icey0990's

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I am an 18 year old male and I have been a pretty emotionally dead person for...well since my early childhood. And when I say dead I don't mean depressed or really down or anything of that nature. It's nearly impossible for me to feel anything genuine and I can only put a mask of fakeness on so I don't seem so far out. When I was in a psychology class I read about something called anti-social personality disorder and it almost disturbed me how similar the symptoms were to my own character. I've done enough to put myself away for the better half of my life and I haven't felt a shred of remorse or conscience. Anyways, I'm wondering if my lack of emotion is a cause of concern. Nothing brings me joy, pain, or sorrow and I can't even feel love for my own family anymore. NOTHING will make me feel anything and it bothers me. All I feel like is a body and a brain without a soul. Something is wrong with me but I don't know what. I'm a very intelligent person and all it seems I can do is succeed with material things like work while my relationships are built on false pretenses and emotions I never even felt but acted like I did. My question is: If there is anybody somewhat educated about this...what could be wrong with me? Do I have anti-social personality disorder?...and am I stuck with this?

I am an 18/f and I too have taken psychology in college. However, I am not a therapist and I doubt many people on here are. I DO know that 90% of people who have seen a therpaist report they feel better. Dont be ashamed for getting help, everyone goes through a rough time soemtime throughout their life. If you go to a psychiatrist, I know it will be beneficial to you. Definitely see a therapist, talk to your family and hopefully they will be supportive of you. Remember, there is nothing to be ashamed about. Having a psychiatric disorder is the same as having a heart problem, tumor, etc. It is a medical condition that can be helped by a professional . It doesnt mean you are crazy, America just has a negative stigmatism or outlook on psychiatric disorders.

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Ok, so for one, i think i know how to give blow job, but please give me something on how to so i know for sure.
and 2, for people that have done it, isnt it kinda weird and disgusting? what do you do if the guy cums while its in your mouth?!?!?!

please just give me all you knw about blowjobs. Thank you!

If we give detailed information on how to perfom sexual acts, we get in trouble. The best advice i can give you is to read up about it on websites, watch videos of it happening, etc.
some girls find it s0o disgusting, but i have been with my bf for 2 years, we have a love and strong bond so it isnt bad for me at all. guys love it if they cum in your mouth, so when he does, just swallow it. if you are disgusted by this, (dont feel bad if you are) talk to him beforehand and hopefully he wil respect that. you can also ask him to give you warning before he is about to cum. good luck :)

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Okay first of i think i should start off by saying im bi-sexual.And i also think i should clue you in about this:My newest best friend copies me on everything,and i mean seriously everything.She claimed to be straight and even now all of a sudden she isnt and she likes the same girl i do.Anyway,I told think girl i like her and she says she likes me too,she even said she really likes me a lot,but shes going out with a guy right now but she says they never last long anyway.And after they break up we could get together.But the problem is she doesnt act like she likes me,i mean sometimes she does,but a lot of other times she doesnt.She seems like she likes my best friend a whole lot more but she kinda denies so.But i dont know if she doesnt like me even though we have hooked up a lot before resently she even asked if she thought my friend would go out with her but now she says she doesnt idk its really confusing please help

I think if she was really interested, she would break up with her guy to be with you. It isnt fair to make you wait until they break up sometime down the road. I also dont like how shes showing interest in your friend. You desserve more than just being the third option. Sit her down and talk to her about your feelings and let her know you arent going to waste any time with her if she doesnt think your worth having right now. She soundsl ike shes mixed up with her bf, your friend, and you and you dont desserve that chaos.

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ok so i might sound like a complete loser.. but me and my boyfriend have been dating for over a year, and at the begining it was great, i thought i was so in love with him and i just always wanted to be with him. but as it went on i started excluding my friends and eventually my friends just stopped talking to me because i would always turn them down when they wanted to hang out and ect. for my boyfriend. and now my boyfriend is pretty much the only friend i have. for the past few months ive realized that i dont really even like him much anymore. hes become a total jerk to me, but the only reason i think ive stayed with him is beacuse i think i love him because hes the only one there for me.. idk what to do?

i know exactly how you feel. i have been with mine for almost 2 yrs..and the difference is i ditched my friends right away. i would see my boyfriend all day everyday. i even spent an entire summer barely seeing them. i am one lucky person to still have my great friends. i made things better, i apologized, and i definitely started hanging out with them again. now we are in college , so when they come home for break i make it priority to see them.
what you should do is this:
- keep in mind good friends will ALWAYS be there..your bf may not
-definitely talk to your friends and apologize!
-hang out with them more often! work out a system where one weekend you spend friday night with your bf and saturday night with your friends.
change your ways, dotn ditch them again

