take a piece of paper and write down all the things you like about living at home and then all the things you don't like. Then do the same about living with your Aunt and Uncle.
If the good things outweigh the bad living with your own family then stay there. If, on the other hand, you learn that living with your Aunt and Uncle come out on top stay there.
Only you can decide in the long run where you feel more comfortable and only you can make this decision. Base it on facts and you will get a better outcome.
Decide also whether it would be more beneficial to your siblings to stay at home too.
You can make up your own rules to stick to if you decide to live with your Mum. You don't have to do whatever you please all the time. You will be an adult in two years time and will be totally in control of your own life. Good luck.
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How can I comfort others with just touch? I have a gentle touch, but I want there to be warmth in it.
ie. hand on shoulder to ask how someone's doing.
This is not a sexual question...just to clear things up. (link)
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Sometimes just a small touch on the shoulder is enough to convey a lot of feelings. Sometimes if it is accompanied by a slight smile and warmth in the eyes, that helps too. Just the fact that you are there with the person who needs comforting is all that is necessary occasionally.
You need to judge each situation and person individually, taking into account how well you know them too. Family members and close friends probably appreciate a hug and a few choice words, whereas friends and acquaintances may only need a slight touch on the hand.
A warm look can convey a million words and emotions and just knowing you care can really help. Whatever life throws at someone, knowing they have a friend they can rely on in the good and bads time is the absolute best thing ever. You sound a really great person to me and I wish you all the very best life has for you.
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My parents are divorced, but still have the same ideas on alot of stuff. I am white. I have blonde hair and blue eyes. My parents both say that i can not like(have a crush on), date, or marry anyone who is Black, "Mexican"(I tell them all the time "HISPANIC"), Chinese, or Mixed. The thing is, I like ALOT of people! About half of which are not white. Its not because I like other colors, I just happen to like these people. my parents say they will disown me if i ever marry someone not white. The boy I am crazy about is Hispanic. I have a lot of different colored friends. So racism realy offends me. But whenever i mention this, they get mad. What can I do! (link)
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I think you will have to agree to disagree on this subject for the moment. Many people are prejudiced and it is up to people like you to try and educate them. Sadly, if your parents are that prejudiced then there is not a lot you can do for them. They will learn to accept any partner you choose if they want to be involved in your life. However, you are still very young at the moment and maybe with time they will change their minds. If you find a partner that is not of their liking because of colour, they are the ones that will lose out on any future grandchildren and I don't think they could be that hard-hearted.
The only time I feel that you should respect their wishes on the subject of unsuitable partners is if they are concerned about your welfare and safety (regardless of creed or colour).
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Okay there is this guy on Drama (Drama Club) and (we'll call him Steve.) Steve is just one of those people who can't keep his mouth shut. He always makes dirty comments. Usually I just tune him out but over time it's gotten worse. It's gotten worse because now he always wants to hug me and he makes dirty comments about me. (ew)
Well I am one of those innocent girls. I don't swear, make dirty remarks...that kinda stuff. So from a friend of mine I heard that in English he talks about me. Steve says how "cute & innocent" I am and well....how he wants to take my "innocence".
If that isn't enough, last year i heard a rumor that he apparently raped his step-sister. He acts so pervertedly sick that i kinda wouldn't doubt it. So now I am actually afraid he'll try to do something to me....
I don't want to quit Drama because I love it and have made it a personal goal to attend all 4 yrs of it. So...what do I do? (link)
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I really think that you should get an adult involved in all this. Perhaps your Dad/Mum/Drama teacher could have a quiet word in his ear about leaving you alone. He is getting a kick out of making to you feel uncomfortable and he should not be getting away with it. The only way to stop him is to have someone in authority confront him. Don't be scared of involving your parents in this because they will want to protect you.
You are doing nothing wrong and I agree that you must continue with your drama group. He is the one that should leave if necessary. Please don't let him get away with this any longer.
Tell him to grow up and leave you alone and that you have told your parents/teacher what is going on.
