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feelin almost suicidal.
F/15
Every since the begining of this school year I've been feeling really depressed. There are a lot of different reasons why. First of all, I dont have many friends. I have one close friend who I hang out with everyday, but sometimes she blows me off, which is understandable, to hang out with other people, and I wonder the halls alone, feeling like an idiot, wishing I were at home. I live in a small town and go to a small school so I already know everybody and its hard to make new friends when you're a sophmore in high school and everybody is separated by "levels of coolness".
Last year, life was great. I was a freshmen and I was dating a junior, who I fell for. We broke up after about 4 months and we pretty much lost all contact. Thats what hit me the hardest. I still love him but hes in love with his new girlfriend. I keep thinkin that I'll never find another guy because I've been single for months and everyday I tell myself things will get better but they never do.
I hate waking up everyday knowing that it will just be another sad, pathetic repeat of what happened the day before. I want out of this life. I want to drop out of school. Or move. Or die. I dont care anymore. Ive never felt like this before and Im really starting to scare myself. I keep thinking about killing myself. I've thought about it a couple times before but I always knew in the back of my mind that I would never do it. Now im not so sure.
Usually I would talk to someone about how im feeling to try to work things out but i have nobody to talk to. asking random people for advice on the internet is pointless too....i dont even know why im doing it. I just want to die. I want to stop hurting inside. there are so many other things going on in my life that i cant even explain on here because I dont want to tell anybody. I hate it so much.
please..........does anybody have any good advice. nothing like "try to make more friends" or "you'll get a new boyfriend, just put yourself out there" i need to hear something real.
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Look.. we all go through this in life we all have our moments of sadness and agony but later on in life we get used to everything and know wht we are doing,and we just look back at this and start laughin.. anyway i kno this is so freaken hard for you to go through and you might not want to hear this but ima show you one way on how to get friends honeslty the way i make friends i just talk, i let it out like if im sitting next to somone i probably would compliment them on thier shoes or thier hair like wow i love your hair!! or i like your bracelet try to be social and smile.
Look,the reason why you dont have a boyfriend.. its because..Your not social.. you should take these steps one by one for example FIRST work on talking to people try to talk to them that way youll have a friend, that friend would probably have other friends,which will have other friends which will get to know you! thats why youll be known around your small school or maybe even half of your school.. ok when your known or something guys will probably know you already,Probably one of them will crush on you and so on so forth so dont take everything like your gonna die!! take it step by step! and that will help you to go on with our life...
-hope i helped man
tell me how it goes =]]
-icemiliciousemilu!
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hun i feel like that all the time im in school or on the bus and i get called squints and a sped and it makes xme want to do bad thing s but i learned that i want to live on earth so im tellin you this dont get mad but dont even talk with the crush you went out with. i dont have friends or a boyfriend and i am sad but life is short live the fullness hoped i help and dont consider suicide that is just a scary subject to even talk about you dont want to die. trust me its going to get better hopes i helped
FEEL BETTER
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I used to live like that, hating day after day. I didn't have many friends, and it felt really horrible, just standing there or wandering the halls to kill time. I've felt suicidal many times before, and it's such a horrible feeling, to be unloved or unwanted. I still struggle with friends today, but things have gotten better
If you want to talk just ask, I've been through a lot lately. Stuff that movies are made of, and it's still troubling me. Family, friends, school, relationships, they're always nagging at me. I need some one to talk to also, maybe we can help each other out?
my myspace is myspace.com/kylega, or you can ask me for my e-mail on feedback, or inbox. I'd be more than glad to help you out.
I'm a 16 year old sophomore, I can cope, or at least try with many things your going through.
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I really feel for you in your situation. I can't even tell you how much I want to be your friend and go to your school so you won't have to feel the way you do.
Honestly, your feelings and the way you are living is so important. And you really need to pour your heart out to someone who will listen and help you feel better. Either it can be this close friend of yours, or maybe your parents or a counselor or anyone you trust.
Keeping everything a secret hurts. Especially if it's a very big secret that has so much pain. You really need to open up to someone and truly get some help at feeling like yourself again. Once you start to open up, you'll realize that people really do care about you more than you know.
You don't actually have to come out and tell them you feel like killing yourself. You just have to say that you are terribly depressed and you feel like your life isn't worthy at this point.
As for this guy, you know, it hurts very much to have to move on. And I never really get all that personal in my advice, but I'm moving on from someone too, and it hurts very deep. So I absolutely know where you're coming from.
You have a lot on your plate to deal with. School, friends, and a break-up that still hurts. You should slow down and manage everything one at a time. But not by yourself. If you try tackling everything at once, you'll feel overwhelmed.
If anything, you should start with yourself. Talk to someone and take action with your feelings.
The reason why you still hurt over this guy is because you haven't had enough of a social life to get caught up in other things. So, you should really open up to this close friend also and try to hang out with her friends too. It might seem weird, but honestly it would probably work.
If you ever need anymore advice, I'm always checking my column everyday. So please don't hesitate to contact me:)
-TheTeenGirl
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I know what it feels like to have nobody that listens, and I've been in some very bad situations myself.
Breaking up with someone you love, hurts! More than anything, and I know that, and I will not try and change your mind about that. But, until you decide that "YOU" are going to move on, it's going to keep dragging you down. I know you are barely hanging on to what you have left, but you have to focus on what you do have. You do have that one great friend, and you do have a life, it's just not where you want it to be right now. Either is mine, and it sucks, but I refuse to give up. You only have one life, and ONLY YOU can change things. Every time I think my life is terrible, and I feel there is no reason to live, I remember that I am not the only one. I do not have it as bad as some. Life is to short for you to want to throw it away, trust me.
I may be a stranger on the Internet, but I am more than willing to help you. If you ever need someone to talk to, write me, I will respond. Sometimes your last resort can be the best option you have. Just take it one step at a time, have goals, and don't let the things in your "Past" drag you down OK!
I do hope that I helped you, and please don't hesitate to write if you want to ok.
Kristin
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