-making a card,photo album, etc for your friends could be a great idea.
-spell it out to your bf that you dont want to continue with no friends and seeing him constantly.
good luck,.i hope everything works out well with your friends

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my best friend ever is a black boy named even and no one knows that he is my best friend on earth im afriad to tell my parents about him because they dont really like black people and i love him like my own brother please help i want to tell people about him but i dont know how please help and thanks

let people know. we live in a different time now. if your parents dont like it, which they probably wont, stand up to them. let them know racism is wrong and its 2008 now! our generation must be passionate and strong about breaking racial barriers. dont be ashamed

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ok, this is embarasing but here goes... A while ago i got caught by my neighbor peeking in her window when she had some friends over for a sleepover. i was on her back porch peeking in her window when 1 of her friends came out and said what are you doing??? i was like.. o my god... i was so embarased. so she told the other girls wat i was doing and they all talked and then 1 of them came to me and said they wouldnt tell on me if i did wat they said. she said that to be fair they should get to see me naked and that I should strip naked for them. otherwize they would tell my mom that i was a pervert and a peeping tom. anyway, i did it. i took off all my clothes and let them all see me. they looked and giggled and stuff for a long time and then they let me go home. The thing is that since then a couple of them have made be do it again for girls that werent even at the sleepover. they say i desrve it for peeking at them that night. Do you think I deserve it? Should I keep doing it for them? Please give me your advice!

Thanks,
Paul

oh my! haha no of course you dont desserve that. i wouldnt do this once more. next time, tell them they can tell your mom. and when she asks, just assure her you just wanted to see what they were doing, its not like they were naked. and if they tell your mom you exposed yourself to them so they wouldn tell, deny it!

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I've been officially dating my boyfriend for about a month but we've been together for about seven. probably half of that time he was having sex with his ex girlfriend of a year and a half. I ended things twice with him, the first time hoping he would shape up and the second time I was just sick of all the drama with his ex. But he did shape up the second time and he officially was completely committed to me about 2 months ago. I'm not concerned one bit about his feelings for me. He's sometimes more romantic than me. He not only tells me he loves me and will never ever leave me, I can see he feels what he says. He's sometimes clingy and hates when I even talk to other guys. But I believe, once a cheater, always a cheater. So I check his myspace every now and then. He doesn't talk to other girls in a flirty way but he does comment their pictures saying "so cute" or "really pretty" and one time a girl asked if he had a girlfriend and he said "who cares" what should I think of this? I'm the type that likes to show I've got a boyfriend so I put some things on my myspace about him. but his profile says single and has nothing about me. although the single part is hidden so no one can see, still it worries me. I told him it bothered me that he didn't want people to know about us on his myspace and he said sorry and that he would put some thing but he hasn't. I feel like I can't trust him. He basically does whatever he wants wherever whenever because he has parents that don't really care about what he does. I don't know whether to breakup with him or just forget about it. please help!

oh my gosh. its bad enough he cheated on you, but he is telling girls now that "who cares" if he has a gf? this just shows he will cheat again. why subject yourself to this scum?? you cant trust him,he hurt you before,definitely get out of this messed up situation. you say he is all romantic and you beleive he loves you..dont buy this bullcrap hes feeding you! a REAL guy would be romantic, say he loves you, WITHOUT the cheating part or the part where hes telling girls who cares if he has a bf, etc.You desserve SO0O much better, dont settle for a jerk hun

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[14/f] okay soo im 14 yrs. old and i like this guys who is 17. he told me he liked me a while ago and i told him i liked him back, but he has a girlfriend. yesterday he said he loved me and there is just something about me. i told him i cant say it back cause i cant say it if i dont feel it. hes just perfecttt. hes done nothing more than makeout because he hasen't found the right girl and im in the same situation with a guy. what should i do about his girlfriend though.?

thank youu.

ugh i hate guys who are like this! if he was really in to you, he would break up with his girl to be with you. If he doesnt do that, he must not care about yuo enough to be with you. Tell him this..if he loves you so much he would want to be with you, he wouldnt be saying i love you while hes with his gf making out, saaying i love you to her, etc. So if he wont break up with her, forget him

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ok so first of all i have known what sex is since i was 8 and now im 14 and i have had my period for about a year now and my parents dont know that i have my period or i know what sex is i have been hiding my period from them because i dont want to talk about sex with them it feels weird when i talk about stuff like that with them i cant even tell them that i have a crush on a boy or somthing like that i just feel really weird how can i tell them that i have my period without getting the sex talk

you dont have to say it right out you have your period..you can drop hints like leaving a box of tampons or pads in your room showing.She might give you the sex talk when she notices, she might not. If she does give the sex talk, just get through it for the one time. I got it, it was so0o0o awkward, but my mom was just being a good parent.

good luck

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ok , i wanna do something sweet for my boyfriend . nothing big ya know . but just somthing to show him i love it . Maybe somthing i can do at my house , no money or anything .

any idea ?

aw, whatever you will do he will love it!

