Sweet_LiL_Angel's advice column

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Q: As everyone knows our economy is going down the drain and neither candidates proposed an actual "I'm going to do this to fix this" plan.

In addition my dad's company is in high debt and about to close permanently. In addition to that, there is going to be a mass layoff on Oct. 17th. Why don't we just throw in the facts that my sister is going around for Med school interviews (which costs money since they're all out of state), I still have to go to college, my mom probably can't get a good job (didn't have a chance to go to college and has to pick me up by 4PM everyday after school), I can't drive, I can't work (I have activities everyday after school that I can't get out of). As you can see, we're all incredibly stressed out about the whole financial crisis situation x 10.

I don't really know what I'm asking. I guess I'm asking for any kind of advice?

Thanks
16/f

The economy is hitting everyone pretty hard. i moved to missouri from ohio in june. I cant afford to go back and visit. i work all the time and scaredd to sign up for college because i know i wont be able to afford it. i work to support my son. it feels like every penny i get goes towards him. which is pretty true and i am working to move out. it seems impossible. take a deep breath and think of some ides to help your family. and your sister going to meds school is a good thing. when she graduates out of college she will have a good career to support the family which she has. as for your dads company it may be able to re open once the economy gets better.. i know they talk about it getting better and doesnt seem likely but we all need to prey.

Q: To make a long story short: I've been going back and forth with this guy who REALLY likes me because I can't seem to decide if I like him. I told him I didn't - but then the second he started getting over me I felt heartbroken, cried, was crazy jealous over any girl he talked to, and then kissed him to make him like me again.

It sounds manipulative, like I don't like him but don't want him to get over me.. but I think I do like him. Quite a lot actually.

Now he asked me to decide wether I want to be with him, because he needs to know..

Is there a good excuse that would allow us to be in a secret relationship, so we could sneak around (which is something I really enjoy haha) and keep it on the down low?

It can't involve parents because I'm in college far away from them. He thinks the reason I can't decide if I want to be with him is because he'd be my first boyfriend (which is true, I've never had one before).

Help?

dont keep a relationship on the down low i could see middle school kids and stuff doing that. but your in college and im sure he is sick of the games but he cares about you this much to stick around he must like you alot why not go for it?

Q: There's a guy that I've liked for awhile... ever since like 7th grade actually, and I'm a junior now. Well, since we've been in high school, he and I have gotten closer, mostly because we're in the same group of friends now because his friend asked me out last year but we broke up after three months (it was a happy ending though :)) So I'm curious, would it be a bad thing for me to try and start something with the guy I like because he's so close with my ex?

if you and your ex are good friends i dont see a problem with it. why dont you ask your ex if hed mind or anything? other wise i would say go for it.

Q: Okay, I am thirteen and I am a girl. So for Halloween this year I want to have a really cute costume because this is the first year I am going to a party with boys. I want a cute costume, but I don't want to look trashy. Any ideas?

i work at walmart and they had some cute costumes for like your age a little trashy but throw some leggings under them and its look good.

Q: i am 16 female and think i have found the right person to loose my virginity to but i am quite scared about it! Could you possible do it wrong or what if it hurts ect? The guy is a virgin aswell but seems to know exsactly what he is doing? are there any tips or anything please?

really think about what you are doing, because who i lost mine to i wish i could take it back. its a special gift that you want to give to the one you love. maybe even the one you marry. but it does hurt a some but it will start to feel good. j ust relax ask him to take it slow.

Q: my parents arer constantly lectruing me all the time which casues me to swear and be reallr yrude and then they wil go on even more and say how i dont apprieciate anything and my dad says he tells everyone what im like its really getting to me now are argue with my parents every day without fail i really cant stand it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

arguing happens with in all families it doesnt matter whom you are.. but your parents are your parents you need to respect them they. i still tell me dad yes sir and no sir. my mother is a different story havent talked to her in months. but give them respect and they will sure give it to you.

Q: I mean, really, why should I have a "good" education anyway?

What will my education get me in the long run?