If he does continue with this harassment, please go to the police and they should deal with it. Good luck.
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how do you locate the clitorus? (link)
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Here is a website for you to look at:
www.the-clitoris.com
Have a look through - it's quite comprehensive and should answer your question.
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so my guy friend (older than me, I'm 15) asked me to show him pictures. I did. He asked for more, and I showed him more but told him they were "bad"...and he didn't believe me and thought I was exaggerating about them being bad. But they really were. And he was bothering me ...trying to make me upload them. And so I got annoyed, didnt care anymore, and showed it to him (it's a personal pic). And now, he's all like Omg I'm so sorry I shouldn't have asked you...I feel so embarrassed..
He SHOULD.
But should I? I only did it because I was sooooooo annoyed.
did I do the right thing? (link)
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In my opinion, no you should not have shown him the picture if you felt it would harm you in some way regardless of how annoyed you got.
However, you did and now you are both feeling embarrassed about it. He has apologised to you and hopefully he will never mention it again. You should learn from this and if you say no, make sure you stick to it. I don't feel that you should continue to be embarrassed by this because it is already yesterdays news. Keep these pictures, and any future ones taken, somewhere safe away from prying eyes and never, ever let them be used on the internet. All the best.
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Okay there is this guy I like. Im 20 and he is 26. He is over at my house all the time, and we will be sitting in the backyard and he will pick up a handful of rocks and playfully throw them at me. Or I will get a text from a friend and he will text me (when he is like 2 feet away) and he will be like "is this the only way you will pay attention to me? I’m an attention whore" or "I’m shy around you. I have a hard time talking to you, you make me blush" Or when he leaves he sometimes will be like "don’t miss me...I know you do when I’m gone". He always stares at me and when he talks to me he is always looking me in the eyes. I will be sitting on the couch and he will sit right next to me to where our legs will almost be touching, and if they are, he doesn’t move his leg. A family friend that had never seen or heard of him before, asked me if he likes me because she seen the way he was looking at me and she said she’s positive he likes me. Do you think he likes me? Thank You to All Who Answer! (link)
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He is definitely giving off all the right signals. It seems that he just can't quite make himself ask you out. Give him a little nudge in the right direction if you want to date him. For example, brush his leg with yours or look too long into his eyes. Even bolder, try kissing him. Good luck.
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A friend of mine, R, has very poor health. She does not sweat, is very thin, and her hair does not have the normal luster. She eats as far as I can see, but wears a size 0 despite her medium-sized frame. She almost never comes to school for the full week, missing so much. She gets mono, the flu, and frequently stays home for things like a sore neck or fatigue. I asked her if she gets shots and she said no. (Apparently because her mother has gotten the flu a week after the immunization.) Her mother lets her stay home for any number of reasons despite her abscence during long-term sicknesses. (She confided in me that her mother was on marijuana.) We come from a small, docile town with farms and "Village Centers" so it's not like we're in the ghetto. I want her to be healthy, but she is stubborn to admit that anything is wrong with her, especially her ADD, which is obvious she has, though denies it at every accuse. She eats junk food and almost no vegetables or fruits, even when we offer them to her. She spends her extra time playing Sims, experimenting with clothes and makeup, and will not try to study. I really want her to be healthy and have a decent education, but she seems like she's not trying. It's really taking a toll on me because she thinks that she is smart and gets angry when not put on Honor Roll or AP classes, even though she refuses to pay attention, study, or do homework. What should I do? I feel like I need to support her, but she thinks that she does not have anything that she needs support with. (link)
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Unfortunately, your friend will not get any better until she decides to for herself. Nothing you say or do will change her mind and that is not really your problem to deal with. I know you will say that as a good friend you should help, but you can only do that if she asks.
The best advice I can give is you should confide in someone at your school, ie Educational Welfare Officer, Head of Year or your Form Teacher. They will then be able to investigate her home life and make any decisions based upon their findings. The school will obviously have any records of absence and failures in her school work and they are the ones to take this further.
