I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
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Hey there. 17-year-old female, who is currently dating the most amazing guy she has ever met. After a few months of dating, we had finally decided to have sex for the first time. He had already lost his virginity a while ago, but I was brand-spanking new to pretty much everything. He eased me comfortably through foreplay and some fingering, which hurt a bit at first, but I eventually adjusted to. Then he finally decided to push inside for the first time.
The pain was unbelievably excruciating, and it completely caught me off guard. I knew the first time was going to hurt, so I told myself I would power through it, but after a few more thrusts, I had to quit. He understood and backed off, and we spent the rest of the night doing other things.
Two weeks later, we decided to try again. This time, he fingered me for a little while longer, because we both thought that might help loosen me up a little bit. We also bought a good amount of lube, and made sure he was fully slicked up before we tried again. However, the exact same thing as last time happened, and I was almost crying because of all the pain I was experiencing when he pushed inside. This is when we both started to worry that I was just way too tight for us to have sex at this point.
I want us to keep trying, but the pain is absolutely horrible, and I'm not sure what to do. I usually have a very high tolerance; however, this is way beyond what I can handle. The only advice we can get is to just keep going at it...but it would be nice to know any other ways to help ease this process. (link)
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If it continues every time than I would see a gynecologist about this. The articles I read all point to there being a lack of vaginal lubrication or the position you chose and depth of thrust and vigor as the issue.
Perhaps if you tried different positions without deep thrusts it may be comfortable. Most articles suggest masturbation before sex and or certain adult novelty toys meant for penetration as a way of dealing with tightness and erasing pain. Good luck and hopefully this helps. If you search Google there's tons of articles and ideas that we can't put here that may yield answers and ideas.
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A few months ago I had a 'thing' going on with my ex boyfriend, he text me first every single night and we always used to exchange looks when we saw each other, after weeks of persuasion off him I sent him a picture of myself because I knew I could trust him (if you know what I mean) and shortly after that I became really paranoid. We stopped talking and he was still trustworthy but I don't know if he still has the photo and I don't know how to ask him because it will be really awkward.. any advice? Just so people know I'd never do anything like this normally, I'm not that type of girl. (link)
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As hard as this is going to be you NEED to tell your parents or an adult IMMEDIATELY what you did and how you know you bleeped up by doing it.
One should NEVER send racy photos or ones containing nudity especially to anyone as once they've got it they can spread it.
The other thing is that it's consider child pornography and illegal and can get both of you in trouble for possessing or sending it. You have to tell an adult about this icky situation so they can approach his family and have it destroyed or stop distribution to anyone.
You may not be the type to do this but you did it and have learned from it. You have to let an adult fix this for you so no further problems arise.
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I'm 16 and I'm really really shy around people. I have low self confidence and I think I'm developing a high social anxiety. My only friend is my cousin who is a year below me and she is my best friend. I used to be really outgoing and be in a big group of friends. I'm going to be going to college this year and I think I need advice on how to start talking to people who used to be my best friends again.. basically I need advice on how to make friends and get into a group again so I don't feel so self conscious. (link)
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You NEED to take an improvisation drama class. You will learn all kinds of trust games and be forced to work with and relate to a host of different personalities.
Nothing I know will help you gain confidence, deal with fears, and become comfortable in your own skin and with others. There's tons of these courses around.
As far as past friends go ask yourself why you split before attempting to re-connect as that same flaw could mean more BS or disappointment. Talk to them like you would anyone else and tell them you would like to reconnect. The worst you could hear is NO.
I also think you need help with anxiety that only a professional can provide. You aren't crazy nor have to be to see a psychiatrist. All they will do here is provide counseling, work on your social skills, paralyzing fears, and perhaps give medication for anxiety that will help you function on a better level.
If your school has a student council I want you to join pronto. That will really help you meet, communicate with others and make friends. Other clubs are a good option on top.
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so me and my boyfriend lost are virginity to each other only a couple days ago.
everthing is fine, we used protection and stuff. but now we do it without it.. and he pulls it out befor he cums.
how safe is this? (link)
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In short it ain't. Precum contains enough sperm millions to be exact to make you pregnant. If having unprotected sex make sure he's disease free and you are on birth-control or you are playing with fire.
