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she's out of control!!!!!!
i'm seventeen years old. quite frankly, i'm tired!! I adore my mom, but she's out of control. She's been spying on me since i was 13. I'm not kidding. She has been monioring who I've been talking to and spying on everything I've said to them. Now that that's stopped a little bit because I don't go online as much, she's on my myspace every single day. she changes my songs. She told me to put this really funny song and now she's like, it's too strong, so she changed it back. I'm soooo upset. She needs to get a life, and she doesn't. Help!!
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Their house, their rules. As much as it might piss you off these days, its requires of a responsible parent.
Why?
Lets say that you are brilliant. You are streetwise and net smart and know how to keep yourself safe and away from all the random shit you can get yourself entangled in without adult supervision.
She doesnt know that. You're 17. I'm sure you dont talk to her a ton about your life. She isnt in your head and doesnt know how smart you are in regards to keeping yourself safe.
So, she spies. She does this so that if there is something that could happen to you, she has a chance to find out about it.
As much as it infringes on your privacy, its what responsible parents have to do these days. Because for every set of kids that keep themselves safe as I assume you probably are, there is a set of kids (smaller set) who get themselves into trouble.
They meet creepy old men. They talk to people they shouldnt. They learn things they arent ready for.
I read an article a month or two back about a 15 year old girl who committed suicide because the guy she liked on myspace stopped talking to her. It turned out that he didnt exist, it was one of her class mates pretending specifically to hurt her.
Your mother doesnt know if youd react like that in that situation. But she wants to be able to have some level of input. When it comes to internet, she can use spy programs or she can restrict you and only let you online when she can watch over your shoulder.
When you hit the age where you might have kids, if you do decide to, you will understand this. Parents must have input on their childrens lives. And until you turn 18 you have no say. Its her right as a parent to protect you however she sees fit. If it smothers you a little bit, talk to her about it. The ONLY possible way shes going to loosen up is if you talk to her and help her understand that her fears arent going to come true.
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I know how it feels to be spyed on . My dad had a spy program and read my IMS for 7 months and i had no clue until he confronted me about certain things i talked aboit doing, etc. You should have a talk with your mom, but i doubt she will stop spying. If i were you, i would try and save up money so you can get your own laptop so you finally get some privacy. You have dealt with this spying for 4 years, you are at the age where you can be independant soon and buy your own things, so the spying can end. I think you should change your myspace password so she cant log on to your myspace anymore and just explain you are 17 and you desserve more privacy than you are getting.
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You need to make sure she realizes that what she is doing is driving you crazy. You should talk to her, ask her what's going on, and let her know what the problem is. But the key is to do it in a time when not only she is in a good mood, but you are too. If you aren't all upset and onfire, then you will be less likely to (unintentionally) smart-off or have an attitude in your tone of voice. If neither of these happen then hopefully the discussion will be productive and your mom will respond in a positive way.
Good Luck :]]
-Topaz
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Well, you really can't blame her for trying to look out for you on the computer. With all the weirdos there are out there in internet land, I'll be doing the same thing when mine are that age. (I'm sure you will, too, when you become a mother of a teenager.)
Yah, I know we mothers can be quite annoying, but the best way to look at it is the bright side of it- she surely doesn't do it to annoy the crap out of you, she does it because she wants to look out for you and protect you. Going overboard or not, her heart is in the right place and she has good intentions.
That makes you a lucky one when so many kids have parents who could care less about what they do.
She does have a life. YOU are her life, kiddo.
Don't get rude with her. Just tell her that looking out for you is one thing, but messing with your songs is another.
ygs-29/f
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