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Q: Is it possible to track down someone's IP address online, even if you don't give out personal information? I heard somewhere that it's possible, and I'm worried that some pedophile will track me down on this site. Even though I give out no personal information.
Most crazy internet pedophiles find it much easier to just lure victims into outright telling them where they live. There are enough uneducated, unmonitored kids online that it's not worth the trouble to hack a website like this to obtain the IP records and connect it to you. There are probably 10-20 moderators on this site who have open access to IP addresses and can find yours out without hacking the site, but even they can't find out where you live just based on that. IP addresses can reveal who your internet service provider is and what region or state you live in, but that's about it. It doesn't reveal your address, what school you go to, your real name, etc.

You're very right not to give out personal information, ever, but basic rules for staying safe online are the same as they are everywhere else... trust your instincts and don't talk to or maintain relationships with anyone who makes you uncomfortable.

Q: to make a short story short..... i like him, he likes me. my mom doesn't like him because she just doesn't like the way he looks. but he's really a nice guy. he invited me to a party. i really wanna go. how do i convince mom to like him? i need a really good stratigic well thought out plan. ideas?
Leave him out of any conversations with your mom about the party. Just tell her you want to go, and leave it at that, don't tell her it's because of him. She's probably not comfortable with your feelings for him and that's typical, a lot of parents aren't, so play it down and tell her you're just friends, there's no reason she needs to know much more.

Q: 16/f
you can use a condom and be on birth control right? because im on birth control but trust me in nowhere near having sex people wanted to with me but i said no :D im not ready for that or the consequences yet! well i was just wondering. because i am on birth control for my period not because im being sexual. well yeah i was just checkin sorry if that was a dumb question! just wanted to be sure.
You should always use condoms. Birth control pills don't do anything to prevent you from getting STDs, and AIDs is still around.

My advice would be to just not have sex, there are a lot more issues that come with it, even if you're on birth control.

Q: I just turned 13, and I've been beging my mother to get my hair dyed black since I was 11. Since it's summer I also want blue highlights (temorary!)She still hasen't given in. How should I convince her?
Every year, millions of teenagers dye their hair against their parent's wishes. I'm not saying you should just go and do it, especially if she's the hardcore type who'd just make you dye it back, but I do know it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission.

I mean, if dying your hair is the worst thing you ever do, you're still a pretty good kid. Maybe dye it at a friends house, call her up and tell her you're all doing drugs. Then when she starts freaking out tell her you were just joking about the drugs but DID just dye your hair black with blue highlights... it won't sound so bad :)

Q: i am a 21 year old girl who has just had my life turned upside down. i just realised that i have done nothing with my life that will get me anywhere i want to go. i really want to be a primary school teacher but i am unsure of the routes to take to become one. i am currently an assistant nursery nurse about to qualify. i also have half of an HND in accounts but quit after realising i ould not sit on my own in an office all day on my own. (just isn't me). does anyone know what routes there are to getting into primary teaching? If so how many years do you have to study for?
You'll have to check with your local school districts, because it varies from state to state.

Once nice thing I know is that where I live, you can be a substitute teacher with only 60 college credits under your belt, you don't even have to have the full degree. Being a substitute would be a great way to learn if teaching is right for you, plus it'd get your foot in the door so you can find out what schools are best, plus it'd be really good experience if you keep working towards a teaching degree while you're doing it.

Q: Are all associate's degrees considered the same? If you get a bachelor's degree then your major isn't very important (from what I heard). Is it like that with an associate's?

(I don't know if an associates in business and an associates in general education would be the same).
Huh? If you get a bachelor's degree then your major is VERY important, I don't know who told you otherwise. If you want to be an engineer, you can't get a teaching degree. If you want to get into medical school, you can't get an english degree. There's a reason colleges have "majors", it's very important.

An associate's degree is basically something that says you finished a couple years of community college, it won't get you much. I'd go with the general education one, but again, it depends what you want to do. If you're interested in business, go that route. If you plan to stop at your associate's and never go any further, it probably matters more. Once you get a bachelor's nobody will ever care about your associate's or what it was in.