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Hello, there!
So, I love to model and act. I heard you have to send your portfolio into your agency. Well, how do I make a portfolio, exactly?
Please give me fully-detailed steps.
Thank you so very much, and have a nice day!:) (link)
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A portfolio is made from actual photos or print work you have appeared in. It's a collection of different looks and past projects.
If you have NEVER done professional modelling ever than you just need a few snap shots or 8*10s to showcasing how you look, different styles, and physical characteristics.
You DON'T I repeat DON'T need a professional portfolio or to purchase one through an agent of pictures as that's a scam. Starting out in acting or modelling only requires photos a digital camera could take.
If you get into this business call ACTRA (Canada) or SAG (U.S.) first and ask for a list of reputable agents. Only contact those people as anyone not on the list isn't for a reason and bad news to deal with.
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So I am a 15 yeard old female, and I am bisexual. I am sure this is not some "phase". I have always had an attraction to girls, and this year I've felt that attraction even more.
Let's cut to it. I've told abou 10 of my friends that I am bi, and all of them have accepted it so far.
Basically, I have no problem coming out to the world as a bisexual, but it's my parents. They are very homophobic. And when I say very I mean extreamly. My dad hates andything related to LGBTQ, and my mom does too, but she has a bi friend.
What I'm basically asking is if you have any tips on how to come out to homophobic parents, or what I should do etc. (link)
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Do you have a teacher you trust or a counselor? With your permission they could explain to your parents how scared you are to come out with something you know you haven't control over--your orientation.
You could also ask a relative to be with you and do it that way to tell. Your best bet would be to contact PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) for advice on coming out to family and dealing with parents that are anti-gay etc.
Your parents are operating out of fear and ignorance and not liking the lifestyle but once they see that you are who you are and can't change they will accept you because you are their child. It takes guts to say something but it's better it comes out now in a controlled manner than in one you can't later.
Sooner or later if you have partners in the future they'll find out. Doing it at a PFLAG meeting or with their advice may be the ticket.
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I'm not sure what to do here. I've had this HUGE crush for a year now. He's cute, funny, and super nice. I've told my parents about him and all my friends, but you know, I haven't told HIM! I'm nervous of what he might say or if he'd like me back. I always try to look pretty or act hard to get, but we're both tween age and I guess at that age, he doesn't like girls like that. His cousin tells me he likes me, but she lies sometimes so I dont know if I should trust her.
Should I tell him I like him and if so, how should I do it so it's not awkward? P.s. we're both friends. (link)
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If you are friends you have to consider whether or not you would lose that if you told him and he said no. If he's a true friend he won't allow it to.
I'm a firm believer that if you feel something is right in your heart of hearts go after it. He may feel the same way. Someone has to make a move or nothing will happen.
You just have to be honest with him and let the chips fall where they may. Even if he said no it's not the end of the world. He may well say yes.
It's something you have held secret for a year. You have to let it out and at least you'll know. Just tell him what you said to us.
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Ok, I've seen EVERY episode, and I'm a little confused.
I looked it up on google, and it says that Dan wanted off the show, to focuse on his acting career in movies, so thats how they came up with him having a heart attack and dying at Darlene's wedding.
But if he wanted off the show, and that was suppose to be his final episode, why is he still apearring in the final season?
I know Roseanne said that he died at her wedding, and she kept him alive because she loved him; but it doesn't make sense.
So he really finished off the series with them, and than left??
Im so confused! haha. I love the show; and I know they never won the lottery, and he never cheated on Roseanne; because she made that happen because when he died, she felt like he cheated her out of life and what not.
So please explain! (link)
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John Goodman wanted out of Roseanne in the 1997-1998 season. During that time he had a very public blowup with her and stormed off the set refusing to return.
Roseanne looked to kill off the character with a heart attack but he returned to work because
he was contractually obligated to the show and could be sued. He stayed for the final episodes on his contract but had minimal involvement and that's why the storyline is so bizarre. Since then he's focused on movies and theater.
