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Excuse to keep relationship on the DL
To make a long story short: I've been going back and forth with this guy who REALLY likes me because I can't seem to decide if I like him. I told him I didn't - but then the second he started getting over me I felt heartbroken, cried, was crazy jealous over any girl he talked to, and then kissed him to make him like me again.
It sounds manipulative, like I don't like him but don't want him to get over me.. but I think I do like him. Quite a lot actually.
Now he asked me to decide wether I want to be with him, because he needs to know..
Is there a good excuse that would allow us to be in a secret relationship, so we could sneak around (which is something I really enjoy haha) and keep it on the down low?
It can't involve parents because I'm in college far away from them. He thinks the reason I can't decide if I want to be with him is because he'd be my first boyfriend (which is true, I've never had one before).
Help?
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dont keep a relationship on the down low i could see middle school kids and stuff doing that. but your in college and im sure he is sick of the games but he cares about you this much to stick around he must like you alot why not go for it?
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Either be in a relationship. Or don't be.
Don't be half-ass about this. That isn't fair to him. It’s okay to make the wrong decision, but at least commit to A decision. Even if it’s the wrong one. Don’t be flakey. That is mean. You’ll get a nasty reputation if you treat guys the way you have been, because ya, it sounds manipulative and self-obsessed. Even if you aren’t really that way, people will start to see you that way.
There is no good excuse for a 'secret relationship'. That's hardly a relationship at all! That's an affair. It’s what two people do when they have something to hide because they are doing something wrong.
Dating him wouldn’t be doing anything wrong, so there is no excuse to hide it.
You can't have a healthy relationship if it's based on dishonesty and deceit.
Sure, don't tell your parents right away. Fine. You are old enough to be college on your own then you are old enough not to tell them about every single person you hang out with. But if you want a relationship and an ACTUAL boyfriend, then that requires you be honest with yourself and with those around you.
If you can’t be that honest, then you probably aren’t that into him after all. 'Cause frankly, when you are REALLY into someone, you want to tell the world. When you are really nervous and ashamed of your crush... your are being self-involved and you aren't really that into them.
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You do have feelings for him if you cried and such.
You shouldn't keep it secretive. That's always a bad sign. That means that you really aren't sure. & You are sure, you're just nervous. There's no need to be though; go for it! It's really just starting out, so there's no need to get your parents involved whatsoever until it's time for a family visit or something if he happens to come along, if things get that far. But being your first relationship and this indecisiveness, who knows if it will even last over a week once it really begins? You should just plunge into it; experience! :)
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Since you want to be honest,
just say he is your first boyfriend, and you don't really know how your feeling. You could make a dumb excuse if you want, but I wouldn't.
This is also called a hard-to-get situation.
I think you just don't know how you feel and you might need some time to figure out what's going on.
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