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nothing is worth it no more!
Damn i dont know what my purpose in life is anymore!
im having it so bad right now i just want to die.
Ma homeboy dandy just died about 3 weeks ago and then his lady wich was my homegurl killed herself beiing 2 months pregnant and her mom killed herself. about 2 months ago a guy i grew up with died too & last year i lost 5 homies all at the same time:'[..it feels like everybody is leaving this world and im starting to stay all alone...apart from this my parents are being really bad to me and they always find fault in me...then,my boyfriend julio the guy that ive loved for the longest lied to me by saying he was a virgin and then turns out he hasent called cause his x is claiming him as her baby daddy and shes 2 months pregnat when were about 2 turn 3 months so wtf how does that work out?!?! its not even the fact that he lied its the fact that he'd rather tell my cousin about it than being straight forward with me you get?!://
THEN!,my brother dont talk 2 me anymore because he dosent like my boyfriend...,then my best friend is moving across da world ,im failing every class and excuse me 2 say FUCK i dont know what to do!! i feel like my whole world is crashing down and theres no other way in stopping it than just getting off this cracked out to be place we call the world! i feel like theres no purpose in life like everything leaves sooner or later so what's the point in continuing to suffer if someday im going to die for no reason just like every single other one of my angels from the heavens above[[R.I.P.]]
i cant take it no more i havent ate in 3 days and i hardly speak to anyone pls dont tell me 2 enjoy my life because im barely 15 yrs young because theres other kids who barely got to the age of 14 and theyre already dead and they never got to enjoy their life! i feel like giving up serio it feels like im a bother at home and a bother at school and if im not welcome in any of these places where the hell do i go?
stay in the streets trynna ball??!:/ damn how do i let go of all this pain its killing me emotionally and physically I CANT TAKE IT anymore!
i was so close to suicide about a year ago because nothing seemed right but things are even worser now...omg then today i fell into temptation of getting blazzed with my homies and i took about 3 hits from my homeboys blunt and inhaled the smoke from his mouth...i had never done this sh** but it feels like its not even worth staying away from weed & drugs no more...i wanna get so high and never come back to reality. this question has random ass things but thats whats going on in my head and sorry if ya dont get it but if you do help me!!! im going crazy without having anywhere 2 run and hide;//
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Hi.
I've been there before. actually if it wasn't for a certain accident and a unexpected friend I would be dead and recorded as a suicidal. No joke. I know exactly how you feel. I can tell you that after my attempted suicide i did drugs. I partied and well obviously my grades went down so all he scholarships and programs that could have lifted me out were discarded. Eventually it hit me hard. I was surrounded by friends. I just didn't want to be their friend. Tears were passed at graduation when I wasn't going to graduate with my class. People laughed at me, and teachers gave me numbers to cyciatrists. I felt so small. I felt like isn't this the kind of story they show in all those cry boo hoo teen movies??? yes and yet nobody seemed to care about me and my story. It would be a lie to tell you that after graduation i was instantly changed. I went into depression and did some drugs then I got myself into Jail. happy 18th birthday to me. I woke up and i realized i still had life. I worked harder than anyone in Senior year and i just ran and ran each day and sweat out all my life tears and old blood. Or atleast thats what it felt like. detoxing was hell. of course you know about that. But now i'm enrolled in scholarship programs agin and pray for me everyone that I graduate this year. If you want to talkk it helps to tell everything to someone who doesnt know yu and wont tell anyone.
ill message you my IM screename and email if you just want to talk. I'm not offering cyiatrist help. I'm offering a friend.
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Oh my God you have been through an absolutely awful time. No wonder you feel suicidal. If it helps at all, I am sending you all the good feelings that I can for you. You really need to go and seek professional help with all of this stuff. Please speak to your school counsellor and have them arrange for you to see someone urgently.
It may not seem like it at the moment, but you do have a lot to live for. You are at a stage in your life where you do not feel in control of your own destiny. Your hormones are raging and you are having to deal with so much, so young.
Take one thing at a time and deal with that as best you can. Stay away from the drugs and drink because that will only mess you up further.
Dealing with such a lot of deaths at a young age is heartbreaking and you must be made of stronger stuff than you think. You have taken the first step in acknowledging that you need help with everything. Well done.
Your parents may not know what is really going on for you and you have to let them know. Either tell them face-to-face or write it all down in a letter and give it to them. Tell them exactly how you are feeling if possible and tell them you are going to seek help.
You can and will go on because there are a great many things that you can achieve if you want to. You could use your experiences to become a counsellor yourself. You could go into the caring profession somehow, knowing what you do about the frailty of life. Use everything that you are going through positively and you will become stronger and happier again.
I wish you all the very best and I hope that one day you will look back and say yes I made it, now I can help others going through this too.
Good luck.
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