ADDITIONAL: At the time Goodman was also working on Blues Brothers 2000 with Dan Aykroyd, Joe Morton, Evan Bonafant in Toronto, Canada. The film is directed by John Landis. I met him during the shoot. Nice guy but bristled at any mention of Roseanne during filming.
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Hi. I'm 14/f and my boyfriend an I have been talking about having sex. He really wants to and was respectful enough to just ask instead of trying to pull my pants off, unlike my ex's and I've told him that I don't want to and he knows how I feel about the whole thing so he hasn't asked that question exactly, but he has hinted a couple times and got the same answer and then yesterday he brought up the topic of masturbating and right away this came to my head;
If I don't have sex with him but still satisfy him somehow (by masturbating for him & letting him watch and masturbate if he wants to) then is that wrong? Of course I don't want to tease him by telling him that I have this idea and then not do it so my question is;
Is this wrong? I'm 14/f, virgin and I want to stay virgin until my wedding, by the way
Thank you for all answers! (link)
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You will get a multitude of responses on this with some people thinking its wrong and others the opposite. It's really subjective.
The question should be do you think it's wrong? It all comes down to your perception of it and whether you feel it's right. That's something nobody can decide but you.
The truth is that this isn't hurting anyone and it's up to you. You have to be 100% comfortable with your body and sharing something so private with him. You also have to be 100% sure that you are doing this for yourself and not just for him to be satisfied when you don't want sex.
You and you alone are in the driver's seat and have to set up boundaries about touch, that there's no sex etc. and that you're remaining a virgin and never let it cross into uncomfortable territory. I guess what I'm saying is to really think hard about this and consider pros/cons before agreeing to this. If for any reason you feel weird about it than don't.
As you know masturbation in any form is safe and 100% normal. Adults do engage in this together and it's not uncommon. In a way your parents would HATE you doing this at all but would probably applaud you trying to handle hormones in a way that isn't intercourse. It's better to this than become pregnant or be in risky behavior. Know your own morals and if waiting til marriage for sex is important don't do anything to compromise that.
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My existence is an absolute waste of space! I am 42 years old, never been married and have no children, Thank GOD! Just my existence,stresses out the only people that love me, my poor parents! I cant get a job to support myself, pathetic. I am so grateful my parents let me live with them now, because being homeless is hell. Living with them, I ALWAYS feel so awful, guilty, embarassed, ashamed, miserable, in the way, a mooch, loser and big disappointment. I serve NO purpose here, I do nothing, I am a failure. I am not alive. Ending my wasteful existence makes so much sense! My first choice is to donate all my organs, body parts, blood, eyes, etc... So many things that may be able to help others. I am afraid to bring this option up, because I do not want to be put in a psych ward, been there, done that & no thank you. I am in great health, and it makes perfect sense, to give of myself, to any other person that actually WANTS to live, as I do NOT want to exist another minute. Any suggestions? I suppose i am looking for someone like Doctor Kovorkian, a doctor that would assist it my death, in order to put me out of my pain and misery, and give life to anyone that needs something I could offer. If that cant be done, than it just seems wasteful. (link)
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ADDITIONAL: You asked me for more perspective in my inbox but called my advice that you need help an absolute joke. You also hinted at being off medication for bipolar for a long time. This proves to me that there is instability here and you need help.
As far as no insurance goes I'm sure if you worked with the psychiatrist that they would find a way for you to get the medication and help you needed. I can't see any professional turning their back on someone in your state.
I would visit an emergency room and tell them your outlook on life and see how they handle things. I'll reiterate that you aren't at all well whether you can see it or not as a healthy person doesn't talk like you have about their life nor do they give up.
I should know. I've been around people with bipolar and other mental illnesses who were in a state of crisis or headed there like you are acting.If you don't want to accept my advice than no need to inbox me as you've made your choice not to listen to anyone. I wish you well and hope you see reality and that there is something to live for.
ORIGINAL
You are the farthest thing away from great health right now. That's being blunt and reality. The problem is you can't see this as being ill which is a part of your mental health issues.
