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I don't know what to do about my cousins


Question Posted Sunday March 18 2012, 12:50 am

I have these cousins, 4 to be exact that live near me. I'll call them A,C,L,&J. A (11/m) and C (8/f) are siblings and L (8/f) and J (11/m) are siblings as well. Since my mom and their moms are really close, we all hang out at each others houses and go places together often. I have a brother and a sister around the same of the cousins, so they have little cliques, a girl one and a boy one. But there's nobody my age around. Every time they see me, they all gang up against me and insult me. Like the other day, we went to a fun house and I A and L both made fat jokes about me (I'm a little chubby) and they call me things like nasty, fat, and a witch and treat me like crap. My parents tell me to ignore them, but it's really hard because I've always been sensitive to comments about my appearance (I'm f/13 btw). Occasionally, I try to fight back, but I end up getting in more trouble because I'm the older one. And their parents try to discipline them, but they never stop. Every time I'm around them, they always make me want to cry. I don't know what to do, but I can't take it anymore. It's really hurting my self esteem.


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claxthestrong answered Monday March 19 2012, 1:50 am:
You are a good cousin and sibling to spend so much time with them.

Children are really insecure with who they are, think back to when you were 8 years old. They desperalty want the approval of older people, not nesasarily parents but an 8 year old boy wants an 11 year old to think he is cool. The only way to do that is to immitate them.

You are older and you are crossing into adulthood, there are many strange changes that happen to a 13 year old, putting on a few pounds and other changes.

First an 11 Boy hasent began his pubecense so he lacks understanding girls change eirlier than boys, so he will be immature. Immaturity is an extreemly strong point of insecurity. If when they start calling you fat insted of fighting back just say "so?" It might take a while but once the realize they can't ruffle your fethers they will stop.

You need time to socialize with your peers, that is very important

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solidadvice4teens answered Sunday March 18 2012, 11:11 pm:
Try telling them how their jokes have affected you and to put themselves in your shoes. If they don't stop the bullying and that's EXACTLY what it is perhaps knocking them and their physical characteristics and or weaknesses will work.

You have told the adults and they can't reel their kids in. I don't condone violence. However, if they are treating you like crap and you have ZERO self-esteem and have had it dump one of them on their ass next time. That will teach them respect and that they can't victimize you. They'll never bother you again.

In the meantime, avoid situations where you usually have to socialize and stay home. Know that you are NOT what they call you and actually a better person inside and out and keep that in mind any time they are around you in a forced situation.

Refuse to see them for awhile and see if that helps--but then again they may sense victory if you did. Try talking with them but if all else fails hit back with insults and fists like I suggested if NOTHING makes them stop.

ADDITIONAL: Getting in trouble for defending yourself from being hit or being bullied relentlessly is a badge of honor. Until you stand up for yourself they will walk all over you as they always have.

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