I was talking to my best friend about dropping out of high school. I know you're legally allowed to drop out when you turn 16 in the United States. I feel that if I drop out of school then I won't be missing too much, but she says that a high school drop-out isn't going to make it in the real world and that high school prepares us for that. High school just seems to be full of drama, cliques, Hollister and Abercrombie whores, popularity contests, sex, and drugs. It's like learning isn't even a concept in high school anymore anyway! What would I be missing out on?

I use to think about going to college but it's so expensive. Is college really worth it anyway? I know people keep saying that it's good to have a decent education, but why in the world is it so good? Nobody has ever explained that to me.

Why is a good education important to have?

Please, someone, explain!

Yes high school is drama and stuff, but you have to ignore that. it's okay to want to fit in but focusing on your school work is much more important for example my freshman year i was the whole party fighting and stuff girl, (thats how i ended up pregnant), home school 10th grade year well yeah that sucks i needed teached infront of me. so my eleventh grade year i took 17 classes in one year on the computer at a tech school. and graduated a year early. there was even teachers there to help. i wish i could go back and work on a higher gpa. you can hardly even get a job any more with out a high school diploma.. and i am going to college to become a social worker. you cant have any type of good job with out going to college to even take 2 years and get your general studies done. good luck.

Q: What are you seriously going to do with them? I mean, they say one thing, but do the other.

Anyways, I suppose I should start from the beginning. My names Megan, and I've been completely Anti-love for the past few months, due to the final realization that it's not really something I'm good at. I have problems staying interested in one guy, and it drives me competely nuts. And when I actually care, they don't.

So for the past few weeks I've been having all these mixed feelings about this one guy. He's a real sweety. But sometimes I think he's just saying all these cute corny lines just because he can, not because he means it. It drives me nuts, although I should just trust him and believe that he does care. But I don't know.. I just opened up my heart again, after I thought I couldn't care again.

Should I give him a try..? Or what? x-x

it doesn't hurt to give it try but if your looking for love auch as i was i gave up. i mean i talked to guys and wanted to love them but it didnt feel right. and than i meet this guy and its like we have a connection we can be our selfs around each other and everything hes perfect. you will know when you find love it will just hit you.

Q: josh 17 me 15

Ok so i have this BF we will call him Josh. Well He asked me to home coming like 5 mins to home coming because his date ditched him for his friend.We will call her Jess. He was going to ask her out but changed his mind because she went after his friend named Zach. Well Josh asked me out at home coming and I told him yes.its been about a week and Zach and some of his other friend said that josh might dump me soon because thats how he is. I stoped worring about that because he dosnt seem like he will. Well Jess found out we were dating. She has 2 BF's and is still going after Zach. Well now she is going after Josh and I am afraid he will dump me for jess. Today she confrunted me about it and I almost punched her because she said she wouldnt stop till she got Josh. I dont knwo what to do. I mean he thinks she is stupid now but i dont know if he still likes her and I cant ask cause its been a week. i have liked him for a really long time so I am already head over heels. What do I do?

If he decides he want's to be with a girl that choose his friend over him than he isnt worth your time anyways. you can't let it get to you. you never know he is probaly thinking in his head that "jess" is dumb or something. he may be really really happy with you.

Q: I am a sophomore girl in one of the most elite high schools in the nation. Call me shallow but i am one of the "in" crowd too. im not cpnceited, but i will admit a great deal of my friends are. I'm always feeling pressured by what everyone expects of me to be. Since i am one of the more well known kids literally im supposed to be a size 0, have had sex a bajillion times, never to lose my cool, and basically just be perfect. Here's the main issues: My natural body is a size 6, i know not huge but not a 0, so i have forced myself to throw up only a few times. I've never made it past first base, though i've been there MANY times. My family is so messed up: beyond normal dysfunction. My brother is gay and proud, and he got caught at the high school two years ago with drugs before being sent to rehab (THE ONLY STUDENT TO EVER BE SENT TO REHAB IN THE PAST 15 YEARS). I am always worried that someone at school will pair me with him and then i'd be ostracized. My parents have been divorced since i was a little under a year old and my mom works 16 hour days so i never see her or my stepdad, who is also a doctor. I mean I've got money, thats not the problem. The problem is i feel like im trapped in a small barred box and everyone is poking me and trying to get me to do tricks for them. I feel trapped. Its like i'm screaming in a crowded room but no one can here me. On the outside i have it all together, but on the inside? i'm losing it. Everything with me revolves around fitting in and being loved, i guess just because i never had that in my home life. And also being apart of this elite group of kids takes a toll on me to. Ive been programmed to think only certain things are beautiful and being different makes you a freak. Im always worried that as soon as i leave the group they'll talk about me because loyalty has no meaning in the inner circle. I have no doubt that half the people i hang out with would tear my rep apart if they were guaranteed my part in the "chain" Its a vicious cycle but now im stuck and i feel so alone.