You need to get professional health and may need to be in that psych ward to straighten out. Wanting death and thinking your existence is pathetic is not in the least bit sane.
You may be 42 but you have had all the opportunities others have and have to make something of yourself and you definitely still can. You've given up. Life is what you make of it. Once you get proper treatment you'll realize life is better than you thought and that you can really contribute.
Furthermore, this site cannot and will not offer ways to kill or physically harm one's self. Also thinking of ending your life just to give organs to others isn't rational thought either. My suggestion see a psychiatrist as you appear to be in crisis and get your life back as a result. There's so much to live for even if you haven't accepted that yet.
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If a boxer is fighting someone and hit them so hard that they kill the other person Will they go to jail or get charged with anything? (link)
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When it comes to boxing and there is a fatality both the coroner and the state athletic association that licenses fighters conduct investigations.
The gloves of the person who killed their opponent are impounded and the athletic association examines the hand wraps, looks for anything illegal such as loaded gloves (plaster) or anything that shouldn't be there. That's how a person gets charged with manslaughter.
These days it's up to a trainer and the corner to know when their fighter is in over his/her head and the referee to stop it before they incur severe damage.
Yes fighters know the risks and yes anyone who killed someone else can be banned from further fights but nobody is charged with anything unless it's established there was illegal wraps or gloves contributing to death.
You should read up on Antonio Margarito and him being caught with loaded gloves and the ban on him in the U.S. and his trainer after his fight with Shane Mosley.
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Well on my birthday which is this april on the 13th im having a sleepover were going to be off school so ill have tons of time to prepare they are coming at 3 '0' clock and altogether there will be 4 people including me i dont know how to entertain my guests! i dont have ant money to buy anything what games shall we play? i already know we will play murder in the dark but what else? and please can it be not to loud as my parents wont like it. (link)
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Why not go directly to them and ask what are some of the things that don't cost a lot of money that they want to do at the party. That way everyone will have fun and you can relax.
Movies and video games usually go over well as do trivia games such as Scene It. You could set up a tent in doors as well as out if not raining and camp out there. Ask your mom what she has in mind and definitely ask your guests. No harm in that.
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Never had I have an orgasim woman
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Most women have trouble reaching climax through intercourse by itself. They usually achieve it through masturbation or clitoral stimulation in particular.
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I'm 15 years old and I'm 5'0 feet tall.I'm pretty short and it kind of bothers me because I'm the only member of my family that's short.My younger sister is even taller than me,it kinda makes me jealous sometime.What can I do to grow at least a little bit taller,or help speed up my growth?
Thankyou. (link)
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Height is determined by genetics. While others may be taller somewhere down the genetic line there were those who were not.
I know you must be frustrated but the good thing is that you're still going through puberty and can have growth spurts still. By the time you are 18 your adult height is locked in.
There's no exercises or pills or remedies to make anyone taller. If there were we'd all be 7 foot tall but regardless of size and height just remember that good things come in small packages.
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does every girl finger?
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It's a form of masturbation. It's quite common, your peer group does but boys talk about this and girls don't. Statistically, 70% of females of all age do and 90% of males. Females may not all use this method or enjoy it or be comfortable but it is common.
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Hi my partner and I are very much in love we have a good sexual relationship the problem we have is he wants to cum inside me but can not we end having to do oral sex to get him to orgasm. I can climax many times while he is inside me but he can not I have my tubes tied and hoping I can get them untied next year we want to try for a baby even though I have had children before to my ex husband. How do I help him to cum inside me I so want him too, is there anything I can do to help (link)
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Is he on any new or long-term medication for an illness of any kind past or present? Anti-depressants and other medicine can have sexual side-effects and perhaps this may be the issue. Have him talk to his doctor.
It's something to bring up to a urologist who can check that his plumbing is working correctly. If it's medicine causing this it's not that he can't reach climax it's that it takes too long.
The other thing could be nerves or irrational fears or fear of pregnancy etc. making it harder but it likely is medical. If he can climax on his own or through prolonged oral pleasure it proves he can and it's not your fault or his with intercourse. Have him visit a doctor.