- make him a cd with some cute songs
-a card telling him how much you love him with a cute picture of you two inside or a poem
-draw a picture of you two

my one friend used to copy the clip "love is" out of the newspaper.

-i agree that cooking, a romantic walk at sunset, going for a drive, etc are great ideas

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hey
so this may seem like a dumb question but im wondering how to cuddle with guys. I feel like every time i lay on their sholder or chest or something im like cutting off the circulation to their arm. Im not a big girl at all, i just dont want him(or me) to feel uncomfortable.
help please! xoxo

Im sure you arent hurting them at all. Im a bigger girl and my bf doesnt complain about it feeling uncomfortable. If this really concerns you , you can put a soft blanket or small pillow on his shoulder if you are laying down, or just ask him (once) if hes comfy..and then give a cute smile :)

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so my "best friend" of 3 years is amazing.
but when shes around anyone but me she sometimes ignores me.and its not like i need her all the time to be right there i mean.. its kinda hard to explain. and when she's around her boyfriend ooh man! she always flirts with our(yes our)ex and i do like him and i think she likes him too. but she says she doesnt and that she loves her new boyfriend and stuff; but idk. she just makes me so frustrated when she ignores me and stuff for guys. i mean ill always be here and they most likely wont. so how do i stay calm and not flipp out on her. i know its partly jealousy but still the other part of it is frustration.

You guys have been best friends for a longgg time. Keep that in mind and you are right, you will be therre longer than the guys will. Expressing your feelings is another great way. You can let her know that sometimes you feel she values guys over you and she ignores you at times when guys are around. You can talk to her without flipping out..hopefully she understands how you feel and will keep in mind that friends will always be there ! :)

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I spent the majority of last year head over heels for this guy. He claimed that he felt the same way. Long story short, he was warm one week and cold the next. I had no idea what was going on in his head. Around June I decided I didn't want to get hurt anymore so I tried ignoring him the whole summer. It worked until I saw him at a friends house. I couldn't help, I fell again.


We're now dating and have been for almost 4 months. He tells me that he had problems last year and didn't know what he wanted and was just confused. He says that he finally realized what was in front of him. I am happy to be with him because I've never felt this way about a guy before..I can't explain it.


The problem is he hurt me so much last year and I just can't seem to get over it. When something about him comes up from last year I honestly want to break down and cry, it still hurts that bad. I've expressed this to him before and he feels awful about it and I know he regrets it. BUt I just can't get over it. Any help?

I can relate to you in a way. I have been with my boyfriend for a couple years on and off. In the past he has done some things to hurt me, and it still hurts a lot sometimes, especially if we have an arguement. The best i can tell you is to keep in mind he is your bf now and hopefully things will be great. As time goes on it will feel better, hopefully when you express your hurt, he listens to you and comforts you.
Time and support will help you get over it

-melissa-

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is it normal that when you smoke a cigarette it makes you lightheaded and dizzy? why is this

unfortunately, i do smoke..and when i first started i got very light headed for the first few weeks. i wasnt used to it, now im certainly addicted :/ and hoping to quit in the next month, but yes the lightheadedness is normal at first.

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13/f

my boyfriend has been talking about having sex in the summer, but....thats a BIG step, and i dont know if i should or not. ive been trying to figure out what the worse that can happen is...and if we use a condom...i dont think i could get pregnant.

i really think you are too young, please listen to us and dont do it. if you and your bf are still together a few years down the road, then fine. there is no rush at all..save your virginity because once its gone, there is no getting it back. in your quesstion you also said you are trying to figure out the worst that can happen...pregnancy! condoms are 97% effective, but if they break, they obviously arent effective at all. please wait, and if you are still together a few years later, then consider sex