Question: Anyone who's been here know how to relate and give me a good outlet?

Okay started with your brother. Who cares no offence but you can't help who you are or whom you like. You maybe losing it on the inside but from what you say it sounds like he lost it not only on the inside but on the inside. probly with how people tend to look on gays or maybe people have said something to him or dealing with you. you never now.

I got along with just about everyone by just being my self. i wasn't ugly but wasn't model type you know? who cares if your not a size 0 thats discusting.. keep being something your not and you wont get any where in life what so ever. you need to be your self and have friends who like you for you.. yeah high school is a bunch of drama but thats helping you focus on the real world. you will never meet a man of your dreams if he has to be in your social group etc.

Q: I'm a man in my mid-20's, and I've started to notice that my girlfriend of five years is very, very controlling. Like talking to a bunch of people (myself included) like she's our mother.

Now, I'm perfectly fine with a woman who can express what she wants, but how do you get her to realize that she can't control everyone, me especially, without it causing a meltdown? I mean, if this relationship goes to marriage, I need her to know that when I have a strong decision about our future, she can't just ignore me and do whatever.

i think you should just let her know how you feel. dont say things such that are insulting. let her know you love her and you know she means well. let her know if taking your relationship into marriage you thought you should talk about a few things first.

Q: so on friday i hung out with my friends at a football game and was with this kid john* so me and john* were hanging out too. and if i went somewhere he would come too. and he kept going in my pockets and taking my phone and camera. and i was freezingg. so he kept asking me if i was cold so naturally, i said yes and i got a big hugg. and that happened alott. :] so i like john* then i didnt see him before i left :[ and when i was walking out i was with my friend devin* and devin* had his arm around me but we are just friends. but i did like him before, but don't now. i dont think he likes me and in front of us was my other friend joe* and he was with me and john* before and now he sees me with devin*? so idk if joes* going to tell john* or not. and idk if john* will find out and be madd. so i have a class with him tomorrow too but its a silent study. and my friend kelly* is in all my classes so im usually waiting for her down at her locker and johns* locker is 2 over so its right theree. :]
but do you think he really likes me?
and should he be mad if he finds out about devin*?

_____* means name was changedd!

please help meeee! thanks so muchhhh!

well ask him. tell him you like him and let him no about devin and how you two are just friends

Q: so there is this student teacher in our class and i see him everyday (when i'm at school of course) and he's so attractive and has an amazing smile. i'm only 16 and he's 22 or 23. to me that's just weird. but i know i couldn't have him, because the age difference and he's technically a teacher. i don't know what it is, but i know i like older guys. they just seem to be better than some of the immature guys at my school.

he is a teacher and that's never going to happen. should i stop thinking about him? should i just not worry about it?

If a teacher gets involved with a student he could use his job.

Q: So, I'm going out with this guy and I don't really see him a lot because of our schedules at the moment but hes always saying stuff, like he misses me and he thinks about me a lot.. but he never calls or texts or anything. Another thing he does is sometimes when we're talking on aim, he'll just all of a sudden leave without saying bye or anything. Is all of this normal? Its my first relationship and idk, my friend and her boyfriend are always talking and texting all the time, but this guy dosen't seem to want to. Anyway, if anyone has any advice, let me know. Thanks :)

Guys are very different from girls. if he isnt calling or texting or anything i wouldnt think he is completely interested but wants to keep you around.. my fiance and i always make time to be together. i work odd hours like 4-11 or 2-11 ill pick him up after work and we will go lay under the stars and he will call when i drop him off making sure i got home alright.. from what you wrote he doesnt sound like he cares that much

Q: Does anyone here take Yasmin? The generic version is Ocella. It is a 28 tablets birth control. I am just wondering if anyone has any information on it from personal experience. In example, side effects, when to get your period and how heavy it will be and how long it will last generally, any problems with it.