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(male,gay)Well,I have a boyfriend,we've been dating for almost two years and a half,but he hasn't presented me to his family as his partner,they do know me,though,but just as any other f***g friend of his,is he ashamed of me?We have been through this like a thousand times but I guess I'm just pretty tired of speaking and speaking all the time without coming to any solution,What can I do?This has already jeopardised our relationship 'cause I'm seriously thinking about dumping him,'cause I'm not a criminal,thanks in advance for your help! (link)
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Have you thought of the possibility that it's their reaction he's afraid of? They may know he's gay but might not like the idea of him having a partner. Then again, maybe he's not revealed that he's gay to them.
It's them he's worried over and not you. He obviously is out to protect you and doesn't love you less. Talk to him about how this bothers you and ask the reason for the behavior before being so quick to jump to conclusions and ditch a person.
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Hi,
I didn't really know what category to place this. I filled out an online modeling/acting application and they called me a few days ago. Problem is, I sent an older photo of myself to them. It's a about three years old. I'm 20 now and I was 17 in the picture. I sent that photo because it was one of the few I had on my laptop. My hair was darker and styled differently. I haven't changed too much as far as looks. My hair is a sandy/dark blonde now. What do I do? I didn't think they would call me. I just found the application online when I was researching opportunities in my area. I was thinking about trying out for America's next top model because my friends and family have been encouraging me to do so. (link)
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I don't want to burst your bubble but I want to ensure your safety first. Secondly, I need to prevent you from being ripped off. Legit talent competitions and agents for modeling/acting and casting of films NEVER recruit talent online.
They NEVER look at photos online nor do they want you to send them in that way or cast for anything this way. If you want to model or act contact SAG and get a list of reputable agents in the U.S. or contact ACTRA in Canada. They're the unions that protect performers.
This thing has SCAM all over it as legit competitions and agents do not use the Internet in this manner. Don't turn to online ever for this kind of thing as you'll find countless people and pages like this out to either compromise your safety or rip you off. I wouldn't follow up their return call if I were you.
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I have these cousins, 4 to be exact that live near me. I'll call them A,C,L,&J. A (11/m) and C (8/f) are siblings and L (8/f) and J (11/m) are siblings as well. Since my mom and their moms are really close, we all hang out at each others houses and go places together often. I have a brother and a sister around the same of the cousins, so they have little cliques, a girl one and a boy one. But there's nobody my age around. Every time they see me, they all gang up against me and insult me. Like the other day, we went to a fun house and I A and L both made fat jokes about me (I'm a little chubby) and they call me things like nasty, fat, and a witch and treat me like crap. My parents tell me to ignore them, but it's really hard because I've always been sensitive to comments about my appearance (I'm f/13 btw). Occasionally, I try to fight back, but I end up getting in more trouble because I'm the older one. And their parents try to discipline them, but they never stop. Every time I'm around them, they always make me want to cry. I don't know what to do, but I can't take it anymore. It's really hurting my self esteem.
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Try telling them how their jokes have affected you and to put themselves in your shoes. If they don't stop the bullying and that's EXACTLY what it is perhaps knocking them and their physical characteristics and or weaknesses will work.
You have told the adults and they can't reel their kids in. I don't condone violence. However, if they are treating you like crap and you have ZERO self-esteem and have had it dump one of them on their ass next time. That will teach them respect and that they can't victimize you. They'll never bother you again.
In the meantime, avoid situations where you usually have to socialize and stay home. Know that you are NOT what they call you and actually a better person inside and out and keep that in mind any time they are around you in a forced situation.
Refuse to see them for awhile and see if that helps--but then again they may sense victory if you did. Try talking with them but if all else fails hit back with insults and fists like I suggested if NOTHING makes them stop.
ADDITIONAL: Getting in trouble for defending yourself from being hit or being bullied relentlessly is a badge of honor. Until you stand up for yourself they will walk all over you as they always have.
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When i try to play sports or any activity i sweat extremely.i use deo but it doesn't stop the sweat nor the smell,what do i do? (link)
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See a doctor as it may be medical in nature and they will have ways of stopping it. Excessive sweating like you have described isn't normal especially when nothing stops it or the odor.
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