Q: well, i registered as a user to a penpal website, where you can meet people from other countries. it has been great so far! i have more penpals than i wanted, all from different places. i just started worrying today about one of my penpals... his name is emmanuel, and he is from ghana, africa. i have been talking to him over email for maybe 2-3 weeks. i sent him some pictures of america, like places i've visited and sometimes pictures of me and my friends. i do that with my other penpals and they usually send some pictures themselves.

anyway, the most recent email he sent me (today) asked about a lot of personal information -- like what school i go to, he asked for a picture of my family, what my friends name is, he told me that he desperately wants me to visit him, and he even asked for my postal address. doesn't that sound a little fishy? i mean, i've asked some things about ghana and his culture, but not things like that. he told me in scattered emails that not many people in ghana speak english or even go to school, and i noticed that his english was rather good. i didn't ask him where he learned it from, assuming his mom/dad taught him.

then today, for the heck of it, i typed his full name in on the internet and a few links came up. i went to this one site and it said that he was a 23 year old that stole 2-point-something million cedis (african $) in rice and in 1997. it also said that he was in prison for 3 years. i started worrying over this because of past experiences with meeting people over the internet.

im not sure if i should email him anymore. what should i say to him if i do? what if his name is common in africa, like smith is a common last name in america?

i havent responded to that email he sent me regarding those questions. what should i do?
stop e-mailing NOW! forget the questionable prison records, anyone who'd express interest in meeting a penpal after 2-3 weeks of e-mail contact is a freak who you don't need to be involved with. he's creepy, drop him.

Q: *Sorry if it's in the wrong catagory, but this is the closest i could find*

I am a 16 year old female considering joining the Air Force when I am of age. I was wondering if anyone knew where i could get some information regarding the Air Force. I looked all over their website and couldn't find a place to request information. If anyone knows where I can find information that would help me with the decision of joining or not, i would greatly appreciate it.

I am looking to find out what the air force consists of *boot camp, jobs, etc.* and their requirements. And also where i could find a recruiter near me.

thank you greatly!

Take my advice and go to college first, see if there's a college with an air force ROTC. You'll get out as an officer with a degree and you can take on cool computer jobs, maybe even be a pilot (research that process if it's really what you want to do, I don't know the path but it's not a simple one). If you're not an officer and don't have a degree being in the air force won't be as cool as it looks on TV, trust me, you'll be scrubbing floors for some cool pilot, not being one.

Q: Sorry if this is soo long but its pretty serious.

my Male Cousin recently got marriedlike 4 months ago. And his wife is pregnant. Well not even a week ago her grandfather & grandmother & two half brothers came over from oklahoma to florida. yea perfect right. not. while there her grandfather was driving around with my male cousin and said his driving was horrible. Saturday Morning the grandfather insisted on leaving but my male cousin didnt want him to drive with the grandmother and the 2 kids while his drving was bad. But the grandfather insisted and left. not even 30 min onto the highway he got in a serious car accident. He drove right into one of those huge trucks & flipped the van a few times. It was horrible. the grandmother and the younger of the two kids passed right away. The older kid and the grandfather were on life support. They finally got released out of the hospital a few days ago. Now my cousin && his wife are going to oklahoma for the funeral.

Next part.
His wifes mother & stepdad live with her grandparents. The youngerof the kids was the stepdads only kids with her and she can't have anymore. No one wants anything to do with the grandfather at all.

Now my mom wants advice and i have no idea what to say to her. The grand father has really no reason to be hated in my view. He lost his family also.

What is your guys view & what would you say in this situation?

thank you.
You're asking me how you should feel about your mother's sibling's cousin's wife's mother's father? egads... who cares? This guy isn't related to you in any sense of the word, I really don't see what the big deal is. Let the immediate family deal with the big internal issues, you and your mom can do your part by minding your own business.

Q: has anyone tried reusable pads or seasponge tampons?
how comfortable are they compared to disposable feminine hygene products? which brands would you recommend?
I've used reusable pads for almost two years now and I love them! I used lunapads, and then made some of my own using leftover flannel (I sew a lot). Making them is somewhat labor intensive though so I'd recommend buying them.

They're a lot more comfortable... I really love them on lighter days when I only need one pad to cover me for like eight hours. I always had trouble getting those disposable pads to stay in place, you know, the sticky surfaces don't stick after a while, and I thought the dri-weave stuff they used chafed. But reusable ones aren't like that because they snap in place and are really soft forever.

I still wear disposable tampons on my first day because it's really heavy and I don't want to carry eight fabric pads around with me to deal with that, but aside from that they're all I use, and at the end of the week I throw them in the washer and then the dryer and they're ready for next month. I'd totally recommend them, they're well worth the price, and if you try the sea sponge tampons let me know how that works out because I'm curious myself.