Keep on trying to support her, but if you are rejected please don't take it too personally.
All the best.
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Damn i dont know what my purpose in life is anymore!
im having it so bad right now i just want to die.
Ma homeboy dandy just died about 3 weeks ago and then his lady wich was my homegurl killed herself beiing 2 months pregnant and her mom killed herself. about 2 months ago a guy i grew up with died too & last year i lost 5 homies all at the same time:'[..it feels like everybody is leaving this world and im starting to stay all alone...apart from this my parents are being really bad to me and they always find fault in me...then,my boyfriend julio the guy that ive loved for the longest lied to me by saying he was a virgin and then turns out he hasent called cause his x is claiming him as her baby daddy and shes 2 months pregnat when were about 2 turn 3 months so wtf how does that work out?!?! its not even the fact that he lied its the fact that he'd rather tell my cousin about it than being straight forward with me you get?!://
THEN!,my brother dont talk 2 me anymore because he dosent like my boyfriend...,then my best friend is moving across da world ,im failing every class and excuse me 2 say FUCK i dont know what to do!! i feel like my whole world is crashing down and theres no other way in stopping it than just getting off this cracked out to be place we call the world! i feel like theres no purpose in life like everything leaves sooner or later so what's the point in continuing to suffer if someday im going to die for no reason just like every single other one of my angels from the heavens above[[R.I.P.]]
i cant take it no more i havent ate in 3 days and i hardly speak to anyone pls dont tell me 2 enjoy my life because im barely 15 yrs young because theres other kids who barely got to the age of 14 and theyre already dead and they never got to enjoy their life! i feel like giving up serio it feels like im a bother at home and a bother at school and if im not welcome in any of these places where the hell do i go?
stay in the streets trynna ball??!:/ damn how do i let go of all this pain its killing me emotionally and physically I CANT TAKE IT anymore!
i was so close to suicide about a year ago because nothing seemed right but things are even worser now...omg then today i fell into temptation of getting blazzed with my homies and i took about 3 hits from my homeboys blunt and inhaled the smoke from his mouth...i had never done this sh** but it feels like its not even worth staying away from weed & drugs no more...i wanna get so high and never come back to reality. this question has random ass things but thats whats going on in my head and sorry if ya dont get it but if you do help me!!! im going crazy without having anywhere 2 run and hide;// (link)
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Oh my God you have been through an absolutely awful time. No wonder you feel suicidal. If it helps at all, I am sending you all the good feelings that I can for you. You really need to go and seek professional help with all of this stuff. Please speak to your school counsellor and have them arrange for you to see someone urgently.
It may not seem like it at the moment, but you do have a lot to live for. You are at a stage in your life where you do not feel in control of your own destiny. Your hormones are raging and you are having to deal with so much, so young.
Take one thing at a time and deal with that as best you can. Stay away from the drugs and drink because that will only mess you up further.
Dealing with such a lot of deaths at a young age is heartbreaking and you must be made of stronger stuff than you think. You have taken the first step in acknowledging that you need help with everything. Well done.
Your parents may not know what is really going on for you and you have to let them know. Either tell them face-to-face or write it all down in a letter and give it to them. Tell them exactly how you are feeling if possible and tell them you are going to seek help.
You can and will go on because there are a great many things that you can achieve if you want to. You could use your experiences to become a counsellor yourself. You could go into the caring profession somehow, knowing what you do about the frailty of life. Use everything that you are going through positively and you will become stronger and happier again.
I wish you all the very best and I hope that one day you will look back and say yes I made it, now I can help others going through this too.
Good luck.
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How long does it take for alcohol to start messing with your brain? (link)
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In someone who has never drunk alcohol before, almost immediately depending on the strength of it. The more alcohol taken, the worse the effect. If you are talking brain-damage, sustained alcohol abuse over a length of time will start producing paranoia and depression. You will also start to suffer from liver damage. Hope this answers your question.