I got information online but would like personal experiences.

i took it for a little while. i quit taking it because my periods got really messed up.. i wouldnt get my period for 4 months than randomly get it. finally after over a year i just got my period 2 months in a row for the first time so im hoping i stay regular again.

Q: me: 17
ex: 18
current bf: 21

okay, so my boyfriend and i broke up at the beginning of august. we had dated for a year and almost 8 months.
Let me explain a little about this situation. He broke up with me for no apparent reason, while i was recovering from a tonsillectomy. He just walked out. then, two days after that
he came back to my house and begged for me back. he said he needed me and loved me more than anyone in the world and all that good stuff. So we gave it another try. Then we got in a fight and i caught him in a lie and he told me that i could never deserve anyone better than him, i could never get anyone better so i told him to lose my number. So we didn't talk for a few weeks. During those few weeks i was talking to anohter guy. We went out on a date, and it amazed me how well i was treated. he was so chivalrous, so kind and polite. He pulled out my chair, offwred to buy me whatever i wanted, and it was great.

So now he's my boyfriend. And he is just amazing. And my ex and i are friends, but he is begging for me back. And he kissed me last night and said he needed me. And now he is telling me he is tired of everyone telling him everything is his fault, and that he always messes things up, so he wants to make it to where he'll never have to hear it again...meaning ending it all.

And I feel bad because i have told him before that it was his fault we broke up and i did nothing wrong, because i didnt. i literally woke up one morning after what i thought was an amazing night, to find him packing his clothes...

i dont want to hurt him, and i dont want him to hurt himself...and a huge part of me wants him back, badly. but i dont wanna lose my current boyfriend either...what should i do?

be his friend sit him down and tell him he needs to straighten his life out. it seems as if he doesnt know what he wants in his life he has plenty of time to figure that out it seems like he just needs a friend to be there for him

Q: Female
21 yrs Old

Umm... エ met this boy I've been talking to him for over 3 months now. エ was a Virgin when エ met him, we hung out had a good time and next came the sex. エ wasnt scared nor did it hurt but after we were done エ had nothing to say to him... He calls エ didn't answer エ didn't kno how to react to him. NOW he won't answer his phone wen エ call... what cud that mean? Does it mean he doesn't want to be bothered with me anymore. Did エ turn him off, what cud it be. エ think ima have a nervous breakdown エ dnt kno what エ did to make him act like that. Please give me some advice....

call him and leave a voice mail letting him know how your felt afterwards and how you feel now. i agree with the advice you have already recieved. he most likely felt rejected or you didnt like the sex or you used him for it.

Q: I don't like who I am or What ive become....2 years ago I had gotten out of a really bad physically and emotionally abusive relationship....I was engaged at 18 with the guy I had lost my virginity to and found out he had cheated on me the entire 2 years we had been together! since I was 16! He treated me like shit, and I had to move out of his apartment and back in with my mom. He told me that he had cheated on me with numerous girls and that everytime he went to a party he hooked up with someone! And he went to ALOT of parties....I asked him how many girls and he said he lost track after 20. Needless to say I got tested, but I was so hurt from what he did, I have never been the same since...I'm a bitter brutally honest person and I now live in a different city and own my own place and everything seems to be fine except that I cant trust anyone. And even worse...I feel like I turned into him. Ive been playing guys and lying to the ones that cared about me, Lets just say I haven't been faithful to a guy since him, I just assume they are doing the same thing...and even worse.. I dont feel guilty for it. Some people say OH your 20 and your young and its not like your married while others think im messed up. Its not like I want to be this way, but Ive dated 3 guys since him and cheated on all of them. And I'm talking to this guy from work now and he really likes me, but last night I hooked up with one of my exes that I just recently started hanging out with...and the funny thing is theres no future with me and him at all...he's going to leave and be active soon because he enlisted...hes dedicated like 20 years of his life to the military which is why we never worked out to begin with, but I just felt like I had to see him again...the guy from work is so nice, so sweet and ALWAYS wants to be around me...its almost...too perfect, too nice, hes great to be with emotionally, but my military ex has the whole bad boy routine going on with him, hot and cocky and it can be real hard to resist...and the truth is...I dont know what I want...Im just plain screwed up and sometimes I think Im just like my ex fiance that treated me like dirt, the one that broke me, and i dont think i ever got fixed, because I feel no pain or regret from what I put other people through....so...any comments on this situation are welcome...thanks

i semi felt that way.. let me tell you a little about me so you understand and ill tell you how i fixed it..