Q: I can't find any online reviews for this product so I decided to ask here. "Auto Cool" a device that you put on your car window and a solar powered fan pulls the hot air out. I am wondering if this really works? I mean if the air in the car is really that hot, and it's hot outside how is this going to work?

https://www.autocooltv.com/ppc/index.asp?id=&refcode=ppcG

I will rate

I'm sure it'll do something but it won't be as fantastic as they say it is. It doesn't matter how hot the outside is... cars get hotter than the outside because the sun heats up the surfaces and that energy can't escape. This device pulls hot air out, yes, but it's pulling most of the air from the spot right by your slightly open window, which isn't the big problem. If it was pulling air from on top of your dashboard it'd work better.

My advice is just to crack your windows, cover your steering wheel with a towel, get a sun shield and park facing east.

Q: My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost 11 months. We are together almost everyday. My problem is, I hate when we aren't together. When he can't hang out, I get really upset and I like, minupulate him to come see me. I don't know what is wrong with me! I can never give him space. I feel bad and I try to change but I can't. How should I stop? Does anyone else have this problem? By the way- I would hang out with my friends but they are gone away for the summer.
Hate to say it, but you'd probably have more friends to hang out with if you and your boyfriend weren't joined at the hip all the time. They probably feel left out. Clingy couples are painfully annoying!

You need to find something to do - a project maybe - and tell him to stay away for 24 hours. Trust me, for your own health and sanity, make yourself do it.

Q: Here is something I have always thought to be true:

If you go to a food service-type industry, and the person serving you interests you, it is not entirely wrong if one were to make some sort of 'move' toward the person, perhaps in a subtely manner which may or may not end in the reception of a phone number.

However, unless provoked, the person serving, unless attempting to simply milk a tip from the person, should not directly hit on any customers.

Does anyone else agree? I work at an ice cream shop, and during the summer, there are plenty of...well...chances.
Damn, you're wordy. I think I understood the last sentence though... if you work at an ice cream shop I'm pretty sure you can get anyone to fall in love with you, it's almost an unfair advantage, but hey everybody's gotta get something. So own it! Flirt away, it'll be fun, and possibly good for business.

Q: I'm so messed up I'm agnostic thinking about turning back into a christian or turn into an athiest.. I'm so scared if I turned into an athiest I'll go to hell If there really is a god... If I turn into a christian I'll be believein in something that may not be real? I cried about this.. Should I just turn into an athiest and if there really is a god go to hell for it.. Or should I turn into a christian and believe and god and maybe go to heaven if god is real?
You're not the first person to struggle with this question, don't worry, you're not so alone as you feel.

Here's what I know: you should not believe in God just to get into heaven. trust me, plenty of big churches will tell you otherwise, they basically act like that's the point of everything, but I disagree. I think journeys, like the one you're on now, are the point of everything. Religion is a gift to make us bigger than ourselves. Anyone who tries to make it less is getting just that: less.

If God loves you like us Christians say He does, he won't send you to hell for questioning, anyway. We all do it, it's the way we're made, and it's definitely the way you're made. It's okay to be frustrated about it, cry about it, get mad about it... the important thing is that you continue on your journey and appreciate the mind you've been given that wants to look beyond what everybody's trying to feed you.

My advice is to read... read the New Testament, C.S Lewis, Marcus Borg, and give yourself time to think and decide what's really calling you. Don't act out of fear of going to hell, act out of love for God or the world or being true to yourself. Then you'll really have faith that's part of you, not something forced. that goes for either side, too, remember atheism takes faith, sometimes more than Christianity, because it's hard to really know what's going on here.

Q: I apoligize if this is in the wrong catagory. I was not sure what this would be considered as, but here is my question: I'm 16/f and I am unsure if I should go out with this guy. I am a devoted Christian and I pray for God to help me through a lot of this. But I am still unsure. I always give people a chance, because I believe that you can't really judge someone until you know them. Well when I met this guy he asked me out, but my other friend tells me he does drugs, he smokes, and he has this "bad boy" reputation. He's a really sweet and caring guy. And I kind of like him. But I don't want to end up going the wrong path if I am with him. And he's 16/m. What do you think I should do in this situation?

If you need more information about this situation you can e-mail me at xxmcrfan15xx@yahoo.com. Thank you in advance.

And I am sorry it's a bit long. I tried making it as brief as possible!
Just go into it with your lines set and you'll be fine. Decide right now that you will be a Christian, stay off drugs, never smoke, and if you're tough (and it sounds like you are) you'll be able to stick with it. Maybe you can even talk to him about why he does those things... and who knows, maybe he's not as bad as you've heard, reputations aren't always true.

As long as you know who you are and are tough enough to walk away when you're truly tempted to do something against that, you can go out of your comfortable little world and meet people who might not all be Christian and get to know them better, it's okay, it's good for you.