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me and my boyfriend had sex last night. we used 3 kinds of protection. the problem is is that his parents found out. they want ot talk to mine. but now they if they dont talk to my parents then they at least want to talk to me. but his stepdad is a real dick, and so he might tell. i dont know how my will react. me and my boyfriend have been going out for more then a year.
they know that we probably wil sooner or later
im just scared. and afraid/
what should i do? (link)
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If you are both over the legal age, then you have a right to a private life. However, if you are under that age your parents have a right to be worried for you. You are both being sensible in using contraception and if you are confronted by your parents you need to point this out. From a parents point of view, it is always worrying when your child begins having sex because of all that it entails (STDs, pregnancy, lack of maturity to deal with any consequences), so please listen to what they have to say. It may be that your boyfriends parents were just embarrassed about finding out that their son was growing up. I hope it goes well with you both. Take care.
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16/f
i know this kid who's really sweet. he's skater and he smokes cigarettes and pot and he drinks like every weekend. he's really nice to me and makes an effort to talk to me even if it's about something stupid. for example, if he was absent he'll ask me what we did in class even though i know he doesn't care what we did. he says he's going to try to stop smoking pot but he hasn't done it yet. personally i don't like smokers. i don't want to "kiss an ashtray" but he is really sweet and i heard he might like me from a friend of his. so do i make an effort and forget about the bad things and just have a relationship with him or is it just too many bad things to ignore? (link)
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I agree that I wouldn't kiss an ashtray either. Perhaps he might be willing to stop smoking altogether in exchange for a kiss someday? As for the drinking, if he doesn't slow down or stop, he will suffer eventually. If you really would like a relationship with him, do some research into alcoholism and give it to him to read through before going out with him.
However, just a word of warning, please take things very slowly and leave at the first sign of trouble if you do go out with him. Good luck.
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Is it possible for a female to tighten herself down there?Is there an exercise? (link)
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Yes it is possible using an exercise for the pelvic floor muscles.
Here are two sites to look at:
www.club-cleo.com for exercises
and
www.pelvic-toners.co.uk to buy a pelvic toner which you can use to tighten up your muscles.
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I'm a sophomore girl..
Okay, so there's this nerdy guy that sits in front of me. (the definition of NERD, I swear) and he's sooo nice. But he doesn't shut up! He just talks and talks and talks when nobody's listening he continues on talking about how he cracked the computer system at our school or something and nobody cares...and w/e..He has dandruff that flies off and is VERY visible on his head, he wears glasses (nothing against that, of course) and has a lot of acne. His voice is annoying and monotonous(sp?). And when he has no one else to talk to (usually) he just talks to ME! And he says annoying, uninteresting things about computers that I could care less about. How do I politely show him I'm uninterested? Sometimes he gets me in trouble with the teacher for talking!
he's really nice and I don't wanna be mean :(! (link)
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He sounds like very insecure person who needs to keep on talking to stop himself feeling, probably, 'insignificant'. He obviously feels very nervous in your company and talking helps him feel able to cover it up. I can understand how annoying that can be especially if he is getting you into trouble as well. If you can talk to him without losing your temper you need to explain to him that you have to concentrate on your lessons and will not be answering him back. However, do give him a little bit of your attention occasionally and suggest he finds other people to talk to also.
If he persists regardless, I think that you may just have to start blanking him (cruel I know), because your school work is extremely important too. Good luck.
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their is this boy shane he is really cuite
and i like him how
can i tell if he likes me
singend
confused (link)
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If he is giving off signals like smiling in reply to your smiles, or wanting to be around you, then it is possible that he likes you too. If you want to go out with him then try getting a bit more friendly and test out the waters by asking if he has seen the latest movie or did he fancy going for a coffee sometime. If he is keen to do so then suggest going together. However, he may not be looking for a girlfriend right now, so the best thing to do is to stay friends. Hope this helps and if I can help more please ask. Good luck.
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