my son's father cheated on me with a girl i hated.. he and i broke up little bit later when my son was 6 months old i dated a guy and a lived with him for the whole time we were together (6 months) his cousin was the girl my sons father cheated on me with.. he and i broke up in dec.. febuary 2nd we "got back together" i slept with him.. i cooked and set up his birthday at a hall that night he took me and my son home kissed me good night and told me how much he loved me.. his girlfriend called me the following day.. i was in post partum depression and then another type of depression i forgot the name. was on meds it made it worse. i ended up best friends with that girl dated her boyfriends cousin. well needless to say he stole money from me and we broke up.. well i been away from him since april? and moved to missouri( i lived in ohio) got a job starting college and i meet the man of my dreams.. i hope.. start over that's all i can tell you or like the person below basically said suck it up..

Q: 15/f
Might be long...

Ok so my parents split up about 3 years ago. My mother got together with this other man about 2 years ago or maybe more. Ever since they have gotten together my mom has changed alot. i mean alot. she acts different around me and my two younger brothers. she has becomed im ashamed of saying it but a pervert. she will make out with my stepdad in front of us and be all sexual talk wtih him. i mean i would never be sexually talking to a boyfriend in front of her! thats really akward. and they act like its normal for them to be touching all upon eachother in fron of me and my brothers. i try to discuss with them but they just ignore me. it really bothers me and it kind of effects my brothers also. they tell the whole world that my mom will be having intercourse with my stepdad in front of them.

is this normal or not?
because to me it really isnt.
advice on how to discuss it with them is needed.
thanks

no it is not normal what she is doing and my mother is the same way except worse she let her boyfried hit me and "try" to hug up and kiss on me and i wasn't having it.. i moved in with my father and haven't been happier.. i cry time to time i haven't talked to my mother since beginging of july that's the last time she tried to talk to me.. she choose her new husband over her family.. maybe you and your brother should go stay with your father. it might be safe and healthy for you guys to not be over there.

Q: Ok I totally need some advice fast. Tomorrow I've been invited by my friend and few others to hang out after school. First of all I never had any REAL TRUE friends before so this kind of thing makes me happy to see that I'm finally hanging out with some people who accept me. Anyways my mom said I can't because she doesn't know them and I'm 16. I'm like WTF? All we are gonna do is hang out near a pond (I'm assuming it must be some kind of park) and do random stuff like play yugioh (yes major LOL). I am totally pissed right now. I don't know why, they are my friends, I know how they are but my mom is like everyone has a bad side. I don't want to believe that, they are my friends! Plus I really think this is a good way for me to get out more. A while ago after my check-up with the doctor, she said that I'm prone to diabetes. I can avoid that if I go out more which I'm hoping to do tomorrow with my friends. So should I go with them anyways or maybe stay pissed and just head home?

Talk to your mother. Why not have them over your house before you go out so your mother could meet them. Going out like that with out permission is just going to upset and worry your mother. The she wont trust you and she will most likely thing your new friends pressured you into it or something like that. If they dont want to meet your mother, they arn't friends.

bio

My name is Ashley. I am 22 years old. Ill be celebrating my 3rd 21st birthday June :) . I had my first child at 15. I got married at 18 and had another child shortly after. They have two different fathers. I am currently going threw a divorce. I moves states after we seperated ( ugly seperation) but I had no family in that state. I left everything except my beautiful babies and our clothes. I found a job up north and things are going good. I am dating. I have been in abusive situations. I am going to college for psychology and sociaology. Im here to listen help and give you advice ive been in alot of different situations and can relate to a lot.