Q: I think I may have an yeast infection but I'm too embarrassed to tell my mom so she can get me something for it. Is there any other way to get rid of it besides using creams..?
You need to see a doctor... those creams are for women who experience recurring infections and have already talked with their doctor and had him/her recommend the over the counter creams. Are you sure it's a yeast infection? Because if it's just itching, that's a little more common and easier to treat (use pantiliners, don't use pantiliners, that sort of thing) but either way you should see someone. Don't be embarrassed, it's okay, really.

Q: I was just kind of curious. One of my friends told me that her mom said we should put ICE next to any numbers in my phone that I would want someone to call if anything happened to me. ICE standing for In Case of Emergancy. Well my question is, do cops, firefighters, and paramedics know about that? Like will they actually look through your phone for the ICE numbers, or is that just something that her mom wanted us to do? Have any of you ever heard of doing that? Because I have ICE next to my parents, siblings, and a few of my closest friends. I also always have ID on me, not that that really matters.

But I was really just wondering, do other people do the "ICE" thing, or is it just a waste of time?

Thanks in advance.
The ICE thing is gaining popularity and a lot of paramedics look for it, so it's not a bad idea to have it in your phone (not like it costs you anything, right?) but make sure you take other steps as well... make sure close friends have your mom's cell phone number, make sure there's a note in your purse or wallet that lists emergency contact information. In the event of an accident, paramedics always look to your wallet for an ID, it's much faster than learning how to use your cell phone.

Q: I read that if you put birth control pills in your shampoo that it makes your hair grow really fast. Is this true? And if it is, then can I get them over the counter?

What are some other ways, besides extensions to get my hair to grow? It grows really slow, and I hate it.

Thanks.
Hair is dead cells, sorry to tell you that but it's true, once it's out of your scalp you can use all the miracle creams and shampoos you want on it and it won't make it grow faster.

Make sure you have a balanced diet, drink lots of water and are generally healthy (sickness slows hair growth) and be patient. Brush your hair gently to avoid breaking any off, and have it trimmed at least every 8 weeks to get rid of dead ends.

Q: SO in ethics class last week we learnt that statutory rape is basically when someone has forced sex with a minor (under 16) and it could apply when 2 minors involve themselves, etc, etc. We also learnt that you will immediately go to jail until the trial.


My question is:
When a girl gets pregnant and she had sex but she's say 13 or 14, do they just deliever the baby? I see girls like 15 and 14 with babies and I'm wondering...don't the doctors of nurses ask them questions....cause that's statutory rape right, so can the mother be jailed or the dad? ...does anyone know if this happens or they just deliever the baby no questions?
For the record, consensual sex with a minor is statutory rape, since a 14 year old hasn't reached the "age of consent" yet. Forced rape is in another category altogether and has little to do with age.

If you're 14 and pregnant, there are usually some questions asked, but you're not forced to give information. At that point they're more concerned about your health and that of the baby's, so they don't want to scare minors away from getting health care by torturing them with questions at the doctor's office. And they certainly won't put you in jail... I mean, if a 14 year old has sex with an 20 year old, the 20 year old is the one who goes to jail because they're the criminal here, not the 14 year old.

Q: Im 13/f
I eat alot of chocolate and my mum thinks im addicted to to it, i do too, i always feel like chocolate and a bar is never enough.
I eat a chocolate bar every day and a sweet cereal bar too. some days i'll even have two choccie bars.
I'm worried that if i carry on i might get diabetes, i want to stop eating so much, but how?
How can i make myself motivated and resist chocolate?
Most people snack like that out of boredom, so try to get out of the house and stay busy and run around if you get the urge to snack. Keep the stuff away from your room and computer, too, because that's where I tend to go through, like, whole bags of chips, it's pretty bad. If you really need to snack, try switching to foods that are sweet, but not as bad for you, like dried fruit. Also, dark chocolate is better for you than milk chocolate, so you could go for that at breakdown moments.

bio
spacefem
I've been in the advice column over five years now so I think I've pretty much heard it all... the love, the hate, the random insanity. I don't take it too seriously, so I'm not always giving the best advice, but my column is fun to read!

I am a 23 year old electrical engineer, a feminist, a Christian. I don't know everything but I can sure pretend to.

Disclaimer: Now that I'm on advicenators I'm getting even more questions every day. It's fast and easy for me to answer them, yes, so at least I'm answering something now, but if your question contains the words "there's this guy that I like..." chances are I won't get around to it. I'm only answering interesting questions that I haven't answered before. Register at the site and ask everyone for advice if you must have an answer, because if people read my column and boring love advice was all they found, they'd never come back.

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