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well i started talkin to this guy that told me him and his girlfriend that broke up .. and well he told me he couldnt call because his ex had his cell and wouldnt give it back.. so i said ok.. well he keeps sayin he really wants to talk to me tellin me im beautiful and stuff well so i looked up her myspace and his and he said that is Ex was livin in denial about them breakin up.. so she changed his password on myspace.. so on her myspace and his it still says they are together!
well and he told me he would come by 2day and give me my xmas and bday gifts and he stood me up
so he tells me we are datin and at the game tomarrow he will talk to me and everything but his ex will be there so idk if i should talk to him or not. Please anwser my Question..

obviously he is giving his girlfriend the runaround. i would hate to be her. i wouldnt get involved with this guy, he sounds like no good. i would talk to this guy in front of his gf and lay it all out. who knows? she might not know what is even going on..so tell him you are pissed off for him playing you and his girlfriend and you are done with hearing his crap. you desserve better hun!

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I've only had one boyfriend, so he is the only one who has ever touched me down there...and I'm wondering if he's doing it right because sometimes it kinda hurts. He uses one of his fingers and goes in and out and sometimes I guess his nail scratches the inside of me or something. Also he pushes it in really far and hard, which kind of hurts too. So I guess it doesn't feel as good as I think it should.

But yeah, I haven't had much experience, so...what is supposed to happen when that sort of thing goes on?

He wasnt doing it right, because it is nottt supposed to hurt. some guys think going rough will make it feel good..nail scratches and pain is nott good..be sure to make this clear. figure out what you like by masturbating, and show him. communicate it to him..because he wannnts to make you feel good. so if he doesnt know what he is going, definitely guide him..some guys need some help lol ;)
whats supposed to happen is he is supposed to make you feel really good..if its anything but good, if it hurts, tell him to stop and show him or tell him what to do

-melissa-

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i just broke up with my cheating ex...now he is with the girl he was cheating on me with. she is great. and he loves her... he used to love me but treats her better. i want to find a guy that will care about me... but i just dont know how to make myself feel better. i am so different now.. and i really miss him. how do i get over him and find someone new.. please help

first off..he cheated, which is terrible. remind yourself you dont desserve that and you will find your dream guy down the road who will never ever hurt you like that. be happy you are away from him, because once a cheater,, always a cheater. let him go with her, i bet he will cheat on her too!

some things to feel better:
-go out and treat yourself. get a new haircut,go shopping with friends,etc.
-i dont know how old you are, but if you are old enough, hit up the clubs with your friends! go dancing, get guys to dance with you, buy you drinks, or even go to a male strip club hehe.
- getting a rebound wont help anything. i have been through that..i liked him, but not a deep like.., it made me miss my ex more, and i wound up hurting the poor guy.

instead, just go out and have some fun. hang out with yyour girlfriends, hit up the parties, meet new people, and always remember you desserve a greay guy! it might take a little bit to find him..in the mean time go out on dates,meet new people, and dont get down over a scumbag cheater hun!

stay strong
-melissa-

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i'm seventeen years old. quite frankly, i'm tired!! I adore my mom, but she's out of control. She's been spying on me since i was 13. I'm not kidding. She has been monioring who I've been talking to and spying on everything I've said to them. Now that that's stopped a little bit because I don't go online as much, she's on my myspace every single day. she changes my songs. She told me to put this really funny song and now she's like, it's too strong, so she changed it back. I'm soooo upset. She needs to get a life, and she doesn't. Help!!

I know how it feels to be spyed on . My dad had a spy program and read my IMS for 7 months and i had no clue until he confronted me about certain things i talked aboit doing, etc. You should have a talk with your mom, but i doubt she will stop spying. If i were you, i would try and save up money so you can get your own laptop so you finally get some privacy. You have dealt with this spying for 4 years, you are at the age where you can be independant soon and buy your own things, so the spying can end. I think you should change your myspace password so she cant log on to your myspace anymore and just explain you are 17 and you desserve more privacy than you are getting.

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some girl keeps calling my boyfriends phone and he keeps lying to me about it. I think hes cheating on me how do i know? What should i do im so hurt.

Is he showing signs of cheating? Making excuses for not hanging out? Things like that? Well anyway, the problem is him lying to you about the phone calls. Do you know who this girl is? If so, find a way to talk to her..IM,in person,etc. and ask for the honest truth about what is going on. Confront him and tell him you KNOW hes lying. I agree with everyone else that you shouldnt be with a liar. Tell him you dont want to be with a liar and you want him to tell the truth and explain. Hopefully things work out, but dont put up with lying and things going on behind your back. Trust me, it accumulates and if he knows you know things are going on behind your back and you dont do anything about it, he will continue it and you will get caught in a mess.

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